bash.org archive

<jesus_> my healing hands be drivin tha virgins wild.

<helpmemor> which port that ping used?

* suicide6x packets stikys brain
<suicide6x> Now you are dumb
<Yottabyte> too late
<Yottabyte> Packeting stiky's brain would be like packeting a
dial up connection
<Stiky> shut up
<Stiky> more like
<Stiky> 26k now
<Stiky> cause i smoked a bowl
<suicide6x> ha
<suicide6x> exploit!

*** malapropy is now known as cd-german
<_mrT> ls pr0n
<Craig> lol

<sk8er^BzY> But i want to have Sex
<sk8er^BzY> when i press sex

< pooter> I just came up with an amazingly good simile for
math
<+echobinary> does it add up?
< pooter> :|

<gecko__> i just oiled up my cats ass,but now when i try to
boff him he slips away!
<gecko__> =[~!
<Esad> i knew there was a reason i hated cats

<M|ssKitty> olivier says my anus looks like that *

Geeky Weezer Fan: Is she still downright refusing head?
onkeybutt87: haha
onkeybutt87: I haven't really asked her since Saturday
onkeybutt87: but I think so, yeah
onkeybutt87: why?
Geeky Weezer Fan: Slit her throat.
onkeybutt87: well, I guess that's one way to get it in
there...

@Vader  Ne[r]d, is there a place on the comp where you can
identify what kind of soundcard you have?
@Vader  I just shocked the shit out of myself [again]

<sico> arsa you need to strat jIRCing
<sico> i.e. jerking and IRCing at the same time

* ZoMbIeGuY has joined #finalfight
<Xerox> It's a zombie! Aim for the head, guys!
<ZoMbIeGuY> =(
* ToastyGhost knocks ZoMbIeGuY unconscious
<Nimduin> ...Wow, he's either AzN or StUpId.
<ToastyGhost> Just an AOL'r
<ZoMbIeGuY> Uhh... I'm outter here.
<ZoMbIeGuY> goodbye.
* ToastyGhost cheers
<Nimduin> That, or he's Fake President Deling.
<TedAran> Ha
* ZoMbIeGuY has quit IRC (Quit: )

<Pi> I'm being a dick.  It's the only thing I can do well.

<kojimyuu> "IT MAKES THE PEOPLE WANT TO FORNICATE."
<Amidamaru> IRC?
<kojimyuu> no

<Cyb> where the hell is the new pokey
<Cyb> it hasn't been updated in like a while
<Cyb> sept 17
<Cyb> wait that's today
<Cyb> stupid internet explorer

<arch0n> And no one really runs Solaris either...
<foop> like white people can tell the difference

<norab> id fuck your leg to cryt but i havent read how to do
actions yet

<jre> A WHORE WAS HAVING A LIQUIDATION SALE

<litigator> alcohol always helps the cause
<litigator> roofies only as a last resort

* freebs is playing [ Fiddler On The Roof - If I Were A Rich
Man ] ¤ M[X]S
<aNuBiS-> lol
<freebs> i'm very eclectic
<freebs> well if it's spelt right
<aNuBiS-> that fancy speak for, gay?

<navs> i give up
<wolf> navs: isn't that the translation of the french national
anthem?
<navs> hahaha
<boobie> hahaha

<l_oke> im sure velocity sucks. Not that i use it, but most
people that plugs their solutions all the time tend to be
morons, and we all know what kind of code morons write.

@jaban> "I'm going to go on the porn and get my e-mail *cough
cough* I mean the Internet"
@jaban> I don't know how many times I've made that mistake.
@gardah> haha

<fiz> porn's a good addiction too
<fiz> not like needy womens
<fiz> rub my feet... not tonight... in the butt again
<fiz> bitch whine moan

(@Klarth): Vapr is just out of tune
(@Klarth): The staff on his quarter note is too short
(Vapr): Your half note became a quarter note
(Vapr): after i cut it in half
(@Klarth): O_o
(@Klarth): And Ochanomizu is a whole note since she has no
staff
(@Klarth): o_O

[OutLore  ] horray! my crossover cable worked! putting ends on
is easy....
[madwoota ] if you have a crimper :P
[OutLore  ] took me 45 for the first one, 5 for the second..
:)
[madwoota ] cat5 ends take < 10 seconds
[OpsuPup  ] but you're l33t woota
[OpsuPup  ] how could OutLore possibly hope to compete with
you?
[madwoota ] i know, it's tough, but someone has to be this
good

<[ryan]> there have been many times that i popped a boner on
accident and i was like
<[ryan]> in a cold sweat
<[ryan]> trying to get that mother down

<daenonok> yea, but keep in mind when you're talking to d4n
you're talking to someone so poor
<daenonok> he used to steal five dollars worth of caps (like
for cap guns)
<daenonok> empty the power into a paper towel, wrap it up and
light it
<daenonok> and that was his 4th of july

Jmnky127: i found a way to make money
Jmnky127: at school
Jmnky127: people will give me dollars to light my nipples on
fire with axe
Jmnky127: or other peoples nipples while they are asleep
Jmnky127: ive made some good money doin that
Jmnky127: like $10
Jmnky127: ive been able to eat a good lunch

<Vash> wee-hee... I got two mroe week sof holidays = D
<^bat-sai> soldier of fortune holidays?
<Vash> eh?
<Samin> there the best kind

* ChanServ sets mode: +v Desi_pants
<+Desi_pants> what?
<+Desi_pants> WHY DID I GET +VD? I DIDNT SIGN IN!
<*megan_nosebleed> you should do that
<+Desi_pants> oh! megan's here! haha hi megan.
<*megan_nosebleed> you got it from me

<predetah> i seen a real hackers movie once, but i couldnt
stand ot watch it all.. those geeks were so ugly
<predetah> this zerocool charactor aint to easy to look at it
either

<Exor> SHOIT
<kevin> hahahahahahaha
<Exor> yea ive been thinking british lately

<Eurotik> MSN is fucked up
<Eurotik> I can't even get on IE

<Sink> heh damn, i think i'm rethinking that shell
<Sink> i think their box just went down
<Sink> lol i was almost done filling everything out too
<Aristotles> wooohooo.. nice... so they're like:
<Aristotles> "DAMNIT! We lost a sale! REDIAL! REDIAL!"

<loser> http://www.goatse.cx
<loser> hahaha lol lol lol
<loser> you looked didn't you? HAHAHAHA
<bane> who gave you your name? your mom?
<bane> whoeva gave it to you, congratulate them for me will
you?
<bane> it's appropiate

<ftstjohn_> 6" long and 4 1/2" thick bald penis
<ftstjohn_> looking for a girl to watch me masterbate in real
life

Dr SpaZZo: I started getting down to it and then my room lit
on fire.
TwilightKnight00: if your computer overheats and combusts and
you run to another computer to tell people about it..... you
might be a junkie

<BBKahuna> shae, my ejaculation was increased by 300%!!!!

<diranged> silly ghost bear
<diranged> where's no sense there's no feeling
<diranged> so pointing pistol at my head is rather useless

* @Cryogen jumps up and down
<@[4K^Got|AW]> I'm putting it in and stuff
<@[4K^Got|AW]> it's coming VERY soon

<ZackSmurf> ur a gay cs whore rnt u skratch
<[-FeC-]sKratch> other than the gay and whore part, yes

Brooke: If I don't get a manicure, I'm going to stick my hands
in the garbage disposal.
Lynxie: YOU CANNOT WRITE WITH NO HANDS!  I DON'T WANT TO WAIT
'TIL YOU LEARN TO TYPE WITH YOUR NOSE!!!!

*** Tartuf has joined channel #college
<Tartuf> hey
<xab> who in the hell is that?
<Tartuf> ...
<Tartuf> ur worse nightmare :p
<xab> mum?

<[TpL]Luke> Really? the nurse who did me was so fat, ugly and
sweaty, she was cooking burgers under her armpits for lunch
<[TpL]Luke> u should have seen her cooking hot dogs!

<St1s> im in the middle of setting up te page
<St1s> but it takes time coz when i get stoned i just look for
hours
<St1s> and then change the font for example...then look again
<spanges> then completely lose focus
<St1s> yeah
<St1s> or change everything
<St1s> like wtf, this sux!

* Acetal changes topic to 'Snakes! In a movie theatre!'
<Acetal> There's an idea for a promotion.

<pmitros> In Europe, is the convention 100C or 100 [little 0
degree symbol] C for expressing temperature?
<st2> pmitros: That can lead to a lot of confusion
<pmitros> st2: What do you mean?
<st2> pmitros: "Bake your turkey at 800C for 20min"
* RelDrgn notes that nobody bakes turkey at 800dF either :P
<pmitros> st2: I'm wondering if you include the little
superscript o. No. It'd be a little bit cooler.
<pmitros> In LaTeX format, is it 100C or 100^oC?
<st2> 100$^o$C
<TigerSun> I'd bake Cyprus ar 2000C

<Calrathan> does it have something to do with Microsoft
rerouting the traffic to go through their own version of
Carnivore, called Omnivore? [it eats EVERYTHING! bwhahahaha]

Rann XXV: The "What's regular coffee?" joke isn't just lame...
it's paraplegic.

<Tikola> i still dont understand how that <3 can mean great or
better or fabulous or what ever.. greater than

<mcdaza> though i still maintain that its virtual bullshit
<Robzy> virtual bullshit??? Does that mean my virtual shoe can
step in it?

<terra> time to slay the dragon!
* Dezy-chan gts some random asian girl to do crazy action
poses while playing!

<Astrakhan> What determines the silica content?
<J>The silicon content in the sand/soil/rocks around it XP
<Astrakhan>Ah. XD
<J> technically silica is silicon. only smaller pieces
<Astrakhan> So, if I steal Pamela's implants, put sand in
them, and expose them to fire, I can get breast shaped glass?
<J>no no no. SILICON. not silicone
<J> Difference
<Astrakhan> Oh.
<J>XP

<Sinatra> foam dancing is a way to spread chlamydia

<nwinter> i am personally more concerned about israel and
palestine
cutting ties with each other than who's whipping who. :)
<nwinter> but perhaps i am being trendy in my concern for more
interesting
issues. :)

[anakin] man i love microsoft visio
[Bayls] yeah, and thanks for answering my question about it
earlier. :)
[anakin] what question did you have?
[Bayls] how well does it sniff out your network and give you a
diagram with Ipaddresses etc?
[Bayls] is it visio enterprise?
[anakin] not sure, i havent tried it yet
[anakin] na i only have professional
[Bayls] It should say it on the box. if it says "enterprise",
it's the enterpr.... ooooh, there IS NO BOX, is there? :)
[anakin] does error checking etc too for ERD, data flow,
structure charts, etc too
[Bayls] sensational!
[annie] you have NO idea what he just said, do you bayls? ;)
[anakin] even gives you an output box at the bottom telling
you any errors as you go along ... like a compiler .. heh
[Bayls] yeah, he said it's got a spell checker or something in
it.

[Topic    ] Synoptica changes topic to '[ madwoota != sober ]'
[madwoota ] since i have only to quote 2 lines from a .log
file to change all your opinions, wonder hwat i couljd get
insteae

wi nd ow zy 2k: your moms a whore and i fucked her in her
brown eye
timskie: my moms on florida and her eyes are green!

<spazzer> i've found out that the longer the muffler body is,
the quieter the exhaust is
<spicrx7> duh spazz
<spicrx7> that's like saying...
<spicrx7> i've found out that the fatter the girl is, the more
she sweats"
<TheDrip> the bigger my dick is, the more spic will scream
when I stick it up the ass
<TheDrip> up his ass rather

<CrazyLich> GET IN MAH PANTS
<_Mantis_> ok
<_Mantis_> but get out of my parking spot
<_Mantis_> I dont care if its "your corner"

<Indole> never thought I'd say this, but I think I'm actually
missing pubes a bit.
<Phucker> It happens to the best of us.
<Phucker> ":("
<steelcap> lol

shoeman: ohhhh Kate Hudson....
shoeman: 0hhhhhh
EvilBanana: eew, bag o' bones
shoeman: oh shush
shoeman: lol
EvilBanana: she is!
shoeman: blah blah blah
EvilBanana: I have zits bigger than her boobs
shoeman: lol
shoeman: and since when are big boobs a big deal?
shoeman: :-P
EvilBanana: neva..but she absolutely lacks in the mammary
department
EvilBanana: I'm not even sure she's a  mammal
shoeman: lol

gstridg: When I die, you are allowed to make all sorts fun
about it, because I will be dead and I will not mind, so long
as you do it in a manner that does not upset my surviving
family.
gstridg: That said.
gstridg: Universal Studios presents: AMY WINEHOUSE AND MACHO
MAN RANDY SAVAGE: A MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN.

<timmo> i fucking hate
<timmo> when i answer the phone
<timmo> and it gos like this
<timmo> me: hello?
<timmo> person: hello?
<timmo> me: ... <click>
<timmo> well i hate everything besides the last line

<Numloxx> why is it that when i saw the book troubleshooting
winXP, i immediately had a vision of somebody with a sniper
rifle trying to shoot through the whole in the middle of a
winXP cd...
<Nick> because you're an idiot
<sion> Or special
<sion> "special"

-utah.tx.******.org:@#sex- Sico invited Trojan into channel #
sex.

<The-Dude> I heard it involves placing a toilet paper tube up
there and letting a hampster crawl in....then pull out the
tube, leaving the hampster in there......
<Kanush> that is disgusting.......yet intriguining "

<clubransom> I want my isp to block this 900 number stuff.