bash.org archive

* gg ([email protected]) has joined #Terraria
<gg> I just cut my hand with a knife while slicing a hotdog.
<@Sqozza> Awesome.
<gg> It happened because the phone rang. When I answered it,
it was this clown I know named Steve.
<gg> He told me he had been to a graveyard and seen my name on
six gravestones.
<gg> When I hung up the phone, I was surprised to notice my
hand dripping blood faster than I'd anticipated from such a
small wound.
<gg> Concerned, I bandaged the hand with a paper napkin, but
realized there was butter on the napkin, and the butter had
salt in it.
<gg> So, with a stinging hand, I ran cold water over the hand
but the butter made the water slough off.
<gg> Then the doorbell rang.
<gg> I answered it. It was Steve again. He was holding a
package for me and standing at a strange angle.
<gg> I took the package and slammed the door.
<gg> Opening the package, I noticed two things. 1) The package
was unaddressed, and 2) my hand was still bleeding.
<@Sqozza> 3) Steve is awesome.
<gg> I ripped the package open and inside were five rusted
nails and a jack rabbit's head.
<gg> I called Steve back, but he didn't answer.
<gg> Confused and bleeding, I tossed the box into the trash
and sat back down on the couch to finish Dr. Who.
<TheBadShepperd> I knew this was going to end bad when you
said you knew a clown.
<@Sqozza> Clowns these days
<gg> But the episode was strange. It was about to short people
fighting over a rotten piece of meat.
<gg> The Dr. was nowhere to be seen.
<gg> I got out a T.V. Guide to see if I was mistaken about
what I'd TiVo'd.
<@Sqozza> gg, maybe you were watching Jersey Shore instead
<gg> I wasn't. It was, indeed, Dr. Who. At least according to
T.V. Guide.
<gg> I put the remote down and noticed that my hand was still
bleeding.
<gg> Then I ate my hotdog.
<gg> Slowly.
* gg ([email protected]) has left #Terraria
<@Sqozza> What the fuck just happened