bash.org archive

<McMoo> but then last year the sermon like a week before
christmas was like 'CHRISTMAS ISN'T ABOUT PRESENTS - OUR ONE
TRUE PRESENT IS JESUS CHRIST!!!'
<McMoo> my dad didn't even get my mom anything
<McMoo> she was pissed.

<EvilJoven> JESUS`Son: like you have said before, you cannot
prove it, its a matter of faith
<EvilJoven> nothing you do can prove to us that the words you
speak are not lies passed down from your fathers
<EvilJoven> the only thing which identifies the words in that
book of yours as truth is that book, by that logic anything
written is truth
*** Quits: JESUS`Son ([email protected]) (Ping
timeout)
<EvilJoven> ok, who packeted the lamer?
<EvilJoven> christ, I bet it was you Anjin
<EvilJoven> you people ALWAYS do that, I finish catching up on
/. and decide to rip in to the lamer and one of you packets
him or bans him, QUIT TAKING AWAY MY TOYS!

<CrazySpence> my moms like "do you have the paper towels" *i
hand them over* "I know you use them for jerking off" *laughs
and closes the door*

<D1> some new LCDs came out recently.
<D1> which are suppost to be better than the old ones or
something.
<McMoo> some new computers came out recently, too
<McMoo> amazingly enough, they're also supposed to be better
than old ones.

<E-Claire> We're doing a play in drama.
<A-C> oh yeah?
<E-Claire> Yeah. A play about soviet Russia
<E-Claire> Only we're using household animals. We got the idea
from Orwell's animal farm.
<A-C> Will you have Gerbils?
<E-Claire> Nah...he was nazi germany.

<Red_Sky> It must have been a slow newsday. The headline for
today's paper is 'Suicide Bomber Killed'.

<Argent-> Call a few adoption agencies asking for a hot 17
year-old girl with a birthday coming up, and they start with
the suppoenas.

<boomer> mount rushmore, contrary to popular opinion, did not
grow that way

<Manda> i want a bf
<Manda> i am lame and desperit
<Jamie> desperate
<Redalien> no
<Redalien> desperit
<Redalien> from the latin
<Jamie> wtf
<Redalien> deperitus
<Redalien> meaning easy

<Teeks> Katsmall: Ah. Well, there are similar differences
between Norwegian and English.
<Katsmall> Where's Norway?
<Teeks> It's the capital of Canada.
<Teeks> Land of four A's.
<Katsmall> Is that so?
<Katsmall> Which four A's?
<Teeks> The ones in the name ... count them ... O_o ... OH MY
GOD! SWEET JESUS! THE LIES!!

* Joins: Niro77
<Niro77> hi
<Niro77> anyone here?
<Niro77> ...
* Niro77 yawns
<Niro77> hellloooooo
<Niro77> Am I talking to myself?
<Niro77> you know.. the C in IRC means "chat"
<@quake> and the IR means "shut the fuck up, we're idling in
this ".

<Apollo-> 12,000 tourists went to Antarctica in 2000
<eclypse> why the hell would you want to go there ;)
<eclypse> "WOW, its insanely cold and very white."
<eclypse> "if you look to your left you see some snow, to the
right, some snow, behind us, a bigass piece of ice."
<eclypse> "and if you look around you you'll see several more
complete morons who paid about what you did to see this shit"

<gjvc> that is beyond ghetto
<gjvc> that is where trailers go to die

[BoardMasta] you hate how sean runs stuff because he has no
idea what he is doing
[Areoaelw] seans not the brightest cake on the candle :(

<vino> when we first got our chickens
<vino> we got all these differant ones
<vino> and some of them fighted
<vino> and no jokes
<vino> one of them
<vino> bashed the fuck out of another one
<vino> and did a victory dance
<nim-zero> serious man
<nim-zero> go to narcotics anonymous

<Demamas> <Jew> I WORSHIP THIS GOD, WHO SAYS THIS AND THIS AND
THIS. <Christian> AND THERE WAS THIS OTHER CARPENTER GUY WHO
DID SOME STUFF, HE'S FUCKING GREAT. DIE, JEW! <Muslim> I AGREE
TOTALLY, NOW I WILL KILL YOU BOTH!
<Renzian> THEN OPTIMUS PRIME SWEEPS IN WITH LAS0RBEAMS :D

ShoMonkayHe: Guess what
Maxx Stepper: you lost our virginity?
Maxx Stepper: your*

<TheShadowHunter> Im still afraid to ask if I did anything
unusual while on morphine. I dont remember it really affecting
me at all but for all I know I couldve been running up and
down the halls naked and pushing old people out of
wheelchairs.
<TheShadowHunter> Thats something I prefer to do while
entirely coherent.

<user> when I can figure out how to compile sex, we're going
to be rich
<someone> so true
<someone> geeks everywhere will be so happy
<user> "download the latest binary of sex for Linux, or build
it from source"
<someone> ummm
<someone> build from source with my options
<user> I'd have the longest configure line you've ever seen
<someone> --swallow=yes
<user> ./configure --with-toys --
<user> damnit..I wasn't done
<user> --enable-plugins
<someone> oh yah
<someone> --outside=yes
<user> --set-max-users=10
<someone> --set-max-female-users=10

*** WFTP-Stats has entered[#PHPHELP] at [4:38pm] [12 Users]
<WFTP-Stats> sux my dick
*** WFTP-Stats has left [#PHPHELP] at [4:38pm] [11 Users]
*** WFTP-Stats has entered [#PHPHELP] at [4:38pm] [12 Users]
<WFTP-Stats> losers
*** WFTP-Stats has left [#PHPHELP] at [4:38pm] [11 Users]
<Loman> weeeee
*** WFTP-Stats has entered [#PHPHELP] at [4:38pm] [12 Users]
<WFTP-Stats> lazy bastards
*** WFTP-Stats has left [#PHPHELP] at [4:38pm] [11 Users]
*** WFTP-Stats has entered [#PHPHELP] at [4:38pm] [12 Users]
<WFTP-Stats> alright im sorry
<WFTP-Stats> help me with my php now plz

<MrFalcon> Rattus: it's just random chance that i hit the
keyboard in such a way that my responses make sense

(@Zaphod): ok, this is just getting all kinds of fucked up
(@Zaphod): what exactly do you want working
(@Zaphod): the linux machine can see the switch, forget about
that
(@Zaphod): what do you want it to be able to do through the
switch ?
(+Andross): i want to be able to share internet via the switch
with my linux box
(@Zaphod): the same linux box thats dual booted with the
windows machine you are on now ?
(+Andross): yeah

[+Mista] so how would I go about making a game?
[+DJ-Northern] 1- Hire a team of developers
[+DJ-Northern] 2- Spoof screenshots to create hype
[+DJ-Northern] 3- Buy an E3 booth
[+DJ-Northern] 4- Take your company public
[+DJ-Northern] 5- Disappear with the money before anybody asks
for a product

VisionSixTwo: In history class, our history teacher has a
somewhat sporadic style of writing on the chalkboard.
VisionSixTwo: for some reason, she wrote "HitlerxMussolini". I
forget why.
VisionSixTwo: I have suggested to Allison that wingfic must be
written
Arch mage144: "Adolf," moaned Benito softly. "Your moustache.
It tickles me so."

<XDice> My last g/f retrated into a shell, and ended the
relationship.
<maxathome> cool, she knew unix?

<ChernoBog> i will ring for no money, and i know how to speak
English, Macedonian, Serbian, Croatian, Bosnian and
Bulgarian... understand some of russian too....
<Dashiva> and you haven't ethnically cleansed yourself yet?

*** Darth_Jon was kicked by wombat (oh no, you've gone back in
time to when the channel didn't have you in it)

<mindbomb> anytime anyone refers to themselves as a 'foodie' I
want to knock their fucking teeth out
<mindbomb> oh you like to eat food that tastes good?
congratufuckinglations
<mindbomb> blog about it

<tinman> Do you put antlers on your pussy?
<tinman> er
<tinman> that wasn't for this channel

<DTOX> my wife says the white trash have already come up with
a new name for Osama
<DTOX> "Osama Bin Hidin"
<DTOX> that's really sticking it to him
<refugee> man, that must have took all their brain power
<DTOX> cases upon cases of RC Cola were drank

<MadHatter> sushi rulez!
<Ash> [12:26] <MadHatter> sushi rulez!
<Ash> [12:31] <MadHatter> i have a tummy ache

<frenetic> guys how much would 200 mhz usually cost at a store
<frenetic> I am trying to upgrade my 800mhz to 1ghz

<fosheeze> i ate oatse for breakfast
<BigBrother_> was that a typo of oats, or goatse?
<BigBrother_> I'm hoping it was oats, or do you eat horribly
disfigured anus?

<Cloe> be quiet or i'll beat you like a rented mule
<Crowley> you abuse your rented pack animals?
<Cloe> yes, i do
<Cloe> now carry my stuff up the trail
<Crowley> suck my huge donkey dick

<HuStLe> Today I was was flirting with this hot girl in the
halls after school but once again my computer screwed me over
<Netminder> How so?
<HuStLe> Well I was gettin far with her, then she me a secret
about her and her ex, I went to laugh, but guess what came
out.
<HuStLe> Me - "Laugh out Loud", I actually said laugh out
loud. :(

<@asym> I bet rob zombie would win the election if he came on
TV and said "elect me or I will open the gates of hell."

<x`fearless> whoever's turn it is says like "never have I ever
done this..." and if you've done it u gotta drink
<x`fearless> omg some girl was like never have I ever had anal
sex and 3 girls at the table drank I'm like OMGOMGOMG

<%Justin> lol
<%Justin> I've always wanted to ask a girl for a cron job and
see what they would say.
<+Steph> probably, WTF
<%Justin> hmm
<%Justin> Steph, will you give me a cronjob.
<%Justin> Everynight @ 2

holler its emily: Five Reasons Not to Be a Penis:
holler its emily: 1. You're bald your whole life.
holler its emily: 2. You have a hole in your head.
holler its emily: 3. Your neighbors are nuts.
holler its emily: 4. The guy behind you is an asshole.
holler its emily: And lastly...
holler its emily: 5. Every time you get excited, you throw up
and then faint
DrkVengeance: you wouldnt always faint
DrkVengeance: depends on how well you can hold your licker

<Enrico> do you like your co-workers
<Thibster> I'd like them to leave me alone
<Enrico> have you tried shooting them... I bet you didn't.
<Thibster> no I tried
<Thibster> they respawn

<sdr> i'm going to play with it first and become familiar,
then show her how to use it

*** fluffy` changes topic to 'Anyone have cracked cm4? e-mail
[email protected]'
*** Quits: fluffy` (cya)
*** JzY|aw is now known as fluffy`
*** fluffy` changes topic to 'Anyone have Frankie does Carlos
4? e-mail [email protected]'
*** fluffy` is now known as JzY

<iln> AlmtyBob: are both of j00r computers hooked up with cox?
<Ash> I'm awake! Did somebody say cox?

<FriedGold> Gentlemen... welcome to recursion club.  The first
rule is: you do not talk about recursion club.  The next rule
is: see first rule.

* edude84 ([email protected]) has joined #
Help
<edude84> dude
<edude84> are there cheats for IRC?

<shwS> I have 1½ pack left.. after that, I'm smoking.
<pu_ma> okay...
<shwS> I'm quitting*

* Riven will give head for broadband
<Riven i wish someone would service my area ;-;
<Riven> .... that didn't come out right
<Riven> but now that i mention it ...

<Foobar> this guy is like weapons-grade stupid

<Drizuid> what operating system does linux run on?

<digdug> i think i've come up with a solution to my problem
<digdug> i'll just put each [previously misconfigured NT] box
into its own domain
<digdug> mwuahahahah
<h2odragon> digdug: you are in Hell; all you can do is push
the rock up a different wall for a while
<h2odragon> it's still going to roll back down

<minkus> ohh my god these pies taste great
<minkus> if only i could fuck them
<minkus> WAIT! I CAN

<yuethomas> so I'm not a psychopath. Boohoo.
<Dom> Well, psychopath doesn't mean murderer or killer
<Dom> They're just more likely to
<Dom> They tend to appear very intelligent, only their
vocabulary is very extensive, but if you are intelligible
about the topic they're discussing you will usually find it
has no real substance.
<Dom> Just lots of misused or illogical jargon
<yuethomas> Case in point. o_o
<yuethomas> and cliches, i'm sure
<Dom> Yep
<Dom> And they drift from topic to topic very easily
<yuethomas> speaking of the weather
<Dom> :D
<Dom> Thanks, I brushed it this morning
<yuethomas> Did it grow?
<Dom> And how
<yuethomas> I know eh
<Dom> I'll have to paint it one day
<yuethomas> Use some duct tape too
<Dom> and hotpants

<anarch> A restaurant in northeastern China that advertised
illegal tiger meat dishes was found instead to be selling
donkey flesh _ marinated in tiger urine, a newspaper reported
Thursday.
<anarch> cant wait to go to china!
<Landslide> SOUNDS GRRRRREEEAAT

<Wampa> Screw the little children of the world
<Falcon24> ok
<ROFISH> he didn't mean that literally falc

<NeroMan> "Queer Eye For A Straight Guy" would be better if at
the end of the episode the five gay guys combined into a giant
one
<MattW> I'll form the ARM
<Karva> I want to be the crotch
<NeroMan> "I'll give the head"
<NeroMan> I mean.. form the head.

<f3nce> did you hear that marvin gaye was shot by his father?
+[8|:
<wayfinder> some parents cant deal with their kids being gaye

<Khamosis> I'm such a fucking retard sometimes...
<Khamosis> I took a shit, went to wipe, but for some reason I
grabbed the deodorant and smeared it all over my ass :
<Khamosis> uggg
<Khamosis> now I need new deodorant :(
<Khamosis> sometimes I'm so fucking out of it
<Khamosis> well... I guess its good that my ass smells fresh

<CrackyMcZap> why don't we get a Straight Pride parade?
<Kaejo> they're called gun & knife shows

<FFChatter> I wanna' change my nick!
<Onyx> type /nick (NAME HERE)
<FFChatter> Trying to trick me?....
<FFChatter> I won't fall for it....

<Muskratt> How can people like you guys survive infancy
without bursting into flames from some major god (I don't care
who) 's anger?
<MightyQuinn> easy
<MightyQuinn> we carry fire extinguishers

<Ed> alright
<Ed> the world is completely fucked
<Ed> my neighbour has a "No visitors except by prior
arrangement" sign
<Ed> thing is, I just found out that the bastard's a Jehova's
Witness
<Ed> I wonder if a "No thanks, I'm a Protestant" would work
any on my door

<EarthShaman> note to self: www.manpages.com is NOT an online
resource to get
*nix man pages

*** bongboy is now known as hurstdogs-mom
<hurstdog> don't make me kill you
<pb> hurstdog: you'd kill your own mother???

<meyowith> almost done cleaning my room :D
<meyowith> now to untangle my wires..
Quit: Meyowith (connection reset by peer)

<fireslide> i turned the windows narrator on
<fireslide> it funny as hell :)
<Tolkien`> what does it do?
<fireslide> it narrates stuff man
<Tolkien`> like the text on the screen?
<fireslide> yes
<Tolkien`> is it for deaf people
<Tolkien`> or something?

<Antipop> Does it have a henway?
<Bew> What's a henway?
<Antipop> About 3 or 4 pounds

lemonlimeskull: Room-mate spends so much time strung-out that
he hasn't been taking out the trash, so I just started leaving
the full bags all over the kitchen floor.
lemonlimeskull: Was all fun and games for me until he called
911 about the 'black midget gang'.

<Dreq> is there anyway to get the DOS version?
<andy> the dos version of win98?
<Dreq> yes

*** Antiarc is now known as Antiarrrrrrc
<Bloody_Davy_Flint> How's it going
Antiarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrc?
<Antiarrrrrrc> Arr, there be a steering wheel in me crotch!
<screevo> Doesnt that hurt?
<Antiarrrrrrc> Aye! It's drivin' me nuts!