bash.org archive

<lewney> I'm allergic to porn, it makes my dick swell.

<berly> *puh*  You can call me anything you want!
<Joshua> aww... i'll try not to abuse that, sex-kitten
<Joshua> i like that sentence better without punctuation...

(BrntToast) zeon_64: i chat with ppl in austrlia and they are
a day ahead of us, i keep askin em to watch the 649 draw and
tell me the numbers but they say it dont work that way :(

(+SnowWork) note from the tragically wiser. when running a
computer lab for a middle school. do _NOT_ allow a naiive
teacher to instruct students to type "zoo pictures" into a
search engine :|
(+SnowWork) yes folks, it happened to me...
(+SnowWork) actually, after the first frantic dash to haul the
network cable out of the ISDN modem, I laughed my ass off ;)

<ViRuS[afk]> you guys ever get that feeling while youre having
a piss, and you think "if I was asleep right now, and this was
a dream, I'd be wetting myself", and think you might be
dreaming and freak out?
<ViRuS[afk]> cmon nobody has ever had that feeling?
<ViRuS[afk]> jesus christ I just made a dick of myself, didnt
I? :

<@Patilla> hacking is cool
<@Patilla> i saw it done once in a movie

<H> Women are like fish in the sea, man.
<Krim> Tasty when cooked?
<Krim> Best with a hook in the mouth?
<H> ...

<Al> arabs can't spell so we have to spell for them
<Al> that's why it's "Koran"
<Kurt> short for Korean
<Lloyddy> i thought ^_^ was short for korean
<jre> No, kek is
<Alien> huk of the ke
<Lloyddy> so is keke short for a jolly korean?
<jre> A kek is one unit of kekeke
<jre> THis throws people because of the extra letter
<Alien> keks bind together via k-ration-synthesis, where each
unit sheds one k to form a long chain of kekekeks
<Kurt> FREAKIN NERD
<Alien> They're what we in the business call kekides
*Kurt spanks Alien with moon rocks
<jre> The extra Ks then bind to form the atmosphere of the
Zerg homeworld
<jre> Koreans are to the Zerg homeworld what trees are to
Earth
<jre> Coincidentally enough, when Zergs respirate, they take
in Ks and breathe out chop suey
<Alien> When the polykekide chain is broken the free ks are
broken to be used for klysis, rendering the Zerg atmosphere a
vacuum.
<jre> LIAR

<[]qube> Plz, someone tell me where i can download GEFORCE 4,
i need it, i got so low fps in cs =( /msg me FAST!!!!!!!

SignorMartinelli: how is the weather?
vacapalida: Dunno. I'm in a room with no windows.
vacapalida: My widget says it's 84 and sunny.
vacapalida: ...trust the widget...

* Fry plays with his dead baby hand puppets.
<Fry> "I'm Dead."..."Me Too"

psxfaQ: <-- eating spam
e l i t e  m r p: id do that but it wastes too much printer
paper

<Techbert> What does 'goatse' mean, anyway?

<Benjula> Dude, I thought of the best name for a Christian rap
CD ever
<Benjula> The RhapCD

<zed> I LIKE BREAD AND BUTTER I LIKE TOAST AND JAM SOMETHING
SOMETHING SOMETHING SOMETHING AND THATS WHY I LIKE CRACK
<zed> IIIII LOVE CRACK
<zed> FROM MY HEAD DOWN TO MY BACK
<zed> ALMOST AS MUCH AS IIIIIII LOVE EGGS
<zed> FROM MY HEAD DOWN TO MY LEGS
<zed> BUT I DONT REALLY LOVE EGGS
<zed> WELL, I LOVE THEM, BUT IN THE WAY A MAN WOULD LOVE A
FINE CUBAN CIGAR
<Nelson> zed; wtf song is that?
<zed> Nelson, IT'S EGG PROPAGANDA MUSIC

<Gussy> Does anyone here know much about exercise?
<fs`> is that an emu?

<Vile-> i need to take a shit
<Vile-> im going to go in my cats litter box
<Vile-> and my mom will go up stairs
<Vile-> and see a huge long shit in the litter box
<Vile-> and be like wtf

<Mangusta> it's so quiet.... I could download the sound of a
pin dropping

<@blaxthos> let me tell you what
<rambo_> what is what?
<@blaxthos> there were these two israeli bitches in my club
tonight
<@blaxthos> that were fucking insane hot
<rambo_> jews are hot.
<@blaxthos> these jews were exceptionally hot
<rambo_> fresh from the oven hot?

[Shinji] I think he threatened to kill me actually, although
it was so badly spelt that I wasn't sure if it was a death
threat or a request to see if I wanted another cappuchino

< derrida> my autocmd might raise a few eyebrows =)
< scrooloose> given the amount of vim fetishism in here it may
raise more than that

* {JPM} holds up his sugary bowl of cherrios and smiles like
he's a 15 year old girl who lost her virginty and dosent know
she's pregnant yet

<wildkarrdex> I ALWAYS THOUGHT A GREAT WAY TO KILL YOURSELF
<wildkarrdex> WOULD BE TO RUN INTO A CROWDED ROOM
<wildkarrdex> SCREAM "I'M HIV POSITIVE"
<wildkarrdex> THEN SHOOT YOURSELF IN THE HEAD WITH A SHOTGUN

Narbus clicks his heels
Narbus clicks his heels
Narbus clicks his heels
Narbus has quit IRC (QUIT: User exited)

<|TripleH|> so.. where are all the bitches who wanna make me
somethin to eat.=P
<epoch--> |TripleH|: they are having a meeting with all the
bitches that want to sleep with you
<Elmyra> so far, the room is empty..
<lenoreo> all those folded chairs for nothing...
<Elmyra> but we're still hopeful that SOMEONE will show up. ..
<epoch--> or SOMETHING

<TxT> hahahhahahahahaha i read that bash quote where the guy
renamed mirc.exe the .doc he needed to turn in
<TxT> so i did it with my paper, i get an email today from my
teacher "Sorry, I opened your document and it seemed
corrupted. Do you know what happened? If not, just resubmit
your essay."
<TxT> and i sent him my now finished essay this morning and
got a reply just now, "Thank you. This version seems to be
working just fine."
<TxT> ty bash!
<+hydeph> hmm didnt you say a while ago that your teacher
reads bash?
<TxT> ...
<TxT> dude thats not fucking cool
<+hydeph> its ok, tyler norris.
<TxT> ...
<TxT> shit.

<+Rustblade> I'm so angry!!
<+Rustblade> fucking computer
<+Rustblade> I'm gonna kick it
* +Rustblade kicks his computer *
Quits: Rustblade ([email protected]) (Remote
host closed the connection)

<aon> i wonder if visual basic runs on wine
<number-g> pervert.

<Ross> What are they naming the bastard child?
<Tiffany> she wants to call the baby Rochel if it's a girl
<Ross> hooker name
<Tiffany> and they will probably name it Vampire Hunter D if
it's a boy
<Ross> I'd name my kid something totally badass, regardless of
the sex
<Ross> Like
<Ross> Tyranocore
<Ross> Or Vader

<undrewb> I'm gonna make my thesis opensource so developers
all round the world can work on it for me

|cmf> using semantics to mask the problems of our world is
only putting a bandaid on a bullet wound
|pedXing> yeah
|pedXing> but
|pedXing> it's a fuzzy bandaid, with cartoon characters on it.
|pedXing> which is really better than nothing.
|cmf> it sure is

<Cereal_Killer> Dude you may have been pissed, buy thats no
reason to knock your sister up.
<Joeytgstk> You're just jealous because you're an only child

<gloom^exs> finnish sounds like two alphabets went to nuclear
war and the fallout mutated it into something seriously fucked
up with lots of i's and e's.

<Illogical> It is true of all Christian pop songs, that they
are simply pop songs that have the word 'baby' replaced with
'Jesus.'
<Illogical> For example, "My loneliness is killing me, (and I)
I must confess, I still believe (still believe). When I'm not
with you I lose my mind, give me a sign... Hit me Jesus, one
more time."
<Illogical> Or, "Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, when all your love is
gone, who will save me from all I'm up against out in this
world?"
<bec> what about something from this year?
<Illogical> "Tell me Jesus, what's your story? Where you come
from, and where you wanna go this time?"
<Illogical> I rest my case.

<Dracon> I saw a mormon crash his bike into a power pole
<Dracon> that was grand :D
<NaKeD> LOL
<html> heHaHehAHehAeh :D
<Dracon> I walked past and said "Not even God saw that one
coming... well done tiger!"

<TimMm> (_/)
<TimMm> (='.')
<TimMm> (")-(")
<rhythm> shoot it
<rhythm> shoot it now

<rioter> i heard a car accident last night
<rioter> and laughed
<rioter> then my mum knocked on my door and was like your
sister had  car acident out side your door and you didnt come
out
<rioter> and i laughed even harder

<earmuff-man> Yeah the last plane out of Sydney's almost gone
<earmuff-man> And it's really got me worried
<earmuff-man> I'm goin' nowhere and I'm in a hurry
<earmuff-man> And the last plane out of Sydney's almost gone
<spinifex> earmuff man can i be an op?
<spinifex> just for tonight?
<earmuff-man> ok 
<spinifex> 
* earmuff-man sets mode: +o spinifex
* ChanServ sets mode: +l 12
<earmuff-man> Well the last plane out of Sydney's almost gone
* earmuff-man was kicked by spinifex (quit your singing bitch)
<spinifex> bahahahhhaa

* Magellan_ narrows his eyes at greylark
<Greylark> why me?
<Magellan_> because you started it
<Greylark> i didn't say anything about your imaginary
girlfriend
<Magellan_> SHES NOT IMAGINARY!

chrismat: Oki offtopic question. If a laptop bluescreens
during first install, and then when you are using it what is
the cause?
DBuzz: windows

*** Gambit32 has changed the topic on channel #havok to:
Masturbation: If
brute force doesnt work, use a bigger hammer.
<syx> eeeeek

<zamros> WHEN I WAS LIKE SEVEN I SAW A CAR GET RUN OVER BY A
CAR
<zamros> MY FIRST CAR ACCIDENT WITNESSING
<zamros> AND/OR MONSTER TRUCK RALLY

<jessepence> :-d
<jessepence> look I can lick my nose

<DigDug> <nowakow> does anyone want to teach a horny female to
masturbate to orgasm?
<DigDug> Approve Kill Nothing
<orion> kill;
<jestuh> kill
<jestuh> if she's horny she knows what to do

<mark_007> i was peeing before and i hear this shuffling
outside the door, so i lift my leg and kick the door as hard
as i can
<mark_007> and like i hear this bump, and an "OWW", so i
really quickly finish up and open the door
<mark_007> my little brother's lying on the ground holding his
head and writhing in pain
<mark_007> HE WAS LISTENING TO ME PEEING

<PsychoStreak> Now you can get that 8 ball glass eye you've
been wanting.
<ircDaemon> then I can shake my head and people can read my
condescending answer without me even saying anything!

<@LZ|5133p> gonna have to rebuild my fish tank tomorrow
<@LZ|5133p> getting a new filter
<@LZ|5133p> and fish
<+Toba> pkg_delete fish-tank-1.0.23b
<+Toba> cd /usr/ports/fish/fish-tank-1.2.43c
<+Toba> make all install clean -WITH_FILTER -WITH_FISH

<dave> so i was driving.. too fast
<dave> some female officer took me off the road
<dave> so i asked "how much?"
<dave> she: 40 bucks
<dave> me: alright, get in

<Xta-C> what's a working efnet server?
<Lord-Data> an oxymoron?

--> guest ([email protected]) has joined #lgl
* guest ´ó½Ð£º¾ÈÃü°¡£¡ ¾ÈÃü°¡£¡
<khalek> you seem to be a little mixed up
<khalek> this is not #perl

<BobTheGoat> Sorry I can't talk cause I gotta be up by $rand
(5-8):00 tomorrow
<BobTheGoat> damn

<Kitsa> in retrospect, redheads shouldn't wear catholic-school
uniforms to places where there are going to be a lot of drunk
men

<Laemtao> Girls are like Wolfenstein 3D.
<Shatai> How so?
<Laemtao> If you get far enough, you have to fight Hitler
himself.

Kirby: So like this one time I was fucking this dude in the
ass and then I threw up on his back.
ZAn3Yt: I didn't now you were gay Kirby...
katchup: He isn't, that was a shakespeare quote.

* Lemming hands out glasses full of an unidentifiable liquid.
<Lemming> beba la sandwich!
<red_cactus> you blended a sammich?
<red_cactus> *blenderd
<red_cactus> *blendered
<red_cactus> *put a sammich in a blender

<rogers> hahah
<guyen> roger: i love you man
<guyen> and by "love" i mean that special "stab you in the
face and shit down your throat" love
<rogers> i love you too man

<T_hibiki_> you catch your lady in bed with another man what
do you do ?
<sparatik> tell him she has an STD

cthulhudream: come on Ben theres gotta be something we can do
||AB|| Benzin: alright I got an idea
||AB|| Benzin: I'm gonna need a pound of rohypnol, a keg, and
directions to the nearest sorority house
||AB|| Benzin: and an alibi
||AB|| Benzin: cause they'll trace that shit when 30 girls
don't remember what happened or why their pregnant, and all
that
cthulhudream: I kinda wanna make larping weapons
||AB|| Benzin: and on the other end of the spectrum...

***Shark has logged in
Shark: >_>
***Shark has logged out
Mystic: omg the shifty-eye hit and run

( Judge`ZzzZ) fmita Khorne-
( Khorne-   ) fmita?
( Khorne-   ) whats fmita short for? =)
( Khorne-   ) "fuck me in the ass?" .p
( Judge`ZzzZ) looks like it
( Fuzzy     ) you say it that often you need an acronym for
it?

Montehall: eh 9 inches less and I would have a scar
TwitchOSX: lol
TwitchOSX: uh huh
HomeBrewR: 9" less and you'd have a 7" deep pussy

<Nago> JESUS IS A COOL GUY! I BET HE LIKED PORNO!
<Pete> I bet he liked bondage
<Pete> took it too seriousley one day though....

<Eggo> invent a new kind of tolet paper, reusible or edible

<kisama_> THANK YOU WIGGLY
<kisama_> I <3 YOU
<Swish> you "less than three" him?
<kisama_> please.
<kisama_> it's an emoticon...turn your head sideways kthx
<kisama_> i thought you were hardcore.
<Swish> apparently not that hardcore.
<Swish> but I guess it depends if you're left or right handed.
<kisama_> well E> is flat
<Swish> it could be a mean, hateful face with evil eyebrows...
<Swish> or it could be some broken-assed glasses with a
mischevous smirk.
<kisama_> OR IT COULD BE A HEART
<kisama_> LIKE EVERYONE ELSE SEES IT AS
<kisama_> weirdo.

<Procyon> I don't know the world around me!
<Procyon> I'm scared, and confused!
<DS> have you felt a strong desire to vote for george w. bush
recently?

Lord Kagemaro: Want a PS3?
IDLon2000: No
Lord Kagemaro: :/
Lord Kagemaro: I'm bored with mine

<Merlin3> It was my grandmother's dying wish that I receive
some dave matthews bootlegs... if you have any mp3ed (not from
the 4 CDs) please msg me or just go and DCC it to me... thank
you for your concern. with everyone's help, I think I will be
able to make it through these difficult times.

<Marco> stfu, i'm doing an IQ test on the net
<Paranoua> if you want somethin positive do a HIV-test

Join: Mr_Shroom ([email protected]!)
<Mr_Shroom> Good gracious.
<Mr_Shroom> My ass is bodacious.
<Mr_Shroom> I had no idea!
<Mr_Shroom> Why was I not informed of my spanktacular
backside?
<Mr_Shroom> Eh?
<Mr_Shroom> ...
<Mr_Shroom> Don't make me lay waste to your cities!
<Mr_Shroom> Fiiine.
<Mr_Shroom> You big babies.
Part: Mr_Shroom ([email protected])
<Coan_Arcanius> he's right, he did look good leaving