bash.org archive

<ColonelCoroner> Nah, this one's good.  Alright, so it was
getting a little crowded in Heaven, so God decided to change
the admittance policy. The new law was that, in order to get
into Heaven, you had to have a really bad day when you died. 
The Angel at the gate said to the man, "Before I let you in, I
need you to tell me how your day was going when you died."
<ColonelCoroner> "No problem," the man said. "I came home to
my 10th floor apartment on my lunch hour and caught my wife
half naked. I knew she was fucking some bitch, I glanced out
onto the balcony and noticed that there was a man hanging off
the edge by his fingertips!  Well, I ran out onto the balcony
and stomped on his fingers until he fell to the ground. But
wouldn't you know it, he landed in some trees and bushes that
broke his fall and he didn't die. This pissed me off even
more. I wanted to kill the fucker! So I unplugged my
refrigerator, pushed it out onto the balcony, and tipped it
over the side. It plummeted 10 stories and crushed him! The
excitement of the moment was so great that I had a heart
attack and died almost instantly."
<ColonelCoroner> The Angel considers this, and let's him in
cuz it WAS a bad day....The next dude comes up, and is asked
the same question.  So the dude replies, "But you're not going
to believe this. I was on the balcony of my 11th floor
apartment doing my daily exercises. I was really pushing hard,
and I guess I got a little carried away, slipped, and
accidentally fell over the side! Luckily, I was able to catch
myself by the fingertips on the balcony below mine. But all of
a sudden this crazy man comes running out of his apartment,
started cussing, and stomps on my fingers. I fell and fucking
hit some trees and bushes at the bottom which broke my fall so
I didn't die right away. As I'm laying there face up on the
ground in shock and in excruciating pain, I see this guy push
his refrigerator, of all things, off the balcony. It falls the
10 floors and lands on top of me, killing me instantly."
<Piro-nuts> rofl...
<ColonelCoroner> So the Angel chuckles, thinks his job is
pretty cool, and let's this dude in...the third dude comes up,
and again the Angel asks him the same question about how he
died.  So the dude goes, 'Okay, picture this, I'm hiding in
this refrigerator right..."