bash.org archive

hottieanda69er69: i was like haveing a hudge organism in the
shower

<Gohanmastaflex> www.imac.com - "LOOLLOLOL I GOT A PC BTU I
CNT FIGUR IT OWT IT WEN ALL LIKE "BEEEEEEP' AND NO WI GOT A
MAC AND ITS LIKE 'BEEP' BUT IN TEH GOOD WAY SO YAH ITS PRETY."
<Gohanmastaflex> Macintosh computer are easy to use. It's also
easy to stick your hand in a wood chipper.

(OvrLrd-Q) my longest pw was a case sensitive @ 26
(killjoy) i never use long ones.
(OvrLrd-Q) easily breakable by a slightly modified dictionary
though :)
(OvrLrd-Q) was
(OvrLrd-Q) weapon from game + weapon from game + beverage
ingredient
(OvrLrd-Q) crap
(OvrLrd-Q) that reminds me
(OvrLrd-Q) that 'beverage ingredient' is my root pw for my
*nix box
(killjoy) caffiene !?!?!?
killjoy starts scanning ovrlrd's ip range
(killjoy) ITS THERE SOMEWHARE
(OvrLrd-Q) WTF

< tom> My sister is back... and instead of spending quality
time with her family... she's playing Lunar 2!
< ninjamike> and you're on IRC

::Sathane.. I am wlasys sober
::Sathane.. excpet when I dirnk

<Ken|JLime> Jtag_me If you want a challenge, learn the emacs
short commands
<Ken|JLime> I'll stick to medical school myself
<Jtag_me> haha
<Ken|JLime> Its like CTRL-XYWZQFGUJ-F1 (while pressing F2)..
and it walks your dog

<M3rlin-> what is the legal age to buy alcoholic in england ?
<p5Ds13a06> you cant buy alcoholics
<p5Ds13a06> but if you wink the right way, some of them will
follow you home for free

<Moogboy> That Quotes page is retarted
<Moogboy> Do you know how much of them are most likely
completely fake?
<WeslyC> I hear ya man
<WeslyC> This is one of 'em.
<Moogboy> O_o

lost475: ANY HOT CHICKS WANNA GO OUT
Qualjyn: lost475, you will die alone.
Qualjyn: Do not pass go. Do not collect ASL

<livewire> I would like to put those fuckers who are
protesting bonsaikitten.com in glass bottles

<boog> paedophilia is okay, as long as the kid is dead

<Kilroy> gods, I'm dating myself again
<MPG> at least you only have to get one person drunk to have
sex.

<+Genome> the next version of mirc should support 3D
visualisation plugins like winamp
<%Yukanojo> wtf would you visualize with mIRC?
<+Kumaneko> text rate?
<+Genome> FAGS PER SECOND

<Creedy> fucking jesus
<Creedy> i have to kill that bitch
<logicalentity> jesus?
<logicalentity> the romans beat ya

<Shuurai> i think it'd be hilarious if you went to coinstar
and dumped in $1.02 worth of coins
<Shuurai> and then they deduct like 10 cents
<Shuurai> so you're left with coins anyway

<*> Narutard is distracted by pron
<[AN]Kaji> ya.. that'll work every time..
<Narutard> and it's cheaper than taking your GF out
<[AN]Kaji> and less time consuming..
<Narutard> porn doesn't nag at you
<[AN]Kaji> and when you get bored you can just turn it off..
:P
<Narutard> hehe
<Narutard> Porn won't complain if you don't quite finish
<[AN]Kaji> porn doesnt mind you shgaring it with your friends
<Narutard> porn doesn't blame it on you if you don't make it
orgasm.
<[AN]Kaji> porn wont complain when you bring home the newest
version..
<Narutard> porn doesn't mind if you stay out late with the
boys
<[AN]Kaji> porn is always in the mood.. :P
<Narutard> porn is ok with you pulling late hours at the
office
<Narutard> and it will never say, "My needs aren't being met."

<aphr0> Type "incest rape" into the Google search engine, for
example, and the first result is for the Rape, Abuse and
Incest National Network (RAINN), a Washington nonprofit that
aids sexual assault victims. The second result is for
brutalextreme.com, which advertises its content as stories,
pictures and videos of the "most violent rapes in the history
of mankind."
<aphr0> is it wrong to laugh?
<Hawkeye^> no
<aphr0> k
<aphr0> then I'm clear

<jej> i need to "find" a copy of q3a for os 9/X too.
<jej> and wolfenstein.
<Toast> I need to "find" a copy of "your mom" for "my wang"
<jej> ":("
<cj_> "hehe"

<DjSeph> I actually haven't had the Cup holder call, but I did
have one where the customer dropped the computer out a 3 story
window and blamed the fact that it shattered on Windows not
being "stabile & tough enough".........they then told me that
Linux could withstand the fall.........

<me tarzan> someone please tell me the name of disk 2 in the
curse
<Huz> Tarzan: "Disk 2". You should be able to find it in the
CD case you got when you bought the game. It's quite distinct,
being the only other CD in there other than "Disk 1", which is
also clearly labelled.

<matts_> arto hates me, it's about time
<artoh8su> no, i dont
<matts_> oh
<artoh8su> i just couldnt fit artoh8suunlessyournameismatts in
my name

<maff> 84 of 127 emails...
<|Chris> god damn
<|Chris> aren't you popular
<maff> spamular

<Kethry> lost: one grip. Fits my reality.

<disturbed>> I have a fear... of EGGS. I know it's silly and
my girlfriend makes fun of me saying I have EGGNAPHOBIA. But I
have had this problem my whole life... EGGS actually scare me.
<disturbed> When people talk about omlettes for example, I
feel sick in my stomach... I physically cannot touch EGGS as I
get shivery and feel ill and if I see someone eating an EGG
sandwich I get a nervous twitch (always in my right eye) and I
literally have to leave the room. Even the smell of EGGS makes
me feel faint.
<disturbed> I think it's because EGGS are from chicken's butts
and that always deeply disturbed me as a kid... I think it
developed from there.
<skelm> you have some really serious issues...

<lunargirl> Without Uncle Freddy we have to rely on our dildo
supply.
<lunargirl> Which dwindles everyday.
<lunargirl> But it's ok, we have a special robot made for us.
<lunargirl> Out of dildos.
<lunargirl> THE PERPETUAL DILDO MACHINE.
<lunargirl> Hello?

<XorTiN> I am sad, I ain't got nuffin to do and all I can do
is think about my g/f
<XorTiN> and she out partyin' w/ some friends or somethin
<XorTiN> and she's grounded so I can't call her
<LlnK> she's grounded.. yet she's out partying with guys?>
<LlnK> wtf
<LlnK> you're st00pid
* LlnK backhands some sense into XorTiN
<Illustrious> weird how she's out partyin and grounded
<Illustrious> and can't call you
<Illustrious> blah LlnK you bastard quit reading my mind
<LlnK> heh
<LlnK> Illustrious: i stopped when i saw all the kiddy and
beastiality pr0n

<latyrx> a christian friend called me tonight, but im ok now

<Tetsuo> I've given up doubting the search phrases you say
people find your site by. You can't possibly make stuff that
stupid up.
<CommanderStab> Oh yeh?! Check this joke out for size!
<Tetsuo> Oh Lord, what have I done now? ^_-
<CommanderStab> "What's the difference between a tax cheat and
a corpse?"
<CommanderStab> "One's a Fed Ducker, and the other's a..."
<CommanderStab> ...Shit, I forgot how it ends.....
<Tetsuo> I take it all back.

<SpaceCow> moses
<SpaceCow> did he have his own group of folowers as jesus and
mohammed did?
<AL9000> No
<AL9000> He just led the jews out of Egypt
<AL9000> for 40 years
<+Exor[B-A]> heh
<AL9000> Worst. Guide. Ever.
<SpaceCow> hahaha
<+DopefishJustin> hehe
<+DopefishJustin> well God was deliberately making them go in
circles
<+DopefishJustin> because they pissed him off with the golden
calf
<SpaceCow> "Ok, lets go across the desert" *Two years later*
"Wait, lets go back, I dropped a nickel"

<Speedlock> i like to think of sara as my sister
<Graeme> i like to think of sara riding my cock like a sex
starved nymphette
<Speedlock> actually, i like to think of sara as a kissing
cousin
<Speedlock> or perhaps a sexy auntie
<martin> you'll end up thinking of her as someone you cant go
within 200 yards of at this rate :p

<Rapala> i'm not sure if i'm supposed to go to work tonight
<Rapala> so i'm gonna sit here and see if they call
<DrunkOM> sounds like a plan
<Rapala> there are 2 others doing it as well, and the best way
to be wrong is to be wrong in a group
<HFM> the best way to be wrong is to find out it's really not
your kid..

<DTOX> I'm 16% bodyfat
<DTOX> I have a one pack
<jube_> a keg?

<Sage> but curiosity
<ChaosValentine> killed the cat
<Unicorn> technically the cat killed himself, curiosity just
convinced it to
<gk> no way man
<gk> curiosity busted out a switch blade and slit that stupid
pussy's throat

*** Joins: SLiPMaTT`
([email protected])

<KuAm-KuAm-KuAm-KuAm-KuAm> have you ever thought what it would
be like masturbating while in a teletubby outfit?
<Fr00ggyzor> Which teletubby?

<NekkidBibleMan> Now on fox: When Naked Men Read The Bible (2)

DittzieBlondee06: is she a better kisser then me
DittzieBlondee06: haha
onkeybutt87: haha, I wish I knew
DittzieBlondee06: hahaha
DittzieBlondee06: i bet ya do
DittzieBlondee06: lol
onkeybutt87: I'll just have to use my imagination
DittzieBlondee06: yep
DittzieBlondee06: ya will
onkeybutt87: or chloroform

<BlackDeth> ITS SLOW AS A 30 FOOT SHIT COMING OUT OF AN ANT''S
ASSHOLE

<jesusghet> ok IE sucks
<jesusghet> it doesnt support google calendar
<shaan> it does support spyware though

<DEMI1999> ed's hit an all time high of un-understandability
<DEMI1999> <eDz0ph_gb> d0f eye ,ent n0am

* SykoFreud ([email protected]) has joined #rap
<SykoFreud> so uhm ... I am a producer from norway, and i am
looking for good rappers.
<Kris81> word
<Kris81> shizzle mah nizzle let me drop this line for you foo
<pauze> hahaha
<Kris81> i make dem raps so good your pants be filled with goo
<pauze> bla bla bla bla
<pauze> ha ha ha ha
<pauze> im the best rapper out there
<pauze> LOL
<SykoFreud> I see.
* SykoFreud ([email protected]) has left #rap

<Nuke|Hmm> i want nothing
<Nuke|Hmm> except your love
<Nuke|Hmm> and maybe a hot pocket

<RockShox> girls love attention and irc is some place where
everyone pays attention to them

<ttos> microsoft has this automatic phishing filter built into
internet explorer 7. i think they should expand on this idea
and have a rick roll detector

<therion23> there was this documentary on sadomasochism on TV
here once
<|H20|> whats that?
<therion23> this girl took the cardboard from a toilet roll
and put sandpaper on the inside and tied up a guy and jacked
him off with it.
<faust_> Denmark has all the cool tv shows.

<Myst> It would, however, be funnier.
<Myst> Since Canadians are funnier by nature.
<WTM2K> just because we laugh at you doesn't mean you're funny

<scanline> What's the past tense of netsplit? netsplat?

<IanT> is it just me
<IanT> or is it a little creepy that my mp3 player put "call
me when you're sober" right next to "date rape"

(blitzer) if I had a daughter in the porn industry, and I
masturbated to a scene which she starred in, would it be
incest?
(mortiis) no
(mortiis) idiot

<Yuri> heh damn man
<Yuri> 93.1mb
<Yuri> this is the mightiest log i've ever posessed
<xerDM> heheh
<Yuri> this is a sociology report waiting to happen
<Yuri> heh
<xerDM> hehe
<Yuri> and excellent fodder for legal lawsuits from assorted
companies wanting to protect their intellectual property...
* Yuri find/replace warez|iso|bin|nrg|ccd/fluffy bunnies
<Dorn> aha
<xerDM> haha
<Yuri> "wow these guys LOVE bunnies!"
<Yuri> "yeah they share em too!"
<Dorn> course
<Yuri> "over the INTERNET! to FTPS!"
<Yuri> "aww bunny videos!"
<Yuri> hot rodent on rodent action
<Dorn> you'd get stuff like "Man sitting on that desert island
sure made me feel fluffy bunnieslated"
<Dorn> :E

<Sinner_> i know someone who fucked a turkey once
<gjvc> i wake up early
<gjvc> check my email
<Murex> i dont see how i could actually fit my average cock
into a chicken
<Sinner_> he was mad at his family
<gjvc> and see this shit
<Sinner_> and he fucked the thanksgiving turkey
<lazydog> bhahah
<gjvc> ahahahaha
<Murex> hahhahaa
<gjvc> lord

<DKuntz> is it bad for me to have a pet peeve about people
usin "r" instead of "are" and "u" instead of "you" (and so on)
<Lath> Er, no
<DKuntz> I really hate when people do "how r u 2day?"
<IJ> I've heard of data compression, but this is ridiculous.

<Judith> if you were trying to market condoms, what would you
try to use for a slogan?
<Redeemer> "Wear the fuck out of us."

<MALF> ebay is where cocaine addicts sell things for profit
<tak> thats what pawn shops are for
<tak> ebay takes too long
<tak> need crack NOW
<spun> but you actually need shit to sell at pawn shops
<spun> ebay you can sell a picture of a laptop

<sdodson> I'm trying to figure out if my neighbors have really
bad rhythm or if they're hanging photos on the wall

Dainichi> Sometimes, I really do think it'd be nifty-keen to
have another me around.
Phantbert> no way
Phantbert> I'd hate to have another me
Phantbert> the last thing I need is another pretentious
asshole to deal with.

<Lonesy> I was at the Badkarma fields when thunder strikes
less than 50 feet from me
<Lonesy> God's way of saying "I see what you did there"

<imsoemo> i should sell information on how to join irc on ebay
<imsoemo> FOR ONLY $3 I WILL SHOW YOU HOW TO TALK TO MORE
ARROGANT ASSHOLES THAN YOU EVER DREAMED
<CaliburX> Just make it sound complicated and expensive
<CaliburX> Have you ever wanted to talk with other
sophisticated beings like yourself for free on your own
personal computer? With this 42 step guide your dreams will
become a reality and your life will be forever enjoyable.
<CaliburX> Only $99.99 plus shipping and handling

<Amanda> And do these people in the STD medication commercials
really have the advertised diseases, and if not, how much
extra do they get paid to say that they do?

* meek has joined #8-bit.theater
<meek> 3600 penises
* meek has left #8-bit.theater
<CanNinja> That was random.
<BrvFencer> That was meek.

<cam[gt]> is it bad if you're driving down the road and see an
address on a mailbox that's 1394, and the first thing you
think of is firewire?

<a> i wish i had some vr goggles or something
<Loc-Dog> a: for porn?
<a> so nobody could tell i was playing games
<a> games being interactive porn
<Loc-Dog> a: they'd be able to tell when you pulled out the
"joystick" to manuever your "character" in the "first person
shooter"
<a> Loc-Dog: i use the keyboard.

<PA_stoned> for once i wasn't thinking about sex   
<PA_stoned> lookit that, i guess being stoned does not
necessarily make me horny!   
<DS_lonely> *gasp* and i bet your not stoned.  
<PA_stoned> yes i am!   
<DS_lonely> WHAT!  
<PA_stoned> why else would i be eating pussy with my finger? 
<PA_stoned> oops!   
<DS_lonely> noice!  
<PA_stoned> i meant puddding

<KingHenry> castrated men live longer
<Phuser> but do castrated men really live

<TheMadHatter> I eat heads.
<Devilution> Felatio doesn't exactly qualify as head eating...
<Devilution> but keep trying.
<TheMadHatter> No, you completely misunderstood, I eat heads!
<Devilution> No you completely misunderstood, suck my dick!

<PrincessLeia2> he's not my step dad, he's my mother's new
husband
<PrincessLeia2> that way i can say that my stepbrother that i
dated isnt really my stepbrother

<Knives-> MY MODEM KEEPS DESYNCING.
* Knives- kicks the modem
<Knives-> I'll call the ISP
<Knives-> They'll tell me "It must be something you've
installed"
<Knives-> And I'll go "INSTALLING SOMETHING THAT DESYNCS A
MODEM IS LIKE INSTALLING SOMETHING THAT BLOWS UP A PS/2 MOUSE!
"
<Knives-> And then they'll blame the phone company.
<Knives-> And I'll say FUCK IT.
<Knives-> And wait until it fixes itself.
<Knives-> There - saved my self the bother and money of
calling those pricks.

<Relioc> hmm wheres russia now
<@maximus`> still next to china

<@redium> i have never had a condom break on me ever
<@redium> maybe the gas-station generic glow in the dark ones
break.. but real ones dont
<+elf> ...glow in the dark ones...?
<+elf> how can you misplace your penis so badly that you need
for it to glow?
<@redium> its the entertainment factor, not the visibility
factor
<+elf> i see...