bash.org archive

||RoGuE||: yesterday, my sister came to me and asked me where
were my parents, and she smelled like beer
||RoGuE||: and i said... Minni, by the smell of your breath i
can tell you have been drinking
||RoGuE||: and then she said... well, by the smell of your
breath i can tell you have been sucking cock
[StOrM]: what did you do rogue?
||RoGuE||: i brushed my teeth ¬_¬

<@Usama> I am gonna get a tattoo of a $100 bill on my
penis.....because women like to blow money and I like to watch
my money grow.

<LordTalon> My circumsicion scar seems to be bleeding, what
should I do?

Dan: It may be Saturday morning, but IRC is the protocol that
never sleeps!
azc: As far as I know, the only protocol that sleeps is ACPI
:D

<antix> i have a poem
<Lulu> share
<antix> its call "an irc life"
<antix> my bandwidth
<antix> i lag... i lag
<antix> i die....
<antix> the end
<fluxz0r> that was so touching

<Blackwolf> i'm visiting my gf in the hospital tomorroy...yay
<ereque> whats up with her?
<altemark> ereque: she managed to dig herself up

<%rundata> man my wifes read that 50 shades of grey
<Karnaksbitch> Aw god ur al makin me cringe
<%rundata> she was like "have you heard of fisting?"
<%rundata> ive seen women shoulder deep in other women

<djlaptop> could God write a program that's so intensive that
his cpu couldn't run it?

<+Macolio> I'm just waiting for the day Square will finally
come out of the closet and just release an FF with hardcore
gay sex between the effeminate leads.

<burrito> lol ya
<burrito> who the hell is burrito?
<burrito> oh shit
<burrito> nm
<veet|z0r> LOL
<BBQ_69> fool
<veet|z0r> You suck :D

<Xellchiri> BFS, I have a message for you
<BloodFromStone> A message for me?
<BloodFromStone> From whom?
<Xellchiri> Darthie
<Xellchiri>  "May you be cursed with the flatulence of a rabid
camel."
<BloodFromStone> Xell: Hrmm... I find myself uninjured by her
attacks. =P
* Xellchiri rolls 1d20 :: 8
<Xellchiri> yeah, she missed

<Isengard> arkenstone: if i (one day) have to get a pacemaker,
i'm gonna insist on a serial interface for it ;)
<Isengard> jack meself in at night, check the stats.
<arkenstone> Isengard: my uncle had a ps2 port looking thing
in his side
<Isengard> or usb, that way i could recharge ;)
<golgy> run snmp traps
<galahad> golgy: laugh
<golgy> "Warning: Heart not beating"
<galahad> yeah, it would be amusing
<galahad> the coroner could just grep syslog for "fuxor" to
determine time of death..

(Stacey```) justin can you please tell me where you work
(Stacey```) or teach me how to hack and find out

<Packet> Reminds me of the time I was naked and tried to break
into that grade school...
<Packet> What were we talking about?

<UltimateMetroid> who here plays metroid?
<Daishi> I only play it cause you gotta know samus is hot
under that suit
<UltimateMetroid> fag
<Daishi> dumbass

Customer: "I CAN'T READ OR RECEIVE EMAIL! HELP!"
We're only allowed to reply through email, so I almost deleted
it. But I reconsidered.
Tech Support: "Yes you can."

<gloone> and they go "hey, you can have fun without chicks you
know.."
<gloone> i don't wanna get drunk if there's no chicks around..

<Lich> I don't have a superiority complex. I'm jsut better
than all of you.
<Lich> *just
<Lich> Shut up.

<Scibert> Meeko: I know nothing about the female waste system,
but I would tend to think that having an emitter that you move
around would make your aim better.
<Chirako> She lowered her lips to his... swelling emitter...

<Antifuse> christ it's hot out today too
<Bionic_6> yea
<Bionic_6> sweating like pedophile in a playground

<[ric]> Jim, tsk, tsk... you're getting as bad as me :)
<JibberJim> Eh, I've never been unnatural with a goat.
<[ric]> jim... ok, almost as bad as me

<SanGreal> holy shit I'm stupid
<SanGreal> I just took my laptop plug
<SanGreal> and licked it
<SanGreal> while it was plugged in
<SanGreal> :
<Funky_> ...
<Funky_> so does that mean you lick your plugs when they are
not plugged in?
<SanGreal> :
<Funky_> yes or no?
<SanGreal> no comment

<Sinclair-> i liked the new travel slogan for Gaza
<Sinclair-> "Now only a stone's throw from jerusalem"
<@Death-Blade> lol

(synak) have you ever had to take a shit so bad, but you didnt
want to leave irc that you just ended up shittign your pants?
.. well, i just did .. computers are cool.

<dr_rotcod> i wonder if my life sucks cause i jerk off after i
pray

<Wilykat> I'm so goth, I pee black stuff.
<Wilykat> My goth friends say I should go see a doctor.
<Wilykat> But they are just not goth enough to understand!

(chronic1) i wouldn't like a virgin....i think they deserve a
professional fuck the first time so they are not
dissappointed....i could go down...but i am not the best fuck
...
(chronic1) if masterbation made you good, i'd be the best

<cain> YOU COULD NOT GET PLAY IF YOU WALKED INTO A WHOREHOUSE
WITH YOUR DICK SANDWICHED BETWEEN A AMEX AND A PLATINUM VISA

* woodss has Favourites
* fungi has Bookmarks
* morner has a secretary :P
morner: well, more of an assistant really
morner: ...
morner: ok, it's a pda

<@Breathe> Server announcement:  >>Attention please: We are
about to reset the Linuxguy server to upgrade the chat
softweare. This will cause you to disconnect. You should be
able to reconnect right away. If you have any problems, please
let us know in #magicstar.. We will reset linuxguy in 2
minutes.<<
<@Breathe> I love it.  "If you can't reconnect, come into a
channel and let us know!"

<nird> no i would never associate myself with ravers. i listen
to intellegent music like nirvana, rush, and tori amos

<Nrrd> never mind telnet I've been wokring on a communications
protocol using smoke from spliffs and bongs
<Nrrd> Toke-n Ring networking I'm calling it

<muffins> Okay, earlier, when I said "FUCK" and left, my
grandfather came with a truck load of wood for me to cart
someplace. Because "Good Christian Young Men" do things like
use chainsaws and cart wood.
<muffins> Another thing Good Christian Young Men do is shoot
guns. And go to church. I think I'm failing.
<RedBeard> muffins: so kill two birds with one stone. shoot
guns in church.

<CrazyHarij> But stuff like that messes up your mind.. try
imagining what really is outside the universe and stuff like
that.. or what happened before big bang / the creation, and
before that and before that
<BadHat> yeah, and where the fuck the remote's at

<Nookadum> Microsoft plans to disclose 385 pieces of computer
code and internal operating rules, previously kept secret,
that outside developers can use to write programs to run on
Windows.
<Nookadum> 385 pieces of code...
<Nookadum> WTF do they mean by 385 pieces of code?
<Fraggy> "take one down, pass it around!"
<Fraggy> "384 pieces of code on the page....."

<obso> christ
<obso> you get drunk and make out with a guy
<obso> and all of a sudden all of irc is on yer ass
<obso> my girlfriend thought it was cute.

<Troy1> "Hey baby, what channels do you hang out in?"

<@Plaid> this song is much better with long hair

<tipz> just remember kids
<tipz> hippos eat strawberry ice cream
<thadood> I'll keep that in mind next time I visit your mom.

<hallam> Buy a planeticket...when you are in the air - go to
the toilet.. cut off your pubichairs and glue em to your
chin.. wrap toiletpaper around the top of your head.. KICK THE
DOOR out to the toilet .. jump out and screaam 'Allah akbar'..

DeusXMac: the president isn't showing his face to the
public.... cuz he's sitting in the oval office with the
military's top brass playing network Command & Conquer
AceT: he's not playing network C&C, he's doing the single
player campaign

rennsportt: im wishin i would just go ta bed
rennsportt: i got a 9am
Kilik423: why don't you
rennsportt: tryin to install software  i need tomorow off a
network drive
rennsportt: installed it earlier
rennsportt: but din work
rennsportt: so im tryin again
rennsportt: if it dont work this time, im givin up
Kilik423: heh
Kilik423: you know what you need?
rennsportt: whats that
Kilik423: more cowbell

<LUEshi> What's the default font of the GameFAQs forums?
<Sexy_Truck> Braille.
<LUEshi> ...

<@HollowmaN> The goverment was sterilizing retarded people for
a few decades but stopped in the 70's. luckily i was born in
the 80's

<cravecave> I used to have a gig of ram
<cravecave> then one stick went limp and even viagra couldnt
help it, now it just prematurely ejaculates and XP, being the
slut she is, doesnt like when that happens and has a fit
* harrellj looks at cravecave
* Astral does too
* harrellj puts that in her quit messages
<cravecave> All I was trying to say was I'm only half the
system I used to be

<Suiko> Cats have 9 lives, which makes them ideal for
experimentation!

[Swifty] its unfortunate because whenever she's explaining
trigonometry or whatever, im usually trying to hide my brute
of an erection

<antimatter> i like my penis
<antimatter> it's so cute
<antimatter> sometimes i put makeup on it and talk to it
<antimatter> one time it talked back...scared me
<antimatter> it said 'wie geht es ihnen mein freunde'
<antimatter> my penis is bilingual

[Sober|wrk]: Christina Aguilera's Nipple Tweaker Goes on
Strike
[pHluid-]: This dude *quit* being Christina Aguilera's nipple
tweaker?
[Sober|wrk]: hehehe
: pHluid- is away: Making a resume.

<Kalium> "Home is where the bandwidth is."
<Milkdud> lol
<Kalium> Someday, I'll have that line on my doormat

<Danny> i never had problems with any italian folks
<Dr SpaZZo> I've had a problem with them grabbing me by the
neck and offering me a vanilla coke

<Lyrai> What's the difference between Slow Motion and Bullet
Time?
<Lyrai> About $100 Million.

<Chibi-Trekkie> at school, some guy was like
<Chibi-Trekkie> are you going to prom?
<Chibi-Trekkie> and another guy was like PRON!? WHERE

<CaSe-> mines this big
[-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------]
<Commando^> Your dick has wordwrap?

(snpr^): 1337 = l33t = leet = elite = ghey

<ckoo> haha some lady asked me where she could get headphones
so I told her "the source"  aka radioshack.   She walked
outside,  turned,  and walked straight toward "SOURCE adult
video"
<reaper> Ahahahah!

<@SwampGas> THE CHICKEN IS IN THE POT
<@SwampGas> COME IN RED SQUIRREL
<@SwampGas> COOK IT.
<@SwampGas> that's admin code talk
<@SwampGas> "they got illegal files"
<@SwampGas> "delete it"

[23:34] [+xvize] c++ is made in borland

<Devo-> The Buddhist hamburger joint: they'l make you one with
everything.

<Darth-Phenom> I remember in third grade I was taught that
it's sinful to erase the word "God".  But now I backspace
"god" when I want to type "good" so frequently I'm obviously
going to Hell.

<Mr_Grinch> i just burned my nose hair
<Mr_Grinch> by trying to smell the flame of my lighter

<ecs> i heard ass and i came as fast as i could
<ecs> oh man...
<ecs> i just realized how terrible that sounded

<meb> you never typo with dovakr

<bdi> if you lookin' for sympathy, you better look between R
and T in the fucking dictionary

(+AeroBob): Ooh! New saying. "A Werthers Original is like anal
sex..."
(@Pixie|3554Y): They're both given by grandad? :O
(+AeroBob): And, of course, both are best served hard.

<ShadiZar> get your happy ass over here then
<ShadiZar> i could use a good hard... well, anything
<`KArmA> oh sure. . . its always karma come do this for me. .
come out to texas karma, fuck me like a beast karma, oh harder
karma
<`KArmA> what about *MY* needs goddamnit!?!?

<Bearsy> hehehe... you dont really NEED pants.. they're just a
nice to have
<rik0> i only have them for the pockets

<Guyver3> ive found, that dreaming that you get shot in the
chest, twice, by an assassin that looks like Odo, in the back
of car, and
feeling your heart slow down to almost nothing, leaves a
really acidic taste in your mouth when you wake up
<a_0001> then don't dream that
<Guyver3> i didnt say that i disliked the acidic taste

1:35a (mdxi) twenty-three hours of logs for this month and
already 9 searches for "legolas porn" and 2 for, even more
disturbingly, "gimli porn"
1:35a (mdxi) some days i think we should all just go back to
fidonet