bash.org archive

<MercyBeat> For those of you planning on seeing the third LOTR
movie at the theater her are some survival tips.
<MercyBeat> 1. Stand up halfway through the movie and yell
loudly, "Wait... where the hell is Harry Potter?"
<MercyBeat> 2. Block the entrance to the theater while
screaming: "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" - After the movie, say "Lucas
could have done it better."
<MercyBeat> 3. At some point during the movie, stand up and
shout: "I must go! Middle Earth needs me!" and run and try to
jump into the screen. After bouncing off, return quietly to
your seat.
<MercyBeat> 4. Play a drinking game where you have to take a
sip every time someone says: "The Ring."
<MercyBeat> 5. Point and laugh whenever someone dies.
<MercyBeat> 6. Ask the nearest ring-nut if he thinks Gandalf
went to Hogwarts
<MercyBeat> 7. Finish off every one of Elrond's lines with
"Mr. Anderson."
<MercyBeat> 8. When Aragorn is crowned king, stand up and at
the top of your lungs sing, "And I did it.... MY way...!"
<MercyBeat> 9. At the end, complain that Gollum was offensive
to Ethiopians
<MercyBeat> 10. Talk like Gollum all through the movie. At the
end, bite off someone's finger and fall down the stairs.
<MercyBeat> 11. When Shelob appears, pinch the guy in front of
you on the back of the neck.
<MercyBeat> 12. Dress up as old ladies and reenact "The Battle
of Helms Deep" Monty Python style.
<MercyBeat> 13. When Denethor lights the fire, shout
"Barbecue!"
<MercyBeat> 14. Ask people around you who they think is the
next "Terminator" sent from the Middle Earth of the future to
assassinate Frodo Baggins
<MercyBeat> 15. In TTT when the Ents decide to march to war,
stand up and shout "RUN FOREST, RUN!"
<MercyBeat> 16. Every time someone kills an Orc, yell: "That's
what I'm Tolkien about!" See how long it takes before you get
kicked out of the theatre.
<MercyBeat> 17. During a wide shot of a battle, inquire,
"Where's Waldo?"
<MercyBeat> 18. Talk loudly about how you heard that there is
a single frame of a nude Elf hidden somewhere in the movie.
<MercyBeat> 19. Start an Orc sing-a-long.
<MercyBeat> 20. Come to the premiere dressed as Frankenfurter
and wander around looking terribly confused.