bash.org archive

yetiamchosen: So the only part about this curse of recruiting
potentials for the marine corps that isn't utterly miserable
is fucking with the people that have already signed up. Now,
we don't want to scare them off entirely, so we can't just sit
there and be like, "You're going to die in bootcamp!" But we
can be completely insane with each other in front of them, and
let them draw that conclusion on their own. So we're told to
take the poolees on a 1.5 mile run today. No staff nco's
there, so we're like, "Fuckit. There's two recruits, there's
eight of us ... four mile run." So we start running and I had
just had a monster energy drink, the lo ball kind, which is
red. That's a dumbass's recipe for disaster, but I really
wanted one so I had one anyway. It dehydrates you, gives you
cramps, and makes you puke. So we've been running like half a
mile and without breaking pace I casually puke onto the side
of the road, and keep running. Among marines this is normal
behavior, so no one even says anything, but the recuruit is
looking like, "Wtf, did that guy just puke without stopping?"
geekryan: lol
yetiamchosen: And he's like, "Dude! Are you alright!" I'm
like, "KEEP RUNNING!" and I speed up a little bit, chuckling
inside. And then it really hits me and I'm like, going full
speed, just hurling all over the side of the road, wiping my
mouth, running, hurling and he looks at the puke and he goes,
"OH MY GOD ARE YOU PUKING BLOOD!"
geekryan: HAHAHAHA
yetiamchosen: And I go, "THAT'S NOT BLOOD IT'S CONFIDENCE
AAAAGGGHHHHH!!!" And I just blast off like a little red
streaming rocket ship. I look behind me and this kid seriously
look like he's just about to piss his pants, like, "Oh my god,
what the fuck have I gotten myself into?" I got up to the
front and this marine looks at me and goes, "Were you really
puking up blood?" I'm like, "No devil, it's monster," and he
just laughs, he's like, "You're going to hell."
yetiamchosen: That's it. I was chuckling inside all the way
home.
geekryan: that really is awesome
geekryan: I can't imagine how freaked out that recruit was
yetiamchosen: I hope he doesn't sleep well again until he gets
to boot camp.