bash.org archive

<NekoGuy> Hey Guys, long time no see, ever since that fucking
war on terror started, I'm currently building several
strategic size nuclear weapons, and wanted you're opinion,
I've secured weapons grade plutonium, now I can't decide, gun
type or implosive war heads? I'm gonna mount them on #
1283-8171-200 Deep Strike Cruise Missiles, so weight is an
issue
<NekoGuy> um... wrong channel/server
<NekoGuy> sorry
<Xypher> if that was an attempt to be funny it sucked.
<NekoGuy> No, it was seriously the wrong channel/server
<NekoGuy> fucking idiot.
<Robby> implosive war head
<NekoGuy> Really? Thanks.

<Gygaxis> and never use your knife on the screaming guys
<Muro> Nah, those are okay to shoot. Just never knife the ones
with bombs for hands.
<Gygaxis> muro: those are the ones that scream
<Muro> The shooty ones don't scream at all?
<Gygaxis> not really
<Gygaxis> the ones with bombs CONTINUOUSLY scream though
<Wataru> Can you shoot the bombs?
<Muro> Yeah. The 'splode REAL good.
<fabutron> THIS CONVERSATION KILL BRAIN

(ori) I just watched the movie "Malcolm X"!!
(ori) but I have a question
(ori) What happend to the other nine malcolm movies?

<Tisha> So we were watching a veggie tales movie
<Tisha> and jonah, the asparagus, was talking about this place
he doesn't want to go to
<Tisha> but like the lord needs his message delivered
<Tisha> and he doesnt' want to go there because everyone slaps
one another with fish
<Tisha> and I kept thinking "is that some secret irc
reference?"

<gambit32> Would you like an orgasmic disorder?
<gargos> No... I've got homework to do.

<AlexChiu> I should check my hotmail account.  See what
happened to that psycho 13 year old bisexual girl who wanted
to be my girlfriend

<KyleAFK> YESSSSSSSS; got it working
<Const> Your penis?
<KyleAFK> YESSSSSSS!

<Xta-C> i really need a gf
<Xta-C> ROFL
<Xta-C> gf3 even
<Xta-C> but yeah, a gf would be nice

<upper-> it fears change
<upper-> just like grandmas that refuse to use microwave ovens
<vlMbh> my grandmother used to warm up her microwave oven!
<vlMbh> i went over for dinner one day and she turned it on
for 4 mins on
high
<vlMbh> with nothing in it
<vlMbh> i was like.. uhh what ARE you doing
<vlMbh> " warming it up "

<CARNAGE|dnd> This girl im talking to keeps telling me she
wants to jump my bone..=/
<Karnage> tell her it's a short ride

<OutLore> your the moron that believed us, i's not my fault
your tent fell in the river

<vsync> my hand is banging against the keyboard, seizure-like
<tokage> vsync: is your masturbation coordination nerve acting
up again?:)

<noam`wm> I was studying Physics, right. Magnetic fields.
There was a drawing in the book to demonstrate how the
direction of the field is always orthogonal to the direction
of the force. to do that, they drew a dot, 4 vectors of field
and 4 directions of force, orthogonal to them.
<noam`wm> I painted the background in red and added SIEG HEIL.

*** Ryan_ sets mode: +b *!*@*.homosexual.opers
<vanity> wow
<vanity> you just banned 85% of the channel

kakoru> Okay, I watching pr0n on my comp and after watching it
for a while,I spilled my future kids are on my keyboard..My
parents are probably going to see this any minutes by now!!  
WHAT SHOULD I DO??
Kapoop> Jesus gave you a tongue for a reason

<Rjx> was last day of school today
<Rjx> loads of people signed my shirt
<vampireuk> I remember some wise ass signed "wide load" on
mine
<Rjx> I went round writing "www.goatse.cx" on people's

<+Cowface> I saw some fella at EA with the last name Teh.
<@Joshums> hahaha
<@Joshums> Hilarious
<+Cowface> Asian character. I was hoping to see a last name
LoL in the office next to his.
<@Joshums> it's funny cuz in the phone book it would say "Teh
Firstname"
<+Cowface> Haha.
<+Cowface> It was like... Wein Teh or something.
<+Cowface> Something along those letters.
<+Kirbyblade> We should find someone named Fag0t Teh
<+Kirbyblade> There is apparently a Billy Silly in some
phonebook
<@Joshums> it would be funny if his middle name started with
an R
<@Joshums> in the phonebook it would say Teh Wein R
<+Cowface> Hahah
<+Kirbyblade> Hahaha

* Quits: zytel ([email protected])
(Quit: You need only two tools. WD-40 and duct tape. If it
doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and
shouldn't, use the tape.)

<Geekzilla> "Ah. I see here you were a Geek Squad Special
Agent"
<Geekzilla> "Yes, sir. Three years in the field. I was quite
good at my job"
<Geekzilla> "I see. Well, thanks for coming in to interview,
unfortunately we have no need for your services"
<Geekzilla> "But... but I thought you said you needed an
experienced, talented IT tech?!"
<Geekzilla> "Exactly.  Good luck in your job search"

<@be> Coworker arguing about NTP with me.
<@pronoun> tell them you don't have time for that

<duk0r> Vegetable oil is made out of vegetables. Olive oil is
made out of olives. So what the fuck is baby oil made out of?

<firefighter_scott>  Notice  «Once a computer beat me at
chess, but it was no match for me in kickboxing.»

<kingmob> i thought i caught an obscure reference in the last
buffy
<kingmob> so i emailed one of the writers and asked him about
it
<kingmob> he just responded and told me i was right
<kingmob> i transcend mere dorkiness at this point.

<@Drezdar> This summer I'm gonna buy a DDR pad.  I figure I
can kill three birds with one stone by doing this:  1) play a
game, 2) exercise, 3) swear off heterosexuality for good.

< Tobester> I downloaded a file named JESSICA ALBA LESBIAN
PORN SEEN DIVX at 12mb and it was a guy fisting himself

<synnex> AND I'M LIKE "THE BROADWAY PRODUCTION I JUST WROTE
ENTITLED 'HITLER ON ICE'... IT'S LIKE CATS BUT WITH LESS CATS
AND MORE HITLER... AND IT'S ALL ON ICE!!"

<E-Claire> So how can I help?
<Mochomi> I just wanna know how to get on well with my bf,
y'know?
<E-Claire> Ah. Well, I recommend you make him feel as good as
he thinks he is...try laughing at his little jokes.
<Mochomi> And if he doesnt tell funny jokes?
<E-Claire> Laugh at his little penis.

<kisama_> http://www.washu.org/cosplay/kat09/
katsucon-09-042.jpg
<kisama_> AND THIS IS WHY YOU DON'T LET FAT GIRLS NEAR A MAI
COSTUME
<DrNick668> i try not to let fat girls near anything, but its
physically impossible. they're closer to everyting by default

<worldspawn> <-- so gay
<worldspawn> FUCK
<worldspawn> wait

<RunningRed> Actually, I'd love a tattoo over my belly and
groin that looks like Uncle Sam from the Army's old "We want
you" campaign, with my dick replacing his index finger
<RunningRed> Sort of a 3-D version

<DTOX> DenverJeepGuy : well check out my picture and see if I
look too old for you
<DTOX> babyangelcakes1405 : damn ur hott!
<DTOX> DenverJeepGuy : so do you like college guys like me?
<DTOX> babyangelcakes1405 : yeah...
<DTOX> this 14 year old says she can't fuck me
<DTOX> 'cause she's grounded
<DTOX> but in a month she can

<Drestar> Are the fam guy dvd rips in svcd only?
<OldSkoolS> Drestar: of course
<OldSkoolS> pointless to release dvd rips in vcd
<OldSkoolS> and don't get started on divx
<OldSkoolS> friends don't let friends do divx
<OldSkoolS> divx is a gateway format
<OldSkoolS> you'll download divx, won't think it's so bad,
next thing you know, you'll be downloading asf
<OldSkoolS> then real media

<NMO> MY MONITOR IS FUCKED.
<sheeps> it got lucky ay?
<NMO> Yeah, my subwoofer is such a fucking slut.

<Uncle_Istavan> I had some friends once but they keep leaving
me
<Uncle_Istavan>You there?

<tobester> i wish more people would conform to stereotypes so
I could be more racist

* Sjabby throws a keyboard at ZondrZout
* Sjabby Quit
<ZondrZout> I pressed ALT+F4
<Karyon> lol

<eldee> jedi kite.. that'd be a bad ass game
<friedegg> yeah
<boozie> HAHA
<eldee> fly kites in a park with other jedi.. try to light
saber the other guys string
<boozie> oh.. i thought i was gonna be about jedi jews
<boozie> stealing nickels and shit
<eldee> that'd be jedi kike you idjit
<boozie> ah.. thats right
<eldee> get your derrogatory slurs straight
<BombScare> man, every time i think someone in here cant get
any dumber boozie steps up

<Blorb> AH JESUS FUCK WHAT KIND OF PERSON LABELS A BACKSTREET
BOYS SONG AS A TOOL SONG???

<Donitz> Sleep! From Blamco! Its kinda like dying - but
without the commitment!

<nicks> I drew the most realistic cock you'd ever see on a
graphic calculator yesterday in math class

<eGagz-Trevor`> i spilt weiner juice in my lap
<blue[2q]> WHAT?!
<eGagz-Trevor`> the stuff that comes out of those cans with
those vienna weiners

<Pikaben> Dude. I just heard my little sister shout "I'm not
naked!".
<Pikaben> Should I go check what's going on?

<Auspex> how do i decompile a .c in windows?

<Lady> wat does your nick mean or stand for
<Gandalf> you serious?
<Lady> wat i say
<Gandalf> I just can't believe that you don't know where
Gandalf comes from
<Lady> sorry i'm way behind you lovey
<Gandalf> it's ok.. do you watch porn?
<Lady> not that much
<Gandalf> oh ok.. it's the name of a porn star
<-- Lady has quit (Quit: Leaving)

<Kiell> My system clock is gaining one minute every twelve
hours.
<Kiell> As a result, I'm completing tasks slightly quicker
than normal.
<Kiell> I don't like it.

<DrWoody> lol wtf...  I just got this email: "[Fwd: eHow To
Ask Someone On  A Date] from MOM"

(fG) I heard this story today at work
(fG) this guy from swindon university, did a test to find out
the IQ's of Europe's countires
(fG) and the Ukraine came bottom or some shit
(fG) so Ukraine found out and called him saying like "we heard
man, come visit us, we'll pay, we'll show you our inventions
etc"
(fG) so he said "yeah cool"
(fG) so he got the tickets in the post, along with itineries
of his week
(fG) and he went to the airport, got on the 'plane
(fG) and got off in Budapest.
(fG) Hungary.

<Scofco> I wish I invented Jesus

<slyfox> lol
<slyfox> dude! I typed "lol" with my head!!!

[+[-BONG-]] small things amuse small minds....
[detepe] bong: not true, most of the cheerleaders I know love
big dicks :(
[+[-BONG-]] kind of leaves you out huh?
[detepe] bong: yeah, it sucks :(

<Keiichi> i love having a 5-CD changer and a shitty memory
<Keiichi> it's like an endless supply of new music

<nick> grah windows just crashed again, unstable crap.
<yukito> Windows isn't unstable, it's just spontaneous.

<Kazz> Everybody kept screeching "DON'T DO IT LOOK AT ALL
YOU'VE GOT TO LIVE FOR" and he was like "no im gona do it" and
I said "How?" and he said "Knife through the heart" and I was
like "Wicked.  Send pics."
<Sharkey> My favorite one was back in #verge years ago.
Finally after I ribbed her for about an hour she said that
she'd slashed her wrists because of me. I asked her if she was
typing with her tongue.
<Kazz> I suggested he fall on a chainsaw.  He liked the
messiness.

<JKoss> My jokes are like Cheetos:
<JKoss> "Dangerously Cheesy!"

[ Stryker  ) OMGZ ASLZ
[ Stryker  ) ^_^
[ AnFguy   ) omg like
[ AnFguy   ) 14/f/naked
[ Stryker  ) omg like
[ Stryker  ) 13/f/OMG
[ Stryker  ) w/ pix ^_^
[ AnFguy   ) pix u say>
[ AnFguy   ) we should do tradsies
[ Stryker  ) omgz you have piz too?!?!
[ Stryker  ) HERE_THEY_ARE_JPG.EXE

<PENGUIN_FUCKER> LINUX RULES ALL!!!!!
<PENGUIN_FUCKER> LINUX RULES ALL!!!!!
<PENGUIN_FUCKER> LINUX RULES ALL!!!!!
* PERL_ZEALOT has been kicked by PERL_ZEALOT (cock in mouth)
* PERL_ZEALOT ([email protected])
has joined #xxxxxxxx
* ChanServ sets mode +o PERL_ZEALOT
<PERL_ZEALOT> whoops XD
<PERL_ZEALOT> Stupid auto-complete

<Soronel> Just so everyone knows, if a life suddenly appears,
I have dibs
<Soronel> I'm not likely to get one otherwise

<Tuxedocat> The other day i noticed some similarities between
Willy Wonka's chocolate factory and a meth lab
<Tuxedocat> if you stay there a while you see some strange
shit
<Tuxedocat> there's stuff that can kill you if you mess with
it
<Tuxedocat> it's run by a strange guy who doesn't like
visitors

<ckjesus2k> Jews are so...Jewish
<pyristorm> HEY, no insults on this channel!

<xTaVx> im bored
<EvilChatOp> you're aways bored
<EvilChatOp> go masterbate or somethign
<xTaVx> brb

<RonZombie> m/
<RonZombie> pretend thats a little fist making devil horns
<Aboshi> Then pretend it's cool
<RonZombie> HELLO BURN WARD
<RonZombie> MAJOR BURNAGE

<[Shinji]> Arrrr... bend over laddie and I'll show ye a
fishstick that makes it's OWN tatar sauce....#($*

<photovoric> jesus fucking christ
<photovoric> is  masturbation

<RallyCat> All this talks about cats is making me crave
chinese food.

<crowke> With the current web2.0 hype, I think Mary Poppins
should have an Ajax-powered website at http://
super.cali.fragi.listic.expi.ali.do.cio.us.

<Sebastian> My computer is more than a little confused
<Sebastian> My DVD player thinks it's a zip drive . . .

<Shinsa-Chan> somebody talks english?
<KidMorbo> I only speak a few words in english
<Shinsa-Chan> well, don` t worry..tell me anything
<KidMorbo> "I want to fuck you NOW", for example
<KidMorbo> Pero no es algo que se pueda decir para iniciar una
conversación ¿no?

<rootd> Got my room down to about 35-40% fragmented... much
better than the 70-80% earlier
<Jeian> you defragmented your room?
<rootd> yea
<Jeian> too much computer for you... :]

<UberDuper> I need an optical mouse.
<UberDuper> My balls keep getting all crusty.