bash.org archive

<kiwibonga> oh fuck
<kiwibonga> it's 5:45AM
<kiwibonga> you'd think I would have noticed since it's
written next to every fucking line in this window

MycenaeSC2K4: Sigmund Freud once thorized that all male
children have, at one point or another, want to have sex with
their mothers.
MycenaeSC2K4: Now, one might think "OMG WTF?!"
MycenaeSC2K4: Until they get a look at Freud's mom...
Surfrider132: uhh, yeah
MycenaeSC2K4: Holy fuck, I'd want that!!

<Omnica> Man, I love air new zealand... the flight attendant
was saying the usual about emergency exits and shit when
suddenly "and for those passengers who are sitting in first
class, instead of life jackets, you will find parachutes under
your seat thank you and enjoy your flight"

<@MephistoSan> I'm having deja vu
<@MephistoSan> they must have added something new to the
matrix
<@MephistoSan> :/
<+DHX|cleaningroom> omg they cut the hardline
<+DHX|cleaningroom> GET OUT NOW
<@MephistoSan> GET ME AN EXIT
<+DHX|cleaningroom> AFFIRMATIVE
MephistoSan has left IRC (Quit: Local kill by DHX|cleaningroom
(exit))

<Prae> <mmp> Prae! Today its my birthday!
<Prae> <Prae> wanna present?
<Prae> <mmp> yes
<Prae> I m ping flooding him

<kolby> man I am getting layed so many times this weekend
<kolby> I don't care how tired my hand gets.

<geckosenator> my new approach to optimizing is comment random
lines of code out and check speed and verify the results are
still correct

<+Toba> heh, you can chmod a file to 007
<+Toba> license to be killed

<bLaKeiMuS_TiReD> i had a dream 2 nights ago that my penis was
stuck in the hole of a TDK silver cd and i was really nervous
<jAyVeNoMx> damn dood if my dick fit in a CD hole I'd be
nervous too

(IRC trivia)
<IMAP> masturbating
<Guest89332>  IMAP wins 5 Points for  masturbating

<JonJonB> The url he gave me for gay porn doesn't even work
<JonJonB> ....fuck
<Fentom> YOU TRIED IT OUT?
<JonJonB> ...no?

<TrUSoLDiA> since when was linux free?

<DELTRON> Note to self: when searching kazaa for southpark
episode "cartman gets an anal probe", be sure to include the
keyword 'southpark'!!!

<Brentai> ...you guys realize that this is the least I've ever
laughed.  I'm anti-laughing.
<FoxieMoxie> You're anti-laughing? Good, I hope your lungs
implode then.

<TreCool> I had the stupidest secretary ever today at the
unviersity. I walked in to get my transcripts and she tells me
she needs my school ID number and my first and last name. Now
I'm wearing my hat that has my last name on the back of it
over the Oilers symbol and I'm wearing the hat backwards so
its right out there for her to see. So anyway, I give her my
id number and my first name then say my last name. The
secretary said "Oh cool! Just like the one on your hat! Now
how do you spell that?" I was like "...". I was so tempted to
bitch slap that moron.

(%neeley_09) chain letters aren't even trying anymore
(%neeley_09) "You are definately going to die tonight."
(%neeley_09) "So repost this before you do!"

<DuTcHiN> U know how you get all lazy and wash your clothes at
the last minute?
<EVILeye04> Um, yeah
<DuTcHiN> Well i was ready to go out to this party right, so
there i was irc'ing in my shirt and boxers waiting for the
load of washing to finish..... and i hear my ride beep from
out the front, so i log off, grab my phoe, wallet and half-wet
pants from the wash and throw them on and as i am bout to get
out the door mum yells 'Wait' so i go 'no time mum' and hop in
the car. By the time we get to the city and get out there is
this weird smell.....
<EVILeye04> and????
<DuTcHiN> And then i turn on my mobile phone and see '1
message received' from 'mum' ---> Sorry i tried to get you to
come back, the cat puked in the washing machine.           So
i had to spend the rest of the night in my stinky pants and
all the chicks looked at me funny. :(

<Jude> I wish humans laid eggs
<Ringlord> UGH
<Ringlord> why would you want humans to lay eggs?
<Jude> So i can eat them

<sTek> "ONLY FRIENDS", i hate those two words
<sTek> even worse than "im pregnant"

sovquestionmark> TV/ Movies: Category: Highlander: What
was the name of Duncan MacLeod's monk mentor?
@sovquestionmark> Here's your 1st hint: da____
[Darius]> I should know this
@sovquestionmark> Time's up! The answer was: darius
@sovquestionmark> OMFG
@sovquestionmark> LOL
@sovquestionmark> !topic travis fails at life so hardcore
ChanServ changes topic to 'travis fails at life so hardcore'
[Darius]> I do.

<dpkg> greycat:
BadgerBadgerBadgerBadgerBadgerBadgerMushroomMUSHROOMBadgerBadgerBadgerBadgerSnaaaaaaaaakkeeeASnaaaaake
<greycat> ah, the lynx-compatible version.

* Amon rocks out to Guns N Roses - Sweet Child O' Mine
<Amon> this song owns
<r0bz0r> It does
<Amon> ;)
<r0bz0r> I'm surprised michael jackson didn't do a remake

<Emokid01> I am always tempted to mumble "zerg rush" under my
breath when I see Koreans on campus.

<Logomancr> although I don't know how reliable plasma screens
are
<Logomancr> I wonder if I punched a whole in it when running
if "plasma" would leak out, in a very star trek moment
<Logomancr> ;P
<Logomancr> "hello fire department, I have a plasma leak in my
reactor coils"
<lev|> "on screen"
<Logomancr> "no no, I'm talking about my TV"
<renholde_> maybe if we modify the deflector dish
<Logomancr> that would be so l33t

EchelonOverlord: Jeni's gonna come watch Usual Suspects now.
Morwen K: ooh! has she seen it before?
EchelonOverlord: Nope.
Morwen K: coooool
EchelonOverlord: Oh yeah.
Morwen K: i'd invite myself along but i'm sure this is your
together-time, so i won't intrude ;)
Morwen K: plus i'd probably blurt out "it's kevin spacey!!!"
like halfway through
EchelonOverlord: What?!  Kevin Spacey?!!
Morwen K: ..
Morwen K: fuck

<newkid99> Whats everyone reading today
<Wed> The screen

<Nirtose> heres some geek for you... You make me hotter than a
overclocked, volt-modded Prescott chip with stock heatsink and
fan
<@Beaver> omg dude
<Nirtose> thats right
* Beaver has kicked Nirtose Reason(I told you once that im
married)
* Nirtose has joined #beaver
<Nirtose> :(
* Beaver has kicked Nirtose Reason(And not gay)

<Kurt> Good day prospective employer, I am both smarter than a
hatful of periwinkles and prettier than two bags of smashed
assholes.  Fail to employ me at your own risk.

<_TheFlux_> bleem bleem the magical fruit. the more you play
the more you reboot

<Ommi> So i was talking to this girl
<Ommi> that i have been talking to for a very long time now on
msn messenger
<Ommi> and today i sent her a picture
<Ommi> after that she went offline
<Ommi> and now she's back online and isn't answering anything
i say :/

<AlmtyBob> I think there are more christians than bullets
<AlmtyBob> sucks

<jinkusu> nd-: you're not lagged
<jinkusu> i'm just typing with one hand
<nd-> ok, 'nuff said
<nd-> enjoy
<[dom]> is the other one hugging mr. wonderful?
<jinkusu> yup

<TheGardener[Woo]> was buying new trainers... a kid walked by
and said to his dad "wow he looks like beckham", the kids dad
says "put your glasses back on" :|

<slackor> that sounds gayer than the time i had sex with a man

<DaemoN_> ASHLEY STOP SCRUBBING MY SCHLONG WITH THOSE TREES
<Ashley-> its the only wood you will ever have down there
urchin boy

<AlmtyBob> i HATE MY MOM
<AlmtyBob> fucking I'm just sitting here playing oni
<AlmtyBob> and she walks in
<AlmtyBob> SHE LIVES ACCROSS THE COUNTRY
<AlmtyBob> she is NOT ALLOWED to just walk in
<AlmtyBob> didn't bother calling saying she'd be home
<AlmtyBob> didn't call me from the airport
<AlmtyBob> just bam, walks in
<AlmtyBob> what if I'd been jerking to hardcore teenage lesbo
porn?
<hypr> AlmtyBob: dont forget to take da debbe does dallas
p0rno out of the vcr
<AlmtyBob> actually it's interview with the vibrator
<hypr> haha
<Lk2k1> Bob has naked pictures of lux in his room.
<AlmtyBob> but I stored that away a while ago
<AlmtyBob> all my porn is digital
<AlmtyBob> oh thanks for reminding me
<AlmtyBob> gotta take the flash card out of my digicam
<AlmtyBob> lest she get curious
<hypr> wtf u made a homemade p0rn?
<AlmtyBob> just pics of people I know
<AlmtyBob> nonnude
<AlmtyBob> time to take out the trash and /clear

<DemonEater> "This is Pearl Jam.  This is Jesus.  This is
Pearl Jam on Jesus.  Please, say no to Creed"

<Guilty> You see
<Guilty> Fat ugly girls shouldnt be allowed to use ":)"
<Guilty> Their sign should be "=)000"

GameFreak7744: I could be Einstein.
GameFreak7744: E=MC... shit where is the squared key...

<Greenbox> the place i ordered chicken parmesan from forgot
the chicken
<Greenbox> so instead of calling and complaining, like a
normal person would
<Greenbox> I used asterisk and called them from the number of
the department of health
<Greenbox> and told them a random screening of their food had
just been conducted, and they failed miserably
<Greenbox> so they were ordered not to serve food until an
inspection later today

<D3adlode> I was a mistake you jackass
<Quasar> We all got birth certificates, d3 got an apology
letter from durex

<Esk> Quit XP bashing! It's a better OS than you'll ever make!
:D
<evilbob> I doubt I could construct a gremlin, but I'm not
about to start driving one.

<[VU]JackFrost> ok, explain this...  i make 10000 on
3dmark2001
<[VU]JackFrost> but i can't run half of my winamp visual
thingys at full screen without jerking
<Modman> lol
<[VU]JackFrost> without the screen jerking, that is

<PaNTs0r> people who cut themselves
<PaNTs0r> honest to god
<PaNTs0r> what is the point
<PaNTs0r> "oh god i'm so depressed *cut* OOWWWWWW!!!! NOW I'M
DEPRESSED AND IN PAIN!!!!!"

<@Efrael> Funny thing about hard drives: the bigger they are,
the more porn you download.
<@Efrael> After a while it seems that there was no upgrade at
all.

<VolteFace> heh, an idiot in my art class today tried to stab
someone with a pencil
<VolteFace> so he grabbed the guys arm
<VolteFace> and swings
<VolteFace> and PLUNGES THE PENCIL INTO HIS OWN FINGER

<syberghost> Ok, it's clear that I'm losing my mind; I had the
TV muted so it wouldn't interrupt our conversation.

<khjb007>i got a way to tell if your mind's dirty or not
<kpgongju226>aight
<khjb007>what's a four letter word, that describes a girl, and
ends in u-n-t?
<kpgongju226> cunt? wait. shit, that's dirty...
<khjb007>lol, its aunt you dumbarse...

<Synoptica> holy fuck
<Synoptica> i like
<Synoptica> almost swallowed an aaa battery
<Synoptica> (dont ask)

<HrdwrBoB> un.. what's rl?
<un> isn't that what happens when you type brb?
<HrdwrBoB> no that's when I get food

Helix04: we had a debate in lit today
Helix04: alec did our conclusion
Helix04: he ended by calling the entire opposing team
communists
Helix04: I don't think we won

<Eric> I feel bad when handshaking with PuTTY. It supports so
many features. "I can tell you what sort of client I am, would
you like to know?" "Nope." "Well, in that case, let me just
tell you my screen dimensions." "No thanks." "Do you... uh...
want to support environment variables? I got some variables."
"... no." "Well, I guess it's echo off and raw mode, then."

uiu j0sh69!#linuxbox is looking for a site that teaches you
how to steal cars and steal radios please msg me if your know,
it is for a good cause

<djcrom> TOMORROW IS MY BIRTHDAY
<djcrom> I ACCEPT VISA, MASTERCARD, AND WEED.

<outcaste> Mr Gates donated $38 million to aids research?>
<brian2> yeah, outcaste, he wants windows to be the only
deadly disease
affecting millions

<ChangWufei> it was well funny when we all went in a gay bar,
they all just stared at us
<ChangWufei> hehe
<loveya> u went in a gay bar???
<ChangWufei> yeah, we didnt realise at first
<astrotrain> what... that you were gay?

<redoz> it should be illegal to release games in the middle of
midterms

[00:45] [@{Defenderz}] WTF THE FUCK?

<BLaG> i wanna sleep naked
<BLaG> but i'm afraid my parents will come in and take
pictures of me and make a kiddy porn site on the internet

Brucha: I've heard a Kirk/Spock/Scotty slash done similarily. 
It haunts my nightmares, I don't need a wrestling equivalent
added.  :)  "The Vulcan emotion is strong and powerful...I, I
can't contain it all..."  "You get that thing away from him!"
Jim Smith: So, Kirk and Spock had an orgy and didn't invite
Bones?  I mean, who's gonna give you more gay sex
satisfaction?  A Scotsman?  Or a guy named "Bones"?
Brucha: Something like that...  Scotty stumbles upon them,
tries to break it up, and then falls to the passion...
Jim Smith: He's such a slut...
TangleToy: *wipes off screen*  I swear.  Why I bother trying
to drink anything while in here is beyond me.

<PACHUKA> i was watching the wizard of oz and all i could
think about was dorthy in 6 inch heels, completely shaved,
chained up and with nipple clamps
<mikey1207> LOL
<mikey1207> i will never watch that movie the same again
<Esttt> fuck, im eating breakfast you arsehole

<dan> what the hell is a ponzi scheme
<brian-w> where you go into a meeting with a leather jacket
and go 'Aaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyy!!!!'
<brian-w> and they give you money

<stray> i gotweed.net
<stray> im gonna gethigh.org
<drew-> havefun.com/youfuckingidiot

<ckx> and some guy offered me a blowjob
<ckx> and i was considering it for awhile

<Number6> Ducks have corkscrew shaped penises
* rsynnott hopes the people who made the Flintstones were
unaware of this

bug: why arent you sleeping now?
dj:i was having wet dreams so i came to see if you were online
=D
bug: errr..
dj: i was trying to be romantic......

<Danelope> "Nine people in total have had gene therapy at the
Necker Hospital, and seven of them are doing well."
<Danelope> The other two transformed into hideous demon-beasts
and began slaying the hospital staff.
<Danelope> And eating their brains.

--> Colt (~Colt@*********.*******.net) has joined #lobby
<Colt> ............................
<Colt> ...............
<Colt> .............
<Colt> .
<Alek> .......................
<Alek> ...........
<Alek> ..
<Colt> ...
<edisk> what is this, some kind of lame winamp visualization?

<baconbits> Hey, have any of you seen that AOL commercial
where the guys are getting food?
<baconbits> And the AOL guy is dumping chili and jello and
crap on the guy's sandwich saying that it's "Spam and viruses"
<baconbits> And then he's like "Which would you rather have,
Regular highspeed with viruses and spam, or highspeed internet
with AOL?
<baconbits> I got the best parody for that.
<baconbits> The guys are standing in line
<baconbits> Getting food.
<baconbits> And the Regular highspeed guy takes a crap on the
sandwich
<baconbits> And says "Which would you rather have, my regular
highspeed, or highspeed with AOL on it?