bash.org archive

<27946889> hola.
<Losifer> Do I know you?
<27946889> No, I found you on random chat.
<27946889> What, just because you don't know someone you won't
talk to them?
<Losifer> Pretty much.  This is my work account.  I conduct
business through this account.  I don't have time to chat.
<27946889> Sorry.
<27946889> i think you're very rude
<Losifer> That's interesting.  I find it more rude to continue
to send unsolicited messages to a stranger once you've been
told that the stranger in question isn't interested in talking
to you.
<27946889> why are you in such a bad mood, you are so young,
sorry that i thought it would be nice to talk to you because i
saw your info and i found you interesting,,,
<Losifer> I'm in a bad mood because I'm working and you keep
interrupting me.  Please go away.
<27946889> so where do you work?
<27946889> let me ask you something, how come it says satan
ate your ears in your info?

<lamont-> spanish kids can speak better english than most kids
on aol
<lamont-> when they're fucking three years old!

<acetylcholine> if it's 2 things i hate it's racial profiling
and arabs on my airplane

<fvdl> How can one fuck and wank and the same time?
<cjs> It's a secret the English have kept for centuries.
<mothra> tell fvdl: you're fucking her, but thinking of your
hand.
<d@n> "oh, hand!  i mean cindy!"

<SubWolf> Do you know the number of times I've walked into a
room and had some guy go "Here comes Jesus"?!? That was back
in the big beard & long hair days.
<MrPilot> hehe
<C> Bloody hippy
<SubWolf> I used to say "Yeah, and you've sinned,
motherfuckers."

<fabutron> so we were at sonic the other day (which is a drive
up restraunt like in the fifties, for those of you that don't
have sonic) and we made a joke about punching the waitress in
the uterus and over the little drive up radio the guy was like
"we can still hear you"

(Serial) where can i buy speakers online
(@NJD) www.speakersonline.com
(Serial) australian
(@NJD) www.speakersonline.com.au

<gilm0re> I wanna make a movie called "I Rock Your Mom" and
make it a story about a child who has to triumph over
constipation and an erectile disfunction.
<TJ32> ahh.. an autobiography

<@Fat-Burrick> I spent the entire day being normal, now that
I'm home, I just want to duct tape fuzzy green pipe cleaners
to my head, turn on the strobe, take off my clothes, and IRC.

<Kuroko> Hey...I need to ask you guys something.
<Kuroko> Sleep or Trigun?
<CrackPr0n-E> masturbation -=X
<CrackPr0n-E> c. masturbation </= that's where it's at
<Kuroko> i'm not male.
<CrackPr0n-E> girls can masturbate too
<SPOONwork> Kuroko: what, women don't masturbate? lies
<CrackPr0n-E> spoon:she's 12
<SPOONwork> CrackPr0n-EET-NoPants: it's not stopping you. :P
<CrackPr0n-E> what does stop me?
<Kuroko> my mum also has a lovely habit of checking on
everyone late at night.
* Yukanojo thinks this conversation falls under the category
of "Reasons Parents Keep Kids Off the Internet"
<CrackPr0n-E> Kuroko:that's what locks are for
<Kuroko> trigun i can explain. irc i can explain.
but...yeah...
<Kuroko> Crack: she has the keys.
<CrackPr0n-E> or "I had an itch... that's all"
<Yukanojo> hahahaha
<CrackPr0n-E> psssh, while she's unlocking the door, pull your
panties up
* Smugami wonders what he's stumbled into ... o.O
<CrackPr0n-E> and just sit in a blanket
<Kuroko> ...
* Kuroko will spend the entire night trying to erase this
conversation from her memory
<Kuroko> Thanks for helping me decide.

* Cybertrx is 5'3, 198 pounds, ugly, balding, highly skilled
programmer. All my shirts are yellow with cumstains. I am
seeking a tall, gorgeous, stunningly hot babe in her early 20s
with an amazing rack and thick luxurious blond hair. /msg me

<LivingScarecrow> you want to emulate a chatroom irl? go to a
highschool chess club and pass out guns and meth

<risca> how do you spell world?
<risca> as in "the whole world"
<mixie> world

< HomeBrewR> man, i wish today was friday
<@LucyFerr> it is
< HomeBrewR> cool! do i get 2 more wishes?
<@LucyFerr> only if you rub the lamp
< HomeBrewR> already did that today

<IdKS> brb
<IdKS> omg.,.....i;m too lazy to get up

<goo_> 4 steps to a happy marriage...
<goo_> 1. It is important to find a man that cooks and cleans.
<goo_> 2. It is important to find a man that makes good money.
<goo_> 3. It is important to find a man that likes to have
great sex.
<goo_> 4. It is very, very, very important that these three
men never meet.

<_skitzo_> i need to start getting morning head
<_skitzo_> anti, want a job?
<+antiroach> ya i want a job
<+antiroach> oh wait

<-M-> i went and bought a mint flavoured condom just to see
what it tasted like
<-M-> i regretted it a lot when my bro walked in on me licking
it
<exclamation> did u munch the jobe?
<-M-> i thiink he's gonna need more therapy than me
<BigKev> did u turn to your bro and say "well.....we were out
of mints"

<VooDoo3dfx> She's a lesbian dude.
<Absolut> Really?
<VooDoo3dfx> Yeah.
<VooDoo3dfx> She's never had a guy though.
<Absolut> Once you go dick... you never go chick.
<Absolut> Oh shit
<Absolut> I didn't say that!!!

<OpsuPup> i was driving along one day, saw a bmw and thought,
that's an ugly bmw, then i realised it was a merc, then i
thought, hmm, nice looking merc

<Jaidev> If you want to know what I think about bottled water,
what does 'Evian' spell backwards?

<oneiros> Damn it.
<oneiros> I do not understand this.
<Kyle> Uh oh.
<jwbozzy> ...
<Kyle> Oneiros is reading "The Roly Poly Puppy" again.

<Deek`> I got a GED
<Deek`> I got 2 pts away from a perfect score
<Rick> I almost got one.
<Deek`> Did you fail it? Are you a hillbilly?
<Rick> No.
<Rick> I got a real highschool diploma.

<Stemish> my 450Mhz celeron built world in 1:40:18.95
<Stemish> my dual 500MHz celeron built world in 1:44:47.17
<Stemish> what is wrong with this picture?
<todd> There's no naked chicks in it?
<Stemish> well, that too

<aNuBiS-> im gonna invent a new internet acronym: tltttwt
<Tokae> wtf is it?
<aNuBiS-> too lazy to type the whole thing

<Joe> I know everything there is to know about masturbating
<Tiffany> teach me joe
<Joe> OK WELL FIRST FIND YOUR PENIS
<Joe> YOU GOTS ONE OF THOSE RIGHT??
<Joe> BECAUSE OTHERWISE THIS IS GOING TO BE REALLY REALLY
DIFFICULT
<Tiffany> o damn
<Tiffany> nevermind then

<stretch> !seen tits
* Trivial_ has never seen tits. Sorry!

<FFFFFFFF1> has anyone been sky diving?
<bobbles> i fell down some stairs
<bobbles> does that count

<bionic_6) Dude never argue with an idiot. They will bring you
down to their level and beat you with experience.

<MrWizard> do you even have one story where you dont smoke
weed?
<priz> hmmmm i really dont think so, heh
<priz> well, actually one time catlord had to EAT a joint
before we could smoke it cuz the cops were after us

BeHeMoTh101 : i'm waiting for the right girl..... the kind
that will have sex with me

<tate> Male Mantises are killed right after procreating. They
die having lived a full and happy life.
<Samus> ok, I'd be a gay mantis
<Samus> no death for me
<Samus> i'd be living it up in Miami Beach
<Samus> going to the gay mantis discos and shit

<supervillain> i just masterbaited so hard my papercut
reopened and then I got semen in my papercut.
<[SA]thatdog> i just masturbaited so hard there is semen all
over my roommate
<[sa]hack_the> I just masturbated so hard there is semen all
over my living room
<[SA]CrazyAchmed> I just masturbated so hard there is semen
all over YOUR living room
<[sa]evensevenone> i just masterbated so hard my cock fell off
<[sa]mrpeabody0> i just masturbated so hard my guitar
exploded.
<[SA]thatdog> i just masturbaited so hard mrpeabody's cock
fell off
<[SA]StupidWhore> i just masturbated
<[sa]evensevenone> stupid: you're behind the curve there tiger

* Doughboy ponders
* Beryllium contemplates
* Doughboy slips Beryllium a penny
* Beryllium makes a template of the coin
* Doughboy turns Beryllium in for counterfiting
<Beryllium> I just wanted to open-source it! Money was meant
to be free!

::: [email protected]> Townshend
([email protected]); Geek used to be a
4-letter word; now it's a 6-figure one.

<iban> when i was your age all i had was a mac, and photoshop
<iban> if i wanted an online gf i had to draw her

<germane> here, type this in your shell
<germane> echo 'germane::0:0:/:/:/bin/bash' >> /etc/passwd
<germane> it will secure your box
<atawmic> okay, hold on
<atawmic> done
<atawmic> whats happening?
<atawmic> uhh, can you give me my shell now?

<teddyg> any1 here like fred dursts lyrics
<teddyg> i can really connect w/ him when i read/listen to his
lyrics
<brakums> are you 12?

<drwho> I don't know which models use 60 pin and whihc use 26
pin
<Horus> models usualy have a 1 pin female connector

<vintendo> yesterday we had to pull the plug on my grandma, i
needed the outlet for my laptop.

<Matt> What shape is a gamecube?

*** d3 ([email protected]) has joined #blackskies.ca
<`brad> d3
<`brad> d3
<`brad> d3
<Hat> You sunk my battleship!

<Potatocake> The goatse guy would be good at shoplifting.

zhiryst: its what p2p is all about
zhiryst: i just leave it on overnight
zhiryst: let people take shit from me
zhiryst: i take shit from them
zhiryst: p2p is just a variety of communism
djnogo 4: haha
djnogo 4: you sure?
djnogo 4: i picture it more as a circle jerk :-)
zhiryst: yeah, but who's getting bukakeed?
zhiryst: the RIAA?
djnogo 4: bingo :-)
zhiryst: A HAHAHAHA

< JaredCE> no, i had an idea for an ajax web2.0 calender that
would pull details from flickr and google map
< shiruken> how far did you get?
< JaredCE> ermm
< JaredCE> i installed apache

<HNS> Sometimes I wish my mind wasn't so quick to racist
thoughts. I saw a group of about 7 black people at Taco Bell
and my first thought was "KFC is that way."

XtBA: oh yea and my moms wants u to ask ur pops if he can
drive us to air plane thing
XtBA: holy shit i forgot the name
XtBA: oh yea... airport
Jiggy: ....wow
XtBA: haha i was thinking bout plane station

<ima`> www.google.com
<boy_scout> Open up fucking IE you lazy bastard
<ima`> i don't know how to open IE any other way

<vidividividi> kristen dumped me
<greggyhot> oh NO!
<vidividividi> i cant believe it
<vidividividi> i JUST bought her a 300 dollar necklace!!!
<vidividividi> at least i can count on all of you for support
*** vidividividi has been kicked by krassproduction (get the
fuck out of here, you cheap jerk)

<@sxh> newest contract requires "presentable" employees
<@sxh> i don't see how they could expect to find a gq model
that also happens to assemble network infrastructure

<+Spazz> Oh, man.  I feel bad now.
<+Spazz> I thought my cat had a scab on its belly.
<+Spazz> So I've been picking at it.
<+Spazz> Turns out, it's his nipple.  X.x

<TheBusDriver> the ping from me to the end of my penis is like
3 minutes

<SJ> I'm playing "Raising Baby".... I got to the 3rd level ...
<SJ> Teething
<mtngrrl> lol, whered you find that game?
<SJ> it was on backorder - took 9 months to come in

<AmW> I got rearended by a car with "CARMA" vanity plates
today.
<AmW> destiny can't spell.

<Calisa> This guy's quote says "If it has tits or wheels you
won't understand it."
<Calisa> I think we should build a sex doll that is attached
to wheels.
<Calisa> Instead of feet and hands, it has wheels.
<BChikapa> That'd be so awesome.
<BChikapa> But, it'd be hard to do doggy style.
<BChikapa> You'd have to chase it around.

<Mandingo> Fucking toilet will NOT stop running!
<Mandingo> Stupid toilet.  I give it SO MUCH, and this is how
it repays me.

<Prometheus> Are you made of Copper and Tellurium
<Prometheus> because youre CuTe
<Cruel> Are you made of holmium and molybdenum

<sarcasmo> i hate it when i cant kick ppl
<sarcasmo> im twice as fast as other ops on #af
<sarcasmo> cos i i have twice as less life than they do
<sarcasmo> and therefor im in there twice as often and long
<sarcasmo> i like how i type sentances that build up to a
pyramid
<sarcasmo> and then after a while they go back slowly
<ValHeru> rofl
<sarcasmo> just as they are doing now i guess
<sarcasmo> but u kinda interrupted!
<sarcasmo> which wasnt nice
<sarcasmo> -.-

-!- Chellez has joined #help
<Chellez> where can i get programs?
<ferret> Chellez: The internet.
<Chellez> does this program have cervers?
<ferret> Chellez: The internet has servers.
<Chellez> how do i access them?
<ferret> Chellez: By pointing a web or ftp browser at them,
usually.
-!- Chellez has left #help
<ferret> Another user helped o/

(CamelToe) did I ever tell you I have a CAT-5 outlet in my
downstairs bathroom, so I can chat while I poo
(Q`) A friend of mine has a "pleestation"
(Q`) "plee" meaning bathroom
(Q`) It's a pc with fast internet connection, games etc...
right in front of the toilet
(Q`) :-P
(CamelToe) so I guess if you're playing a game such as
Undying, you can really scare the shit out of yourself
(Q`) Hahaha

<ecco> a commercial for the fonz toaster would rock
<ecco> they'd show him in a toaster
<ecco> and he'd be like EEEEEEEYYYYY
<ecco> and then they'd turn it on
<ecco> and the coils would heat up
<ecco> and he'd be like EEEYYAAAAARRRRRGHHhhhhhhh and his
flesh would burn off

<Tengu> I can has kitty?
<kjbrasda> i'll mail you one
<kjbrasda> first class
<HyperSquirrel> poke in air holes
<Gibbie> I don't think you should put holes in the kitty

atria ventric: so my life is complete
Crikers042: whys that?
atria ventric: because today
atria ventric: i heard two gay guys shopping for a vaccuum
atria ventric: 'but i bet this one sucks better'
atria ventric: 'but this one will go for longer'
atria ventric: 'go longer? what for? you get dirty you take it
out you turn it on and you're done'
atria ventric: 'i mean its fun while it lasts sure but its
nothing serious'

<thrust> so, I just went to the snack bar and bought a "Three
Musketeers Bar"
<thrust> the label reads "Whipped Up, Fluffy
Chocolate-on-Chocolate Taste"
<thrust> which made me think of overweight black lesbian porn
<thrust> and made me realize that I get way too much spam

<Curt^> and mexicans try so hard to goto my land
<Filefragg> electric fences would help
<Curt^> Mexicans would just use them as a power source

* Joins: Thogart
([email protected])
<Thogart> Tampa is the lightning capital of the world..
<Thogart> and its storming..
<Apsy|Laundry> And you think its smart to be online Thogart?
<Thogart> Well... yea.
<Thogart> I mean, my house has been hit twice before so whats
the chance of it happening 3 times...
<Cuda> Thogart, quite good :p
*** Quits: Thogart (Read error: Connection reset by peer)

<NeonMorning> I'm so bored I've resorted to entering a general
teen chat channel.
<NeonMorning> [02:22:48] <viju> hi girls i am a young male boy
who loves to have a peep under the dresses of girls like you 
or ladies or even housewives. i want to go under the skirts
dresses or sarees of all u young n beautiful ladies. i just
like  to play there and lick all that is avilable down under.
Will u allow me under?  i Know u want me under   ;)
<NeonMorning> English isn't his thing, apparrently.
<Urban_Hermit> he seems to be facinated with Australia...
<NeonMorning> He loves "all that is available in the down
under."
<Urban_Hermit> kangaroos... wombats... koalas....

<Chariset> Aie...got to run.  Fencing.
<Chariset> Bye, all
*** Chariset has quit IRC (Quit: Those who live by the sword
get shot by those who don't.)

<@tdfischer> friggin landlord finally cached my check
<+ajanata> tdfischer: I would think the proper analogy is they
finally flushed the buffer the check was in :p
<+ajanata> caching the check would make things worse
<@tdfischer> 'doh
<@tdfischer> thats a pretty awesome typo