bash.org archive

<[email protected]> I'm stupid? You probably
don't even know how to program a DEC or in UNIX. Now that's
stupid. I am running UNIX!

<deimos> someone asked me some ungodly complex question in an
interview once
<deimos> it took him 5 minutes to explain it
<rwhom> did you get it right?
<deimos> and then they looked at me
<deimos> and wanted a single part answer
<deimos> so i thought for a second
<cj_> <deimos> and i said, "potatoe".  i didn't get the job.

{ava}> A WORM
<{ava}> JUST
<{ava}> CRAWLED OUT OF MY DOGS ASS AND LANDED ON ME
<_enzo> o m f g
* {ava} dies.

<Kraide> Wow, that line you used was repetitive and redundant.
<Jer1400> That's was ironically ironical!

<schnorks> One time I used a sock as a glove.
<Rivorus> One time i used a glove for a condom.
<schnorks> ...
<Rivorus> okay... five times

<NeonMorning> I'm scared I'm going to say something random and
sound really stupid.
<Urban_Hermit> be like me - always say something stupid and it
never appears random

<Habz> you can download the human genome tommorow http://
www.newscientist.com/news/news.jsp?id=ns99993621
<ArmaDuck> and what the hell will i do with it?
<bargeld> compile the source

<Thel> "You have just recieved the Amish Computer Virus. Since
the Amish don't have computers, it is based on the honor
system. Please delete all the files from your computer. Thank
you for your cooperation."
* SephirothTheOneWingedAngel ([email protected]) Quit
(gryphon.magicstar.net starship.magicstar.net)
* SporkBad ([email protected]) Quit
(gryphon.magicstar.net starship.magicstar.net)
* Sir_Spankspeople ([email protected] Quit
(gryphon.magicstar.net starship.magicstar.net)
* Ace|werk ([email protected]) Quit
(gryphon.magicstar.net starship.magicstar.net)

<Sabrejack> everything is generalized

<infamous>my old man always said, the day I cant do my job
drunk is the day I turn in my badge and gun...

<rageatm0> I'm in trouble. I'm losing my taste for ramen and
it's 4 years before college

<drdink> what are c31487-a and cc31487-a?
<drwiii> they are numbers, accompanied by letters and dashes.

SnatchFace: I stumbled into the bathroom this morning after
being up half the night with stomach pain and grabbed the
wrong tube out of the cabinet in my stupor. I brushed for a
half minute with Anusol HC when it slowly seeped into my
addled brain that somethign was not quite right. I have been
barfing ever since. Am I dying?
Rouge: Perhaps you should change your name to Assface.
Blazert40: I'll give you 32 mins to live.
vi-edit: Going by your screenname, at least it wasn't Vagisil.

<MisT[w]> guy just walks in and asks me " i bought windows xp
64 and it only shows 16bit and 32bit color but no 64bit ..."
<MisT[w]> o.O;;

MrLauritson: I have concluded that M$ are a bunch of dirty
bastards.
Kestral: Why's that?
MrLauritson: Basically I was talking to one of my female
friends on MSN this morning.
MrLauritson: And she said "Well, it's Sunday so I'm going to
go have a bath before starting one of those wonderful essays
which I love writing so much xD"
MrLauritson: Literally JUST as she says that, I get a message
at the top of the screen telling me that we both have webcams
and can have a video conversation o.O

<|VenoMtv|> my dad called me up to wish me a happy birthday
<|VenoMtv|> he said, happy 22 birthday, and i replied, dad,
i'm 23
<|VenoMtv|> and he said, but i thought u started to drink last
year
<|VenoMtv|> i said, no, i started in high school =x

<tinks> besides, the more i have in savings, the more i can
put into my 401k every month
<tinks> yeayyyyy 401k
<brat> Doesn't 401k come out of your paycheck, not savings?
<grue> heh, they should havae called the savings accounts at
Enron the 404k
<grue> savings not found

<CoryS> You know it's a bad sign when you call ISP support to
change some dns servers around and they ask if the ip address
you just gave them was a phone number or IP address.

<Uki> i don't feel much different, this whole being 21 thing
<Aphelion_> in that case, you did it wrong. go back and try
again, this time with more vodka.

<Arky> im a repeat stupid
<Arky> haha funnily enough..i didn't mean to type stupid :/ i
meant to type student...i guess we can see why im repeating
now can't we....

<CelestialFool> You know, cheetos are actually really good,
you just can't stop muching on these things. Ive had about 2
bags worth already
<CelestialFool> Oh shit, diahrrea
<Kamiru> Dangerously cheesy indeed

<ouija> I asked for extra death peppers
<treaps> my chinese place puts about a ratio of one pepper per
chunk of meat
<treaps> \m/
<ouija> Thats a good ratio
<treaps> general tso is pussy though
<ouija> Mine is like "You crazy American! You no handle
Chinese doom peppers!"
<treaps> WHAT U TINK?
<treaps> U WAN FUCKING DIE?

<Mifuyne> how old is your iBook anyway?
<+indigo> 4 years.
<+indigo> :-P
<Mifuyne> ah
<~Delta> jeez
<~Delta> that thing was made before the war

(topanga) I HATE HAVING COMPUTER DREAMS.

<@GM`> My god damn script is disobeying me.
<@GM`> It's like I programmed a woman >:(

Skyraider: you might be surprised how black clouds can be :)
MrPumpernickel: rgb: 0,0,0?

<Y\N> irc is just a google frontend with more insults

<CommanderStab> Man, all of these supposed "free PHP hosting"
sites and not one of them is any good >_<
<CommanderStab> WTF?
<Riku> o.o
<CommanderStab> Hungarian?!
<CommanderStab> These guys actually have INTERNET?!
<CommanderStab> Man, I can't read this shit >_<
<CommanderStab> I have the greatest idea for a site
<CommanderStab> Say that we ofer 1000mb of fre PHP hosting
<CommanderStab> Then when they submit their information we
keep their password and username and don't give them a site
<CommanderStab> Then we build a massive database of usernames
and poasswords
<CommanderStab> Then we create a program to goes to every site
on the itnernet that requires a password and get it to try all
of the user/passes we have on every site
<CommanderStab> Then we blackmail the people because no doubt
some of the sites are like sick porn sites and we'll have
their email addresses
<CommanderStab> And we use the money that we get out of the
blackmail to actually BUY some decent hosting
<CommanderStab> So I don't have to keep looking through all
this shit

<Beelzebub> Necrophilia isn't rape, it's recycling

(+Kazimierz) Groundhog Day is on TV so much it's as if the
film's really happening

<DarkMyst> Where do Babies come from? The woman or the man????
<OlEnglish> the stork
<OlEnglish> but who fucks the stork?
<DarkMyst> good question

<pengwuan> at least ian curtis died doing what he loved
<whitcomb> killing himself?
<pengwuan> precisely

P][s7: Jez and I get in line for the bathroom, and every guy
in line immediately pushes her to the front. She asks why, and
they say, "Because you actually have to go." The door opens
and three guys come out of the one-room bathroom together. The
last one stops, says, "Oh wait, I have to pee," and heads back
into the bathroom.

<Bob_Haut> Don't call them Broads
<Bob_Haut> Bitches HATE that!

<SoberIRL> my gf is getting her tongue pierced soon :D
<Drewtetz> you can finally find out what it'll be like to have
a rod and two balls in your mouth!

<wicked> They are playing multiplayer in GTA SA
***FatCat has joined the room (#hih)
<wicked> my brother is a stripper and his tits are hanging out
<FatCat> older or younger?

<vartopia> you're not an alcoholic til you're drinking nail
polish and listerine
<vartopia> that you shoplifted

<Calisa> When I was little I always wanted little people that
could fit in the palm of my hand.
<JPGumby> they are called 'employees'

<skrike:#916> Ill prolly just go into work next week and kill
everyone
<pozer:#916> skrike: I do that all the time.
<pozer:#916> We're hiring, by the way!

<rapty> I'm doing homowork. :(
<rapty> Err. homework.
<BLiZZ> ROFL.
<rapty> It was a typo. Seriously.

<JosephSpiros> just got Cable  Modem
<JosephSpiros> I'm going a bit insane
<JosephSpiros> OMG
<JosephSpiros> CABLE MDOEM MEANS
<JosephSpiros> I CAN WAKE UP AT ANY TIME
<JosephSpiros> AND JUST BE ONLINE
<JosephSpiros> :D:D:D
<RangerRick> haha
<RangerRick> and more importantly... now your porn can MOVE!
<JosephSpiros> I KNOW!

<knox> i used to use zippers but my foreskin got stick in it
<knox> i went to velcro and had some pubic hair problems
<knox> now i just wear dresses

<MadHatter> I just got this spam:
<MadHatter> READY TO BREAK YOUR
<MadHatter> NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS??
<MadHatter> "I'm not gonna look at HARDCORE PORN anymore."
<MadHatter> "I won't GAMBLE ONLINE anymore."
<MadHatter> "I'm gonna JUST SAY NO."

Silent Scream098: its cold in my house
Silent Scream098: burrrr
Silent Scream098: maybe i shoud close the window and turn the
ac off
Silent Scream098: and not walk around naked while holding ice
cubes between my buttcheeks

<nickee> how can i se the size on layers in photoshop ??
<Unhold> ctrl+acn return ctrl+v alt+ii
<Unhold> common shortcut
<nickee> huh o_O
<Unhold> yeah, sometimes i think photoshop evolved from emacs

(moimau) my net would make your net reverse compile itself,
tar.gz itself
(moimau) and upload it back to the server it came from.
(moimau) so sit down.

<Villager> i was really pissed off this morning
<Villager> it was about 9am, i had a free period and i had
just bought my breakfast; an egg, bacon & sausage bap, hash
browns and a coffee,
<Villager> when the damned fire alarm goes before i've taken a
bite
<Joshua> ...
<Joshua> you left the building just because an alarm went off?
<Joshua> with FOOD waiting for you?
<Villager> i put the hash browns in my pocket and carried the
bap, but they all got cold
<Villager> i was going to stay but the security guards came
round
<Joshua> oh
<Joshua> we don't have security guards just for fire alarms
<Joshua> "ya stay, ya burn" is the official policy i beleive

<crist0bal> rhino
<crist0bal> make me an op
<ryano> what are the ingredients

<cheezychops> GOD I SLEEP ONE WORK WRONG AND YOU GO INSANE
<cheezychops> er
<cheezychops> SPELL*  WORD*

<doobedoobedoo> Arlaswecryfhrljarufvvutuutwdd
<doobedoobedoo> You know what's funny?
<doobedoobedoo> That's probably a word in welsh.

[bytraper] they are my family.... I love them like they were
my own, I couldn't part with them for less than $20

<BadlandZ> So, what's new, where are the bots?
<Sprout> they are eating lunch
<BadlandZ> heh.. together?
<Sprout> do you ever see bots eating with people?

FFVI: I once told a friend to shoot me if I ever passed 3000
posts on AT. Total Posts Made - 8000...wow :/ 
arctic pirate: you once had a friend?
FFVI: One. But then his parents got a restraining order when I
showed up for his kindergarten graduation.

<Lac> Whats so unfathomable of: Double click zip file, hit
extract, click the C: Drive, hit ok.
<hmne> Slow down, double what?

<Popgun> at least 24 people have died in a fire in a chinese
internet cafe
<Kuss> popgun, they were probably playing everquest, and
didn't want to lose their shit
<Argent-> Popgun - how many terminals were pointed to the
local fire department website?
<Popgun> they clicked onto elexa and self-immolated
<Popgun> if that were the case, they would probably welcome
the conflagration
<Argent-> "De-ah hon-oh-ra-bo fiahman, we buhning up heah,
prease send wa-tah, we no wanto stop praying evahquest."
<Kuss> oh my god
<Kuss> argent
<Kuss> that's hysterical
<Argent-> More negatives on my karmic burden.
<ln> I'd be offended by that if it weren't so funny
* ln gives Arg a token asian smack
<Popgun> they ghost of Chairman Mao will get you, argento
<Popgun> remember the trouble you had with Stalin?

<|fS|Solaris> oh man...i gotta get some viagra darts
<|fS|Solaris> going around shooting people with viagra
<|fS|Solaris> don't like a teacher?
<|fS|Solaris> see how everyone else likes him when he's got
wood
<|fS|Solaris> is there a woman that you think is a man?
<|fS|Solaris> you can find out!

<byron> So, I was cleaning up my email inbox
<byron> and found these half-naked pictures of this girl I
used to go out with
<byron> so I texted her, joking: "Hey, found you lingerie
pictures on my email account. If you would like me to return
them just give me your email address again pls"
<byron> and she actually texts me back with her email and a
"thanks for returning them!"
<byron> what a stupid bitch

< Nooblender> on an unrelated note i had to wake up early
after staying up late to have breakfast with my hot nieces, so
i went to sleep at 8 pm but woke up at midnight, wtf
< that_guy> on a related note do you realize how creepy 'hot
nieces' sounds?

<dayve> i was pissing in a toilet tonight at the movies.. in
the cubicle bit
<dayve> then i look at the wall and see some guy has tagged
the letters BBS
<dayve> then i caught myself thinking "fuck.. i'd better hurry
up"
<evlisisdead> you fucking nerd

<Supamoochu> do you know durex have a guaruntee that their
condoms will not get people preggers
<Supamoochu> i wonder how they refund
<Flamebird> with a free coathanger

<Mystiq> GOD DAMNIT, EVERY TIME I SEE A NEW PICTURE OF BUSH I
WANT TO GIVE HIM A BANANA

<+DEK> i heard oral sex is better than fucking
<%Disarm10> Uh, depends.
<%Disarm10> On what you're in the mood for.
<%Disarm10> 9 times outta 10, a hand job is perfectly fine.
<+DEK> ahh i guess
<+DEK> masturbation works too
<+DEK> it works for me, since my hands are girly and soft
<+DEK> <33
<%Disarm10> >_> I meant getting one, not giving yourself one,
but yea =P
<%Disarm10> lol
<+DEK> its fun watching myself in the mirror cuz it looks like
a girl is giving me a handjob
<+DEK> but in reality, it is me
<%Disarm10> ...
<+DEK> masturbating
<+DEK> infront of a fucking mirror
* +DEK cries
* You were kicked by Disarm10 (ZOMG)

Cataclaw: "You are on day 2135 of your evaluation period"
Cataclaw: o sorry paint shop pro
Cataclaw: mind if i use it one more day?
Tinactin: Were I to ever release a bit of software and have
the nerve to charge to "activate" it, I'd have those messages
become ruder and ruder as the use progressed past the trial
period.
Tinactin: Until, "You motherfucking cunt, why not just pay for
the fucking software already? Jesus fucking Christ, what do
you think, I coded this shit out of the goodness of my fucking
heart?  Bullshit, you've been using this shit for a fucking
year already, and I haven't gotten a single fucking thank you,
let alone a goddamn cent for it.  Fuck you, you worthless,
mooching son of a bitch.  Fuck you.  [Activate] [Continue
Unregistered]"

(mc-face) don't you think a funny joke gift would be kleenex
that smells like ass

<Luthor> Dude, my school banned white t-shirts today :(
<Luthor> they claimed it was a gang symbol, and that it
promoted violence and conflict
<Nasci> I'd rather just ban all the kids, no more violence,
problem solved.

assmuncher: any idea who's in the running for president next
election?
sinistercanadian: ahhnold
sinistercanadian: he sneaks into the capitol building every
night and re arranges 7 letters on the constitution
sinistercanadian: by mid 2007 he will be eligible for
president

Ericjericj: bunny is a funny word
Ericjericj: funny bunny
Ericjericj: bunnybunnybunny
Ericjericj: funnyfunnyfunnybunnybunnybunny
Ericjericj: bunnyfunnybunnyfunnybunnyfunny
PeyoteGuacomole: You got into my meth again, didn't you?

<Red_Sky> We'll call it "Shut the hell up", and you'll go
first. 
<Red_Sky> Now, the object of this game, Deos, is to shut the
hell up.
<Red_Sky> You're doing exceptionally well for a beginner.

<Foobar> livejournal no longer requires referral codes to make
a new lj
<Fluster> sweet.  now i can bitch about my life without having
friends first.