bash.org archive

<Phroziac> why do they make such huge suvs?
<Phroziac> i went to a car dealership today and saw one with a
hood that was higher than the roof on my friend's volvo.
<Phroziac> and it's an OL, it's not like it's a small car.
<Dawson> At the rate they're going, there will be SUVs big
enough to use Hummer H1s as escape pods.

<Shuichi> but i'm an optimist
<Slick_Wil> so glass half full then?
<Shuichi> are you implying i have a drinking problem
Slick_Wil?

MightyMooquack> Huh. This is something I've not seen in C code
before...
Iconoplast> comments?
Iconoplast> HA HA HA BURN

<nimja> so I am afraid I might have scared some people in my
photo iii class tonight
<nimja> this fucking housefly landed on my notes in the middle
of a lecture on split-filter printing techniques
<nimja> and so I used my ultimate nimja powers to kill it with
my bare hand
<nimja> LIGHTNING FAST.
<nimja> (it seriously was impressive)
<nimja> but then I stabbed said housefly three (or maybe ten)
times with my ballpopint pen while yelling "DIE!! DIE!!!
DIE!!!"
<nimja> *class went silent*
<nimja> I said: "Sorry, it just seems like it was the thing to
do right then."
<nimja> prof didn't miss a beat, pretended to wipe bug guts
off his tie, and then proceeded to discuss the use of filters
1/4 vs 0/5

<Teromen> but have you ever tried doing it to a goat? they
look really soft
<Teromen> erm, wrong window :|

<009> no... i mean, what is the ascii value of the number 10??
<009> like for space its 32
<009> for l its 76
<poo_al> yes i know what you mean
<009> therefore, what's for the number 10???
<poo_al> 10 is a line feed
<009> I DON'T MEAN WHAT WILL GIVE ME FOR THE VALUE OF 10...
<poo_al> then what do you mean?
<009> I WANT THE ASCII VALUE WHICH WILL GIVE ME A NUMBER 10

<-- aroariaN has quit (Quit: Connection Reset by Mexicans with
wirecutters)

<Xenocide> what are those things called....
<Xenocide> y'know, they leik deposite ink.. onto cds
<Xenocide> WTF ARE THEY CALLED
<Xenocide> arrgh
<Nd> Pens

<homerj> I wish I had a detachable penis
<homerj> then when I went out as a woman, I wouldn't have to
tape it up

<ab0mination> Snow White has been sacked by Disney
Productions. Apparently she was caught sitting on Pinochio's
face singing "Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies".

<MassHysteria> I must have been high when I did up my linux
box.
<MassHysteria> fuckin a.. this sucks.. now I'm gonna haveta
reinstall everything.
<MassHysteria> ah well.. I'll chalk it up to experience
<Hominid> "I had to reinstall Linux.  'Cause I got high,
'cause I got high."

<@apexthief> Okay we have taco tuesday I need other food day
of the week ideas
<@AltRhombu> taco wednesday
<@AltRhombu> taco thursday

<Yomanman> we're gonna have a southern wedding!
<PowerRad> Also known as a family reunion

«FivePee»: brb gotta piss and get a cock
«FivePee»: omg
«FivePee»: get a coke
«Electronut»: rofl

<Kunda> I wanna see a Jerry Springer episode where a
Scientologist gets into a scrag with a Raelian when they can't
agree which planet humans were sent to earth from

[ Parroflex ] I have a badass hangover.
[ @Ashley ] Don't drink so much next time.
[ Parroflex ] Thank you for that, Ashley.
[ Parroflex ] Ow.
[ @Ashley ] You're very much welcomed.
[ @David ] Have a few shots to numb the pain
[ Parroflex ] Thank you for that entirely unhelpful advice,
David.
[ @David ] You won't feel any pain with no head.
[ Parroflex ] Owowow. There is a medieval re-enactment going
on inside my head.
[ Parroflex ] Fat geeks with cardboard armour are arguing
about what type of swords they'd have had back then.

<Delusion> I'm reminded of someone I worked with who was about
35 and who dyed a streak of grey in his hair to look
'distinguished'.
<Delusion> Instead, he looked 'gay'.

DoUBle  ChiN 47: omg im gonna be the most popular kid in
school tomorrow
rcknouttonight: why
DoUBle  ChiN 47: i have tic tacs

<Belhade> my gf wanted to use Saran Wrap one night when we
didn't have anything else
<Belhade> I was like, uhm, no, it's a dick, not a turkey
sandwich
<Dipstick`> it's beef... but not that kind of beef
<Belhade> caucasian...the other white meat

<DigDug> Acero: don't look a gift horse in the mouth is what i
say
<Acero> DigDug: yeah, i guess i should just stick my dick in
and find out if i get herpes for myself!

*** gamingsloop0r is now known as sloop
<@sloop> parents
<@sloop> fs
<@sloop> when u leave home remember this important lesson
<@sloop> on a sunday
<@sloop> when ur not doing anything
<@sloop> phone them
<@sloop> or
<@sloop> they will phone u when ur busy
<@sloop> and expect a 1 hr conversation
<@ronindm> well it is fathers' day
<@sloop> oh shit
<@sloop> brb making a call

<NeonDawn> Does anyone know if there exists some irc-script
(bX or egg) that lets other users open a shell through dcc?
<cwd> NeonDawn: i think you're looking for GetOwned v1.3
<NeonDawn> cwd: thanks, i'll try it

sionanomics: know anyone that knows loads about cars?
Teh Supreme Weez: Yeah.
Teh Supreme Weez: My mate Jeeves.
sionanomics: he online?
Teh Supreme Weez: Yeah.
Teh Supreme Weez: www.ask.com
sionanomics: :(

<CabbagePatchKid> I AM THE PHYSICAL INCARNATION OF FEAR
<andy> Who knew evil would be so chubby.
<CabbagePatchKid> You can change my diaper too. JUST LIKE A
REAL BABY.
<CabbagePatchKid> YES WRITHE IN TERROR, MEAGER HUMANS.

<JRichman> "Easy" only equals "better" for crack addicts and
web developers.

<zer0man> i wish someone told me that having a girlfriend was
going to be difficult
<zer0man> or if they told me that, I wish i listened

<InkyTriviaBot> Question: what was the first zeppelin made of?
<InkyTriviaBot> answer:  --------
<AlexisMachine> fire

<@Gibbon> My cat had a better dinner than I did tonight.  It
has "sliced duck with olives" ... I had a couple of bits of
toast
<@Gibbon> there's something fundamentally wrong with that

<Pseudonym> I got my mom addicted to GTA3 by accident ><

<pcline> ugh, i'm 2nd guessing all of my own decisions today :
<maff> haha paul i do that all the time
<maff> ...or do I...

punch: ugh, i feel like im in a time warp
punch: working on a pentium 200 webserver
punch: fixing a customer's pentium 2 233 machine
punch: loading win98se on it
OSSThe: ewww
punch: i am in some sort of late 90s hell

<VC-Scar> anyone wanna help a complete freakin idiot
<ffejdogg> do you have tits?
<VC-Scar> i have nipples..

<X2> [AlekaiTalon] Uh-oh, watch out ladies, Alekai Talon is in
the house
<Tyr> yea ladies, watch out
<Tyr> he might steal ur men :p

[blokhead]: cell phones are amazing.. every time I think they
cannot get more annoying, they get twice as annoying. It's
like Moore's law applied to annoyance
[blokhead]: I'm anticipating the new cellphones that have a
megaphone built-in. That way, your conversations will be
clearly audible to everyone within 500 feet

<Gau|Gone> bahaa
<Gau|Gone> i stroll into living room
<Gau|Gone> and my bro has a girl over
<Gau|Gone> so i'm like "hmmmm prolly should have put on pants
today!"

<Mich> do you call a drinking fountain thing a water fountain
or a bubbler?
<Mystiq> who the fuck would call it a bubbler
<Mich> it must be a regional thing
<Mich> everyone here says bubbler
<Mystiq> yeah well your state voted bush

<Ariakas> What's white, black, and red all over and has
difficulty passing through a revolving door?
<Dolands> A nun with a spear through her head!

<Hi-Nu> My brother is trying to sing tot he opening score of
LotR
<Hi-Nu> The problem is
<Hi-Nu> THERE ARE NO FUCKING LYRICS

<Glide20> americans are so stupied

<U-571[ChaosFilms]> i love meh gf
<U-571[ChaosFilms]> i love saying that i have a gf
<ViPeR`> i have a gf too :D
<ViPeR`> i love her too :)
<[AoS]Albatros> YEAH I HAVE A GEFORCE TOO AND I LOVE THAT
GRAPHICS CARD gawddamnit
<U-571[ChaosFilms]> my gf is a real person alba, not some
piece of hardware thats shocks the shit out of your dick when
it gives you head
<[AoS]Albatros> Nice idea
<[AoS]Albatros> brb

<Salec> how would you go by changing the look of a checkbox in
flash?
<SHiZNiT> add a moustache

<clay> SHUT THE FUCK UP, SOLPIT
<clay> I WILL DESCEND UPON YOUR FUCKING MOTHER IN THE NIGHT
AND SPROUT A BROTHER TO YOU

<patchmonkey> I want to start a line of sex toys called "I
Can't Believe It's Not Dick"

<Lee-Ham> Bush is a raging imbecile. It's times like this I
wish I could live on the moon and take potshots at Earth with
a potato gun.

<JDigital> Final Fantasy VI. Any of you folks played it?
<JDigital> (Quite a few, I'd imagine...)
<Nimduin> There's a VI?
<Nimduin> Is there a Final Fantasy Emacs then?

<Nacho> So, you have several types of tourist: You have the
"I'm on vacation, so I'm just gonna relax" types, that just
wear comfy clothes.
<Nacho> You then have the "I'm in some place special, so I'm
going to dress nice" types.
<Nacho> And then you have the "What happens in $location stays
in $location, so I'm going to dress like an exhibitionist
slut" types.  I like those... ;-)

<Cute_Fuzzy_Kitten> HATE
<Cute_Fuzzy_Kitten> PAIN
<Cute_Fuzzy_Kitten> LOATHING
<Somebob> Can I have some?
<Cute_Fuzzy_Kitten> no.  this is my own personal stock.

<datacide> well
<datacide> and always remember the old saying...
<datacide> no cock is as hard as life
<Rjx> I've never heard that one
<debutante> uh
<debutante> me either
<debutante> FREAK
<Rjx> I think that should have been the line in Forrest Gump

<moira> community name should be unique over all categories,
sucks
<happy> you can't delete communities
<moira> sure you can
<moira> ask hitler

<jimmie> while i was gone
<jimmie> my tivo recored lots of movies with cher in them
<jimmie> i'm not sure what to think

(bi0_away) Universal Realm Enterprises, Inc. (PATHFUSION-DOM)
(bi0_away) PO Box 903
(bi0_away) Volcano
(bi0_away) HI,96785
(bi0_away) US
(bi0_away) HI
(bi0_away) lol
(bi0_away) a city called Hi
(bi0_away) "hi, welcome to hi"
(FenixTxD) Its hawaii
(FenixTxD) idiot.

<cj_> we lost 20,000 rows of customer data
<Twid> cj: eek!
<Twid> I hope the innocent were blamed.
<Kin-San> 20k? holy...
<cj_> we blamed the guy that didn't come in today.
<Kin-San> lol
<Twid> good.  as long as normal business procedures were
followed

<bloodeu> Fortunately, I have a six pack that turns women on
instantly
<skittz> is it bud light?

* dazalyn *wisks* off her bra... aaaahhhhh freedom
<nymph`grl> daz: Hehehe. This is why I love tank-tops with the
shelf bra.
<dazalyn> my boobs are too big for the shelf bra to actually
work...
<dazalyn> i wear them anyway
<dazalyn> lol
<nymph`grl> same here, lol
<Wildcard`> too much information
<nymph`grl> on a DDD it's really hard to keep them in check in
those things. :)
<shayden> too much information?
<shayden> not enough visuals

<a> OS X is POSIX, isn't it?
<b> yea.. without letters P and I

<pleb> hey how long does it take to get back the results from
a fertility test?
<Ouroboros> Do you have a girlfriend?
<pleb> yeah
<Ouroboros> 9 months.

<gorilla> ANY GIRLS HERE
<Lan> yeah, wanna cyber?
<gorilla> YES
<gorilla> HOW
<Lan> sorta like this
* gorilla ([email protected]) Quit (Connection reset by
peer)
<Lan> a little to the left

<DotSPF> just got myself a shitload more lesbo porn
<killck> good?
<DotSPF> damn they have so much more fun when we're not around

Finque: i always tell a girl when i cum
Finque: one time i didn't
Finque: let's just say she bites
Finque: she had specifically told me she wasn't going to take
it in her mouth
Finque: i was like "yeah right bitch"
Finque: so i cum, she chokes, swallows, smile at me
Finque: and bites
tom: wtf
Finque: so i said sorry and that i'd make it up through
cunnilingus
Finque: i got her good and horney
Finque: and bit her clit like it was a hot dog

<+Darkfire> sup nigz
<&Macko> Sup racial slur
<&Macko> how the fornicate are you?

<NobleArc> There's always google, WhiteBicycle.
<NobleArc> Google is like.. The Oracle from The Matrix. O_o
<NobleArc> it knows EVERYTHING.
<WhiteBicycle> good call noble
<NobleArc> Yet at times can be unimaginably useless.

<Kazz> Are you coming on to me?
<Dregan> With a spelling change.
<Dregan> And perhaps without the 'to'.

<Hat> What is seven Q plus three Q?
<Khryptonite> 10q
<Hat> You're welcome.
<Khryptonite> Huh?
<Hat> haha
<Khryptonite> WHAT!?!! stop laughing at me all the time
<Hat> 10Q, when spoken phoenetically, sounds like "thank you".
<Khryptonite> huh?
<Khryptonite> TELL ME WHAT IT MEANS
<Khryptonite> HAT, TELL ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

<Gumby-> so another guy found you sexy.  so what?
<Alchav> I guess you had to be there :/
<Gumby-> I do community theater, where 80% of the guys are
gay.  One time the director came up to me, wanted to make me
feel uncomfortable, and said something like "hey big guy,
so....boxers or briefs?" ...
<Gumby-> so to mess with him, I look at him and say "Neither. 
womens"
<Gumby-> he says "Ooh, that's getting me all excited now."   I
then return with "Look, it's no secret.  I may be strong
enough for a man, but I'm made for a woman".  He laughed and
walked away
<Gumby-> Lesson learned: The key to getting someone to stop
creeping you out, is to out-do them.  :)

<Rossell1> weird thing happened last night
<Rossell1> I had a dream where I was on IRC
<Rossell1> and everybody kept saying potatoes
<ASk> potatoes
<Winquman> potatoes
<Rossell1> :/
<Phobius> Tomato

<BenZor> www.clitical.com
<w|zzy> better not be prono
<BenZor> helpful.
<BenZor> nah
<BenZor> sex lesson site
<w|zzy> ok
<w|zzy> don;t need them
<BenZor> yes u do u fucking virgin
<w|zzy> I have 2 sisters man

<megaHAL> CHESS IS A FUN SPORT, WHEN PLAYED WITH SHOT GUNS.

<JD> AFAIK, Anubis is the only Egyptian god who is often drawn
with an
erect penis.
<JD> Really!
DigiGnðme> I thought they all were.
DigiGnðme> Oh no, that's the Kama Sutra.

<pothead2234> sometimes i wonder what are all the words other
than breasts and food are for
<This_girl> well, words you use in order to reach em