bash.org archive

<+TheUltra4sshole> I mean, we started 2 nights before,
recruiting strippers to show up
<+TheUltra4sshole> things got out of hand, and we end up with
10 kegs, and who knows how many imported sluts
<+TheUltra4sshole> I'm not talking tundra wookies
<+TheUltra4sshole> I mean, decent-looking chicks
<+TheUltra4sshole> they'd ranks a 6 or 7 here, but are fucking
TEN in alaska
<+TheUltra4sshole> party goes awesome
<+TheUltra4sshole> don't catch any of the game
<+TheUltra4sshole> we all pass out by about 3 am
<+TheUltra4sshole> first call is at 6 am
<+TheUltra4sshole> and being professional alcoholics, we
rigged the central firealarm to go off 10 minutes before first
call
<+TheUltra4sshole> well, we all wake up to the fire alarm,
clean the shithole up, then go down to PT formation
<+TheUltra4sshole> just expecting a 10-mile detox run or
something gay like that
<+TheUltra4sshole> 1SG says we're having a health and welfare
inspection
<+TheUltra4sshole> where he goes through everbody's room and
fucks you up for anything that's out of place
<+TheUltra4sshole> well... we had 10 empty kegs and a buncha
passed out whores in our building...
<+TheUltra4sshole> not to mention the little shit like bottle
caps and whatnot
<+TheUltra4sshole> thank GOD he went to consolidated barracks
first, so we had about an hour to get everything cleaned up
<+TheUltra4sshole> you wanna talk about a buncha men working
as a team...
<+TheUltra4sshole> we had the buffer going, you heard nothing
but vacuums, sweeping, mopping, and calls for the medic to get
a hooker with an IV
<+TheUltra4sshole> pure mayhem
<+TheUltra4sshole> we get all the sluts out of our own rooms,
and since the dayroom only had a little bit of furniture and
we can work on it together, we all hit it at once
<+TheUltra4sshole> well...there was one chick left over
<+TheUltra4sshole> still passed out, topless in a leather
skirt
<+TheUltra4sshole> when we heard CQ on the first floor call
"AT EASE!"
<+TheUltra4sshole> fucking panic
<+TheUltra4sshole> Aubaugh, being the smart crazy jew he was,
stole a buncha rappelling gear from mountaineering
<+TheUltra4sshole> tied her passed-out ass up in a swiss-seat
<+TheUltra4sshole> (mind you, she was wearing JUST a skirt,
and a swiss seat goes between the legs)
<+TheUltra4sshole> tie the 120 to the center pillar, tied her
figure 8 off in a bowline, and pushed her out the window
<+TheUltra4sshole> she hung there for FORTY FIVE FUCKING
MINUTES
<+TheUltra4sshole> We pass the inspection
<+TheUltra4sshole> BUT
<+TheUltra4sshole> as 1SG was walking out of the barracks, he
walked around the outside looking for cigarette butts and
caught us hauling her naked ass back in the window...
<+TheUltra4sshole> Fail
<+TheUltra4sshole> we had such a good chance to get away with
it...
<+TheUltra4sshole> man was that a long week for charlie
company, 2-1 infantry