bash.org archive

<Icaby> i think im like 5'1 260 <Paul_Bunyan> Cool, a human
sphere

ted: woman plus invisible man = the perfect porn
craig: Actually, woman + visible woman is the perfect porn,
but this is a close second.

<oof> so did you get together with your family for easter?
<_p> no, my family hates god.

<leo60228> vim is even better
<leo60228> but i honestly don't know how to open a new tab in
it
<Pixl> we have reached peak hipster

<C4> I overclocked my mousepad.
<tminos> thats nothing, I have my waterbed OC'ed, now I only
have to sleep for two hours a night

<Offline> i still cant bleave people dont know what a
fudgepacker is
<Log> I do, Zack
<Log> my friend's fiancee is a fudgepacker :o
<`Zerp> they work at candy factoryies right log
<Log> HE PACKS FUDGE AT THE COLORADO FUDGE THINGY
* Offline pounds his head on his desk

<Lilmuckers> i watched this great program about gays getting
murdered
<crt2k> ...
<Lilmuckers> well, 
<Lilmuckers> gay people being persecuted
<IUG> ...
<Lilmuckers> damnit
<Lilmuckers> i'm not making this sound good am i?

<@Chaz> How the hell it went through a folded-over (two
layers) sock is beyond me...
<Nyphur> ... o_0

* zebra does the menstrual blood dance
<Slvrchair> zebra: your dances scare me.
<zebra> You should see them in person.
<zebra> It could be worse.
<zebra> I could give you the menstrual blood lapdance :P
<Slvrchair> ew, no :P

(NinjaRyu) atlanta is wigger capital
(NinjaRyu) i saw a guy soup up his parent's '86 nissan with a
$2500 car stereo and a big ass tailpipe, but the damn thing
still couldn't go above 75

Annabel0Lee: I saw Jesus in my pop tart this morning.
LUunfortunate: did you eat it?
Annabel0Lee: Yes, is that wrong?
LUunfortunate: You coulda made money off of it
LUunfortunate: and then bought like a bunch of replacement
poptarts
Annabel0Lee: Well, I haven't had communion in a while...

<Bunge> The Clinton administration created a $300 billion
surplus, in a few years the Bush administration has turned
that into a $400 billion deficit, mostly spent on "the war on
terror"
<Bunge> and they claim that is good financial management?
<Bunge> they are a bunch of cnuts
<Kormiic> At least now I'm not terrified...
<Kormiic> Oh... wait...

<Wedgie> yay! the flickering stopped..
<Wedgie> I fetched a hammer and looked at the monitor really
threatening :)

<Panzurfaust> I love stupid ass people.
<Cade> You're so damn conceited.

<tigga> (_|_) (|_) (_|_) (_|) (_|_)
<tigga> thats u shakin ur (_|_)
<S4L3M> and this is you when i do it: 8=M==D 8===MD 8=M==D 8==
=MD

<Nelyx> DilleMMa: thomas edison went through 3000 experiments
before he perfected the light bulb
<DilleMMa> wow
<DilleMMa> another geek prevails
<Nelyx> show me someone successful who ISNT a geek
<DilleMMa> britney spears?
<DilleMMa> christina agerlia
<DilleMMa> mandy moore
<Nelyx> whore <> successful

<+Hotaru> Hmm, 1 in 32 Americans are either in jail or prison,
on probation, or on parole.
<@Riffraff> COOL!
<+Vulpes> I didn't know we had that many politicians.

<Fakester> hmm, I wonder if Wal-Mart would ask for ID on a
return...
<Fakester> that could be a problem
<Tortri> if they do, well... tell them you forgot it, take the
DC back home
<Tortri> then you'll be stuck with a new dc
<Fakester> Tortri: I'm currently unemployed, I don't have $100
to waste like that.
<Tsengie> sell it to some stupid kid for 119
<Tsengie> tell him it's a ps2

[logic1] hmm even though it does state "freakcock" in the url
i think this might be a cute picture of a little kitty.. let
me take a look

<Doc> ok... kitchens clean, bathrooms clean
<Doc> thats the two easiest to clean rooms of the house
done...
<cactoid> is that because you always eat out and you never
shower?

<Nephil> I was given detention because I said "evaginate"
during a debate
<Nephil> :/

<cromicus> they're all like "everytime you say the word 'sex',
jesus cries and floods a town in a third-world country"

<nzc> mmmmm
<nzc> Speak n Spall.
<nzc> (i never owned one, by the way.)
<drwiii> obviously not.

<ManInBlack> I swear to god, the next person to submit a "best
typo ever" quote is going to get garrotted with a cat5 cable.
We get it, you suck at typing.

<jk-> hheh, back when I was on aol, I would go into chat rooms
pretending i was a teenage girl with pictures, and when all
the guys would ask me for them I sent em gay porn
<DMC[arf]> i look at gay porn while drinking apple juice
sometimes
<datz510> i have some

<ggeyton_hewitt> <_git_> hey folks, what does @ mean in front
of someones nick?
<ggeyton_hewitt> <thorn``> The @ symbol identify's the channel
operators.. Chops have extra commands for control of the room
<ggeyton_hewitt> <_git_> does it mean that persons is a sad
wanker who spends his life on irc, has no real friends, and
prefers to chat on here than in a pub?
<ggeyton_hewitt> it's funny cos it's true
<Syncope> lol
<Syncope> very true
<Syncope> :/
<ggeyton_hewitt> `deop
<Syncope> `deop

<gofer-chan> What's the difference between Bill Gate's wife
and a computer?
<gofer-chan> A computer doesn't mind taking a 3 1/2 floppy.

<Lunaris> In Taiwan, A Sperm Whale Suddenly exploded in the
streets
<Lunaris> according to my newspaper
<Stiletto> I heard something about that
<Stiletto> I wish I had been there
<Lunaris> theres blood and guts everywhere...
<Stiletto> That would have fuckin ruled to see
<Lunaris> yuck...
<Thalamasa> ....
<Thalamasa> So wait
<Thalamasa> So there's this sperm whale
<Stiletto> "Dude that fuckin whale just exploded!"
<Thalamasa> In the streets
<Thalamasa> And it just exploded
<Thalamasa> Out of nowhere
<Stiletto> It was being hauled
<mia> LMFAO
<Stiletto> To a science lab
<Thalamasa> Okay
<Lunaris> it was being carried on a flatbed
<Thalamasa> So
<Thalamasa> yeah
<Stiletto> And internal pressure caused it to combust
<Stiletto> Sperm whale isn't meant to be anywhere except water
<Lunaris> and BOOM!!
<Stiletto> I can explain more if you like
<Lunaris> OMG...
<Flession> now they gotta clean up all the sperm
<Thalamasa> ...
<Lunaris> I am never going to that site again
<Thalamasa> Look
<Lunaris> ugh...
<Lunaris> ...
<Stiletto> Why?
<Thalamasa> Thank you for turning a whale exploding
<Thalamasa> into a bukkake fest
<Flession> I try

<Shadoe> baby collars
<Shadoe> hahaha
<Shadoe> "here baby baby" *yank*
<Shadoe> <---- should not have children.

<Kaloth> ah, if only there were a mystical place, where beer
flowed freely from an ice cold source
<Kaloth> and peanuts were free
<Kaloth> and men of all ages could gather and talk about tits
and sport
<Kaloth> ah, if only.
<Kaloth> wait a minute
* Kaloth bbl. pub.

<CoRDS> there is a fine line between fishing and standing on
the shore like an idiot.

<terminal> sir you must do it
<terminal> and film it
<Tark-Indy> yeah my flatmate is in there whipping the weasel
and I go kool-aid man on him
<Tark-Indy> OH YEAH

<@|Holo|> one of my cats got me banned from warezguild once,
sat on the keyboard and spammed
<@|Holo|> sat on the numpad
<@|Holo|> so it was all like
<@|Holo|> 0
<@|Holo|> 6454
<@|Holo|> +65
<@|Holo|> ++52213
<+solbaid`> should've just told all the nerds "sorry, i was
getting pussy"
<+solbaid`> they'd have worshipped you

<sundown1> phone companies are the real root of all evil
<eMphire> and it spreads through the phonelines :)

<jms> maybe I can do it in java
<jms> but that sounds as pleasant as cheesegrating my
testicles

<Boffbowsh> Well, i'll see if my parents would mind taking me
both ways
<Boffbowsh> ...
<Boffbowsh> That sounds so wrong

<SketchCow> I've been asked to shut down 7 servers, all of
them roughly 10 years old.
<SketchCow> I've been making them play taps before turning off
permanently.

<Z> Swear to god..
<Z> These guinea pigs are like
<Z> Not even 6 months old
<Z> AND THEY LOST THEIR VIRGINITY LIKE
10000000000000000000000000 TIMES
<Z> ><;
<Incorrect> lol
<Incorrect> hjahahahahah
<Z> Now they're pissing me off..
<Z> I can't get one simple pussy
<Z> And they're hitting them like a batting cage

<MAC_OS_X> why is everybody an asshole on here?

(@bart`) bwhahhahahahahah. i think they should send that
little girl from the pepsi commercials to cuba too

<|YoShi|> FBI just came to my house
<Shorty> when they held up their fbi badge didn't u say
somethng heroic
<|YoShi|> yeah i said, hold on let me get dressed

<phluid> I won't program in java anymore
<phluid> I'm not Marxist and don't believe in classes.

n e r d b 5: what in the hell
n e r d b 5: im not a registered staples user
n e r d b 5: what do i do?
e l i t e  m r p: register

* lasvegasgamer eats Girl Scouts
<lasvegasgamer> err...Girl Scout Cookies

<VanJeans> How do you know when it's time to wash dishes and
clean the house?
<VanJeans> Look inside your pants; if you have a penis, it's
not time.

<justin> we found a burger king with internet access
<slash> "free with any purchase"
<slash> they make it sound like it's a fucking paper bag or
something
<justin> haha
<slash> "two large fries." "would you like some internet with
those?"

* Derek_ thinks costa ricans are wierd
<matts> I think people who spell weird "wierd" are weird

<Rance> so... i'm driving to cedar rapids today
<Rance> and i'm feeling a little frisky...
<Rance> so i start cranking one off in the car
<Rance> and it's really kind of funny when you... achieve your
objective, and you wind up laying on the horn... and it's
blaring for like 1/4 mile
<Rance> so now the next time i hear someone going down the
road with their horn going for no reason... i'll know

<calif> dude i definatly spend too much time on irc, lol
<Marl3y> yeah, at around 10 last night I went downstairs to
get something to eat, and my mom was in the kitchen and goes
... "whoa, you still live here?"

* LordMadOne dreams of his soon to be girl
<eMEraLdwPn> you talked to her at all recently?
<LordMadOne> no :(
<eMEraLdwPn> call her
<LordMadOne> I got a poem for her too
<LordMadOne> I have no phone
<eMEraLdwPn> well that sucks..
<eMEraLdwPn> get arrested and make her your one phone call!
<eMEraLdwPn> now that's romance!

<DW-Steve> i'm a hacker
<mystican> no you're not
<mystican> you're a farmer
<mystican> theres a difference

<zip`> bah no use arguing with people who think .fi is fiji

<The`Artful`Dodger> My fucking physics teacher has a spongebob
squarepants poster in his class :|
<The`Artful`Dodger> It says "E = MC Squaredpants"

<lemmonza> OK, So I was watching some gangster film on BET
last night
<lemmonza> And they showed this commercial obviously for kids
<lemmonza> Just as i was wondering why they would show a
commercial for kids this late at night during such a violent
movie
<lemmonza> I realized two things
<lemmonza> One: It was a commercial for kool-aid
<lemmonza> Two: I was watchin BET

-^cell^- how fast is your processor?
«tylor» 56k

<liquid> i want to get head from a girl with a fat bottom lip
<jenn> punch her first.

<@Avie_work> a word of advice for you guys
<@Avie_work> unless you want to ruin a woman's orgasm, do NOT
shout this just as she is ascending the heavenly mountain: "GO
SPEED, GO!"

(timmo) her boobies are fake
(timmo) ;[
[nyisles] hmm
[nyisles] are they photoshopped
[nyisles] ?
[Guilty] No
[Guilty] They're implants

<ThaDragon> money == good life == pussy + beer.
<ThaDragon> Preferrably in that order. Pussy tastes horrible
after beer.
<tenfour> eew
* ThaDragon grossed out tenfour
<tenfour> I can't stand the taste of beer

<Fril> "Flight delayed because psychic passenger had vision of
a bomb" - turns out the inflight movie was "Gigli"

<felix:#916> there is a DEAD FUCKING RAT in our server room
<felix:#916> it's like, ROTTING
<felix:#916> STUCK UNDER A CABINET AND NOBODY CAN GET TO IT
<felix:#916> 8 or 9" long, overall
<asphyxia:#916> damn packet kiddies

<orevo> Hmm...How about Alamo State Bank?
<Alex> ...
<Alex> Why should I trust them with my money if they couldn't
even hold the fort?!

<Valaris> Q: How do I get child pornography?
<Valaris> A: Start a free image hosting site.

<Quigalo> Fried eggs on a burger is like coming on a 12 year
old girl's ass. It might sound tempting, but you just have to
think about what you're doing for a second, and stop.

<Timelord> I am heading down to Cingular to go punch a CSR in
the face.
<Timelord> Later all.
<Tuan> haha
<TacoWork> chip a tooth for me.
<mattsteg_> if you don't get your monthly quota of punches in,
they roll over to next month

<Mosswing> anyone here got berserk series ?¿
<Mosswing> in DivX format
<^cell^> i got a boner
<^cell^> does that count?
<Mosswing> what is boner ?¿
<Mosswing> is it good?
<^cell^> yeah man
<^cell^> everyone has a boner
<^cell^> why dont you?
<Mosswing> how many episodes?
<Mosswing> i would like it too if it is great :)

<@netnomad> Why do we as human beings listen to depressing
music when we're already depressed.
<Spock> Misery loves company?
<@netnomad> No, that's the explanation for why I'm on IRC.

<Twingy> but I don't see the reason for sending so many troops
over when they can do it autonomously
<DooD> because
<DooD> the troops are bored
<DooD> we gotta let them out to rape a third world country
every once in a while
<Twingy> seriously, I'm beginning to think so
<skymoosUK> sick DooD
<DooD> i meant rape in a figurative
drop-bombs-on-your-ass-and-piss-on-your-corpse sense.
<skymoosUK> oh, thats okay then, i thought you meant sexual
and stuff

<Ouroboros> I think the downfall of the Roman Empire was
caused by something similar to IRC.
<Ouroboros> The Roman equivilent of a lawless, perverted group
of weirdos, if you will.