bash.org archive

<astromash> why is bush bombing iraq
<NAKAHARA> He Can't Find Afghanistan.

<dEaD_fAiRy> plus the guy has to look a certian way to turn me
on
<Mousey> does he have to look desperate

<CarnivorousPlant> dog + compost /= (dog+compost)
<CarnivorousPlant> (dog+compost) = dog^compost
<CarnivorousPlant> and if any mathematicians object, they are
free to come over here and smell this blasted dog

<thom> CTCP VERSION: DICKS 2.0 OS, 69 K OF FREE ASS SPACE
<cstone> ALLOCATING PRICKS
<rbw> AHLGUAHGLUHALGUHAGUHAGLUHAG  I SEEM TO BE HAVING A
BUFFER OVERFLOW PROBLEM HERE PEOPLE

<jgannon> Quicktime 0wnz... if you have a Mac. :-)
<PatrickD> so where can I go to download a Mac? ;-)
<jgannon> PatrickD: www.goatse.cx
<jgannon> Wow... I haven't said THAT in a long time.
<PatrickD> somehow that version of the Mac never worked well
for me
<jgannon> Yeah... too many wide open ports.

<DizzDvl> didja know that a bee's penis breaks off in the
queen and she saves it for later?
<rabbit> saves it for later for what?
<DizzDvl> saves it for later when she needs to fertilize eggs
<MoouadDib> if the queen's next lover isn't as good she slaps
him with the penis of previous lovers

<oyvind> what's a vegan?
<junk> something you should stab in the face

Alter Legiones: i need a job. don't supose you'd pay me to
build you a computer? ^_^
Burning Broly: lol,if i can pay you with 11-14 year old
prostitutes
Alter Legiones: hmm...
Alter Legiones: i think we can work something out

<`torm`> i like ur mom
<Cyphatic> necrophiliac
<`torm`> 0ipoi
<`torm`> [ pjpi i\o
<`torm`> [ppjp[
<`torm`> sopjrry
<`torm`> sorry
<`torm`> i like ur sister
<`torm`> i heard she is very hotz
<Cyphatic> pedophile
<`torm`> ophr

<IsamuDyson> i think they need to get out and meet some people
<BloodFromStone> Hey, I won't allow that kind of talk in here.

mellotron: wow, this is just begging for police investigation
mellotron: alt.binaries.porn.children
Indolentron: dont worry!  it's porn *for* children!
Indolentron: the word of the day is "clitoris!" can you find
the clitoris on this woman's vulva?

*** DarkElf changes topic to "Sundancer Kicked Hiro's butt at
Pool!! :) that's Mr 'I have my own table at home' Gay
Helicopter Pilot Hiro (in case you were wondering)"
<Hiro> *growl*
*** Hiro changes topic to "I lost ONE FUCKING GAME to her ok?"
*** DarkElf changes topic to "yes, but to a WOMAN ?"
<Hiro> she isnt a women
<Hiro> she is a beast from the pits of hell
<Hiro> a demon possessed her
<DarkElf> see - reading that bible thing may have helped
you... and you laughed at the people in #alive
*** DarkElf changes topic to "Hiro converts to christianity"
<Hiro> de: even jesus would have lost that fucking game of
pool
<Hiro> I need a gun, so I can shoot myself
<DarkElf> Hiro: why don't you just stab yoursefl in the eye
with the pool cue.....
<DarkElf> hang on though, going on sunny's description of you
skill you'll probably miss *grin

<@godofcows> I swear that'd have to be the most evil thing you
could do
<@Vinic> what about donating 30 billion dollars of countefiet
cash to child cancer societies?
<@Vinic> on the back of each bill is you jacking off and
saying 'here's your medicine bitch'

<Acero> i hate this piece of shit router!
<Acero> what do i do now
<Acero> this piece of crap wont fix
<Acero> i hate fucking networking
<SD_Washu> rtfm?
<Acero> i did
<Acero> i read it like 3 times
<Acero> it doesnt have a warez troubleshooting section
<Acero> how to connect to your illegal ftp servers
<Acero> "router settings for couriers"

meird: no his sister is really creepy man
hindenburg: like goth and morbid type creepy?
meird: not exactly
meird: you know how like little kids write on walls?
hindenburg: thats not that creepy
meird: it is when you wake up at 2am, and shes standing over
you gripping a giant sharpy like a knife
meird: the wall was covered in the fibonacci sequence or
something like that
meird: its funny how many serial killer horror movies can
flash in front of your eyes in the fraction of a second

<Volt9000> oy this is lame
<Volt9000> some 3 year old "genius" kid
<Volt9000> WOW HE KNOWS THE CAPITALS OF COUNTRIES
<DopefishJustin> omfg
<Volt9000> YEAH THAT MAKES HIM A GENIUS
<DopefishJustin> autistic more likely
<Volt9000> ROFL!!!!
<DopefishJustin> or maybe just a fucking dork
<Volt9000> :D
<Roger|tehsleep> OMG WHAT'S THE CAPITAL OF MEXICO?!
"vuenezuela" YOU GENIUS
<Volt9000> that autistic comment was awful :D
<Volt9000> ROFL ROGER
* Volt9000 can't breathe
<DopefishJustin> it's Mexico City, not one of the harder
capitols :P
<Roger|tehsleep> i know that
<Roger|tehsleep> vuenezuela is the capital of peru, silly
<DopefishJustin> oh yeah

<Maarken> anyone know of good places to price cisco stuff? I
don't want to do all their touchy feely salesperson shit.

<Beige> It's one o'clock.
<Beige> Do you know where your children are?
<Apollyon> In my testes.

<Kowalski> Graeme - There are 10 million Norwegians, you can't
piss all of them off
<Graeme> i could shoot A-Ha.

<SchoolyD> if women couldn't talk, i bet we would be living on
mars right now
<Islamikaze> yes
<SchoolyD> but women keep nagging men
<SchoolyD> "leave those equations alone and mow the lawn!"

<lassietoverrijst> 'pwned' is the new amen

<Kayma> Watching these DBZ episodes makes me hurt inside.
<BiGiGnome> No, that was me poking you.
<Kayma> Ohhh.
<BiGiGnome> I poke you in a special way.

<Modok> going to England, Germany, Amsterdam, Italy, and then
Netherlands
<Numbus> Amsterdam isn't a country it is the Capitol of the
Netherlands...
<Modok> It is?

<Avalanche> !seen bud
[@bud] Avalanche, I'm right here. Quit wasting my time!
<Avalanche> !seen vagina
[Respecter] lol
[@bud] Avalanche, I don't remember seeing vagina.
<Avalanche> why does that not surprise me

<isocat> isceald.  have you ever wondered whether there are
other worlds superimposed on your own? 
<isceald> i'm not sure what you mean, iso.
<ovalteen> he's asking you if you watch star trek.

<Blade> Too bad your ex wasn't there.
<Sonsquidku_V> She was in f*cking San Diego. Can you believe
that?
<Sonsquidku_V> There's like nothing there. It's mexican
canada.
<Blade> Seriously, it's like LA took a crap.
<Sonsquidku_V> And then that crap took a crap.
<Sonsquidku_V> And picked through the crap to find a land
mine.
<Sonsquidku_V> And threw it at my mom.
<Blade> XD
<Sonsquidku_V> Who fell down the stairs.
<Sonsquidku_V> And into a hole which led to China.
<Sonsquidku_V> And that's why I haven't seen her for the last
15 years.
<Blade> You have some issues, Dan.

<The-Jim> women can tell when other women are on though.
<harr|away> this family has a dog, a cat, and just added a
bird
<harr|away> The-Jim: yes, generally by pheromones
<crickett> i can tell when girls on their their period too
<crickett> generally by the shouts
<crickett> followed by the "i love you" 's
* crickett was kicked by harr|away (You are the weakest link.
Goodbye!)
* crickett has joined #artuproar
<The-Jim> no crickett that's not why they won't have sex with
you.
<Ronwe> /nod
<crickett> i fail to see why i would be kicked for that
comment
<The-Jim> Harr = woman
<crickett> thanks The-Jim
<The-Jim> Crickett = man making period jokes
<crickett> i dunno why that would offend
<crickett> i mean my slave didn't say anything about my black
jokes
<crickett>  ... that might be because i cut his tongue out
* crickett was kicked by harr|away (You are the weakest link.
Goodbye!)

<alexs> documentation is like sex, when its good, its very
good, when its bad, its better than nothing

<xjeff> ya'll want to see how fast I can type?
<Cereus> not really
<Cereus> i'd be more interested in seeing how correctly you
can type
<xjeff> me dont know wat u tlkin bout
<xjeff> .........
<Cereus> I, don't, what, you, talking, about
<Cereus> congratulations. one word correct

<static> there's one of those funny looking airconditioning
fan thingies out side the mall nearby.  it blows air straight
up out of the sidewalk.  I keep looking at it as I walk by and
wondering "if I stand on it,  will it push me up to the second
level of the mall?"
<static> I think I play too many video games.
<FJ> test it
<FJ> throw a cat into the stream
<FJ> at the vry least, you'll be laughing your butt off

<SporkPrez>  largo, whats it like being net-famous?
<asr> whats net-famous?
<largo[mt]> net-famous is when you get the all drawbacks of
having computer geek fans who know about you, without any of
the benefits.
<asr> like groupies?
<largo[mt]> no, you get those, but the rank smell takes awhile
to get used to.
<SporkPrez> like when you mix bleach and ammonia?
<largo[mt]> I wish it were that pleasant.

MultiColoredWiz: My grammar's usually pretty good, but I still
don't get laid or lain.
MultiColoredWiz: err..
Gizmog1: Heheh.

<vman_> wow
<vman_> 2 iranians in here
<vman_> amazing
<vman_> IM NOT A MINORITY ANYMORE U STUPID FUCKS
<vman_> HAHA!

<Chris> DeMonYus!
[email protected]
<-- prime example of why some people should NEVER be able to
touch a DNS server

<@Kamakazi> i've seen a cat land on it's head
<@Kamakazi> it was my fault
<@Kamakazi> i tried to make it do 2 backflips
<@Kamakazi> it was at my friends house
<@Kamakazi> i wanted to see if they ALWAYS landed on their
feet
<@Kamakazi> so i dropped him and he did.
<@Kamakazi> and i was like hmm...
<@Kamakazi> i wonder how many backflips he could do then

<Prozzy> I would, i have a scanner right next to me, BUT THINK
OF THE [FUTURE] CHILDREN. I'd hate to tell my kid with downs
syndrome that they're fucked up cuz i scanned my nuts.

<-- debutante has quit (This is for the guys who are
mastrubating: LARGE BLEEDING ASSHOLE. (Hopefully that made you
limp.))
<Pixelated> limp !
<Pixelated> that got me rock hard
<hardlined> you too?
<hardlined> Got a cam?

LordTwarog: i totally stalked her but only around school
LordTwarog: so it was like "oh, i'm on break too" and not "i
see you from the bushes"

<FLB> once sex tv showed a room full of women masturbating
<FLB> it was an "orgasm class"
<FLB> and they all go there
<Kamikaze_Watermelon> did you tape it?
<FLB> and in a group
<FLB> finger themselves.
<FLB> Umm
<FLB> No.
<Kamikaze_Watermelon> bastard
<FLB> I was uhh....
<FLB> taking notes?

<Celery533> I have single handedly programmed applications
which corporations have purchased from me.
* LS * Maur prefers to type double-handedly :)

<Darric> Dammit. Nothings working.
<Darric> Maybe my connection died.
<Darric> Or maybe.... the LAN server died.
<Darric> Or... THE WORLD'S OVER.
<Head> that sycks
<Head> sucks even
<Darric> Oh. You're still here.
<Darric> False alarm, everyone.

<McBob> THIS ROOM LACKS FUNNY
<Stickman_Retard> lol
<McBob> IT CANT HAVE FUNNY IF YOU SAY LOL TO "THIS ROOM LACKS
FUNNY"

<@Casper> Girl from work and I went to the pool hall
<@Casper> I asked her if she wanted to start talking
<@Casper> She said we would talk about it tomorrow
<@Casper> She has a nice looking sister too
<@cypher> start talking about what?
<@Casper> going out
<@cypher> people _plan_ relationship status?
<Vehementi> not only do they plan relationship status, they
plan *talking* about relationship status.
<Vehementi> later in the relationship this is more commonly
known as the "Let's talk about our relationship" trap
<@cypher> Vehementi: <3
<sh> $relationship->discuss();
<sh> new Relationship;

<jeff> if the butterfly effect isn't the best worst movie
ever, i don't know what is
<Calisa> Rotten Tomatoes has one review listed and it says,
"Hitchcock would be proud."
<jeff> proud to know he had nothing to do with that film

Dainichi> I'm going to start a band called Hand Solo.
Dainichi> Our first song will be a heavy metal cover of "I
Touch Myself"

(cow) like if you translate the shit she said into one
sentence
(cow) it was pretty much
(cow) i want cock
(cow) man i shoulda put quotes round that

<CrackZ> I'm gonna be getting a new boss soon too
<CrackZ> its a power hungry female
<CrackZ> ya know the type
<CrackZ> her 'can do' profile is going to clash with my 'can't
be arsed' profile

<Iggz> screw it
<Iggz> i'm gonna put this cottage cheese on my sandwhich
<Iggz> and no ones gonna stop me

* Joins: kcar181-
<kcar181-> baah
<kcar181-> My HDD drive is dead
<@matt1frek> dead?
<kcar181-> dead
<kcar181-> like the bios says "Where the fuck did your HDD go?
"

<cheese^> a virus that reboots your computer all the time
seems kinda pointless
<@BenKenobi>  cheese  i dunno.. microsoft makes millions
selling it every day

<Kazimierz> Dick Van Dyke
<Kazimierz> rulez j00
<nkrn> D:
<AeroBob> Indeed.
<AeroBob> D'you know that's not his real name?
<AeroBob> It used to be 'Penis van Lesbian' until he changed
it 'cause he thought it wasn't suitable for showbusiness.

<p0s> interesting.....humans build computers with hundreds of
millions of transistors....for rating each others poo

<arcaDEATH> I thought Tetris was like Solitare?

<PetrDoubt> Gee, the people who moved alzheimers.net's DNS
away from us forgot
to tell us.

<pHluid->  because everybody leet in linux types with all
lower case letters like this and no punctuation
<pHluid-> the shift key is for noobs
<pHluid-> periods are for chicks
<pHluid-> and god knows theres no chicks in #linux

<g3nocide> lol why the fuck would dreamweaver try to open an
mp3 file ?
<m0rn> is it made by real? that would explain the sudden
determination to be used for everything

<zuKi> YOU KNOW WHAT WAS CREEPY
<zuKi> AT THE BLOOD DRIVE AT SCHOOL THE BASEBALL COACH WAS
RACING THE FOOTBALL PLAYERS TO SEE WHO COULD GIVE THE MOST
BLOOD IN A GIVEN AMOUNT OF TIME
<zamros> HAHAHA
<_ry0suke_> :DDDDDDDDD
<zamros> WHAT ASSHOLES
<zuKi> AND HE'S ALL "IF YOU PUMP YOUR HAND YOU'LL GET MORE
BLOOD OUT OF IT
<_ry0suke_> DDDDDDDDDD:
<zuKi> IT WAS THE SCARIEST THING EVER
<zuKi> MAYBE X GAMES WILL HAVE A NEW SPORT
<zuKi> "TONY HAWK PRO BLOOD DONOR"

<kmad> ppl should stop using worn-out cliches because they're
not funny anymore
<}}T-DuB--> is that your final answer?

<MiakaYuki> Chillicha- you'd be better off finding a nice girl
to ride, wouldn't you?
<chillicha> i am a girl
<MiakaYuki> Exactly.

[09:56] <Thom> I wonder how many words they have for
'pervert'.
[09:56] <Squizzle> None.
[09:56] <Squizzle> The closest is their word for "native", I
bet.
[09:57] <Thom> 'hentai'. 'ecchi'.
[09:57] <Squizzle> Those both mean "Japanese man".

<b1u3> we got this admin dance that never fails to eventually
resurrect a crashed database server

<Surge> so if I say http:// I get kicked?
<Hodge> no
<Hodge> only if you join the channel and the first thign you
say within a set time limit of joinig is an url
<Hodge> so when people join a channel and go
<Hodge>  www.hotsexyfatwomenwithdildosupthereasses.com GOOD
FUCKING PRON EYAH CLICK CLICK
<Hodge> i ban them
<Hodge> automatically
<Hodge> I advise nobody clicks that btw
<Hodge> _just in case_
<Insane^> I hope to god that doesn't exits.
<Insane^> exist*
<Berger> It doesn't.
<Hodge> >_<
<Berger> =P

<adorecm> i just had to type out my proposal for english
class.
<whitcomb>  "Dear Gay English teacher:  I will marry you for
an A.  Sincerely, Eric Metz."
<adorecm> not a proposal like that

<myles> i jus wanna go to court and b on the plantiff side for
once

<nARcOtIC]> any of u know someone witha f ast internet
connection?
<[ric]> me, suppa fast... so fast I can't even see the packets
go by when I open the modem up
<nARcOtIC]> how fast is it?
<[ric]> so fast I can't even explain it
<nARcOtIC]> right
<[ric]> so fast that by the time I try and upload something it
was uploaded 10 minutes earlier
<[ric]> stunningly fast, it is..

<`Brianne> stop it...youre making me feel all warm inside...
<`Brianne> oops wrong channel

[Tom] That was unexpected
[Tom] I was playing with my pen
[Tom] And it just exploded
[ReDeeMeR] Quite the contrary; usually if you 'play' with your
'pen' enough, it will 'explode'

<FeralWolf> actually, many Canadians do mock the Columbia
disaster
<AriaStargazer> Pff
<AriaStargazer> they're just jealous because
<AriaStargazer> the closest thing they'll ever have to a space
program is the annual beaver tossing contest

<Tomboy> You know that you have watched too much porn when you
start to recognize the dicks of the male pornstars.. "Yeah
that's rocco's dick alright.."