bash.org archive

<Cl0ckwork> i hate it when explorer crashes, losing my system
tray, and irc is minized to it
<slick> I hate when I kick a dog and then the owner see's me
and I have to kill him

< passagero> i'm romanian man,i have 18yers old and try to
found some one who want to have a relation sheep with me
< passagero> is someone amateur?
< BSDgeek> passagero: the amater sheep are in your back yard,
go mount one

<pleb> MY OTHER COMPUTER IS YOUR IIS SERVER

<SDShadoW> A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.

<KT> a guy at work calls me "Mustang"
<KT> I'm wondering if he was peeking at me while I was taking
a leak in the Men's room
<KT> how could he know..
<Strike> KT: were you peeing on all fours?
<scanez> lol
<KT> lol

<Royall> Hey everyone, did you know it's illegal to destroy
coins or bills?
<Royall> Those are the govenment's, they are just lending it
to you.
<Monstro> Which means they can take it back at any moment!
<Royall> Yea
<Royall> It's called tax.

<mommydot> JESUS LOVES YOU
<chronarion> If Jesus loves me, why won't he return my calls?

<uberclops> they brought new printers to our work
<uberclops> it's awesome because they're not the size of the
titanic and don't require a degree in mechanical engineering
to change the toner

<OS|flu> aww poor canadian soldiers
<iZac> canadian soldiers? is it oxymoron night?
<enntee> you're here, so it's just moron night.

<vamp_work> some guy named Debian hacked my box and made it
unstable
<vamp_work> it tells me every time I log in

<Danzo> damn big txt file
<Danzo> B I G <peaches>
* peaches watches notepad crash
<peaches> should've zipped it up
<Danzo> heh..story of my life =]

( TheFlyingP) i've got a pronoucement : school is bad for your
health
( noip-work ) thats an ANnouncement, f00l :)
( Fuzzy     ) you need to pay more attention at school

<LamB> God touches me
<LamB> daily
<LamB> through Priests

* FlipTopBox eats Dicks
<FlipTopBox> capitalization is very important sometimes

<gwizz> there were just 2 police cars in front of my neighbors
house right
<gwizz> and i was watching from my room and i told my dad, so
he goes and opens the front door to look
<gwizz> but he didnt know the alarm was set, so it goes off
<gwizz> my mom turns it off, and then one of the policemen
come over and were like 'did we go to the wrong house?'

*** blahblahb ([email protected]) has
joined #gamedev
<blahblahb> !list
*** blahblahb ([email protected]) has
left #gamedev
<DAL9000> it was a driveby !list'ing

<Volt9000> Forget stabbing people in the face over the
Internet.... I'd become wealthy if I made a program where you
enter someone's IP address and you can remotely sterilize them

<BRASIL> IN MY COUNTRY TOO HOT TO GO OUTSIDE
<BRASIL> SO I SURF NET INSTEAD

<Verchiani> whats a good word to get shaved into the back of
your head??
<DeathJester> idiot

(+Silver) man never have porn and pics of people from irc in
the same folder
(+nixon) you accidently opened nhm's picture while doing the
dirty
(+nixon) didnt you
(+Silver) it was yours
(@CH) I'd just keep going
(+Silver) CH: i didnt say i stopped

<Krispy> you could double specialize
<Krispy> GYN/PROCTOLOGY
<Krispy> THEN YOU COULD DO THE SHOCKER
<Krispy> AND IT WOULD BE ALL LEGAL

<BoB_JonEz> well its true
<BoB_JonEz> i think to get a comp sci degree you have to pass
the tan test
<BoB_JonEz> if you have a tan, you fail

<Snowman>: if you had to describe me in 50 words or less, what
would you say?
(i)alex: 50 words or lesss...
(i)alex: hmmm
(i)alex: is cock loving one word or two?

<lou> remember, as long as our balls don't touch it's not GAY

<kitten> Dan, you're my honey bunch sugar plum,
pumpy-umpy-upmkin.
<kitten> You're my sweetie pie.
<Danelope> Oh yeah?  Well, you're my cuppycake gumdrop
snickums-snookums.
<Danelope> You're the apple of my eye.
<ry4n> fuck you guys.
*** ry4n has quit IRC (Quit: Trillian (http://
www.ceruleanstudios.com))
<Danelope> Hahaha.

<Pika-Screw> Did you ever want to kick Mario right in the
pills and yell "That's for keeping Luigi in the shadows all
these years, bitch!"?

<MadHatter> I'm getting pretty sick of black and white
<MadHatter> there's just too much to manage
<MadHatter> it's probably a really good game for people who
don't already have jobs
<blazemore> maybe i should play then

<conlusio> besides, I'll do something stupid soon myself I'm
sure
<Irlut> conlusio: true, true :)
<conlusio> oh fuck
<conlusio> I just did it
<conlusio> I cut up the brand new fucking credit cards instead
of the old ones
<conlusio> talk about instant fucking karma

<@Linguica> wooo
<@Linguica> amy jo johnson naked
<@arioch> whoa
<@arioch> arcing hydra bow
<@Linguica> and such is our difference

<Ear> Your mom is so fat that you should go stab yourself in
the eyesocket and drown in a ditch filled with your own blood.

AndrewLB: The term "What the fuck" might apply here.
AriaStargazer: Would it? :o
AndrewLB: My computer crashes, and now windows claims it's
January 1st 1980...
CrossAlkaid: Your computer is fondly remembering when you
weren't born yet.
AndrewLB: One sec, I'm going to go out and buy as much stock
as I can before time re-asserts it's self.

<ChocoMan> women don't uNF women. women mHH women.

<theForger> it's kind of odd how a lot of planets in star trek
have spaceships and transporters, and yet they still live in
huts and clay houses

<blazemore> RZR033DCC IS OFFERING VIRUSES INFECTED WITH WAREZ

][HumA][79- sepcial olympics are bad because its hard on the
person who finishes last place.. i mean.. how much lower than
that can you get

<+[zc]Kinslayer> I tried to have this customer read off his
modem's brand name and he said he can't read...stupid Memphis
customers.
<+[zc]Kinslayer> so I was wondering wtf he's going to do with
the Internet, but then I remembered you don't have to read
pr0n
<+[zc]Kinslayer> as long as you can type "neked chiqs" you're
all set

< pillBOX_w> "You can just grab both sides and twist - as you
might twist a squirrel - and then eat the halves over the sink
wildly while the juice runs down your arm." -- Tycho, on
eating nectarines
< pillBOX_w> How would one go about twisting a squirrel?
< jer> pillBOX_w, one hand on body, one hand on head, move in
opposite directions
< pillBOX_w> jer: I see you've lived in Arkansas before, or at
least watched a show about their cuisine?

* bago wants cex;
<BreeBaby> hehe...you havent had it in so long you forgot how
to spell it

<cosmok> what is programming anymore, copy paste copy paste
<cosmok> copy, reorganize, paste, rework, paste
<kez> you missed a bit off the end
<cosmok> ?
<kez> </html>

[spork`] bukakke is the most intimate act that 2-50 people can
perform

<sector_> it was a boring uneventful game IMHO and my fucking
HO is top-notch

(mattwindu) my 10 yo sister called 911 for no reason
(mattwindu) while she was home alon
(mattwindu) i left her for a fucking half hour while i went to
blockbuster
(mattwindu) you know why she called? not that she was alone...
(mattwindu) but because the toilet wouldn't stop flushing

<Nautilus> God I hate little brothers
<Nautilus> 11:59 P.M. on april fools, he sets off a bash
script that logs into my company's server, uses ipfw to block
out _all_ ssh connections, and changes the site to display
goatse.
<OneMan> haha that's a good get-back
<OneMan> did you change it back?
<Nautilus> <Nautilus> uses ipfw to block out _all_ ssh
connections
<OneMan> 1 Dr. Jack Kevorkian cure-all, comin' right up!

<djLiKu> 8=========D
<insanelee> wow.. . is that life size?
<djLiKu> yeah
<djLiKu> if u have a 200 inch monitor

<thedeathart>Say, If you have a username and a password for a
FTP server, how do you get the address?

<PuyoDead> #emu talks more .br talk than the entire country of
brazil

<Ash> Thank God we got it all out before DigDug could quote
us. :|

<Fishfood> HAHAH
<Fishfood> BT ARGUING WITH AOL
<Fishfood> ITS LIKE BLIND FIGHTING THE BLIND!
<Funk> WITH THE RETARDED COMMENTATING

<Shrapnull> It's not how the boat floats, or the size of the
mast, but the motion of the ocean
<Aduro> lol
<Tiffy> haha
<cryptonix> just hope your seamen don't have scurvey :D

<organicintelligencebody> they probably have practice at it
<organicintelligencebody> like those telemarketers that have
answers for anything you can possibly say
<justin> they do not
<justin> tell them you don't have a phone

<CountZer0> but where is the recycle bin in dos?

<Berrik> my goddamned school has fat cheerleaders
<Berrik> let me tell you something
<Berrik> there's only one half of a girl's chest I want to see
jiggle when she jumps
<Berrik> and it ain't the bottom half

<mstyne> i just wrapped up a 12 hour day at work
<mstyne> surprisingly, i feel okay
<mstyne> which is probably bad : )
<Etan> only if you tell your bosses, and get longer days
<mstyne> well, ordinarily i'd be wiped after 12 hours
<mstyne> but i'm not
<mstyne> i think they must put something in the water
<-- caffine has quit (Remote closed the connection)
<mstyne> aha, that answers it
<Etan> the guilt overpowered him

<@Hah|> A lot of you are way too attached to RO. If the
servers go down permanently, I wonder how all of you guys
would react.
<Dekar> I'm not that attached.
<Dekar> I mean sure, I love the game.. but if It went down, I
would move on.
<com4> hah: i'd kill everyone.. in this room .. if the game
went down.. and then i'd eat some yogurt
<com4> cuz you know yogurt tastes good. the fruit on the
bottom stuff.. rocks.. and then i'd kill people

<Botbasher> talk about a bad friday, I was scalded by a Coffee
Maker... Had my testes crushed by the same unit... I had to
unstuck a garbage disposal..
<JackMcCornack> hehe ..
<JackMcCornack> So Botbasher hobbles into an ice cream shop
and says to the gal behind the counter, <JackMcCornack> "I'm
having a bad day, give me a rocky road ice cream cone with
everything."
<JackMcCornack> "Crushed nuts?"
<JackMcCornack> "Yeah, I guess my walk gives it away. I got
scalded too."
* GonzoRacer takes a bow

2:49°am -(Nova`)- I'd like to cover your soft milky breasts
with chocolate syrup and make a trail that goes down to
between your legs. Then Ill slowly start licking up every
drop.
2:49°am -(Nova`)- err
2:49°am -(Nova`)- SHIT!
2:49°am -(Nova`)- wrong chan
2:49°am -(Nova`)- sry

<+RushMore> got shouted at today... too hairy
<@chikster> no beards at school?
<+RushMore> no beards
<@chikster> gayness to the extreme
<+RushMore> This is a catholic grammar school
<+RushMore> run by nuns
<+RushMore> arent allowed long hair either
<@chikster> a catholic school what the fuck? jesus had a beard
why cant you
<@chikster> he had long hair too
<@chikster> thats stupid as hell if jesus can you can i say

* OutLaniz ([email protected]) has
joined #Counter-Strike
* OutLaniz got pussy 2night!
<OutLaniz> wewt
<Mr`Fly> why dont you get some friends to so you dont have to
join irc channels and tell them.

<Lombers[A]> Simboo: it was fun, cept when my mate cracked his
head open and we had to take him to the hospital
<Simboo> omg what happend?
<Lombers[A]> he ran into a low hanging section of the roof
<Lombers[A]> split his head
<Simboo> fwoar
<Lombers[A]> was pissing blood
<Simboo> stiches?
<Lombers[A]> about an inch cut
<Lombers[A]> yeah, 4 stitches
<Simboo> *shivers* eew.
<pace> lol needed a wall hack

<Saffio> I went to microsoft sales training
<Saffio> they gave it to me there [windows XP]
<eldee> Saffio: so did i.. they gave me a laptop case/bookbag
thing and office XP pro :)
<eldee> Saffio: the laptop case is sweet... but it has
"microsoft licensing agent" embroidered on the back of it...
im worried if i wear it in public, i'll get assassinated
<kable> should have told them "no thanks, i downloaded the pro
version"

<Godless1> I didn't see it posted asshole
<StupidAsshole> did you ad hom me, or call me by my name?

*** Joins: Amnesia ([email protected])
<Amnesia> yo
<rawhed> yo amnesia
<rawhed> remember me? ;)

<CptPlanet> man. i just called my finger a faggot for having a
splinter in it.
<CptPlanet> i need to get some friends, stat.

<Alien> there's not 365 weeks in a year xjeff
<xjeff> enless it's a leap year

<Spooky> CUNT 
<Spooky> Variation on the game fuck (qv), where you have to
say "cunt" and get louder and louder.
<Spooky> Use "fatty" near to fat people for a softer version
<Spooky> as it's not really offensive except to the fat
person, and fat people can't really punch you because their
fingers are like cushions.

Psyche: My roommate and her boyfriend broke up recently.
Psyche: This morning a moving truck came to get the
boyfriend's stuff.
Psyche: On the side of the moving truck? It was an ad for a
disaster cleanup company.

<Digested> nothing like coming back to irc after a night of
partying
<Digested> and nothing like partying on a monday night and
then driving home at the same time as everyone is driving to
work
<Digested> and laughing at them
<Digested> :D
<MadHatter> Not everyone can live with their parents
<Digested> that's why i'm taking advantage of the situation
while i still can
<Digested> the main problem with sharing a house with parents
is bringing a girl home
<Digested> but it isn't really a problem for me... heh
<MadHatter> hehe

<Hendrix> Romance is flowers, Perversion is sticking the
flowers up her ass

<CecilPL> I have a life, I just don't do anything in it