bash.org archive

<Matrix_McCloud> by the way, is "legend of lumpy" our final
answer
<Matrix_McCloud> this is for $100,000
<Matrix_McCloud> you have 2 lifelines
<Tenchi147> I would like to use a life line
<Tenchi147> I want to call a friend
<Matrix_McCloud> you alrady used that one, and all you said
was "WASAAAAAAAAP"

<ck3k> blaze has a job, it's called "leech off parents"

<tch0rt> i dunno, at this point i know i cant go with balls
any bigger
<tch0rt> the balls i have now are plenty big for my mouth

* nufan Is a GENUIS
<nufan> oops

<Ritz> I had the myspace so I could keep in contact with
certain friends
<Ritz> I decided I needed new friends

CreeDi: I made a joke to this chick about how she was grumpy
because she was
beaten a lot as a child, and it turns out she really was.
CreeDi: I felt about as big as a keebler elf testicle.

<+AnimeFreak> X-Bahamut, did i have a fag count of 31?
<+AnimeFreak> err
<+AnimeFreak> frag
<@Tenchi> I'm sure your fag count is much higher.

<Guilty> Surely you see how trite the name "assassin" is [in
Quake III]
<Guilty> Might as well be "Player"

<BillyBob> napolean was 5 feet 7
<BillyBob> that i did not know
<NobleArc> Napoleon
<NobleArc> It's just francais. Spelling en francais isn't that
hard.
<BillyBob> good to know you can catch typos in multiple
languages
<BillyBob> almost as helpful as the microsoft office paperclip

* Gakl grumbles.
<Gakl> you can put linux on an ipod, but you can't access an
ipod from linux. blech
<Summoner> well yeah.  Porting an OS gives a much bigger
epenis than porting an IO driver

* static changes topic to 'necrophila, lie back and crack open
a cold one'

<Raekwon> Matrix 2: "Hey Neo, let's go for a walk" **CRAZY
MATRIX MUSIC** camera angles all over the place, approx time
to walk one block 25 minutes
<BlurryMystr> haha, well yeah. It's the Matrix.
<BlurryMystr> Nothing ever happens plainly in the Matrix.
<Tituba> tying shoes
<Raekwon> just like The Bible
<Tituba> breathing
<Teegus> "Neo! walk the dog" *Kung foo dog shitting action*
<BlurryMystr> Neo: "Boy, this burger looks good."  *agents
leap up, try to steal the burger, Neo has to fight them off
while eating fries*
<Teegus> neo dodges fries leaving onion ring trails
<Tituba> after he finishes killing them all he mutters "now
that's done my way"

* Arsentia pets his cable modem 
* [Toby] fwaps Arsentia. Come to Kansas, the land of tin cups
and string. 
* PresWRK cuts Arse's modem 
* Arsentia cuts Toby's string 
*** Quits: [Toby] (...) 
<Arsentia> Hey! It actually worked! :) 
<[Toby]> Because of you, I had to retie the string. 
<[Toby]> Schmuck. 
<[Toby]> :)

<codive> geez, can't computers GUESS what i want by now?
<syberghost> codive: sure, that's why you keep getting spam
for animal pr0n.

<@Ne[r]d> my father just walked behind me, and saw one of the
buttons on the taskbar "AltaVista's Babe..." :O
<@Ne[r]d> he wanted to see it :p
<@Lizard> lol
<@Vader> lol
<@Vader> Sure, dad, translate away!

<@GameBot> 186. Why is the sky blue?
<Anima-> prism
<@GameBot> Here's a hint: The colour wavel***** ** **** **
******* **** *** ***** *******
<Anima-> :(
<Anima-> haha
<infinitySPZ> ..........
<Serimestari> yyyyyeah.......
<infinitySPZ> This is why some questions shouldn't get into
trivia

<brainbox> Xuberant, please, check your keyboard for stuck
keys
<brainbox> you've clipped Retard-Lock or something

<MEEPY> COULD SOMEBODY HELP ME!? I WANT TO PLAY DOOM2 OVER
NETSCAPE, BUT CAN'T FIGURE IT OUT. I LOAD THE IDSOFTWARE SITE
IN NETSCAPE , THEN START DOOM2 AND JOIN A MAP BUT I NEVER SEE
ANY PLAYERS? IS IT JUST THAT THEY ALL LOOK LIKE MONSTERS? IF
THAT'S THE CASE, I THINK I'M REALLY GOOD!!

<Javin> *I* could put together a flash site that quotes 1000
imaginary people saying they saw a giant space monkey come and
throw flammable poo at the pentagon.  Doesn't make it true.

<TheFlux2k> i just teleport everywhere
<TheFlux2k> walking is for faggots

<ProAlias> re
<ProAlias> phew
<ProAlias> time flies when you're playing Desert Combat
<ProAlias> no wonder the americans are stuck in Iraq
<Jeedo> lol

Alex: I'm so goth even my chocobos are black.

*** Gad is now known as REGISTER.
*** REGISTER is now known as IDENTIFY.
*** IDENTIFY is now known as Gad.
<petn-randall> Gad: /msg nickserv help
<Dark-Jedi> Just wait, his nick will change to "HELP" any
moment now.
*** Gad is now known as HELP.

<Focks> "Can I have a fag?" "You're a fag" "I mean a
cigeratte, mate" "I'm not your mate, you fag!"

<forsaken1> Lesbians aren't sexy, in my opinion. I mean, if
they're lesbians, I'm obviously not gonna get any, so why
waste my time.
<microkid88> forsaken1: lesbos make good porn
<forsaken1> microkid88: But, it's a bunch of licking
<forsaken1> microkid88: I can go to Baskin Robbins and see
that

<darkdragon18> yeah i live in England too
<Crystal> Damnit, the strap on my bra broke.. >_<
<darkdragon18> you shoudl buy a new brassyeah
<Primigenus> "brassyeah"?
<IceDelta> I think he meant brassière ;-)
<Primigenus> ...
<darkdragon18> fuck you, i thnk Id know how to spell words tat
orignate in my own language

<@Marc> However, I do have leather elbow-length gloves and
knee high boots for general use.
...ten minutes of silence...
* @Marc jots that down in "Ways to kill a conversation volume
3"

* mitd apologizes to japh for mix-up but is sure that japh[^y]
has also done many clever things.
<jc> japh did "hello, world" once.  It was pretty awesome.
<japh> No one does "hello world" like I do.
<vroom> I've never seen a more beautiful 1603457 lines of
code.

*** Topic in #cars is 'saab's look like confused suitcases
with wheels'

<Warbum> Hey guys, I'm guilty of "intellectual property theft"
<Warbum> The other day, I walked into a library, got out a
book, went home, and read it.
<Warbum> And the copywright holders didn't even get a dime!

<Badforyou> Does anyone know where you can buy large,
exceptionally strong plastic bags, fake dog poo, sulphuric
acid, aroma therapy candles, and a ten pound dead doberman on
the internet?
<freekoala> all but the dead dog on amazon.com i bet
<freekoala> you could put together your 'amazon.com' wishlist
and send it to people. they will wonder about the theme, but
keep them wondering.

<dot> one sex
<dot> eek
<dot> sec
<dot> damn that typo
<Alexander> sure
<Waldo> paging doctor freud...
<Waldo> paging doctor freud...

<inverse> dick is like the most popular first name for
congressmen

(snowburnt) teengirl: if you had pre in front of teen i would
soooo talk to you

<PufPufPaz> hugo: you were kidding about marrying a 19/f/ca
right?
<hugo> PufPufPaz: Um.. actually, no, and she's a bisexual
vegetarian pagan to boot.
<hugo> My life is weird.
<PufPufPaz> hugo: sounds more interesting than weird.
<hugo> PufPufPaz: May I /msg you? It's complicated. :)
<PufPufPaz> hugo: yeh hope is not for heart related matters, i
suck at that
<hugo> Nah, it's just that I met Kate in a chat-room
<hugo> and now she's sitting 10 feet away and we sometimes go
into the same chat room and chat w/ everyone.
<PufPufPaz> whats wrong with that?
* hugo smiles
<hugo> My wife is doing an impression of 2 parrots having sex.
* hugo shudders
<hugo> brb
<steltek> Is she involving you in that emulation? If not, you
should ask her to demonstrate. :)
<hugo> PufPufPaz: That's not the half of it. She bought one of
those  make-your-own-dildo kits because she wanted her best
friend to have a 'copy' of me
<PufPufPaz> hugo: tmi
<hugo> but you gotta trim your..um.. before you use the mould
<hugo> so I got this .. thing stuck on me. Looked like I was a
human candle.
<PufPufPaz> hugo: really, tmi
<steltek> LOL
<Ralinx> lmao
<hugo> I'll never be able to eat oatmeal again :-/

<im3t8> my last nightmare was of my computer trying to kill me
<Apathetic> really?
<im3t8> but in the end it was just the mouse
<Apathetic> maybe that's metaphoric for something
<Apathetic> :/
<im3t8> its a microsoft mouse
<im3t8> :/

<Zazu> omg
<Zazu> wc
<Zazu> that link you posted
<Zazu> eww
<WC`> yeah it's bad
<Zazu> why do you look at things like that? why not normal
stuff to jack off to, like shuri's links?
<WC`> because it's fun to 0wn you
<Zazu> but do you have ANY idea how hard it was to jerkoff to
that?

<ascii_phil> And if you ever need something to scare children
with[0], I'll
describe the tenant cycle implementation.
<ascii_phil> [0] Well, database-knowledgable geek children.
* daveious is scared enough by the implementation of
footnotes in IRC,
thankyouverymuch

(MikeHunt) she told me to kiss her where it smells funny, so I
took her to New Jersey.

<Diamond> That's because you're spoiled :D
<Diamond> "MOM I NEED A P4 2.4GHz FOR WORD PROCESSING PLZKTHX"
<Diamond> "MAKE SURE IT HAS A GOOD 3D CARD FOR...3D WORDS"

<sparkly> so i have to do this project in my class where we
have to make up a store and create a logo and shit
<sparkly> and my name of the store is gonna be called "less
than three"
<sparkly> and the packaging is gonna have a big <3 on it

<chemical-burn> I just had a bowl of clam chowder explode all
over my face and chest, now I know how a girl feels when she
gives head.

<Looney> godammit I d/led the wrong atlantis ep!
<Unruly> upload it and ask for a refund

<spoob> MCSE is to computers as McDonalds Certified Chef is to
fine cuisine

<Kez> FIND A DISEASE AND CRAWL INTO BED WITH IT PLS THX

* ol has joined #mapcore
<Flashdevil> I will rub my sperm in so many places that they
won't be able to look at themselves in the mirror without
getting pregnant.
<ol> um... did i come in at a bad time?

<vect0r> i think they have something called a "real life" i've
heard the others talking about it
<vect0r> i've never seen any screenshots though
<vect0r> so i have no clue what that is

<Blixt> I wonder if the Korean army uses starcraft tactics
<Taerkar> extending the creep and sending hordes of zergs at
their enemies?
<Taerkar> "You! Mine those crystals. You two, into the gas
factory."
<Blixt> KEKE LA~ OFFICER!

<ckx> i used to drink
<ckx> now i just inject it straight into my arm
<ckx> i think i'm in the upper epsilion of alcoholism

WarpdArchn: lots of christians don't go to church
WarpdArchn: so they never have to meet the other people who
believe the same things they do
WarpdArchn: and therefore never have to lose faith in humanity

<Oceania> you penetrate my mouth
<Oceania> your in-and-outs are furious
<Oceania> sometimes a hair get stuck between my teeth
<Oceania> you always leave that white tasty liquid in my mouth
<Oceania> good ol' toothbrush

<orion> i'd rather pull their addresses and braid a friendship
bracelet with their spines and intestines
<jestuh> <wondering if pen would accept that quote>
<orion> <wondering what the stomach lining looks like draped
inside-out over someone's skull>

<scoob-e> i got in a fight with the lady at CVS cuz she
wouldnt develop the picture of my cock

<Antiarc> What do you call a guy who works in teh shipping
dept. of a fudge factory?
<Antiarc> Seriously.
<Antiarc> They have to have some PC term.
<Treen> Fudge Packaging Consultant.
<VashStampede> I just feel bad for the guy in receiving.

<FreshBrew> BEAT MY CHILDREN
<kolby> You take that B off and I won't even charge ya.

< kakistos> lol. i liked the java compiler.
< kakistos> does the c compiler not tell you what you did
wrong?
< deviant> C is great
< ewan> the Java compiler is all like "you have an
uninitialised variable there, would you like a hug?"
< ewan> gcc is like "raaagh! I do no bounds-checking! Your
mother sucks cocks in hell!"

<Grimp> uh
<Grimp> I think my cd-rom eject si broke
<G_Reaper> Stop putting your drink on it
*** Skky joined the party line.
<Grimp> dammit
<Grimp> my cd-rom drive is dead
<Skky> that's what happens when you use it as a cup holder

ejc> I should go back to using windows, at least there when
something doesn't work, I don't have the illusion that I can
fix it

<Gandalf> at least you arent typical of most yanks here who
hear the word africa and automatically think we drive
elephants to work
<Dinxy> no you drive black people to work

<Chainsaw> If you want to run SELinux, you need to start
installing an SELinux system. You can't just enable that
USE-flag and expect things to work.
* ML-37 grins
<Chainsaw> That's like taking 14 wheels off of your 18-wheeler
and saying "this is now a car, off we go".

<methangas> this is EA's support lines automatic answering
machine; we already got your money, now please go away

<xdeep> does anyone have a computer currently handy

<bugg> hrm
<bugg> $280 million jackpot
<bugg> that's enough to give every man, woman, and child in
the nation one million dollars

<BlazinIndo> you can call me mentally retarded, but i feel
good right about now
<Ludwig> thats cus you're too stupid to know you're mentally
retarded
<Ludwig> its a catch 22
<BlazinIndo> i dont see what your getting at....

<danamania> pfft. exploding batteries. once again a PC
manufacturer copies something apple was doing YEARS ago

<spyd3rman> what about battlenet?
<spyd3rman> are they still using the cd key
<CoMBo> no battlenet checks to see if you have zits and
glasses, then it lets u on

<StreetPsychologist> Wow I just met a chick online who lives
about 10 miles from me.
<punkpet> and her name is ted
<StreetPsychologist> NERD SEX!
<punkpet> create some nerdlings
<punkpet> when he's born it will be the first and last time he
sees female gentalia
<StreetPsychologist> Our geographical proximity is making me
thing MARRIAGE already.
<punkpet> lol
<phenobarbital> you might even take a shower today
<HellKat> no computer nerds breeding, next you know we'll have
children running about with 20 fingers for more efficent
keyboard use and an extra arm for cyber sex

<st|ng-x> sammy try this, you have a 50/50 chance at getting
very ahead...walk into boss' office and yell at him "you SICK
FUCK...gimme a promotion and a serious raise now or I'll tell
your wife everything I saw" then walk out not leaving him a
chance to retort

<skippy> Plastic Jesus he's my fellow,comes in red and
sometimes yellow....ridin' on the dashboard of my car.
<skippy> I don't care if it rains or freezes,I still got my
plastic Jesus.....
<skippy> He don't slip and he don't slide...mainly cuase he's
magnetized.....