bash.org archive

<CrazySpence> i read a brit/canadian magazine an its full of
all these hints an tips for kinky ways of sex...look at an
american mag an its {why cant my man get it up} {does my fat
ass turn my man off} {my man last 30seconds or less}

<Chrizto> show me a chick worth worrying about after you're
not the one fucking them anymore and I'll show you the value
of the imaginary number i

<mutilate> talking to my best freind from primary skool... so
much to catch up on
* mutilate is now away: shower

Mmytacism: http://popcap.com/gamepopup.php?theGame=
insaniquarium
Mmytacism: this game is so unrealistic
Mmytacism: your common goldfish doesn't cost $100
Mmytacism: then again, I suppose it doesn't defecate coins,
either

<ronnie> i remember the first time i made love it was dark,
cold and i was all by myself
<ronnie> bah wrong window damnit
<ronnie> ignore that

<`Apoc`> i blew a load inside my girl
<Shiv[0utz0r]> LOL
<Shiv[0utz0r]> welcome to the club
<`Apoc`> whats the chances of her becoming pregnant
<Apocalypse_DFA[spam-eater]> if she wants to be pregnant, 50%.
If she doesnt want to be pregant...100%

<VicViper> if i get high speed access i can warez
<VicViper> They need to have ISP's that offer CDR's with
signup.

<goh2> my parents are budgeting me
<goh2> 400$ a month for a computer
<goh2> for the next 3 months
<goh2> i spent 100$ on weed

<BoneCollector> well americanisation is quite big in SA
<BoneCollector> all the youngsters hear want to be like the
Americans, especially with the black kids
<mog> that's funny
<mog> all the white kids here want to be africans
<mog> who would have thought

<MED1C> i bet they got their degree from the same vending
machine

* IZS logs in and delets all potential child porn
<IZS> rm -rf /

<Sorted^> half-life?
<Sorted^> is that like simcity?
<Halo--> I think so, but you shoot people.

<god4ever> I had sex before, just never with a person

<gee-1> we should market heart monitor devices that're like
implanted. so if you die, it'll remotely run a program, to
like make your computer log in, get on irc, and msg your
friends that you're dead.

<Gothmog> "I'm not gay but my gf is" <-- I'd pay good money
for a shirt with that on it
<Wynn> lol...
<Wynn> Hrmm... five dollah for iron transfer..
<Gothmog> haha
<Gothmog> $15 for a white shirt
<Gothmog> getting beaten up by a butch lesbian in the union
centre: priceless

<rtwh0> why are you upset?
<sugadon> who the hell says i was god damn upset? huh?
<rtwh0> umm never mind
<sugadon> i hate people who spread god damn rumors, muther
fucker , god damn

<SA-Magic> msg nickserv identify smallpenis
<SA-Magic> oops

<@RT[Ragnarok]> meet me in the middle of the 2nd level of the
skeleton cave
<skold> I WANNA CAST MAGIC MISSILE

<Kai-jin> violence is always an answer
<Aan|trigu> ah..no
<Aan|trigu> :P
<Kai-jin> yes it is..it may not the *the* answer...but it is
always *an* answer
<Aan|trigu> well so is bestiality

<allistar> deleting stuff out of my registry made it bigger!
<Griz> ah, the magic of windows

<Blaz_> zwhats the old bitches name on spin city
<Blaz_> heather locklear
<Blaz_> shes gota be 40 something
<WS666> Heather is something like 40 but I'd drag my balls
across a mile of broken glass to do her

<Donut[AFK]> .. this is my new pickup line.
<@Meikai> Twitch.
<Donut[AFK]> "Hey, did I mention I have a single cock, and
that it is of average size and shape?"
<Donut[AFK]> "Also, I have no STDs!"
<@Meikai> "Because I never get laid!"

<Inoshiro> If I had a reason to be gay, besides Torvalds, it'd
be me

<NewFoundGonads> "if gamecubes could give head.. girls would 
be in a shit load of trouble"

<Vuriand> Curz: Does OFP have good music?
<Curz> No. It sucks
<Curz> And it sucks very hard
<Curz> Now I'm off to suck
<Curz> Argh
<Curz> *sleep

<ExaltedRage05> I replied to a video comment on youtube, and I
got this message back:
<ExaltedRage05> "this is takeley bruv wat is u sayin bout me
wat da fuck is facepalm bruv yeah but no but i aint done
nuthin"

<Valen> I'm doing a quick essay on differences between
genders.  Anyone got any point they think I should make?
<Ten> one has a penis, one has a vagina

<Sea_Bass> Hahaha, by the way, guys, how awesome is this:
<Sea_Bass> I went to the snackbar with a couple of mates today
<Sea_Bass> and while sitting there, this truck drove by
<Sea_Bass> And I was like "Wow, that's a loooong truck"
<Sea_Bass> so it had passed, and I looked over my shoulder,
and in doing so, I caught the license plate
<Thomp> was it long cat being moved?
<Sea_Bass> which was 90-TL-DR

(Klarth) The faggotry express is RIGHT ON TIME
*** UltraMoogleMan
([email protected]) has
joined #Trivia
(L0ne_W0lf) ...
(L0ne_W0lf) You were RIGHT
(tal) right on time indeed

<Digested> uh
<Digested> why were we +i?
<DooD> because shapht was naked
<DooD> and he didnt want someone to accidentally walk in on
him

<Bretty> A 16yr old boy asks his dad what a pussy looks like
before sex...he says " well son it looks like a nice rose
petal" Boy replies.."well what does it lookl ike afterwards?"
<Bretty> Father says....."have you ever seen a bulldog eating
mayonaise?"

<Artanis> ok, nobody ever told me when its better to use
static memory
<Artanis> thats why i do everything w/ pointers
<Artanis> :-/
<Goomba> everything???
<Veldhar[GD]> everything??!
<Veldhar[GD]> heh, don't tell me
<Veldhar[GD]> you do horrible things like
<Veldhar[GD]> int *i = new int[1];
<Veldhar[GD]> for (*i=0; ahhhhhhhhhhhhh can't continue writing
<Veldhar[GD]> too awful
<Veldhar[GD]> my fingers are burning
<Veldhar[GD]> my eyes are bleeding
<Veldhar[GD]> agoonnnnnnnny
* Veldhar[GD] dies

«@ MisoStupid» <mp3> !MisoStupid 05 - Justin Timberlake -
Justified - Cry Me A River.mp3 <8.86mb> <4m 50s> <256kbps>
«@ MisoStupid» WHAT THE FUCKING HELL
«@ MisoStupid» MY SISTER NEEDS TO NOT USE THIS COMPUTER

<ilde> Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

<[0megaX]> oh what the hell, her computer is doing the exact
same damn thing
<[0megaX]> it's like there's a time bomb in os x..everything
works perfectly until this exact moment when it stops for both
of us..that's fooken strange
<AeroBob> It's a sign from God.
<AeroBob> Mac users edited it out of the Bible, but the
eleventh commandment was "Thou shalt get a proper computer,
for fuck's sake."

<Akasha> have you tried kicking the pc?
<Wither> of course. first thing i did..

<[--S--]> we drove past your house last night owen
<an|man|ac> i thought they only took the garbage on fridays

<Aeris> lol once I hit a guy in the eye with a quarter
<Aeris> he threw like 5 quarters at me in revenge, it hurt
<Deltan> At least you got the last laugh
<Deltan> Assuming he threw back your own quarter
<Deltan> you gained a dollar
<Deltan> sowned

[bytraper ] dammit where can I grab porn movies :(
[OpsuPup  ] umm, try the internet
[OpsuPup  ] i hear there's lots of porn on there
[Nemesite ] really?
[OpsuPup  ] apparently
[Nemesite ] shit i would never have thought of that

<MikeSweetser> FWIW, 1/1/2003 is essentially the 20th
anniversary of the Internet.
<MikeSweetser> Basically, the day that ARPANET switched its
protocol to TCP/IP.
<kuribo> MikeSweetser: in unrelated news, 1/2/2003 is the 20th
anniversary of warez :)

<D`Kay> Hmm.. what would it be called where you take someone's
phone number and get the address from it?
<Rail> Stalking.

<|_Hyper_|> bush on tv :S
<|_Hyper_|> oh wait
<|_Hyper_|> it'a documentary
<|_Hyper_|> something about monkeys :D

<ILikeBush> its sad though, to see so many blind eyes.  Jesus'
light is greater than anything you'll ever find here on Earth.
<Proz> Well I met Jesus, he made me a taco.

* Avatar-X gives kris a colourful gift box with question marks
and tux's printed all over. "Open it!"
* Kris looks around nervously and slowly opens it
<Avatar-X> it's empty!
<Avatar-X> the box represents what an open-source linux
programmer makes in a year :)

cptchris F O O: i was measureing my dick and it said 10 in, i
was happy till i realized the ruler was backwards

(wundr) gizm... why do you never use the same nick for more
than 25 minutes?
(scolnick) i got tired of 'gizm'
(scolnick) at first i thought it was dope, just due to the
fact that tht i liked the letters
(scolnick) g-i-z-m
(scolnick) but then it got old to me
(scolnick) so for now you can just call me lewis

<IngyThing> ill probably pop in sometimes about 2300
<ILoveJackDaniels> we'll still be here, and ken still won't be
able to type :)
<IngyThing> hehe
<kensplace>  hic i reswomble that remark
<ILoveJackDaniels> flro
<kensplace>  resembel
<kensplace>  resembel;
<kensplace>  hic
<ILoveJackDaniels> resent?
<kensplace>  resembl;e
<kensplace>  hic
<kensplace>  look like

<Rabbitoh> hehe 2 years ago I went to Fox Studios in Sydney
where they held the annual 'sexpo' and there was a chick
demonstrating a way in which to make a caste of ones genitals
using a fast drying seaweed based liquid to the groin. she was
on stage standing like a bow legged cowboy, slapping the stuff
on her axe mark beneath her skirt. mmm classy. she then said
it'd be great for guys to carry the replica pussy in their
pockets to play with.. yeahh.. ok lol
<punkrockgirl> you know what else is classy? using the phrase
"axe mark"

<Z> Long ago there were 2 kinds of cave men. The ones who
hunted and slept with the women, producing strong children.
The others hid alone in their part of the forest and made love
to crude holes they carved in trees.. The hunters evolved into
normal functioning adults of modern civilization. The others
became linux users.

<Fat-Burrick> What i want to know is why gandalf didnt rescue
merry and pippin from the ents
<Tumbleweed> would you?
<Fat-Burrick> good point

<felix:#916> slap: FUCKING BROKEN ASS STONEAGE BUGGY WORTHLESS
3COMs.
<barkode:#916> felix: you left out "stackable"

<Choko> i know 101 ways to use a penis
<HamsterMan> cool
<HamsterMan> does it include writing with it and playing
baseball
<Choko> okay... now i know 103 ways
<HamsterMan> XD

<BlackOperations> hey i thought your internet was being taken
away
<TRM> thats what i thought as well
<TRM> parents probably forgot about my bad marks or whatever
reason it was that they were gonna remove cable..
<BlackOperations> whatever reason? YOU KNOW WHY :P
<TRM> hehe
<TRM> my history folder :P
<Ghand|ThiefGold> TRM's history folder:
<Ghand|ThiefGold> "Barnyard XXX"
<Ghand|ThiefGold> "Cartoon XXX"
<Ghand|ThiefGold> "John Romero's Daikatana"
<Ghand|ThiefGold> It was the Daikatana that really got them
angry.

[ Genia4 ] one sec i'm looking for the url of the iq test
[ Genia4 ] i want u to do it
**Approximately 8 Minutes Later**
[ Genia4 ] http://www.iqtest.com/
[ @AirRaid ] it took you that long to remember that url?
[ @AirRaid ] FOR AN IQ TEST?

** Moses is now known as Cain....
<Cain> oh no I killed my bro ....
<KeeperS> ....
<KeeperS> what a stirring rendition of the bible ....
* KeeperS is moved to tears

<Fuzzi> I've never seen more stars in Ozzfest before.
<GoRe> Stars? I've seen bigger stars when I accidently sat on
my nuts.

* Ainslee is back -( cemetery )- gone 1 hr 3 min 29 s
<Kajun> Pickup or delivery?

<Rephren> lol yesterday at work a customer asked for mango
juice but i seriouisly thought she said mancake and so i
repeatedit to her, sorry was that.. mancake? she looked at me
strangely and then said MANGO and i walked away feeling like a
dumbass

<erik> i guess that means oral sex is out of the question then
<grifferz> I dunno, with the stuff I've been coughing up
today, your spooge might actually be more pleasant

<tamasutra> someone earlier today thought i was 16
<_Mage_> Is that insulting or a compliment?
<tamasutra> nah, i take it as a compliment
<tamasutra> i don't mind looking young at all
<tamasutra> especially given the business i'm in
<_Mage_> er...

<Pander> Isn't that like a greek tragedy? A man who spends all
his time downloading porn but never gets to look at it?

<Tamahome> Ryan: "here" being?
<mdew> .nz of course
<Tamahome> oh, Europe doesn't count :P
<mdew> europe?
<Tamahome> Europe is traditionally a *very slow* gaming market
<mdew> since when was .nz europe?

<Mutiny-> "large explosion in downtown jerusalem, two cats
scared, houseplant shaken and dropped onto floor, israelis
occupy palestinian owned areas, 12 palestinians dead in
retalitory missle attacks"

<old goat> leet sucks
*1agerda1ek clears throat*
<old goat> sorry
<old goat> 1337 5vx
<1agerda1ek> much better

<Carter> How did you guys used to think babies were made?
<Carter> I thought it was about urine!
<Carter> I thought you had to mix urine, so I peed in this
bucket and I tried to get my brother to do the same so that I
could have a baby in the bucket

<|TrunX|> don't make me bust out my pic
<|TrunX|> you will all turn gay

<Boogaleeboo> You can't rape inanimate objects
<Boogaleeboo> like I can't go "I'm fucking rapping this water
bottle!"
<Boogaleeboo> Or "Mmmmm, you fucking bitch you don't want my
cock, do you sports radio?"
<Boogaleeboo> Doesn't work

<Apocalypse23x> dids you noitiuce hitting yourself ehwne drunk
dont hurt

* r0bt3k looks at his 100 megs of mp3s
<r0bt3k> hehehe
* r0bt3k then looks at his 5 gigs of porn
<r0bt3k> hahahah