bash.org archive

<@harb> Also, the waitress at Applebee's thought we were gay.
< espo> LOL
< espo> why is that?
<@harb> Because Andy's a fag.
< espo> did she say "Are you two gay?"
<@harb> No.
<@harb> She asked if we wanted to split dessert.

<IICV> This is freaky.
<IICV> My dog is sitting there, winking at me.
<JeremiahSmith> He wants you.
<IICV> He wants my grapes.
<JeremiahSmith> Is that what you call them?

<Loco-san> I'm gonna make a game called With Myself, so kids
will say "I'm gonna go play With Myself" and freak their
parents/friends out

<chesed> I couldn't find the food you like
<chesed> I couldn't find a card
<chesed> So I hope these flowers say it best:
<chesed> Dear Lord you make me hard

<yunicus> god has so many stalkers

***Wang has been kicked by Metallica (dammit, stop with the
wang jokes)
<MulletMan> but the memory remains!

<Sharkey> Man, I'm getting flashbacks from Renegade.
Apparently when I was a kid I was so bored I made up little
songs to go with the damned music and now it's all coming back
to me.
<Sharkey> Nothing remarkable, though. Mostly just little
ditties about killing myself.

<MrNonchalant> she dumped me in the worst way possible
<MrNonchalant> Facebook defriend and status change
<MrNonchalant> one day you're in love with a girl who loves
you, you have a romantic dinner, and you have a really nice
moment together
<MrNonchalant> two days later you type her name in Facebook
search and it doesn't autocomplete
<MrNonchalant> it doesn't autocomplete!

<gangee> i would pay for a 44 gigabit back bone
<gangee> but hey
<gangee> i work at macdonalds what can i say :P
<Ufnb> would you like fries with that?

<Jade> they should make a chinese scrabble
<Jade> you have 40000 tokens and they all spell words

<pubatch> my night was much less exciting, I had to explain to
my xgirlfriend why I gave her mother the finger last night. it
was a big misunderstanding, but i didnt handle it well. "Did
you give my mom the finger last night??" 'HAHAH, YES! HAHA'

<Syntax_Crash> I just got a 40x burner to replace my old 8x
<Syntax_Crash> my piracy productivity just went up by 500%

<@Vlad_The1Inhaler> fuck
<@Vlad_The1Inhaler> my cat died
<@Surtsey> LOL
<@Vlad_The1Inhaler> ...
-!- Vlad_The1Inhaler
[[email protected]] has left #sebo
<@Surtsey> oops

<maff> I've got a riot breaking out in my pants
<D1> need some backup?
<D1> I mean...
<D1> ok, that was really gay.
<maff> I don't get down like that d1
<D1> I apologize.
<Guilty> Why dont you just join the cast of Oz and get it over
with D1

<HrdwrBoB_> they are poo :)
<HrdwrBoB_> but hten
<HrdwrBoB_> they are not poo
<HrdwrBoB_> so they are poo and not poo AT THE SAME TIME!!
<Fryboy> quantum poo

<ShyAway> so, if you asked for mint, I wouldn't not give it to
you because you like chocolate
<ShyAway> so, in conclusion, men are chocolate, girls are mint
<ShyAway> and, flat likes men
* ShyAway was kicked by flatface (Stop hitting yourself)
* ShyAway (Shy@zealfiles) has joined #flatface
* ShyAway was kicked by flatface (Stop hitting yourself)
* ShyAway (Shy@zealfiles) has joined #flatface
* ShyAway was kicked by flatface (Stop hitting yourself)
* ShyAway (Shy@zealfiles) has joined #flatface
* ShyAway was kicked by flatface (Stop hitting yourself)
* ShyAway (Shy@zealfiles) has joined #flatface
<MonaLeilani> flat: set mode +I
* ShyAway was kicked by flatface (Stop hitting yourself)
* ShyAway (Shy@zealfiles) has joined #flatface
* ShyAway was kicked by flatface (Stop hitting yourself)
* ShyAway (Shy@zealfiles) has joined #flatface
* ShyAway was kicked by flatface (Stop hitting yourself)
* ShyAway (Shy@zealfiles) has joined #flatface
* ShyAway was kicked by flatface (Stop hitting yourself)
* ShyAway (Shy@zealfiles) has joined #flatface
<flatface> Never
* ShyAway was kicked by flatface (Stop hitting yourself)
* ShyAway (Shy@zealfiles) has joined #flatface
* ShyAway was kicked by flatface (Stop hitting yourself)
* ShyAway (Shy@zealfiles) has joined #flatface
<flatface> This is much more fun

<[werk]chin> i think its wrong for elderly people to be openly
sexual at all
<[werk]chin> they need to be these asexual funnels of
christmas money and bad driving

<Yawgatog> You haven't lived until you've chugged a bottle of
rubbing alcohol.
<Yawgatog> You probably haven't died until then, either.

<RLTim> Procrastination is like masturbation; you're only
fucking yourself
<Cheshire> Yeah but if procrastination and masturbation were
paying jobs, IRC would be full of fucking millionaires.

<jamesi> paperwork is teh suck
<jamesi> i'm 27 years old, using the words 'teh suck'.  I
should be ashamed of myself, and yet, i'll probably use those
words in combination again sometime in the next 3 hours

<Object> booya my roommate, got in a fight last week.. this
week, booya was starting a new job .. he gets in and finds out
his new boss is the guy he fought last week, we thought it was
pretty funny

<Lokonopa> you know what would be the funniest thing to see?
when those spelling bee contests come on tv, and the announcer
gives a kid a really hard word to spell...and at that exact
moment a guy in the back screams "HOLY FUCK!"

<@BitStream> well, I moved the couch down stairs
<@BitStream> so the new one can be put where the old one was
<helixblue> against the wall?
<@BitStream> yea
<helixblue> ahh.. I was hoping that sound was you cleaning the
dishes
<helixblue> I ate my cereal for breakfast with measuring cups
this morning.
<@BitStream> I was trying to get rid of as much stuff as
possible before work, so thats less to do when I get back :/
<@BitStream> helixblue: did you look in the right cabinet
<@BitStream> there were bowls in there yesterday
<helixblue> bits: I used the measuring cups as spoons

<leefal> Holy shit! Zacarias Moussaoui must have downloaded a
serious ammount of albums to get 6 life sentences.

<SLP> I request that you allow me back in the chatroom because
you have violated mIRC32 rules by kicking me out
<SLP> if you do not allow me back in the chatroom i will have
an order saying that you never be allowed to use this chat
program

[glr] anyone who have this one:ǧÓðúQ¤ò¿Ú¤ËÒ§¤¨¤¿ÈÕ¡© by
kazuki tomokawa?
[Red Faux] >_>
[Red Faux] ǧÓðúQ¤ò¿Ú¤ËÒ§¤¨¤¿ÈÕ¡©
[Red Faux] I love that song.

<Torke> and now
<Torke> my dad's get a quad for his birthday
<Torke> he's turning 50
<Grimp> don't let him near the rocket launcher

<continuum> is there anything sweeter than the first few
downloads once you switch to adsl?
<continuum> first sex, first drugs, first drink... don't think
any compare to watching 12Mb d/l in like a second or two

<Erin> does anyone else think that maybe dairy farmers have
been tricking us, and that cows are really bulls, and we all
buy bull semen by the litre?
<Erin> it's just whenever I see milk I think of semen that's
all
<KateK> Um, maybe you shouldn't let your dad prepare your
cereal anymore.
<Homestarrr> hellooo calcium deficiency

<ar5WRK> Is it fucked up, to like, when she was sleeping, jerk
off on her so when she would wake up she would have a mound of
jizz on her body some where?
<ar5WRK> Not like i ever did that.
<ar5WRK> Just wanting to know...
<ar5WRK> ...

Under the fence: if your mom were a farm animal, she'd be a
sloth
Hobbes659: a sloth isn't a farm animal
Under the fence: damn it, theres gotta be a sloth farm
somewhere around here

<Error_404> i swear to god... the next time my mom approaches
me about my drinking, i'm gonna fucking come out of the
closet...

<SYch0> heh
* SYch0 has a great family
<SYch0> :D
<Ash> Because they indulge you.
<Ash> But if they keep doing that, you'll grow up fat and
arrogant!
<Ash> Oh, wait.... :(

<CrossAlkaid> I'm going to make myself a son out of all the
Kleenex I have in a pile by now.
<CrossAlkaid> Then I'll kill him, because the law makes no
provisions for people made of Kleenex.

<Anton> I can see myself reinstalling windows
<A|exander> wow, are you having an out of body experience?

<@Kaczynski> I say reinstate the death penalty
<@Kaczynski> and execute corrupt politicians
<@Kaczynski> how are they acting differently from organized
criminals?
<@andro> they're getting caught

<Jester> When will the queen name her Court?
<Jester> Nudge, Nudge, wink wink....
<Queen Alice> LATER MAN THESE CRUMPETS WON'T EAT THEMSELVES

<@MajorKong> man, it is quiet in here....
<@MajorKong> either you are all asleep in anticipation of
tomorrow's feasting.....
<@MajorKong> or I seriously need to buy stock in kleenex.

<myhero> I think this is what I wanted to say, or something
like this
<myhero> how about making a holiday the opposite of
thanksgiving
<myhero> where your a bitch and hate everything in the world
for one day
<myhero> that's what I did today
<myhero> it felt great
<Tik-Tok> that doesn't need to be a holiday
<Tik-Tok> most people are like that day to day
<myhero> yeah maybe
<myhero> well on this holiday, how about people try just a
little bit harder to hate people
<myhero> ya know, in the spirit of the holiday
<myhero> hate people a little bit more

<@mitchn> we should patent "3 hour abs"
<@mitchn> It comes with a toilet and a fifth of tequila

<eViL_oNe> oh goodgod!@
<eViL_oNe> HELP ME
<@lucifer> sorry. not qualified.

<Mentar> why did hitler kill himself?
<JoltX> because he was deranged
<JoltX> and he didnt want to give the jews the satisfaction
<Mentar> wrong
<Mentar> he saw the gas bill

<nitekrawler> I was taking a piss, and my toliet suddenly
flushes it self.
<damageisking> maybe it was japanese
<nitekrawler> I dont think toliets have ethnic races

<Slave`Shadu|Gone>  So, Nall, what kind of porn you looking
at...
<Slave`Shadu|Gone>  Bukkake?
<XShadow[Gone]> Anal AND Oral?
<XShadow[Gone]> 69?
<Slave`Shadu|Gone>  Asian?
<Slave`Shadu|Gone>  Oreintal
<Slave`Shadu|Gone>  Etc.
<XShadow[Gone]> Irish boxing?
<Slave`Shadu|Gone>  Wait, Wtf.

<RoyCastle> i think my body is compensating for my not eating
anything by delving deeper into insanity
<RoyCastle> like earlier I was looking at a picture of a dead
cat on the internet and for a moment it made me understand
multivariable calculus
<mflynn00> liar
<RoyCastle> k.. it was midget pr0n

<Teksura> I got a great Anecdote for you.
<Teksura> Today I was at College, and I was with a good friend
of mine. She has been there for me for the past year and has
given me all the Doctor Who fandom I could ask for
<Teksura> Today I went to give her a ride home because I'm
just that nice a guy
<Teksura> So, as we are on the way to my car, some random
freshman stops us
<Teksura> Aparently, he knew me from high school, but I have
no idea who the heck he is.
<Teksura> Well, he starts talking about stuff that I like to
pretend never happened, stuff that you only bring up if you
want to make someone embarrassed
<Teksura> So, suddenly, I get one of my trademark cunning
plans
<Teksura> I pull $20 from my wallet and say "Look, I don't
know who you are, but seeing as you only want to talk about
things that you know I don't ever want spoken, I'll give you
$20 if you go away."
<Teksura> He agrees and reaches for the $20
<Teksura> "Nono, you haven't gone away yet. You're still here.
I will give you the $20 after you go away."
<Teksura> So he says "OK" walks off.
<Teksura> I pocket my $20 and take my friend to my car before
he figures out what I just did.

<choconado> aggh...horrible no cut and paste in mirc :(
<Saber> yes there is
<Saber> by selecting the text it's automatically copied to
your clipboard
<Saber> you need to select from left to right
<choconado> my version doesn't do that...it puts up a finger
icon
<choconado> oh wait...
<choconado> dude...i've had mirc for two and a half fucking
years, and i learn this NOW?!?

<Jaz> You're catholic, right jay?
<@Jaayy> you and me both.
<Jaz> What are you giving up for lent?
<@Jaayy> Catholocism.
<Jaz> how ironic.

<MXV> can't really tell when wife is PMSing and when she is
just naturally psycho

bendingoutward: last night was so hardcore that i moshed with
a guy in a wheelchair.

<drlion> i think all the spam broke my god damn mailbox
<drlion> porn is fucking up the internet
<drlion> and we can do nothing but watch
<RabYak> heh...nice choice of words :)
<drlion> thanks, and i don't mean idiomatically

<biatch> he tells me how he's cheated on two of his gfs
<biatch> then when i email him telling him i'm back with luke
<biatch> he's all disappointed
<biatch> and he's like
<biatch> "i told you about the girls i cheated on because i
wanted you to TRUST me"

<cugar`class> as i was walking from my car through the parking
lot
<cugar`class> there was this big black guy talking to this
girl
<cugar`class> and all the sudden
<cugar`class> he makes a gun hand motion pointing at her
"dome" and he yells "GIMME YO NUMBA BITCH"

<Deviant> Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to
their level, then beat you with experience.

<jixn|breakfast> BRB: Going to Europe.

<alpha[nB]> Lets have mirc war!
* alpha[nB] was kicked by de|Legacy`away (i win)

<psychicbug> I'm gonna find some third world country, and
punch a store owner in the face
<psychicbug> he's gonna start swearing at me in some fucked up
language
<psychicbug> and if I like any of the words I hear, I'll make
it my new nick since this one sucks

<kero> if you jizzed and there wasn't any gravity, u think
there'd be a kickback?
<kero> if i was on mars, i'd def hide behind a crater and jerk
off 
<kero> just to say i did
<fzt> that'd kind suck to be lost in space cause you were
viciously beating off
on the moon.

xekk: i went to go see the ring
xekk: and this little kid, like 10 years old was sitting
behind me
xekk: i guess he had his finger in his mouth
xekk: cause everytime something scary happened, he'd say "I
bit my fingo!"
unslaught: hey everyone, im here!
MovieMan112: I bit my fingo!

< PrincessLeia2> :q
< PrincessLeia2> oops
< TonicBH> what kind of face is that?
< PrincessLeia2> not a facey, I was trying to quit vim %(

* a17geL637 huggles anthony
* Ariyn rubs anthony's face in his manboobs
<Anthony> YAAAAAAAY! and NOOOOOOOOO! respectivelyyyyyyyy!!!

<&dreams> well
<&dreams> I want a direct link
<&dreams> :P
<@McRuMMy> ugh
<@McRuMMy> www.yahoo.com/DontBeFuckinLazy
<@McRuMMy> here
<@McRuMMy> http://www.sky.com/skynews/article/
0,,30000-1188265,00.html
<&dreams> lmao
<&dreams> thanks
<@McRuMMy> everytime i dont feel like helpin you i look back
on this pic of your boobs :>

<evilbadz> can i show you my function?
<DAL9000> never on a first date.

<+me0w> the guy arrested for being involved with cutting up
those bodies in london is wearing a cyberdog tshirt in that
pic!
<+me0w> there was a serial killer, forget which one, he used
to chop up kids and cook them
<+me0w> but he said he tried a kid's dick
<+me0w> and it was too chewy
<+me0w> so he tossed it into the toilet
Tresnar ([email protected]) has joined.
<Aniki> thats what the guy here said too. first they wanted to
eat the penis raw, but it was too chewy, so they had to cook
it
<Tresnar> ... What the heck did I wander into?

* rob` pokes richard.. do an ls `yes`.  I dare you
[five minutes pass]
<phenyx> INIT: PANIC: segmentation violation at 0x40060fa1!
sleeping for 30 seconds.
<phenyx> INIT: PANIC: segmentation violation at 0x40060fa1!
sleeping for 30 seconds.
<phenyx> INIT: PANIC: segmentation violation at 0x40060fa1!
sleeping for 30 seconds.
<phenyx> INIT: PANIC: segmentation violation at 0x40060fa1!
sleeping for 30 seconds.
* rob` .. snickers madly
<Zibblsnrt> Ooh, neat
<phenyx> real funny.
<rob`> I didn't think anyone'd actually _do_ it.
<phenyx> I have enough money to drive to vancouver and kick
your ass.

<Codek> The next time you're having a bad day, imagine this:
<Codek> You're a Siamese twin. Your brother is gay and you're
not.
<Codek> But you only have the one ass.

<SSr2> what's pr0n?

<gerrard> siiiiigh
<gerrard> nothing like sitting around in your boxers at 4 am
<gerrard> mouse in one hand
<gerrard> can of mountain dew in the other
<}Phoenix{> dick in your mouth
<gerrard> ya..
<gerrard> hey wait

<cbf> oh that reminds me, I might've given your number out in
a irc channel last night
<Mr_E> are you fucking serious?
<Mr_E> if you're the reason some cunt called me at 4 in the
fucking morning I'ma throw bricks through your window