bash.org archive

<no_soul> i snorted Ajax
<no_soul> i almost died

<%kastein> jack be nimble, jack be quick... I'm not an asshat
so I'm not gonna finish this line
<%spock1104> jack be nimble, jack be quick, jacks a pedo and
touched a young chick
<+Chronojam> She tripped, fell, landed on his dick; isn't that
right Jack
<+Chronojam> Jack be nimble, Jack be quick; she tripped and
fell, woke up on his dick
<+Jack> hey they're cute what do you want from me

<DiTsHiP> I'm about to go to class, I have two tests today.
<AldeBaran> erk, good luck
<DiTsHiP> Thanks
<AldeBaran> what subject(s)?
<DiTsHiP> Psychology and Data Structures
<AldeBaran> wow...don't get mixed up...
<DiTsHiP> I'll try not to :)
<AldeBaran> "what program would we use to solve for X?" "Well,
a program of mild anti-depressants followed by some sessions
with a psycologist should make X feel better about himself"

* ph33r wears his butt-protector...
<Aristotles> thats a weird way to say "condom"
<nix> HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

<Lincoln`s_Wax> "The vacuum of space can suck like a mofo!"
"Captain, get your penis out of the window!

<[Ko]Rob_e_lee1> ur retarted lol
<[ko]theuberelite> thats the most hypocritical statement I've
ever heard.

<outcaste> When I was single, I used super sensitive condoms.
They were so sensitive that they'd stick around and talk to
the chiq for an hour after I'd gone

<Gnuspice> shit, you know you've been doing too much SQL when
you're at a prompt and do SELECT * FROM /bin;

<McGod> and the lord said... let there be fries with that...
and they tasted good

<AnGeLFiRe> go screw a dog
<Pharaohe> come over to my house then babe

<Kashan> I think we should circumsize horses so they look
prettier in the porn videos

<nwa_> someone sniff me and send me a copy of all the info you
collect, i am most interested
<beeMind> nwa_: I've been sniffing you and I have some info.
You smell funny.

<MojoBag> [DaemoN_] She kicked my dog, and now i am going to
FUCK her.
* freeweed kix Daemon's dog
* DaemoN_ fucks her
<smcn> fucks who? your dog?

<TonyD> you hatiater
<DamianMor> What on earth is a hatiater?
<TonyD> it's a word I just made up
<TonyD> someone who radiates hate

<diegov[m]> What's the name of that js programming mmo?
<zer0def> uh, github?

<hoche> you know, qdb mostly reminds me that none of us are as
witty as oscar wilde

<Aussiedog> guess what?? i actually get a cd in my eye just
now
<Iceman> how?
<Aussiedog> i am chewing a cd
<Aussiedog> and iput it in my hand and it flicked into my eye
<Iceman> Aussiedog: you know cd tops are toxic? :P
<Aussiedog> HOLY SHIT
<Aussiedog> ok i spat is otu
<Aussiedog> how toxic?
<Aussiedog> coz my mouth is burning a little

<Hazim> APPARENTLY I CANNOT CHARGE MALE ESCORTS TO MY LIBRARY
CARD
<LR|seksiwidow-> why the hell not?
<Hazim> i dunno.. they thought i wouldn't return them on time?

<DM|Rigs> heh no body loves me
<DM|Rigs> :(
<Munter> Jesus loves you!
<Sirak> Everybody else thinks you're a cunt

<Szyslak> HAHAHAHA those wacky spanish: "Our download server
can only support 300 simultaneous discharges"

<OwnerDemon> It kind of sucks now that there are so many
computer jokes and innuendos on bash.org that people like me
can't understand them.
<TheOne> 7|-|47z (|_|z j0012 4 f|_||<1n9 DUMB4SS!
<OwnerDemon> Exactly.

<rudesmurf> oh, by the way, you have woman arms.
<@Chomps> not really, but I have child's wrists
<rudesmurf> why is that?
<@Chomps> because i cut them off some kid

<Blarrrg> Holy shit, best idea for a doormat ever.
<Blarrrg> 10 HOME
<Blarrrg> 20 SWEET
<Blarrrg> 30 GOTO 10

( Fuzzy     ) this one chick could type 80wpm at 95% acc
( Fuzzy     ) i'm watching her type going "i bet she'd give
nice hand jobs"

<seven> hooked up with some chick at a party james invited me
to last weekend. she comes back to my place, we're fucking
around, she gives me a handjob, my vesuvious errupts, I'm
content and am ready to go to sleep. then like, 2-3 minutes
after said erruption, she's back down there again, and I'm
thinking "what the fuck, as if, the guy needs some time to
recover", much to my surprise, she got it all back and working
again, and lo and behold, a second eruption
<seven> so I said straight away "whoa, you're like, really
good at that."
<seven> "do you have a little brother or something?"

[timmo] i liked the great gatsby movie
[timmo] because gatsby was harrison ford
[timmo] and i cant pass up an opertunity
[timmo] to see him get shot

<michael-> shut up
<michael-> i sucked a lot of cock to get where i am today
<kisama> heh
<kisama> at least you got to suck cock and not be ass raped
like the rest of us

<ASDF> In my data communications class, the teacher asked "How
would one person in a company send a package to another person
in another comapany?  Let's say that it was a woman."
<ASDF> Then someone said "Tell that bitch to come here and get
it herself!"

<McMoo> i almost done froze on my way to school on monday
<Durandal_> hehe
<Durandal_> luckily i have an extra layer of winter insulation
built onto my midsection
<timmo> fatass
<Badtz> fatty
<Dekkon> fattie
<Livewireo> Goddamn fatty
* Durandal_ can feel the love in this channel.
<Dekkon> it runs deep

<|Chris> you couldn't get a man if you opened your ass like
the goatse.cx guy and walked around a prison yard

Ignus Firestorm: Do that shit again and I'm getting back on my
other SN.
Ignus Firestorm: And you'll never hear from me again.
Ignus Firestorm: =]
CanYouSaySanity:  Oh...darn....
CanYouSaySanity:  ...
CanYouSaySanity: That was by far, the worst threat in the
history of mankind.
CanYouSaySanity: It wouldn't even work on France.

<NekoNick> And you claim to be sentient?
<RaZorblade>
sentient???????????????????????????????????????????????
<NekoNick> I guess that answers my question.

<mad> shit shit shit
<mad> i just started blaring tunes, thinking i had only my
headphones on
<mad> but i forgot to turn off my speakers..
<mad> i bet i just woke everyone in the house up
<Gold> lol
<Gold> nice one
<mad> meh
<mad> im drunk
<mad> what do i care
<GreenWrecKingBall> hahaha
<GreenWrecKingBall> lucky it wasn't porn
<mad> omg
<mad> that's exactly what i was about to type
<mad> "lucky it was was rage against the machine, instead of
this pron mpg i was about to load up"
<mad> since the only reason i realized my speakers were on is
my feet could feel my sub kicking
<mad> i doubt the pron woulda done that until about half way
in

<StorDuff> heh, just asked about what pieces people would
recommend in #opera, turns out it's about the browser

<Alvin> so there are four guys in one prison cell. One is a
zoophile, one is a sadist, then there's a necrophile and an
extremesports athelete.
<Alvin> the zoophile says: ahh, if I had a cat here, I'd fuck
it till I pass out.
<Alvin> the sadist says: ahh, after that I'd torture it until
it's dead
<Alvin> the necrophile: wow, after that I'D fuck it till I
pass out
<Alvin> the extremesports guy is sitting in a far corner and
very quietly says: mjau

< Time> that reminds me of when Manning and I installed OS/2
Warp4 on a box and during the install routine it said 
something to the likes of 'join the hundreds of people on the
internet'

<oktane> whoa. I just took a shit the width and length of my
arm. when it splashed down, it hit my ballsack and I had to
take a shower again. Im dead serious.

<|3itch> MY WOULD BE SISTER WAS AN ABORTION I WISH SHE WASNT
THOUGH
<Funk> I WAS an abortion. I'm just very stubborn.
<Fishfood> i was probably not wanted
<Funk> You're not wanted NOW
<Fishfood> but who cares! IM HERE NOW AND READY FOR LOVE!
<wildkarrdex> I live in the perpetual fear that my parents
will abort me

<Prophet_Tenebrae> i am to porn what pot noodle is to snacks.
<Wesley> an insult?

--> trillback
(~trillian@psu-1DF9C42E.nyc1-4.15.204.215.nyc1.elnk.dsl.genuity.net)
has joined #ps-universe
<-- trillback
(~trillian@psu-1DF9C42E.nyc1-4.15.204.215.nyc1.elnk.dsl.genuity.net)
has left #ps-universe
(Repeat about 15 times)
<Ioshua> +ban trillback plz. I only like this much in and out if it
involves my woman.
<Ioshua> or, at least, a friendly looking sock.

(+kevin) GOD DAMNIT. WHY DO I HAVE A HABIT OF TOUCHING MY
PENIS WHILE I'M SITTING IN A COMPUTER CHAIR?!?!

[CaSiNo] wtf is the trivia game?
[Hellz] type /wuit to start it
::: quit: (Hellz) (Quit: —I-n-v-i-s-i-o-n— 2.0
Build 3515)

<@Zero_C> This game makes me happy
<@Zero_C> http://www.fairyland.com.my/
<@Zero_C> It has faries ^_^
<@Zero_C> I feel like a 3 year old queer boy all over again
<@Zero_C> What the fuck
<@Zero_C> It wants my social security number

*** {JPM} changes topic to 'Welcome to IRC! The Home of fat
chics and skinny guys.'

<Charlemagne> monkey? what kind of racial slur is that?
<Mercenary9> A primitive one.

<SuckIt699> ENGLISH people u r in america

<Mr_Owen> I really think I should have been born Asian. Being
white sucks, anyway, and I don t like country music or
tailgating or alcohol or owning engineless trucks or never
mowing my lawn or not wearing a shirt or screwing fat chicks
at all. So I ve been trying to come up with a word for someone
who s white on the outside, but yellow in the inside.
<mirasaki> Like the opposite of Twinkie?
<Mr_Owen> Yeah. Exactly.
<mirasaki> Well, what d you come up with?
<Mr_Owen> I don t know. The only thing I could think of was a
toilet  And once I thought about that, damned if I could get
it out of my head.
<mirasaki> You re storing information endlessly! You really
are Asian!

<Surtur> so.. i saw david bowie two nights ago...
<Surtur> t'was good.
<|Wolf|> in concert?
<Surtur> oh yeah.
<|Wolf|> disregard what i just asked
<Surtur> no just walked into my bathroom and there he was, in
the tub!
<AlumaSqrl> hahaha
<AlumaSqrl> floating face down

* ArSa is not a scsi expert :\
* slurpee was a scsi expert until they came out with 134533109
flavors of it
slurpee: like ULTRA 2 WIDE MEGA XL ALPHA STREET FIGHTER SCSI

< quinn> There are three R's to windows tech support:
"Restart, Reboot, Reinstall"

<Tarrant> the condom pack says
<Tarrant> "Don't return used condoms to the distributor
through the mail."

<Karnaugh> if sex is shitty, you're doing it wrong
<BinX> Or you're doing anal.

Pikeman: I wonder if sex in heaven is considered necrophilia.
Pikeman: Or hell.
*** Jam ([email protected]) has joined #ev3
Pikeman: Jam, wanna test my theory?
Jam: sure
forge: Heh.
Jam: do i have to get naked?
forge: In a way...

<GreetServ> [A|exander] l44t
<notrino> laat ?
<A|exander> yeah
<A|exander> its one better than l33t
<notrino> err..yeah better than
<notrino> l33t :D
<A|exander> you're getting it
<notrino> than , why not 99 ?
<A|exander> small steps man, small steps

<Raspberry> i think seisures are like the unique and beautiful
snowflakes of the dance world
<snipe> Raspberry: you're obviusly not epileptic then
<snipe> What do you call an epileptic on a bed of lettuce?
<Raspberry> *shrug*
<snipe> Seizure salad
* Raspberry groans

<Bell> It's amazing how many kinds of crumbs you find when
cleaning your keyboard, I've found
<Bell> I even found a couple of dead ants.
<Bell> I'm assuming they perished while trying to retrieve
said crumbs.

<dave> i hit my dick on the sink the other day and it made a
weird sound so i had to do it again
<dave> (don't tell tj i said that)
<dave> (we share a sink)

<Guinivere> they have cable in Montana?
<Ouroboros> Yeah, you use it for barb-wire fences.
<Ouroboros> You know, cable.
<Ouroboros> Or for pulling your truck out of the ditch or
whatever.

<@Merrick178> I hope you get hit by an uninsured Mexican
driving an ice cream truck with la bamba playing in the
background

<smearedink> what's your SAT score?
<|nevermind|> smearedink: 1930
<smearedink> are you serious?!?!?!?!
<smearedink> dude
<smearedink> fuck no
<smearedink> i hate this
<smearedink> all the dumb people try to act smart
<smearedink> and all the smart people try to act dumb
<|nevermind|> smearedink: welcome to IRC

<deceptika> god created shit....honda made it move

<Hrung> yeah, i was going to go to bed like 20 mins ago, but
i'm a horrible procrastinator
<Hrung> too lazy to go to bed..

<Krypt|LOTR2> i was given 200 dollars to survive a month alone
while the rest of my family went to dominican republic
<Krypt|LOTR2> i blew half of that on games
<Krypt|LOTR2> and didnt eat for like 2 weeks
<Krypt|LOTR2> i lost alot of weight

ARcanUS NUMquam: night is sitll young
live billboard: virginal
ARcanUS NUMquam: the barrier between today and tommorrow has
barely been pressured
live billboard: but soon it will be penetrated
live billboard: father time will thrust his way into the young
tommorrow
ARcanUS NUMquam: using his tool that he nicknamed the "second
hand" when it strikes 12

volsung> *Sigh*
jack> sigh what?
volsung> Talking to my mom again.
volsung> I tried to explain that job #1 is modeling the
effects of the solar wind on the Earth's magnetic field and
that my advisor's model wasn't working at all.
volsung> Her immediate response was "Well, that's because you
aren't                taking into account the effect of
consciousness on the charged particles."
volsung> I did not know how to respond to that.

<Jon-> they need to put some quality warez and movies on
microsoft.com
<Jon-> i get about 800k a sec from them

<Daft> anyone know of any really good gardening irc channels?

<dan-o2> I've been watching simpsons for the better portion of
my life
<SpaceMonkey> Your life doesn't have a better portion

<gore> man
<gore> i wouldnt be caught dead with a necropheliac