bash.org archive

<AGodlyHeretic> and i installed enough security equipment on
my computer, that even i think i might have gone overboard
<smokedbrown> lol
<AGodlyHeretic> no seriously, it records every keystroke i
make and is totally hidden. can only be DETECTED with my
password, and requires a second password to open it. it also
is designed to take screenshots everyso often when a specific
strings is typed
<smokedbrown> Dude.
<smokedbrown> um.
<smokedbrown> the white people of waco called. they want thier
paranoia back

<Tonberry> MPs do the same thing on a military base as regular
cops do in a city
<metaldark> harass blacks and skaters?

<Suiko> how the fuck could a search for 'final fantasy 7
manga' bring up 'harry potter yaoi'

<Kosta> I saw Debra Messing at a resaurant today and we had
anal sex in the bathroom.  (only half of the previous
statement is true.)
<AmbushBug> I saw Street Magician David Blaine at Best Buy
today, and he bought like six copies of True Romance on DVD
(100% of the previous statement is true.)
<MrFixIt> six copies. . . that's enough for every orifice
<AmbushBug> I was just watching him, waiting for him to use
street magic to steal shit.
<AmbushBug> I assume it was Christmas shopping.  he got like
five copies of ET too, and several iPods.
<MrFixIt> Should've challenged him to a battle of magic
<MrFixIt> and then shot him
<AmbushBug> I was really hoping he was gonna steal shit.
<AmbushBug> I didn't want to mess up his scam.
<Kosta> Maybe he did and you couldn't notice
<Kosta> He's really magical so he might have.
<AmbushBug> I thought the multiple copies were part of his
schtick.
<AmbushBug> "I see you're going to buy six copies of True
Romance, Mr. Blaine."  "Six copies?  OR ONLY ONE?"
<AmbushBug> "I know this looks like an X-Box... but it is
really a single AAA battery!"
<Kosta> He probably buys multiple copies of movies like that
so people on IRC will talk about it and it makes his
reputation all freaky, cause WHAT KIND OF FREAK BUYS THAT MUCH
TRUE ROMANCE?  Also, Sicilians are spawned from niggers.

<CrackPr0n-EET-NoPants> but your fucking pathetic 14 yr. old
mine doesn't realize that does it?
<Accident> :|
<CrackPr0n-EET-NoPants> mind*
<Accident> at lead i can spell

<abcbooze> a patriot missle shot down a british aircraft
<i8> Damn British pilots flying into our missiles...

<Breserk> I love your humour :D
<ErectuZ> I love your balls
<Breserk> :/
<ErectuZ> you seen Team America?
<Breserk> Physically?
<Breserk> Nope.
<ErectuZ> oh
<ErectuZ> then that miht have sounded a bit perverted
<Breserk> Yes.

<smcn> To buy a PS2, or not to buy a PS2: that is the
question. Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the moral
decay of selling my soul to Sony, or to never play Final
Fantasy X?

<Poo> Imagine my surprise when Jim said the Hamtaro girl was
hot and I was weirded out cause she was a 5th grade girl
<Poo> Then I found out he was talking about the hamster

Whitetail deer18: Attention all pokemon card trainiers!!!  I
am starting up a internet membership where those who have card
decks can play eachother over the net.  Only catch is honesty
about the types of cards you have.
Trazzy: attention all pokemon card trainers: GO GET LAID.

<Soulphonat> My cat only speaks in analog
<Soulphonat> it's cute

<metroid23> wtf... i heard this kind of "knock" on my front
door, i go to check and theres a dead squirrel on my NEIGHBORS
porch O_o
<ScumDog> does it look injured?
<metroid23> its fucking dead
<Gaffect> fell from a tree?
<metroid23> hahaha, right, on the nearest tree (50 feet away)
and then being projected 45 feet horizontally and then falling
thru two stories of concrete :)
<metroid23> poor guy

<GauHelldragon> there was so much freakin' vodka at AX
<GauHelldragon> they had a bunch of pitchers at a table
<GauHelldragon> freakin' FILLED with vodka
<GauHelldragon> it was crazy
<Odo> are you sure that wasn't water
<GauHelldragon> oh yea it might have been water

<Kwyjibo> the vector keeps throwing an exception when using
std::vector<Texture*>
<Kwyjibo> when i insert ()
<hanzwurst> throw it back ;)
<Kwyjibo> hey
<Kwyjibo> this would a add a new meaning to the word "class
struggle" ;)

<CactusJack> thats exeactly it...
(putnam): i lip synced rubber ducky by ernie from sesame
street in literature for a project once.
(putnam): that brought the damn house down. i couldnt believe
how perverted the song is
(putnam): i danced too. and got people into it. they were
clapping.

<Scoteh> Im depressed
<wizzer> why?
<Scoteh> I realised I have more money in an mmorpg than in
real life....
<wizzer> Ah......

<Trippin^Chick> it wouldnt hurt to talk u know
<Trippin^Chick> i know coz i talk all the time
<Hash_Pipe> i want to ask you a bunch of questions and i want
to have them answered immediately
<Trippin^Chick> really?
<Hash_Pipe> who is your daddy and what does he do?
* Trippin^Chick shrugs
<Trippin^Chick> can i lie?
<Hash_Pipe> im a cop you idiot
<Trippin^Chick> cool
<Trippin^Chick> really?
<Hash_Pipe> stop it!
<Hash_Pipe> who is your daddy and what does he do?
<Hash_Pipe> i want to ask you a bunch of questions and i want
to have them answered immediately
<Trippin^Chick> Hash_Pipe...has any1 ever had the heart to
tell u that ur boring?
<Hash_Pipe> stop whining......
<Trippin^Chick> who was whining?
<Hash_Pipe> stop it!
<Hash_Pipe> stop whining......
<Hash_Pipe> i hope you leave enough room for my fist because
im going to ram it into your stomach
<Trippin^Chick> ur not a very nice person r u Hash?
<Hash_Pipe> stop whining......

<KainSularei> ah, bash.org
<KainSularei> 17037 quotes approved; 13482 quotes copied from
the top 100 bash quotes pending; 5 original quotes pending

<Monkah> i dont complain about ur interspecies breeding habits
<goatus> for the last time, your mums ugly, but shes still
human

<@Tilt> this is the funniest thing i have ever read in a
sources TODO list
<@Tilt> o Learn C

<Wilfred> Do you think I could kick your mom's ass Justin?
<Wilfred> And remember...I've had weapons training.
<Michael> Masturbating in the closet doesn't count as "Weapons
training" in Canada. No matter how thin and pointy it is.
<Wilfred> It's very thin and pointy.

<ModIWD> these girl scouts on this box almost look old enough
<ModIWD> to uh
<ModIWD> be selling cookies

<_3Apophis> how i'm i stupid?

<Astroboy> Im going to murder the next girl I ever hear make
some comment about being over weight.
<Astroboy> Unless the girl is like 500 pounds.
<Trinity> I am so over weight.
<Astroboy> Trinity way to be a absurdly difficult distance
away for me to murder you.

<nien_rima> actually, jaffars right there
<Jaffar> Oh for the love of Christ, shut the Hell --
<Jaffar> Oh wait.
<Jaffar> You were agreeing with me.
<Jaffar> Nevermind then, carry on.

<aiko> Whenever I see animal sex on TV, it's always awkward
because there's no cheesy porn music in the background.
<aiko> But I guess if they used cheesy porn music, people
would automatically start masturbating.

<Jason_Bee> we'd probably all die if the stock market crashed
<Mugworm> well yea, if it crashed right into your house

<Leb> I'VE BLOODY WELL FORGOTTEN WHAT I HAD INTENDED TO DO
<Leb> though i have a sneaking suspicion that it involves an
immense iron penis

<Warfle> So get this.
<Warfle> I'm getting my car inspected and theres this girl in
line ahead of me.
<Warfle> Pushing her car.
<Warfle> "I don't think she's going to pass inspection"

<phubuh> WHY THE HELL DO PEOPLE DO THIS
<phubuh> I JUST DOWNLOADED SoF2 AND IT WAS BLACK&WHITE
<phubuh> OH I KNOW I'LL NAME IS SOF2 SO MORE PEOPLE DOWNLOAD
FROM ME AND USE MY BANDWITH OR HEY WAIT A MINUTE
<Katana> I tried downloading Harry Potter and got Ancient
Secrets of Asian Sex

<Theseus> get the free like 10 CDs they give you
<Theseus> then write a letter to them signed under your
parents name saying you burned all those satan music CDs, and
to never send mail to that address again

<Ray[RDN]> My skin is all pale, im like superskinny, and I
smell bad.
<Ray[RDN]> I think i'm dead

<Yukkel> a belch is not an oral report

<blue-elf> IRC Weather: Partly laggy with an 80% chance of
netsplits.Expect some afternoon smurf attacks coupled with
windbags from the east.

<freeweed> actuall i'm ambivalent :)
<DaemoN_> ???
<DaemoN_> lesbian?

<CommanderStab> When I was 10 me and this friend of mine who
was four years older than me made this Visual Basic game
called Fatal Move. Basically these pictures he drew would pop
up with some text like "This guy is a geek! Let's kill him!!"
and then if you clicked yes another picture would be shown
with him dead, and if you clicked no some guy called you a
wimp and the game quit.
<Bleeding> did the irony of u saying 'lets kill geeks' in a
game u wrote in vb ever sink in?
<CommanderStab> His character was called "Carrot Head" and he
was this cool looking carrot with a special knife.
<CommanderStab> My chracter was "Unco-body the Head Shaker"
who was some retarded guy with a gun he couldn't aim properly
with, and he just sat there laughing goofily all the time.
<Bleeding> gee let me guess who wore the pants in ur
friendship

<Farnarcle> you use mIRC?
<EvilElmo`> whats mIRC?
<Farnarcle> ok dont worry diff IRC proggy
<EvilElmo`> whats IRC?

<SaeNoDa> but I wont
<SaeNoDa> i mean, whats the point in cheating, right?
<mightyflo> winning?

<LordArgent> I see an iMac and I want it painted black, no
colors anymore I want them to turn black.
<LordArgent> It's not a real computer, you have to face the
facts. When you're on a Macintosh, your soul has turned to
black.

<[Frank]> -=- Frank's Radio -=- 166.90.143.148:17714 -=- Now
Playing: Terra Branford Theme - Piano STYLE! :D -=- Always
Taking Requests!
<`Frieza> i request you go get hit by a car

<@Black_Dog> ryo: if you were a sheep, would you fuck a sheep?
<@Ryo_Hayasa> BD: damn straight i would
<@Ryo_Hayasa> BD: or the farmer's daughter

<dr_rotcod> if my computer were human it'd be a limbless
retard

kayzee is currently listening to [Your Mum and Dad - 'Having
Sex' (0min 12secs long)]

<Affe> god damn black socks
<Affe> i need to start pairing them together
<Affe> i pulled some out figuring 'oh if i pull out a few,
i'll eventually end up with a pair'
<Affe> i had 8 different kinds of socks in my hand
<Ouroboros> Wow, Affe.
<Ouroboros> Your life must be incredibly boring if you thought
that was interesting enough to tell us.

SquallBane: True gamers don't need controllers/keyboards/mice.
SquallBane: They memorize the game and play it in their head.
blindpyro: wtf.
blindpyro: then how do you play mulplayer.
SquallBane: You get three friends to sit in the same room and
rattle off verbose descriptions of what's happening.

<deadpewl> dude
<Darn> hmmm I'm wondoring about these ranchos
<deadpewl> this dumb slut is at my house
<deadpewl> she wont leave
<deadpewl> but she wont fuck me
<deadpewl> wtf
<deadpewl> but she buys me beer and food
<deadpewl> so I guess she can stay
<TheDrip> just shove your cock in her mouth, and if she done
like it, throw her out
<deadpewl> brb

<k3vil> Hey how did it work out with your(ex)gurlfriend ;)
<Mac]{> I think she still wants
<Mac]{> I see her every week
<Mac]{> :P
<k3vil> see == ?
<Mac]{> uhh
<k3vil> see
<k3vil> where.. in bed? :)
<Mac]{> see = /invite her #my_room
<k3vil> hahaahah
<Mac]{> and /op her #bed
<Mac]{> and /mode #bed +i
<k3vil> haha
<Mac]{> :P
<k3vil> /msg #ear whore!
<Mac]{> haha
<k3vil> /part #legs
<Mac]{> foreplay = /ctcp her !finger
<Mac]{> afterplay = /dcc chat her
<k3vil> /join #pussy
<k3vil> /whois #stench_from_pussy
<Mac]{> heh
<Mac]{> /kickban her | /notice her come back next week
<k3vil> /query #pussy spermanoids
<k3vil> hehehe

| Lavalamp is ([email protected]])
<@madog> vietnam sucks anyway
<Lavalamp> vn = vietnam?
<Lavalamp> maybe that's why it's so lagged
<@madog> *sigh*
<@Guilty> I figured Vietnam would have a wonderful network of
fiber since all the holes were already dug

<@dekkon> ive got an appointment at the eye doctor on the 13th
<@dekkon> finally going to get contacts
<@terminal_> contacts are a pain in the ass
<+jmx> terminal they go in your eyes

<valetine_4_ever> Piracy is wrong
<valetine_4_ever> Cool, but wrong
<Kalen> But it feels oh so right.
<Loony_BoB> It's not wrong
<Loony_BoB> They just have laws against it

<Delusion> "US attacked by four concurrent hijacking
incidents. US gas stations celebrate by immediate 25 cent
price increase."

* StorDuff has joined #suicide
<StorDuff> YOU ARE ALL USELESS
<ManInMoon> tell me something I didn't know already

<Volt9000> Grog is where it's at
<AL9000> Yar!
<Volt9000> Do you mock me?
<AL9000> No, I'm agreeing with you
<Volt9000> LIAR! You mock me with your pirate attitude!
<Volt9000> I'll make you WALK TEH PLAKN!!!!11
<AL9000> ONLY IF I GET TO SWAB YUOR POOP DECKS!!!1
* AL9000 yanks off Volt's pants
<AL9000> YAARRR! PREPARE TO BE BOARDED!

[02:46am] [+oc] earlier when my video card wasnt working i
started crying seriously

<carrot_> blast
<S|eeper> blast???
<carrot_> tis my non swear word swear word
<Audio> Mine is blowfish
<S|eeper> mine is fuck
<S|eeper> oh wait

<shagman> and here I go rollerblading in black jeans and a
dark blue t-shirt
<shagman> it must be 40 out
<SourKey> your nuts
<shagman> yeah, they're hot too

<+billy_s> im taking a break from programming and trying to
escape the world of geekness and then winamp brings up "Norah
Jones - Pointer Song" GODAMN IT LEAVE ME ALONE

Kristopolous: I don't think we should have thermometers,
speedometers, or odometers.
Kristopolous: This is America damn it!
Kristopolous: Thermofeet, speedofeet, and odofeet for me,
thank you very much!

<dst> mirc is a piece of shit
<dst> I wouldn't let any of my kids use it
<dodgo> i would let my kids suck my dick, doesnt mean i'd stop
everyone from it
<dodgo> i wouldn't
<doogsey> er
<dodgo> oh fuck

<Rowdy> I made a really evil alarm for myself this morning.
<Stoney> An evil alarm?
<Rowdy> sleep 21600 && cat /kernel > /dev/audio
<Rowdy> Turn your speakers to max and do that.
<Rowdy> It is MEAN.
<matt> i have lots of kewl mp3 mixing software atm :)
<Rowdy> Think like an air raid siren crossed with a million
babies crying in unison.
<matt> .. and then were suddenly silenced?
<Rowdy> HAHAHAHAHAA
<Rowdy> ROFL
<Rowdy> That's the shit.

<cortXbomb> yo, I need some good shit to put on my resume that
makes it look lilke I use my computers for more than general
piracy

[Synoptica] no, he's not lagged. he's just stupid.

<CurlyEars> sorry....I am a bit compulsive about spelling an
grammar

<dh> man irc is a waste of time...i should go play quake or
something...

<Uhh_Duh> relationships are so easy thanks to the internet..
you can establish and destroy them at the touch of a few keys!
<black-ice> it all starts with 3 letters, asl
<black-ice> and ends with stfu

<karhu> hey, I want to analyse my mail logs with a shell
script.
<Slayer99> Okay, you have our permission to do so.

<MissTika> how have you been?
<Sage> Good, good. And you?
<MissTika> oksy I guess, had a falling out with two of my "
best" friends but other then that heh
<Ne0_Rat> Tika has been arguing with her boobs again.

<Danny> Last night I was at my school at like 10pm
<Danny> waiting for my mom to pick me up
<Danny> and this minivan comes in the parking lot
<Danny> and starts doing burnouts and 180's
<Danny> it was the most pathetic thing
<Brad> heh I bet you'd say the same thing about me in my
Marquis
<Danny> No, I don't think so.
<Danny> This Minivan had a "Be careful, Honor student on
board." bumper sticker on it...

<lagrange> I had a doctor's appointment today about the way I
keep oversleeping. I overslept and missed it.