bash.org archive

<Ziller> I'm confused now
<Ziller> am I me?
<Ziller> [12:14] *** Ziller ([email protected]) Quit (Ping
timeout)
<_jackal> it's weird to see yourself quit from irc..
<Ziller> like seeing your own death

<DeeCee> they made white chocolate so little black kids could
get messy too

<Zeta7> man
<Zeta7> dont give me that guns are bad shit
<Zeta7> I have numerous guns and I dont remember the last time
a life was taken with any of them
<[sq]> guns
<[sq]> hehe
<[sq]> you know i have blackouts like that too

<bmg505> ja running internet services on windows iis is like
playing russian roulette with a glock

<Cyberllam> today has been about nothing but good news
<Cyberllam> earlier i found out that I was pregnant with twins
<juntog> are they mine?
<HaLLowCat> they better not be
<Cyberllam> no, but they can be, for the low, low price of 3
low payments of 29.95 each

HDF_Red wakes up
<HDF_Red> my mom taste funny ;_;
<HDF_Red> oh man
<Lord-Lard-Arse> OMG :x
<HDF_Red> typo city

<nullgod> I'm not quite sure who slack is for, it's harder
then REdHat, so it's not for newbies, it's less secure then
FreeBSD so it's not for experts, and it's not pretty so it's
not for desktops.
<DigDug> slack is for linux zealots :-D

<PotatoSan> Why in the hell is King Boo a heavyweight
character in Double Dash?
<PotatoSan> HE'S A MOTHERFUCKING GHOST!

<Robyn> If the spam I receive is representative of America,
then there must be many fat women married to men with tiny
penises.

[phuong]: zim: smoking harms ur baby
[somdomy]: how does smoking hurt your laptop?

<Panty_HaX0r> how old are you?
<phubuh> 13
<Scofco> I wish I was 13 again, then I wouldn't have AIDS

<Tenkz> GG and Riot sitting in a tree
<Tenkz> virtually undressing...ly.
<MrPants> first comes asl
<Tenkz> then comes cyber
<Girl_Gamer_152> then comes meet in real life and IT'S A 60YO
TRANSFESTITE!

<Kaff> the biker from the Village People died.
<Kaff> he died of lung cancer.
<Kaff> which just proves that getting a coq up the date will
kill you in mysterious ways.
<Dane> kaff: no. you just misunderstood when the report said
that he'd had too many fags.
<Kaff> haha

(@Shockwave) Windows 3.11 calculator is broken in an amusing
way.
(@Shockwave) Put in 3.01 - 3 and it gives you 0, every time.
(@Shockwave) Hurray for flaws in MS's basic math table
(JIM_BOB7813) Well if you need a calculator to do that, you
deserve that answer :P

<+coondawg> the creativity used in porn title naming if
applied correctly could probly cure cancer

<Murdoc> sometimes i wonder if the fig leaf on Eve's twat is
actually an air freshener

<bad_carpet> false alarm
<bad_carpet> My uncle wouldn't care if I was IRCing
<bad_carpet> I'm just embarrased.
<bad_carpet> to be found doing so
<bad_carpet> Imagine what they'd think if they knew a 25 year
old man calling himself bad_carpet was talking to a 19 year
old man calling himself, 'muffin'

<^o-o^> somebody told me once never to use the words "I",
"myself" or "me" in a resume
<^o-o^> anybody here follow this rule ?
<DeLorean> No.
<DeLorean> It sounds wishy-washy.
<cafuego> I myself have never applied that rule to me.

<@kram> !banme wibble
* @Arrow throws a brick at wibble
<@kram> cool
<@Smidge204> !banme everyone else
* @Arrow throws a brick at everyone else
<Stryke> !banme
* Arrow sets mode: +b *!
*[email protected]
* Stryke was kicked by Arrow (You fell for it; hook, line, and
sinker.)

<punch> welp time to open a vintage 2003 botle of merlot
<punch> ah, thursday, a very good year
<punch> lemme just get this cap unscrewed and I can get to
guzzlin'
<h4m911> heh, cap
<punch> don't all good wines have handles on the bottle?
<punch> the best ones come in a space-age foil pouch inside a
durable cardboard box
<punch> in 50 years, wealthy people around the world will
boast of their fine collections of boxed chardonnay

<LR|Midnight> this ice cream owns
<[ice]> omfg
<[ice]> this Midnight cream 0wns

Kamikazefish17:  sweet.  im at work but no one is here.  yet
again
Mikelucky8:  That sucks. Also, Disney is ruining ANOTHER book
that I read as a child by making it a movie.
Kamikazefish17:  which one now?
Mikelucky8:  the Bridge to Terabithia. It's supposed to be
about some kids finding some secluded forest place and growing
attached to it like an alternate reality, but instead Disney
is skipping the symbolism and metaphor and going straight for
freaking robopirates and beavers with collanders on their
heads

<Torke> haha, tgp couldn't score with a chick if she came
right up to him and asked to suck his dick
<Torke> because
<Torke> that happened
<Torke> and he didn't score

<DigDug> qu:230; <blazemore> cause i don't care about video
games anymore <blazemore> video games are a waste of money
<reptile-> What the hell?
<reptile-> someone replaced our blazemore with some Christian
bigot.

<USMarine> if someone +v's me, how do I talk?
<USMarine> i have the mic plugged in obviously
<USMarine> do i have to push a button or something

<Ouroboros> Tang is as good as sex.
<ruiner> my sex isn't powdery and orange

<Dareon> I wonder where my package is.
<Valvados> checked between your legs?
<Dareon> If it was there, I wouldn't be so bored right now,
would I?

* @Falco|LAN goes to kick his sister's ass
<@pandairo> heh
<%hurricane> just beat her boyfriend up, its more satisfying
<@pandairo> isnt she too young for boyfriends?
<%hurricane> i dunno how old is she
<@Falco|LAN> she's 12
<@Falco|LAN> well
<@Falco|LAN> I couldn't get her to get off
<%hurricane>....
<%hurricane> please tell me you mean the phone or computer

<jwbozzy> drwiii: are you going to Bohagers for Mardi Gras?
<drwiii> no.
<jwbozzy> me either
<drwiii> excellent.
<jwbozzy> they are, however, filming girls gone wild there
<drwiii> no is swahili for yes.

<_absent> I wish j00 could modify chicks like you can do to
pc's all plug and play and shit
<_absent> if she talks to much
<_absent> pull out her sound card
<APE_> heh
<UzzaGangsta> nah man
<UzzaGangsta> have a control panel
<UzzaGangsta> mute the complaint and talkative channels
<_absent> j00 could upgrade her tits
<APE_> install linux on her and customize away
<ShadowofBob> and change her appearence =)
<UzzaGangsta> overclock her sex drive O_O
<_absent> she could playback mp3's too
<UzzaGangsta> ja
<APE_> and rip dvds on the fly
<ShadowofBob> you'd probably add ports and drives to her :P
<UzzaGangsta> heh shes already got the port im interested in
O_O
<_absent> women really should conform to standard pc
architecture
<_absent> it'd own
<ibor132> yeah it would

<egg> i had beer for breakfast yesterday
<Raz> egg: I had YOU for breakfast yesterday
<Raz> BECAUSE YOUR NAME IS "EGG." AND I HAD AN EGG I AM A
COMEDY GENIUS
<egg> Raz: If that were so, i'd be playing havoc with your
colon
<Raz> egg: You did :[

<@King-Kong> now this fuckin chick doesnt wanna go out
<@King-Kong> i fucking took a shower too, wtf

<NeoMatriX> Two friends, /exit and /quit sitting in the
garden, /exit goes away,who is still there??

Sarah: I hate how society says we all have to be thin
Jenn: I'm fat because I'm rebelling

<trekkie47> u know how my bros comp is the same room as mine
right ?
<jbean> yeah
<trekkie47> well my bro was dling pr0n on his computer
<trekkie47> and he just fuckin left the downloads to go and
went to a friends
<trekkie47> then dad went on his computer
<jbean> and then
<trekkie47> i dunno
<trekkie47> he told me to leave
<jbean> hahahaha

*** IlhMansiz sets mode: +o goTurkey
*** goTurkey sets mode: -ooo ccg-afk da-away Drugh|
*** goTurkey sets mode: -ooo IlhMansiz RavenL0v3 v\zzz
*** goTurkey sets mode: +b *!*@undernet.org
*** goTurkey was kicked by X (### MASSDEOPPRO TRIGGERED! ###)
<v\zzz> IlhMansiz
<v\zzz> if you op anyone here again you will be on perm ban
<v\zzz> nuff said
later in a prv window :
<IlhMansiz> sorry
<IlhMansiz> who is nuff?

<[OKW]Buchwald> is it "cheating" on your girlfriend if you
invite a couple of girls over to get naked, and you end up
jerking off on to their tits, but you never touch them?
<[SS]Corky> NO!
<[SS]Corky> did this happen?
<[OKW]Buchwald> well, gimme a few minutes :)

(ginge): find 'bandages' when you have a dong, its dead good
(ginge): dong? i meant chance
(ginge): wtf is on my mind?!

<Mr_E> kazaa lite's a little better... I get a good 30 seconds
of downloading before it crashes
<Mr_E> regular kazaa crashes on start up
<Mr_E> I need like, kazaa-uber-lite
<Mr_E> if there was such thing
<Mr_E> maybe I'd get a whole file done then
<w|zzy> it is your celery
<Mr_E> excuse me?
<logicalentity> hehe
<logicalentity> NOW THATS TECH SUPPORT

<RunninRaven> I don't think I have once asked Jeeves a damn
thing
<moestavern19> I asked him once where i could find some
kick-ass porn
<RunninRaven> What did he say?
<moestavern19> he said kickassporn.com

<neo[soul]> people cant take jokes anymore
<neo[soul]> this lady at work brought her dog in
<neo[soul]> and i stared at it and said "yummy"
<neo[soul]> and she got scared and walked off
<neo[soul]> fucking idiot

< Laura> I used to have a preserved human penis in a jar.
< Laura> It was lost in a move.
< Laura> This made me sad until someone pointed out that that
means that SOMEONE moved into a house and found a human penis
in a jar.
< Laura> This makes me feel better.

(jsmonet) how the fuck do you kill black widows
(PackRat) Take away their food stamps?

<StuGhattz> I think wet dreams are actually God giving you a
handjob for being so good.

<Guest> how big is the internet?
<xmaddness> Well if you go too far you'll fall off the end of
it.
<Guest> really?
<xmaddness> Yep, some people call it IRC

* TPEGrunge is away: -(be back in 12 years)- since -(01:54)-
pager -(off)-
* TPEGrunge is back: from -(be back in 12 years)- gone -
(626wks 1day 6secs)-

<hypr> 0h shit ash
<hypr> yer roommate is offened by women?
<hypr> haw he am gay
<hypr> j00 have sex wit em?
<hypr> ash dat page am mad sl0w
<Ash> Yah.
<brazemore> hypr was taught defunct english as a child.

<Bl1tz|> lol I think Tatu arose out of a secret expiriment to
log the average American's web search
<Bl1tz|> and they came up with 'young teenage Russian
lesbians'

<D1> but I wish I lived in the same house with 30 women.
* DooD rushes out to sue some sororities to get in
<kisama_> women are not sex objects, women are psychotic
freaks
<kisama_> expect to take a six digit number if you want to go
to the bathroom
<kisama_> and if you want to eat, make sure you have a lot of
g's
<kisama_> ahh, like your closets filled with clutter?
<kisama_> want people to not stay out of your room?
<kisama_> maybe you'd like your bathroom closet being full of
toilet paper and tampons?
<kisama_> yeah, think about that before you go out and say you
want to live with 30 women

<MicroChip> ok, so who's gonna win the superbowl?
<Chucker-away> the Yankees
<bishop> the sox
<MicroChip> you guys are so female

guardian_elma: my son just said to me, "you don't even know
the basics of cool"

<NihiMetal> I saw my first porno when I ws 11
<NihiMetal> It had tons of lesbian sex and stuff
<NihiMetal> I use to think that women did that shit with each
other all the time
<NihiMetal> You never look at your mother and the preachers
wife the same after that

<Tony> a hand job..10 dollars, a blowjob..25 dollars, full
sex..50 dollars, a long lasting relationship..priceless. There
are some things money can buy, for everything else, theres
blackmail.

(maffewz) little women is on, i'm sure every lesbian with a
tivo is filling up hard drive space

<SinbadTheSailor> hi hedge...are you on turps?
<Hedge> quite sober actually
<sTar69> sober like, just jammed my penis in the door kinda
sober?
<Hedge> sober like i just got caught shoplifting a dildo kinda
sober
<sTar69> oh THAT kind of sober ;)
<sTar69> i mean err what are you talking about?

<Karmer> I am as eternal as the boundless limits of outer
space, and my owner loathes and despises me
<mike> leprosy
<Karmer> no
<Karmer> it is
<Karmer> slidey's virginity

<Borlath_Mon> Dammit...what's a good ascii equivalent to "get
down tonight"?
<Fox_Alan> dunno..
<Borlath_Mon> Dammit.
<Borlath_Mon> I'm trying to put together an ascii version of a
song
<Borlath_Mon> Do a little dance
<Borlath_Mon> :D-<
<Borlath_Mon> :D|-<
<Borlath_Mon> :D/-<
<Borlath_Mon> :D|-<
<Borlath_Mon> :D-<
<Borlath_Mon> :D|-<
<Borlath_Mon> :D/-<
<Borlath_Mon> make a little love
<Borlath_Mon> 8=w=D
<Borlath_Mon> 8==wD
<Borlath_Mon> 8=w=D
<Borlath_Mon> 8w==D
<Borlath_Mon> 8=w=D
<Borlath_Mon> 8==wD
<Borlath_Mon> 8=w=D
<Borlath_Mon> Get down tonight?
<Fox_Alan> hmmmmmmm
<Borlath_Mon> It's a tricky one

<Mario> were is evesyone?
<penfold> in graamer school
<penfold> grammar*
<penfold> damnit, it backfired :\

<Professor> I got a phone call asking for the Gay Homofag at
work today.
<Professor> Surprisingly, I forwarded it to the right person.

<Arno^QS> Intel Inside: The world's most widely distributed
warning label

Anatole: I like when my dog thinks I'm going to get up, so he
gets up to follow me, then I don't and he looks at me then
goes for a walk like he was going to walk anyway. He thinks
he's people.
Melthar: He thinks he's 'people'? He has a split personality?
Anatole: Yeah, like last night he's going on about how he'll
teach me to use the force, then today he's all "We can conquer
China by next week".
Furr: Your dog said this?
Anatole: It's fucked up having a dog with an MPD man.

<Caffy> I was just in my Attic and I heard a few rat's run
around and I was like, dad did you know there are rats up
here?
<Caffy> And he replied with, "It's alright, Mortin doesnt
bite"
<Caffy> WTF, MY HICK FATHER NAMED THE RAT MORTIN?!?

<Crono> Meh, I don't have a pound key...
<Crono> Where the hell is my character map...
<gabriel> £ick me.
<gabriel> Alt 0163
<gabriel> Charmap is under "System Tools" in 98
<gabriel> in 3.1, I think it's in accessories
<Crono> WinME
<gabriel> Oh, don't click it, your computer will explode.

<Linguica> whatever you say honey
<Linguica> err homey

Gigs|  spammers need to get thier shit straight
Gigs| "horny mom getting it for the first time"

Vipar87: so my old ass english teacher starts going on about
passing a failing kids when she starts up a story about this
school bus driver who needed to pass this class to keep his
job. Well, he ended up with a D+, failing, but right at the
edge of a C, so she nudged him up enough to pass him. A few
weeks later, he was in a wreck while driving the school bus.
He died, but none of the kids did and she goes "I'm so glad I
passed him so he could save those kids..." and I'm like...
"Bitch, if you woulda failed him, he'd be alive, and the new,
SMARTER bus driver wouldn't have wrecked the bus anyway!"
mario13256: idiot

<`axion> dammit
<`axion> they fucked my hair up
<nakke> well
<nakke> now your hair suits the rest of you

<Mr_Saturn> im surprised you won the race with 3 million other
sperm
<VenDi> i never raced in anythin dumbass

RadioMatthew:  LimeWire is like committing a solo crime.
RadioMatthew:  Torrenting is like being a part of the mafia.