bash.org archive

<kyourek> KEEEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEE!!
<DrWoody> ... What?
<kyourek> Just practicing my karate.

<Eddo36> sometimes I feel like shit, you know, what sick shit
I get off to. but I can't change
<Littlelisa> You know eddo, if you never said anything, people
may like you
<Eddo36> if i never said anything, who would know me?
<Littlelisa> thats the point

<bill-s> why is evryone on the internets suddenly preoccupied
if I wipe front-to-back or back-to-front?
<BoltBait> Sounds to me like SOMEONE wipes the wrong
direction. :D
<bill-s> STFU!

<lewZer> Man, translating 2 pages of non-spaced,
non-punctuated, instructions for making lsd is awful rough on
a 9th grade dropout

(pervert_) i wear a shirt that says "I'm gay - it's
contageous"
(pervert_) not cuz im gay
(pervert_) it's so i don't get jacked
(pervert_) wait....that sounds bad

* AaronWL licks jwilbur seductively.
<jwilbur> AaronWL: rawr, you're a frisky one. Too bad you're
on AOL, I might catch something

<enigma> was talking to this guy at uni yesterday.  he said
the thing he missed most about uni was the pointless
conversations we had.  i asked him if he's heard of irc.

<Rjx> I could be good at marketing
<Rjx> I'd target spam at geeks
<Rjx> "Viagra! Increase your Uptime!"

<zhixel> I'm starting to think I drive too fast.
<felix> nothing wrong with 80mhz.
<felix> unless a highway patrol officer tells you otherwise.
<felix> like one did to me today.
<zhixel> I'm sorry felix, my car isn't a 486.
<barkode> got a ticket?
<felix> i got a speeding ticket going work
<barkode> "sorry officer, i had my soda on the turbo button"
<felix> zhixel: fuck off.  80mph, too

<Legendre> I got two spams today - one for weight loss, and
one for penile enlargement. I relplied to both, with cc: and
asked if they could work something out to transfer my extra
weight to my johnson.

<Arielana> he's sitting next me on the couch with his head on
the keyboard. Makes it hard to type.
<@Asmodee`> just push his face into the proper keys

[%proto] Master inorder to be a successful technician, one
must learn proper english and grammar
[@master-] tfu

<HA[OffDay]Dima> one thing i learned though, never let my gf
play GTA3, cause afterward she was tryin to play it IRL
<HA[OffDay]Dima> i thought i was gonna die on the way home

<issuez> im skinny for an irc girl

<ehk> anyone know what "PXE-E61: Media test failure, check
cable" mean
<sta-hi> ehk: it means that your PXE-E61 failed
<sta-hi> due to a meida test failure
<sta-hi> you should check your cable

* Switzerland has quit IRC (Connection reset by peer)
<SteveTheNormalGuy> HE'S GOING FOR COUNTRIES NOW!
<SteveTheNormalGuy> HE GOT SWITZERLAND

<Powerlord> I don't get laid enough to spell correctly
<trythil> laid?
<trythil> rofl
<Powerlord> erm... paid enough

<@DrFurious> -prince- [Global Notice] Tonight we mourn the
loss of a ZiRC user. One not everybody knew, but those who did
know him loved and thought of him as a nice person. robert^,
took his own life, of why, I do not know other than the pain
and suffering he had dealt with in his life. R.I.P Robert,
1985 - 2002 (WE WILL ALL MISS YOU!)
<MrSauce> HIS NAME IS ROBERT ARROW-POINTING-UP
<MrSauce> HIS NAME IS ROBERT ARROW-POINTING-UP
<alfred> HIS NAME IS ROBERT ARROW-POINTING-UP
<@DrFurious> i need to kill myself so i can be featured in a
global notice
<@DrFurious> i'll be famous
<leedo> omg lets do a group suicide
<leedo> they better give us each our own notice though
<@rincewind1013> i'm in if your in
<@DrFurious> maybe we can stagger them to make sure
<MrSauce> my mom sure will be proud

<tober> I actually did the math once, and it's improbable that
a million monkeys with a million typewriters (one typewriter
per monkey) that all type at the rate of a good typist 24/365
would ever produce the collected works of shakespeare before
the heat death of the universe. So there.

<fetus> Hooters- "Chicken tastes better with a boner."

<nailer> I think I'm tired - I just spent three seconds
wondering why `Data Track' by `Data Track' wouldn't play from
this CD

* elisteran subscribes seriumu to spamlists
<elisteran> would you rather get nigerian 419 scams, or hawt
lesbian pr0n ?
<Pavel> elisteran: As if the two were mutually exclusive.
<elisteran> Dear Mr. Smith, my name is Motoba Kwambe, and I am
legal counsel representing the family of the late Prime
Minister of Nigeria, Bouncy Bubbles. Her nude coed widow has
the opportunity to retrieve $15 million stashed away in a bank
account, but needs a US citizen to ...
<Pavel> elisteran: That works.

<RyMon> You see the new heatsinks on thinkgeek?
<Crash> I have one right here... it's so cold against my skin,
I could just put them all over myself and stay cool anywhere!
<RyMon> There's no sink that disipates stupid, man.

< bijection> Could everyone in IT do me a favour? Stop using
the word "solution" to describe fucking everything under the
sun. A computer is not a "solution". A piece of software is
not a "solution". A minimum wage asshole plugging in the $1.50
network cable is not a "solution".

<Shiningun> the day peoples faces start looking like ^_^ in
real life is tha day i buy a flamethrower

barfcat: So if you used subnetting on a network with Mac's,
would that be considered Apple CIDR?

<TrashCanB0B> Oregon
<snowchyld> isnt orgeon a cookie ?
<snowchyld> wait
<snowchyld> thats an oreo

<ricebowl> lingerie is one of the few items where you expect
to pay more for less

<ThaiLand> what time is it ?
<@nimper> tool time
<ThaiLand> thx

<Killrbyte> God dammit...Jesus saves...why the fuck didn't I?

(_ph): im hungry
(kingy`r): eat a dick :P
(_ph): im a little hungrier than that
(sole): eat two dicks then
(_ph): we're talking at least 5 here

<MY2K> can you hear me? :P
<TheDingo> no
* MY2K has left #8-bit.theater
* MY2K has joined #8-bit.theater
<TheDingo> still can't hear you
* MY2K has left #8-bit.theater

<altus> internet diet is shitty
<altus> cookies and spam all the time
<xoroa> yea. and the cookies are totally dubious. i mean, who
would eat one that expires in 2017?

<@yay> he doesn't have a low self esteem
<@yay> he thinks he's awesome
<@PhiL> really
<@yay> he's just depressed as hell because no one believes him

<FuNGiSiDE> is xxdethxx givin out instructions to make that
portable pocket pussy again

<herze> miss pearl
<herze> my love for you is like diherrea
<helpimarock> what
<herze> i just cant hold it in
<madpunk-nap> omg
<helpimarock> ahhhhhhhhh
<madpunk-nap> that would alomst be elite
<helpimarock> thats the sweetest thing ive ever heard
<madpunk-nap> if i didnt have to do with poop
<herze> haha
<herze> madpunk, even stevie wonder could see the beauty in
you
<herze> i have a few more
<madpunk-nap> i dont want to know, im going back to sleep
<herze> you have over 200 bones in your body... want another?
<herze> lets play army, ill lay on the ground and you can blow
the hell out of me

<epx> Some hacker is trying to hack into my computer for the
last couple of days. Norton firewall blocked the hacker
everytime. I know it is from the same person because the same
IP address (192.168.1.100) keeps poping up. How do I locate
his location using his IP address? What can else can I do?

SpleeGuy: i'm bored
SuperSu:  ok let me do something
SpleeGuy: ok
SuperSu signed off

<Doc> hmm.. AOL has this great new thing where you can chat
with your friends online!
<Bru> yeah I saw the ad on TV. that would be cool - then I
wouldn't have to chat with this bunch of losers and social
misfits

<snowchyld> This weekend I downloaded 1984 (movie) via a
torrent
<snowchyld> this morning I got a mail in the post, 'Dear Sir,
noticed you were downloading the torret (url)'
<snowchyld> ........
<snowchyld> I'm so going to a 'reeducation center' after this
;;
<ivan`> the DMCA letter-senders have already won

<timmo> url age of consent chart
<sx> age of consent chart: http://www.ageofconsent.com/
ageofconsent.htm
<timmo> check the chart.
<Valgar_> Screw the chart! It is all about discretion!
<NeonAFK> heh
<NeonAFK> its "undefined" in equador
<Guilty> /away Equador

<mikebeauc> man, there's a hot chick in the Java Lab..
<flawed> mikebeauc: go ask her "miss, are you lost?"

<n00b> how do i make $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ fast!! plz plz
plzzzz tell meeeeeee!!!!
<piezocake> Get Vi and type 22i$<esc>

(nexxai) [poopfart]: can you fart and poo at the same time?
(poopfart) yes
(poopfart) i can
(poopfart) their called accidents

<red13n> average blue whale produces over 400 gallons of sperm
when it ejaculates, but only 10% of that actually makes it
into his mate. So 360 gallons are spilled into the ocean
everytime one unloads, and you wonder why the ocean is so
salty.

<Zero> in the summer my friend was chipping golf balls
<Zero> one ball went on my other neighbours yard
<Zero> chased him with a pitch fork
<Zero> honest to god
<Zero> a pitch fork

<HF|CM_Krayakin> but come on bio, the chances of you getting a
girlfriend are what? 0?
<Biolution> no i had one in the sims
<Biolution> actually, i'm gonna go download the sims 2, that
way i can get lots of girlfriends
<Biolution> and i'm going to get the british version
<Biolution> that way the girls have that sexy brit accent when
they talk dirty to me
<HF|CM_Krayakin> they don't talk in the sims2
<Biolution> they will when i'm sitting alone simulbating

<Valqorez> I heard a strange commercial on the radio at work
today....
<Valqorez> "Treat yourself to a facial and raise money for
charity at the same time."
<Valqorez> I was like "What is this, a sponsored bukkake?"
<Foz> hahaha
<Valqorez> My manager gave me a long, funny look.
<Foz> lol. I didn't think many people knew that word
<Valqorez> Maybe she speaks Japanese....
<Valqorez> Odd thing was, all I could do was shrug and and say
"What?"
<Foz> I know that look

<moe_> Hello, can someone answer my question : how can I call
a bool function from another function? I am trying if (!
Class::function()) { cout << "error
"; exit(-1);  }
<moe_> but it is not working
<moe_> it prints error

<Slimano> You know the Paul McCartney song 'Mamunia'?
<john|away> yea
<Slimano> I think mamunia in arabic is 'Peace'
<LLXerxes> No wonder I've never heard it before.

<pHluid> It usually takes like 30 days to reroute a fucking T1
line
<mef> why are you telling us?
<pHluid> Just mentioning
<pHluid> Didn't mean to interrupt your meaningful fucking
idling.
<pHluid> So sorry.
<mef> Apology accepted.
<l0st> we all make mistakes

<DarkEra> Tolkan, you must be the dumbest person on the planet
<Tolkan> im smark...
<Tolkan> smart.

<Sakireth> Infinite can't be explained by math or logics
either.
<Sakireth> Well, maybe a little by logics..
<bob-E> just get 8 drunk, and then u got infinity

<lofty> hello anyone know how to kill 900gb bandwidth in 6
hours?
<Neodymium> Yes
<Neodymium> Give me a shell

<Mansion_Maniac> I just realized something
<TheEnforcer> ??
<Phone> ??
<Mansion_Maniac> if you renamed "humans" as "Terrans";
"aliens" as "Zerg"; and "Predators" as "Protoss", the new
Aliens vs. Predator movie would totally be a movie adaptation
of StarCraft.

<wesleymason> The handwriting on these card envelopes look
like they've been written by a retarded 6yr old Basque speaker
who's learnt English off a box Engrish-translated Japanese
sweets.
<wesleymason> In a hurry.
<wesleymason> During a storm.
<wesleymason> At night.

@(SikLogik) this one time... at computer camp... I shoved a
linux cd in my windows computer

kevin: what did you do tonight
Lucious: worked you?
kevin: haha no no, you didnt work me...i wouldve noticed

<Sans_Scope> Oh no!  How will Macgyver escape this debacle?
<+Shaezerus> Duct tape, chewing gum, and an orbital laser
(made from duct tape and chewing gum).

<Richie> What fanbois don't realise is that when they speak
japanese they sound like the 12 year old girl they learnt it
from

<timmo> id like to make a movie with just different ways of
[John Travolta] dying

<cochese04> Next time I'm at the pet store, I'm gonna take a
hampster and drop it in the scorpion cage.
<cochese04> I wanna see what a hampster's face looks like when
it goes, "oh, fuck."

<ANonRhymingNick> Messed my english teacher up friday when we
were writing that essay..
<ANonRhymingNick> She was like "what school did you come from?
" "Live Oak." "Ahh..That's why you don't have a problem with
this kind of stuff." "No, I don't have a problem with this
stuff because I got most of my education outside of Louisiana"
"*silence*"

MetalJunkie: Is it just me, or has technology gone too far
when I have to ask whether or not my calculator is backwards
compatible..

<Jonathan> Hey you know what's hard? Trying to move your toes
individually!
<Jonathan> I've been practicing though. My left foot's toes
are almost completely independent.
<Sumez> gee, Jon, what awaste of time
<Sumez> At least spend your time pulling your penis so it gets
longer or something else that's useful
<Jonathan> I have people who do that for me.

<@daerid> I have a drinking problem
<@daerid> I just spilled pepsi on my shirt 4 times in a row

<college^boy> hey
<college^boy> asl?
<phoxie17> 43/m/prison
<college^boy> seriouslly?

<ig3l|Guel> If Osama B. isn't in Afghanistan, and if he isn't
dead, we believe he is in another country" - US army General

<Calren> Zaphod, do you think that if I arrange AOL CD's in a
pentagram I will be able to use the powers of darkness to
control the actions of mortals?