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* AlecWire fires a crossbow dart through the arrow, landing it
in Foe's crotch.
Foenix: HA!  Joke's on you!  I had no plans to use that for
years!

<Rosipam> (is glad she has AOL now)
<Rosipam> ^_^
...
<Zack`> Rosipam?
<Rosipam> Hello.
<Zack`> When did you get AOL?
<Rosipam> A few weeks ago.
<Zack`> What did you have before that?
<Rosipam> Microsoft Internet Explorer.
<Zack`> Ah
<Zack`> What do you like about AOL?
<Rosipam> It's faster.
<Zack`> Wow.
<Zack`> What was your old Internet connection?
*** Rosipam (quickchat@=RWNRPD119P.ipt.aol.com) Quit
(Connection reset by peer)

<caleb> "you're only running from yourself"
<caleb> i yelled that after a pair of joggers once in the
early 90s.
<caleb> i thought it was hilarious.
<caleb> i think there might have been some mescaline involved.

*** Joins: SYch0 ([email protected])
<SYch0> coo
<SYch0> just put my old computer in my new case
<ikk|q3a> wow!
<TheFlux2k> duz it magically run faster?
<SYch0> butholes
<SYch0> wtf do I even talk to u ppl
*** Quits: SYch0 ( <k!15b7>)

<slutknght> has anyone registered microsoft.org or .net?

<Hydrac7> nothing  better than seeing the reaction on fellow
classmates faces after explaining bukkake for them
<Alice`> Nothing better than seeing the reaction on fellow
classmates faces' after demonstrating bukkake to them
<Aboshi> Alice: The reaction all over their faces.

<Lifeforce> way to make your kids afraid that you'll catch
them looking at porn- if you do, start beating off next to
them without explanation or even talking.
<Seppel> LF is gonna be divorced fast.

<spazzer> !quote *_bas*
<festis> <_Bas> stop fucking quoting me

<SinclairC> Anyone been to Taco Bell lately?
<Piccolo> No. I hate mexican. :]
<SinclairC> Taco Bell isn't Mexican, it's Taco Bell
<Piccolo> No. I hate Taco Bell. :]
<SinclairC> Taco Bell isn't Taco Bell, it's hamburgers
<Piccolo> No. I hate Hamburgers. :] Cheeseburgers are a
different matter.
<SinclairC> Taco Bell isn't hamburgers, it's Dragonball Z
<Piccolo> Damm you

*|Truth| Thinks he should teach moe a lesson in "Fucking Fine
Bitches 101"
<moes_19> Truth - the finest bitch you've ever fucked sweats
through its tongue.
<moes_19> dipshit
<Puedlfor> Ouch.

<elfpower> I wonder why they don't make kumquat juice?  i
mean, kumquats are pretty good.
<apollo> probably because it sounds like a mixture of semen
and vaginal juice.

<Grizzly_Addams> So? I just want your Mac address.
<AngryChicken> ...this is a PC ;-)

<zhevinakeer> I'm 3/4ths polish, 1/4th italian.  I can cook, I
can eat, and I DAMN well know how to put a screen door on a
submarine.

<lude> Are they streaming the superbowl anywhere?
<@WinX> yes.
<@WinX> http://your-fucking-tv/

<Rune> my car blew up when half a dozen of diaz's friggin
cronies rammed their cars into mine
<+Shadow> lol
<+Shadow> heh I hate it when someone cuts you off in a
motorcycle and bumps you into a cop
<+Shadow> and then you try to run away but you can't get on
the bike with the cop near
<+Shadow> so you have to kill the cop
<+Shadow> then you have two stars for no real reason
<Rune> I hate it when taxis make sharp turns when you're going
high speed on a motorcycle
<Jamie_M> for a second there
<Jamie_M> i thought "wait shadow owns a motorcycle"
<Jamie_M> but then i realized nobody in here EVER talks about
real life.

<James> I had an idea the other day.. Set up a website for all
the people around the world who work in any form of customer
reaching job. Everyone pays a membership fee each month, and
this money goes into a pot. Then when a tech support person
has a customer who really doesn't get it, they can use the
money in the pot to hire a hitman.. It all goes around, so
people will never have to deal with completely retarded
customers again.

* Faetan is gonna kill Santa for this...
* Santa_Clause is now known as Steve
<Steve> >_>
<Steve> <_<

<Chapdizzle> i fucking hate when people think guys should
shave their chest. Its what makes us men, suck a fat dick.
shaving bodily hair is for women. my chest hair serves
multiple uses such as floss, fishing line, warmth, crumb
catcher, and if i wanted i could pull a shitload of it out and
make a net to catch small animals or fish

<SaetheR:#916> why are stupid people my managers?
<phear:#916> because they make horrible employees

<SPD-DMN> yo theres a fucking swat team on the road accross
from me
<SPD-DMN> im going to check it out
<RockShox> SPD-DMN will be back in 10 to 20

<TWK|Tharensk> im sure you could've googled it
<Fneb> nice to know people still haven't learnt to google :/
<Accipiter> Nice to know that some ppl still can throw
arrogant comments on ppl who doesn't know the entire world
encyclopedia :/
<skenk> yea because google is clearly in an obscure corner in
britannica as far as public knowledge goes

<blabur93> I swear it was the most disgusting thing I've ever
seen
<Zoogle> like all male senior citizen bukkake nasty?
<blabur93> ........ no
<blabur93> but thanks, now i just imagined the most disgusting
thing ever
<Zoogle> np, anytime

<BrantB> OMG!
<CecilPL> what?
<BrantB> I just used an acronym for Oh My God for the first
time ever

<cade> zzz, you wanna kill yourself or something?
<zZz-> cade, I've attempted so many times and failed, it's not
even funny..
<zZz-> Accually, it is kinda funny.

<Colby> Some people are like Slinkys. They don't really do
anything, but it's still funny when one of them takes a tumble
down the stairs.

*** Yukanojo sets mode: +b stupid!people@everywhere
(Yukanojo): PLEASE WORK PLEASE WORK PLEASE WORK
*** Renegade_R ([email protected]) has joined #help
(Yukanojo): Damn, didn't work
(Renegade_R): what?

<slac`> there's this mineral ( formula: (Mg,Fe)7Si8O22(OH)2 )
which was found in Cummington, MA.
<slac`> it is therefor called: Cummingtonite
<[Ci]CougarFou> that sounds like a dangerous mineral.  I bet
you have to wash your hands throughly after handling it.

<Kansas|Working> I went to the Isle of Wight Once too, there
was this guy there who had one leg and was jumping down the
street, it was funny, reminded me of a pogo-stick.
<Jochta> Oh, so yuo find disabled people funny?
<Kansas|Working> Only if they remind me of a garden toy.

<TURBOMEAT> arguing over musical taste is pointless, really
<ScumDog> pretty much
<TURBOMEAT> it's subjective
<mightyflo> not when you have ops. :)

<The_Sicness> Sex is like a card game, if you don't have a
good partner, then you better have a good hand.
<MrPanda> O_o
<MrPanda> and it's better to play with a group
<MrPanda> than to play by yourself :D

<Adiemus-Away> [GleebAway] Adiemus has returned from doing the
dishes (Away for 1day 15hrs 23mins 39secs)
*** Adiemus-Away is now known as Adiemus
<Adiemus> damn that's a lot of dishes =

<Fryth> ah, math jokes
<Fryth> don't drink and derive

<R0SS1> theres a new technology place in my city and i know a
couple of dudes who are gonna steal some tv's from it...some
sony 45inch flat panel hdtv plasma diplay tv's
<R0SS1> seriously
<R0SS1> i'm gonna get one for cheap ass fuck
<R0SS1> as
<R0SS1> lol
<here4ever> lol
<Bearxor> lol

<Entwife>  I sometimes think we have one collective mind here
that we just pass around occasionally
<Entwife>  when we aren't using it as a coaster or something

<bb> Don't spend two dollars to dry clean a shirt. Donate it
to the Salvation Army instead. They'll clean it and put it on
a hanger. Next morning buy it back for seventy-five cents.

<[CJ]> i feel old when i'm reading the centerfold data in
playboy and see that the centerfold was born sometime around
the year i graduated high school :\
<Boyzoid> heh
<Boyzoid> old, or dirty
<Boyzoid> ?
<[CJ]> both
<[CJ]> but dirty i'm ok with

<BloodFromStone> I think my bathroom has the perfect geometry,
so that no matter where or how something is dropped, it ends
up in the toilet.

<Zoogle> So my mom comes in to my room and starts bitching
about how pirating software is immoral and wrong and is worse
than stealing.
<Zoogle> When she's all done she gives me 2 cd's and says "Oh,
and can you copy these for me?"

(Lp|dust1n[WWGL]) god damn
(Wheelman56) ?
(Lp|dust1n[WWGL]) this bread is hard
(Lp|dust1n[WWGL]) fuck!
(Lp|dust1n[WWGL]) I thru it at the window and the window is
broke
(Lp|dust1n[WWGL]) brb

<Kaladam> I just heard somebody scream "WHAT THE FUCK" down
the hall from me
<Kaladam> some dudes roommate jizzed on his face

<prence> you masturbate too much if your mom has to snap your
tube sock over her knee to get it in the washer

* webby_g well chuffed now
<[smee]> lol
<[smee]> make me feel it, hurt me!
<DeuxVisage> guess this was the wrong time to walk in on a
conversation
<DeuxVisage> take your bondage elsewhere
<[smee]> i like her when she plays her dominatrix role
<webby_g> who?
<[smee]> you!
<webby_g> omg
<webby_g> YOU THINK IM FEMALE?

* trib has just *almost* burned his flat to the ground
<bobstay> wow
<bobstay> how did you manage that?
<bobstay> the ground's quite a way away
<trib> I put a big lump of meat int he oven and roasted it
<trib> and used the smoke detector as a timer

<seelet> the frat house down the road doesnt even have wep on
<seelet> wtf
<HaLLuCiN0> maybe they are to busy drinking beer, smoking
weed, and fucking chicks
<seelet> :(

<@kanaiva> dont be tupid
<@sungroc> im not stupic

<slot|processor> I thought today was the day I would meet a
hot chick reading an oracle book in books-a-million.... but i
was once again wrong.
<sdodson> It turned out to be a dude?
<slot|processor> Worse.
<sdodson> He was reading a MySQL book?

<OmniGurt> <Zophar> Someone hacked my site!
<OmniGurt> (insert dramatic Wing Commander music here

<Skum> had a nigerian woman try and take me home, which was
amusing
<Mendez> did she use the chatup line "my brother, the former
economic minister recently died in suspicious circumstances
but before he died..."

<TomskE`away> omg best thing ever
<TomskE`away> if u get pulled over by like highway cops
<TomskE`away> you go " i bet you are going to sell me a ticket
to the highway cops ball"
<TomskE`away> so they go
<TomskE`away> "highway cops dont have balls"

<8trac> Is it my fault if I think humanity is best seen
through a sniper scope?

<Bushka|W0rkzo0rz> so i ditched her didnt answer her calls etc
<Bushka|W0rkzo0rz> and she totally brushed me
<Bushka|W0rkzo0rz> and hooked up with my mate
<joop`> so you fucked him to make her jealous?

< ElAngelo> it's about the most survival city i've been in in
the US
< RedKennedy> survival isn't an adjective.

<dJOEk> okay, now seriously for a moment
<dJOEk> a dear friend of mine needs to break up with this girl
<\slick> punch her in the face and play sir mix-a-lot
<Crow> slicks solution to every problem.. 100 percent success
rate

<JediDrunkenLlama> YES!
<JediDrunkenLlama> YES YES YES!
<JediDrunkenLlama> score one for the JDL.
<JediDrunkenLlama> I just convinced a telemarketer that I'm
female.

* Toke_ waits for pills to kick in
<Linguica> toke have you been toking
* Toke_ wonders why his desk is sticky
<Linguica> toke have you been stroking

<Woodsman> im waiting for duke nukem forever to come out
<Phoenix> Damn, now that's patience.

insane_elmo88: sometimes i get serious anal pressure
insane_elmo88: and i'm not sure if it's fart or shit
insane_elmo88: and sometimes i just gamble, not knowing if i'm
gonna rip a humonguous fart or defecate my pants
insane_elmo88: so far i haven't lost
weaselmaster07: rofl
insane_elmo88: i've shit my pants every time :p
weaselmaster07: roflmao

<sean> Stop adding 2+2! it has taken me five years to develop
2+2, and you "geeks and hackers" are destroying my work!

<MicrophoneJoe> Fuck me Bowmer is fat
<MicrophoneJoe> Are you talking about masturbation ZoK?
<ZoK> What else takes about 5 mins and involves lubrication?
<MicrophoneJoe> Bowmer putting on a T-Shirt

<[empathy]> i found out the other day that i was in the local
newspaper
<[empathy]> under a title along the lines of 'new station
security cameras paying off

<GoldyOrNugget> who would bother decompiling windows
<GoldyOrNugget> thats like breaking in to a top secret company
to steal a mop

<sCoTTiii> is there actually any nice gurls in here, who dont
put out, and arnt sluts and are over 16 ? lol, msg me man
<My`Albanian`Ass> opposite to that, msg me :)

<Eglin> yuck.... didn't think that asking about a c# like
static string method would start a stinking flame war.
<pedantic> Eglin: you are new to irc aren't you

<kisa> GET DRESSES, WE'RE LEAVING IN 2 MINUTES!!!
<Stalker> WHERE are you going?
<kisa> DRESSED, DRESSED DAMMIT!

<BurnStuff>: They asked me if I was bring drugs into Jamaica
<Kmank>: Bringing drugs to Jamaica?
<BurnStuff>: Yeah
<Kmank.: Thats like briging slim-fast to Ethiopia!

<friction> hey hey.
<Turbovec> yo yo yo flapjack
<friction> i... don't know what that means.
<Turbovec> its raper talk, you're not supposed to understand
dawg ;-)
<FlipTopBox> Turbovec: i believe you either mean "rapper" or
"rapist".  considering the context, i'm supposing the first.

<Affe> dude why isa alcohol legal and weed not?
<Ouro[420]> I know
<Affe> i can type and drive stoned off my ass no proeblem
<Ouro[420]> Yeah
<Affe> but drunk i can't'ed do to jack shit
<Ouro[420]> Like type
<Ouro[420]> And think
<Affe> exvatcyL!

<ScumDog> rah
<ScumDog> this "waking up in the morning" stuff is interesting