bash.org archive

<elinsox> dude my boss rules
<mrwhite> with an iron fist
<legacy> and a big black strapon

-plot· then i masterbated
-plot· :D
+chimney· we didn't need to know that last part
-plot· but you wanted to know
+chimney· oh yes, i just LOVE knowing when EVERY ONE has
recently masturbated
+chimney· it's my top priority, i made a mysql database just
to keep track
-plot· dude
-plot· thats sick

<bunny> i thought NZ was bad
<bunny> you go to a US news site, and its like.. the same but
like 10x bigger
<bunny> we have like one person accidentlly drove of a cliff
<bunny> they have three busloads drove off a cliff, when the
driver of another car got out a machine gun and blew them to
crap
<bunny> alllllllllways gotta be better eh?
<bunny> all followed by a penguin riding a tricycle

<davidr> w00t! I installed a camera and a monitor ... the cam
points at my door so I don't have to turn my head to see if
somebody opens the door
<iku> ;D
<davidr> and now I'll start recording everything so I don't
even have to listen to my family, I'll just watch it when I
have time

<bos> how many 1/8 cups are in 1 cup
<infox> 8?
<bos> ;[ thats what i thought but i wasnt sure

<Ecob16> so this hobo asks me for spare change right
<Ecob16> and i ignore her cause im chatting with a mate
<Ecob16> so shes like "manners dont cost anything"
<Ecob16> so i turn to her and say "yeah, but if they did I
could afford them" :D
<Ecob16> you shud have seen her expression...

*** MindWreck ([email protected]) has joined
channel #asianpop
11:07 <MindWreck> !list
11:07 <poeham>  --- #asianpop :You're not channel operator
11:07 <poeham> :(
11:08 * poeham was ready to kick that time :(
11:08 <poeham> hey you
11:08 <poeham> LEAVE
*** MindWreck has left channel #asianpop
11:08 <poeham> $$
11:08 * poeham is just as effective from the sidelines

<rifkin> Happy Flag day everyone
<rifkin> the US army is 231 years old today
<rifkin> to celebrate I am leeching wireless from some iraqi
in baghdad

<ROM_Man>  can anyone point me to a resource on how to deal
with shadow passwords in perl?
<ROM_Man>  anyone alive?
<\mjd>  <rattle> Who dares to disturb my eternal rest?
<\mjd>  <clank>    <clank>                     <clank>

<SteveTheNormalGuy> link plzzzzzzzzz
<SteveTheNormalGuy> wait, another z should do it
<MegamanX2K> x
<MegamanX2K> err
<MegamanX2K> damnit
* MegamanX2K cannot spell "z"

<joseph> man, if i could shoot lightning from my balls, well,
that'd be pretty cool

(Fungus): idler, define " life " please :)
(Idler): Fungus: Life is the thing that grows in my fridge
(Idler): Starting to get really big now
(Idler): Might have to kill it some day
(NX): did u try to eat it?
(Idler): NX: No, that's what I should have done a long time
ago

<Wolfie_Fox> someone should make a song about ping timeout's
<Man1c-M0g> look at the badger badger flash, replace badger
with 'ping', mushroom with 'timeout', and snake with
'netsplit', and theres your song wolfie.

<shen> My computer is broadcasting an IP address...
<shen> I wonder if I can annoy the neighbours by broadcasting
it REALLY LOUD

<WaterBomb> Actually, I m only 23% gay
<Justin8649> So your head and penis are gay.
<WaterBomb> Whoa, that means my penis is 10% of my body
<Justin8649> ...
<WaterBomb> Since the head makes up approximately 13% of the
body s mass.
<WaterBomb> so by your logic, my penis is 1.3 feet long and 6
inches in diameter
<WaterBomb> if you want to figure it another way, my penis
would be 4 feet long and 1 inch in diameter

(ltb): how many emo kids does it take to screw in a light
bulb?
(ltb): none, let them cry in the dark.

(odd42) hey guys: i'm d/l-ing a huge file on a 56k modem but i
have an Athlon and GeForce, so do you think i could play q3 at
the same time?

<_rev> in fact, i've gotten further with my sister than anyone
i know

<cylinder> should've left it on goatse when you got off
<Him> heh
<Ody> o_o
<Ody> that would've gone down well with the parents
<Ody> "MOM! TRISTAN'S BEEN USING YOUR CABLE MODEM FOR LOOKING
AT HARDCORE MAN-PR0N AGAIN!!!!!"
<Ody> err
<Ody> not again

<Guilty> You dont want fatchicks on your pns
<Guilty> Let alone your primary pns

<base2> linux people think of windows more times a day than I
think of sex

<nailer> Where in Hell is Carmen Sandiago's Luggage?

<djdan> You are a really weird d00d.
<djdan> hm.
<djdan> d00d upside-down is p00p.

<Hat> How many seconds are there in a year?
<sirus> 2
<Hat> No.
<sirus> 7?
<Hat> That's not even an educated guess...
<sirus> i know
<sirus> im being stupid on purpose
<Hat> It's hard to tell.

CandyKillJoy: Have you heard of Avenged Sevenfold?
Danktolker: Yeah, I went to one of their concert
CandyKillJoy: You're a fan?
Danktolker: Unfortunately something called a "mosh pit" broke
out, which I misunderstood as a series of failed hug attempts
Danktolker: I was beaten rather severely after trying to join
in
Danktolker: Learn from my mistakes, friends

<sabin1001> heh, i have a couple of pokemon miniatures that my
cat just found, now he's attacking them...and winning
<NeonId> I think it would be more humorous were he losing.
<sabin1001> heh
<sabin1001> he won't listen to my commands...i must need a
badge
<Chronodin> Or a gun and a good taxidermist.

<lanken> suppose I have a file tree, and I want to move all
the leaves to the root of the tree
<infernal_jesus> lanken: shake tree -h

«Edgar_the_Fish» i sat and watched 3 male hamsters gang bang a
female hamster for about an hour at a pet store

<elitotaco> hmm
<elitotaco> this is a new one
<elitotaco> "GROW 3 INCHES                  OF CHEST HAIR"

Matt: I reaaaaaaaaaaallly hope the coding for this grade genie
in our online gradebook is fucked
Matt: "You final exam score must be 1.20303288341787e^308 for
Final Average to be 90"

<cyborgd17> this is fucked up, i hadn't jerked for about 1
week *out of boredom :|* and all these girls start flirting
with me for some reason, then i finally free up some room in
the ol' nutsack and i'm a loveless geek again! no-one comes
near me....masturbation sends out bad vibes!
<twistoliver> you're such a fucktard, don't you know everytime
that you masturbate, god kills a kitten
<hellyeh15> yeh, you must of killed their cats
<cyborgd17> that makes sense, cuz i've killed enough kittens
to make a kitten bridge to the moon...and back
<jonbridgenash> wait wait wait...hold up.....girls?

<MyTh`snoogans>
mY¯mom¯stole¯mY¯keYboard¯So¯im¯using¯chaRmap¯to¯type¯this
<MyTh`snoogans> god¯This¯sucks
<Unknown[SwHo]> charmap ?
<Unknown[SwHo]> like a palm-pilot ?
<MyTh`snoogans> yoU¯pRes¯The¯bUTTons¯wiTh¯the¯moUse
<MyTh`snoogans> iT¯TAkes¯foReveR
*  *   *   *   *  *  *  *
* MyTh`snoogans has joined #clan-swho
<MyTh`snoogans> did my mom think i couldnt find the keyboard
in the living room
<MyTh`snoogans> wtf was she thinking

<greeny> so i turn this box upside down and you know what i
find printed on the bottom?
<greeny> "don't turn the box upside down"
<greeny> :

<illz> "hypothetical ?: your best friend is seeing somebody.
shes not around,
he wants to fuck you and comes on to you. do you
fuck him?"
<defz> wait
<defz> are you a guy?

<Gloomster> I'm not white
<Gloomster> I'm rhythmically challenged

<FuriousC> listening to music no one else cares about doesnt
make you cool, its just means you're a ska fan

<soulsuckingharpy> once i walked in on my mother fucking a
clown
<killingtime> did like 20 clowns come out afterwards and do
somersaults?

<kung_fu_mike> I ran for office today in the IEEE elections
<kung_fu_mike> and I lost to a whiney bitch that everyone
knows is going to break under the pressure
<FlipTopBox> if everyone know's she'll crack, why did they
vote for her?
<kung_fu_mike> cause there idiots who came for the free pizza
and saw a moderatly cute girl
<kung_fu_mike> well guess I will have to get position my way
and get her in bed
<mightyflo> and run everything from behind the scenes
<kung_fu_mike> from behind is right

<Criznittle> cox.net
<dersteer> cox started blocking torrents
<badger> coxblocked!

<dragondyne> doritos are just as good though
<dragondyne> but the residue on your hands SUCKS ASS
<Mog116> yeah
<dragondyne> you need gloves to eat them
<AvaLance204> Yes doritos mess up your hands
<shadow> I don't mind the residue
<Mog116> dorito residue sucks
dragondyne> they should come with a pair of latex gloves
<dragondyne> they would sell more
<shadow> I usually eat chips when I'm not using my hands
<shadow> er
<AvaLance204> :o
<shadow> you know what I mean
<AvaLance204> lofl
<dragondyne> wtf
<shadow> when I'm not using my hands for anything else
<Mog116> what
<shadow> ah crap
<shadow> screw it
<dragondyne> do you stick your head in the bag and rotate or
something

<puppydo> what speed do you burn svcd at?...is 48X ok?
<_super_> 12
<_super_> never 48
<_super_> no
<_super_> never go that fast fools
<_super_> think of the reader
<_super_> give it a break
<_super_> why stress the dvd player
<_super_> trying to read at 48x
<_super_> stupid
<_super_> just slow that shit down
<_super_> just because a burner is fast is no reason to go
that fast
<_super_> it isnt that fast anyway only on the edges
<_super_> so cd has all kinds of speed on it
<_super_> fluctuates
<_super_> too mnuch
<ciscosyko> wait a minute..are u telling them if they write
the cd fast the dvd has to read it at that speed?
<_super_> yes
* ciscosyko stares at super for a minute and wanders off

<Maxim> rhetorical jeopardy is a pretty tricky game, you know?
:/

yuseisays: I got one! I got one!
BlackDragon412: WHAT?
yuseisays: What do you call children that are born in whore
houses?
yuseisays: BROTHEL SPROUTS
BlackDragon412: ...
yuseisays: oh crap, wrong persoin

<Powerslave> haha love this ticket pushed to me from our help
desk:  "modem making squeeking sound when connecting, needs
replaced"

<ExT> Can you spell *CENCUR*
<ExT> Or was it... SENSUR?
<Clownie> not any more
<ExT> maybe SENZUR?
<ExT> ZENCUR?
<ExT> Allright then
<Lebowske> lol
<Clownie> I'll just pick letters from a scrabble bag, I have
more chance of being right than you

<Gallusik_psv> sory
<Gallusik_psv> for my english :P
<osiris> I envy you, I really do, I hate speaking 1 language
<Gallusik_psv> aha
<Gallusik_psv> what languages do you know??

<fate-sg> it's almost as bad as rofl
<fate-sg> which to me is a bark gone wrong

<Nall> I watch porn, and what do I hear? Porn stars. I don't
want to hear "OH, GOD, FUCK ME, YES, FUCK ME RIGHT THERE, YES,
RIGHT THERE, GJ".
<Nall> No.
<Nall> I want to hear some pre-pubescent sounding ultra-sonic
screeching. I want it to sound like a 12 year old girl being
attacked by a rhino's horn.
<Nall> Thus, I turn to hentai.

{+Maynard} Guys i have a queastion
{@Dark|gone} no you dont blow its just called that

<Phoenix> what should i do a human factors research paper
about?
<Neal> catgirls
<Phoenix> well, coincidentally I also have to do a Japanese
thesis paper
<Phoenix> and writing about anime/manga/catgirls/mawaii would
be not at all out of line with what all the other undergrads
in the major are doing for their SENIOR THESIS, and so it's
really no wonder that the department head no longer gives a
flying fuck about any of his students
<Neal> my thesis is on why the escalation of power in dragon
ball z is unrealistic
<Phoenix> with the exception of Goku*
<Neal> my thesis is FRIEZA SUX!!!!!
<Phoenix> Working from the equation PowLev(X+1) = PowLev(X) *
1.10, I find it illogical that two super seiyan's with
respective levels 100,000 and 500,000 should be able to subdue
another super seiyan with power level 750,000
<Phoenix> From that perspective, this paper attempts to
repudiate the outcome of the Battle of Dragon Mount and
propose an alternate ending to the Dragon Ball Z saga

<JasonF> cdrws are cds that you COULD burn twice if they made
erasable sharpies

<slog> Is Susan Sarandon too old to be considered "dooable"?
<Joe_> Yes.
<Kiler> I'd still do her
<Rain|Joker> She's borderline
<slog> that's 1 yes, 1 no, 1 maybe
<Pander> Desperation is the key factor.
<Kranrev> I'd say yes, but it would be creepy
<Lum_> Ben Franklin said of older women: "They know what they
are doing, and they are eternally grateful".
<Lum_> in case you don't know your history Franklin was pretty
much a slutpuppy

<SUPERMCNUGGET> allright
<SUPERMCNUGGET> i need ur guys help on this
<SUPERMCNUGGET> THIS CONFUSES ME
<Loserbait> Depending
<SUPERMCNUGGET> greatly
<Loserbait> Spit it out little bitch
<SUPERMCNUGGET> obviously a flavoured condom is designed for
one reason
<Loserbait> To use on your penis. Yes, continue
<SUPERMCNUGGET> so the woman can taste some random flavour
while performing oral sex
<SUPERMCNUGGET> HOWEVER
<SUPERMCNUGGET> on the back of the box it says
<SUPERMCNUGGET> FOR VAGINAL USE ONLY
<SUPERMCNUGGET> how does it work?
<Loserbait> Um... Vaginas have taste buds?
<Loserbait> <Vagina> Oooh! Minty!
<SUPERMCNUGGET> dont ask why i have a box of flavoured condoms
either.....
<Loserbait> Admit it: It's for those lonely nights...

<Praetor> i got jury duty and I was like
<Praetor> "well.. I don't believe in drug laws... i couldn't
convict someone on drug posession bc i don't believe it should
be a crime, unless he was black of course"
<Praetor> excused

<EvilerMonkey> what time zone u in
<Johntuan> canada

<nframe> havent been to work in forever :p
<nframe> hope I remember how it goes around here.
<aaronitis> just like riding a bike, man
<trilliongrams> ^ bring your kneepads.  It will hurt a lot
less.

<torque--> i can fart out loud in an internet cafe because
everyones wearing headphones

<BlackDeth> I'M GOING TO GO SMOKE A 8=====D
<SYch0> yo roll me one too

<Filia> If you follow the other two stars in the cup of the
dipper (Megrez and Phecda) down below the cup, you will get to
Regulus.html, the brightest star in Leo.
<Filia> i'll remember that :D
<Havoc> ....
<Havoc> The brightest star in Leo has a file extension?

<SWM> in my day the size of the average male penis was 4"

<pL|DarKobra> oO_
<pL|Kala-Raksha> OMG A MUTANT!

<Koban> "Coke"®, "Coca-Cola"®, "The Real Thing"©, "Always"©,
"It"©, "Christmas"©, "Summer"©, "The Olympics"© and most other
words are owned by the Coca-Cola® Corporation.

<_chaos> The world will be perfect when you can log
conversations from real life.
<_chaos> For example if a man denies sleeping with another
woman his wife can just check the logs.
<_chaos> And the only way to cheat is if you had admin powers
to edit the logs... like me. heh :)
<CCDude> or i could kick your nerdy ass and make you do it for
me
<_chaos> Then you would be arrested after they checked the
logs!
<CCDude> shit
<CCDude> your still a fucking nerd
<_chaos> And your still an idiot. :D

<kuribo> cacti: got any porn haiku?
<CactusJac> Ejaculation
<CactusJac> Spray your load onto my face
<MikeSweetser> It's what's for dinner.

<kt> i got my tongue pierced
<Eamon_the_goth17> really
<Eamon_the_goth17> so whats it like have a rod and two balls
in your mouth??

<RQ> im gonan go in and tweak with it again
<RQ> gonna!
<ZephyrX> gonan
<RQ> hehe
<ZephyrX> the pre-pubescent barbarian
<RQ> LMAO

<QuoteBawt> I know very few girls into emulation, even fewer
into drinking "beer" and even fewer with an IQ above room
temperature
<freeweed> <QuoteBawt> I know very few girls <--- if you wanna
say something just say it
<scienide_> wimiins should go back to the kitchen

<JungleMason> There's a hole in my heart that can only be
filled by you.
<Gabealicious> Have you tried epoxy?
<JungleMason> Yes, and the smell reminds me of you.
<Gabealicious> Or... maybe some of that spray foam
insulation...
<JungleMason> I LOVE that shit.
<Gabealicious> me too!
<JungleMason> Tastes GREAT on a Triscuit.
<Gabealicious> Yes ... some folks call it 'ez cheez'
<JungleMason> Burger King calls it "Ranch Dip."

<flawed> i bet #mensa is like #lesbians .. except it's a bunch
of retards pretending to be smart, instead of a bunch of guys
pretending to be lesbians.