bash.org archive

<[mahn]jooce> I was expecting coke when I drank urine
<[mahn]jooce> and
<[mahn]jooce> it took me like 5 seconds to figure out what it
was
<Kitsa> lol
<Kitsa> I'm sure the Coke company would be thrilled to hear it
took so long

KazeoHin: can I lick your penis?
SmarterChild: What if I want to lick my penis?

<starshipparsley> This is a beautiful equation.
<starshipparsley> e^pi( i ) + 1 = 0
<purple.toupee> omg that just blew my mind
<starshipparsley> I am reading the Penguin Dictionary of
Curious and Interesting Numbers right now, and it is
nerdgasmic
<starshipparsley> Did you know that pi/2 is 1/root(root2 +
root(root 2 +root(root 2 +....)
<purple.toupee> !!!!
<starshipparsley> This kinda stuff is so freaking awesome!
<purple.toupee> math = power
<purple.toupee> math is knowledge, knowledge is power, power
corrupts, therefore math corrupts
<starshipparsley> Math = the only kind of sexual pleasure I'll
probably ever have

* Praetorian is back: filling my tum tum after 17mins 11secs
<mil-soldat> Praetorian: you have the wierdest reasons in your
script
<Praetorian> yep :-) ta
<milenko> what do you say when you go off with your gf for a
bit of action?
<milenko> * Praetorian is back: filling my girlfriends tum
tum  after 1mins 12secs

<Adun|Oblivion> "The ejaculation of a dolphin carries so much
force with it, that it could decapitate you."
<ChaosSmurf> You know
<ChaosSmurf> This is why Dolphins are ALWAYS happy
<ChaosSmurf> They're just sitting there going "Yeah, bitches,
I can decapitate you with my sperm"

<Rachtman> I can't wait to watch Dick Clark's ball drop.
<Sharparoni> wow. never say that again, please.
<Rachtman> haha

<PunisherBass> I'd rather smear my nuts in honey and then tea
bag a red ant hill than watch the matrix reloaded again

<Nikari> $h1t
<Ferrari> |=uc|<
<Ferrari> |317C|-|
<Nikari> |= |_| < |<
<Ferrari> haha
<Ferrari> |3][¯|¯c|-|
<Nikari> |> /- // ||
<DragonPhoeniX> ( () ( |<  5 |_| ( |< ][ || (¬   |) () |_| ( |
-| |= |3 / (¬
<Ferrari> ...
<Nikari> D=
<Nikari> I think we've been owned
<Ferrari> retardedly owned

<Az_Eating_lunch> We had to carry our IP packets up hill
ourselves
<Az_Eating_lunch> I tell ya, when you are carrying your own
packets, collisions suck

<ld>: my parents got really pissed at me for my grades
<leet eskimo>: sux to be you
<ld>: but i ownd their faces off
<leet eskimo>: how
<ld>: well "i cant belive you have a 50 in gym"  "it's ok, i
had subway for lunch"

<Ezekiel> When we were doing about the 3rd world in RE, the
teacher was saying how we live in the 1st world, africa is the
3rd world, but there isn't really a 2nd world
<Ezekiel> So this kid asks the teacher "Where was world war 2
fought then?"

<Def|CS> Porn has a neat psychological sidebit...it's like,
these people are giving up their dignity so you have something
to look at to entertain yourself. It's power :O

<hypr> WE IS TO CUT OFF ALL SUPPLIES OF VODKA TO YOUR
SHITHOUSE COUNTRY

<reptile-> i like to masturbate
<reptile-> heh
<reptile-> I remember along time ago
<reptile-> when I was like 8 er smthn
<reptile-> my friend was like, "Gay people masturbate." or
something
<reptile-> and I was like, "ew.. I'm never doing that!"
<reptile-> !#@$

<jamesf> go to work, put your jacket over your chair and a cup
of coffee next to your keyboard, then go home
<jamesf> everyone will think you're in a meeting
<jamesf> turn up again at 4, do an hour's work and then go
home again
<jamesf> no-one will be any the wiser

(@Xolution): what is this "social" you speak of?
(moriarty): it's like IRC, but with touching

<mikebwork> but, lets say she asked me.. "do you ever have
fantasies about
girls that are petit"
<mikebwork> id' have to answer..
<mikebwork> "on occasion, yes. but not because they are
petit."
<sh-> i'd say something like "yes, but occasionally i
fantasize about having
sex with a horse, while a young mexican boy takes
pictures, so it's
nothing you have to be insecure about"
<sh-> but not everyone is as suave as me

<DaveMan> if a cop ever shoots, he/she means to kill
<DaveMan> standard practice is two at the torso, then try to
put one in the head
<jitspoe> getting shot twice in the torso would suck
<Fryth> getting one would be a breeze, though
<jitspoe> Fryth: that only drops me to 60 health

<MMB> !8ball AM I THE HOTTEST GUY IN HERE
<ChanServ> MMB: No.
<MMB> !8ball do you know who is?
<ChanServ> MMB: Sure. Yeah. Exactly.
<Yardbomb> !8 It's me isn't it?
<ChanServ> Yardbomb: Sure. Yeah. Exactly.
<Ant-> !8 you said that out of pity didn't you?
<ChanServ> Ant-: Yes.

<zerovampire> so I was reading bash.org, and there was this
great quote, "A guy at work yesterday saw my stickers on my
car, and asked me if Semper Fi was a form of martial arts."
<ryo-ohki> heheh, what is it, an band or something?
<zerovampire> O.o

<RapidX> Hey, was wondering... when buying a fan.. how do you
determine if the fan is a fan that blows in air or blows out?

<oreth> Jay and silent bob said the f-word 227 times
<huzyrdadi> in all five films?
<@Breathe> I think he means just in the trailer.

<Jonathan> anyone here seen the movie pi?
<Yesenia> yea, I saw it 3.14 times.

<Grum_Trivia> shithead1 has won 50 in a row!! Total Points
this WEEK: 22347 & this MONTH: 34899
<Shithead1> I am fucking tired of trivia
<Grumman> imagine that

<DMA57361> my sister has a theory about ppl called dave . . .
<DMA57361> every company everywhere has a least 1 person
called "Dave"
<DMA57361> phone up a random company, ask for "Dave" and there
will be one

<Alipha> ..can you fax me some paper for my printer?

(Curb) don't worry no trees were harmed in the search for my
glasses, toes were stubbed and lives were lost...but all tress
are fine

<!fis> finally my nickalert works =D
<!fis> FUCK
<!fis> i think my screen just burnt through
<!fis> i can type
<!fis> but i don't see anything
<!Purge> fis
<!Purge> fis
<!Purge> fis
<!Purge> fis
<!Purge> fis
<!Purge> fis
<!fis> stop that
<!Purge> actually.. i just tried to morse you something =/

<Paveourroads> in a multiplayer game, you can be all, "Look, I
have cooler shit than you." in a singleplayer game, you're
like, "OK, my stuff is cool." and you show people who come
over to your house and they're like, "You're a loser." so you
cry and die. >:(

<Foo1> I AM JESUS
<Foo1> BOW TO ME
<Foo1> BOW TO MY GREATNESS
<Foo1> FOR I AM THE SAVIOR
<Foo1> (*#$(*$#
*** Foo1 was kicked by Evel (WOOOOO I JUST KICKED JESUS FROM
AN IRC CHANNEL!@##!@!@#!@#)

<Eku{MY}> Who was the first person to look at a cow and say,
"I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink what
ever comes out"?

<TheJoeMan> requested old boss as facebook friend, i wanna see
what happens
<TheJoeMan> maybe she'll finally realize that i'm not on drugs
and am actually like that normally

<@AJ-> [-amp-]: My girl might be, erm, uh, you know
<@[-amp-]> a man?

<arsen^> just did apt-get update
<arsen^> went to get a coffee, came back and screen is blank
<arsen^> not sure what its doing :o
<@directhex> press a button
<@directhex> it's called a screen saver
<arsen^> why the hell :/

<|MonK|> I have a 16X dvd rom drive,  so why dose it still
take an hour and  a half to watch a whole DVD?

<Disciple> my bowels are at a state of civil unrest
<Disciple> ugh... looks like the rebels are winning
<Disciple> gotta go, bbiab

<Kat_3y3z> I think I tanned too long tonight.
<dudley> Kat_3y3z: why tan? you have good skin
<remisser> yes.  why ruin that pretty skin of yours?  Now I'll
never be able to make my mask...

<matts> memcpy(matts,einstein);
<KrZDG> compilation error cannot convert smart d00d to dumb
ass.

<+Synista> so
<+Synista> I downloaded this fly fishing movie
<+Synista> since I need to learn how to cast properly
<+Synista> turns out it was a pr0n movie called fly fishing

<FujiLi> my wiener reminds me of a lightsaber.
<Terron> FujiLi: its green?

* Cerebus laughs evilly under appropriately spooky lighting as
lightning strikes and thunder explodes outside around the High
Tower of jadecore on top of Elitist Bastard Mountain in the
Kingdom of Fuck.

<Zotmaster> i myself would like to meet a woman made out of
pie

* slippy drags you upstairs
<ginge> !
<slippy> to bed..
<ginge> !!
<slippy> to sleep!
<ginge> :(
<slippy> after a bit
<ginge> ;)

<Nastard> hey everyone, quick poll
<Nastard> raise your hand if you ever want to have sex again
<Nastard> keep it up if you realistically expect it to happen
<ziz> move it up and down quickly if you don't

<J-Dawg> I tried to buy a hooker with monopoly money once.
<Kyee> how'd that work out for you?
<J-Dawg> my mom said they weren't in monopoly
<J-Dawg> ...they never let me play after that, either...

<Sonson> (picture address)  ......scary part? this was last
year.... my hair grows REALLY fast O_o
<Sonson> and I have fecal hair
<Ronald_MacK> Fecal hair?
<Ronald_MacK> What the hell have you been eating?
<TRB115> Uh...
<DecadentTeatime> Food?
<Sonson> Fecial hair ^^
<Airi> FACIAL.

<Ron912> <OiOiBuNnY> one time at retard camp i stuck a
wheelchair in my pussy

[D1] wait, vinyl players are called turntables too?

<Reapern66> I realized why Bill Gates always has that stupid
smile on his face 1d 18h 2m 8s ago

<Stooert> asian girls with big boobs rule
<RedXIII> they do
<Stooert> cuz its just so rare
<RedXIII> like a clown with a phd

[Zaun] Zoid?
[Zoid] Yes?
[Zaun] Have you ever been to Vegas?
[Zoid] No
[Zaun] Let me rephrase that. Have you ever paid for sex?

doubting: interesting
doubting: popup ad suggests I use www.blackjack.com to backup
my critical data
doubting: strangely, I'm not wont to gamble with my backups

chickenrising: if playing an actual guitar picks up girls,
playing a video game about playing the guitar is sure to pick
up some sort of girl... it only makes sense

<MG5> clearly FFX-2 is not a game I'll be able to play with my
pants on

<whythehell> who were you talking about?
<RobotBebop> whythehell: Canada.
<whythehell> sorry
<whythehell> who were you talking aboot?

<scrapFx> I want to live in 3000 where I'm fed through tubes
and never have to take a dump again
<scrapFx> make that 2999 so I could throw a mad partai

<Foobar> stealth hacking? i am about as stealthy as a pregnant
elephant on crack.

<f9|war3beta> These Mint Skittles taste like shit.
<Brentai> MINT SKITTLES?
<JDigital> f9: Tell me about it. Over here, we call the green
ones "Excre-mint".
<JDigital> Alternatively known as "New car smell" flavour.

<Jens> JESUS WHAT THE FUCK
<Jens> Spam mail from goatporn.com >_<
<Liam> Jens
<Liam> There are only lesbians making out
<Liam> On Goatporn.com
<Jens> Oh.
<Jens> Whew.
<Jens> ...
<D> Leave it to Liam to go there and actually come back
disappointed.
<Jens> Why the fuck did you check that?

<Zok> who here has an ip address?
<Mortimer> me
<Zok> i didnt ask you

<port-> well peace out fuckers
<port-> im done with soa
<port-> email me if u want to talk, odoyle has the address.
* port- sets mode: -o port-
* port- ([email protected]) has left
#soangels
<ap0c> heh
<ap0c> he'll be back
* port- ([email protected]) has
joined #soangels
<port-> god damn autojoin
* port- ([email protected]) has left
#soangels

<OwnerDemon> Subliminal (kill) messaging (your) is (parents)
awesome!

<LadyDragon> But I like to think that I have brains over
bronze anyhow

<tjr> (a) What is the diameter of a ground-state hydrogen
atom?
<tjr> (b) Given this diameter as a position uncertainty x ,
calculate the equivalent
<tjr> one-dimensional linear momentum uncertainty, in units of
h .
<tjr> <scooby doo voice> ruh-roh

<SamGod> crap, not only does my everything hurt, I can't
breath fresh air 'cuz all I smell is gasoline
<Coda> why do you smell gasoline SamGod?
<SamGod> Coda:  'cuz I smell like gasoline
<Coda> why?
<SamGod> Coda: I kinda happened to shove an exaust pipe in my
sleve for warmth for a few hours last night
<Twist-> See? he is a psycho.
<SamGod> well, actually, I switched off between one sleve,
then the other, then my pant leg, then the other, etc...
<Twist-> didn't occur to you to get inside the car?

<jeemer> you know, come to think of it i already have a 5
gallon aquarium
<jeemer> hundreds of billions of pets
<jeemer> i feed them malt and they shit out alcohol
<jeemer> its a pretty good system actually

<Golden> Am I the only one who thinks Dead Rising could be the
easiest Video Game to Porno transfer?
<Golden> The three main characters are a black guy, a hot
blonde chick and a photographer
<Golden> And they're stuck in a mall with zombies so they
can't escape
<Golden> Eventually someone is going to have a cock in their
ass while the hairy guy takes pictures of it

<Eibii> I'm crossdressing for the next con, thank ye gods.
Fewer chunky Star Trek fanboys in bad latex following me
around and asking me to dinner, at least. THe joy of sexual
alienation...

(PowrSlave) how r things?
(DAMMiT_) good
(DAMMiT_) well
(DAMMiT_) except for the fact that my 88 GT just got blown
away by a Beetle with
a license plate labeled "KIWI"