bash.org archive

<yunicus> sometimes i can't deal with you people in text
format

<JtotheB> ( o  Y  o )
<Yosho> o.o
<Nazi[Genocide]> I wonder if anyone's ever gotten off to ascii
pr0n, like in the 80's
<JtotheB> Way ahead of you.

<Scofco> whenever I get a hardon
<Scofco> I pass out
<Scofco> well, I actually faint
<Scofco> because the idea of getting laid shocks me

<karl> OK, fixed.
<dbaker> Fixed?
<karl> I don't mean fixed like it works.

<BedBoB> ERR: scsi_wait_goat() no goat.
<lsd> i'm sure i don't remember having any goats near my old
all-SCSI amiga
<Bruce> the mac II here doesnt need goats either
<BedBoB> they have inbuilt goats
<lsd> on-board goat controller

<PitChic> here, i'm sure the women at those phone places will
talk to men or women..anyone paying.
<Marcus``> horses... farm animals
<Jadralec> Marcus you mean that in USA you can call horse on
phone for animal sex ??
<Jadralec> that's amazing
<Jadralec> we are far behind

[4:29pm] <ZombiE_FreaK> dude my brother is wacking off
[4:29pm] <ZombiE_FreaK> eww
<+little-mac> ZombiE_FreaK,go lend him a hand
<ZombiE_FreaK> ^_^ BRB ^_^
<+little-mac> omg

<blazemore> 1) he has pants listed in the arcade machine
section
<blazemore> 2) why would you buy used clothes over the
internet :/
<Slant|SCC> Let alone "techno raver DJ" pants?
<Steve-3> 9 bids so far
<Steve-3> maybe i should start selling my old boxers on ebay
<Steve-3> These boxers are in GREAT condition, with the
exception of a spot where i let go a little early
<Slant|SCC> But they're not any ordinary boxser.
<Slant|SCC> They're "techno raver DJ" boxers!

Lawyer-Acidbuk has 11 fingers
<Lawyer-Acidbuk> 10 on my hand and one....*shuts up*
<LatinoReheat> up your ass?

<DrBoris> oh well, when I get rich and famous, I will promote
games that hold the ideals of creativity and gameplay over
mindless violence
<Yutz> And go bankrupt.

<Mivalekan> the next generation of games will feature not
consoles
<Mivalekan> but the games only which will only be tiny
capsules
<Mivalekan> with which you insert into your anus and the game
plays in your brain
<Mivalekan> MAKE WAY FOR THE FUTURE
<Nosnam> So basically, the next generation of games will be an
LSD suppository?

<tobester> thats like being with a hot chick all night and
then you go "hey I gotta piss ill be right back" and she goes
"I'll join you" and you think you're about to get a handjob
but really she just needs to piss and takes the urinal next to
yours and hasa bigger penis than yours

<slash> masturbation is like tekken 2: after a while your hand
begins to FUCKING hurt, but you keep on going because you're
enjoying yourself too much.

<lambtron> lol the other day my mom was on the computer and I
was in the other room and she goes "I won! I won! What did I
win?"
<lambtron> and I yell "what are you talking about?"
<lambtron> and she goes "It says that if this is flashing, I
just won!!"

<@Spidey|> http://www.facethejury.com/profile.asp?user_name=
coralshay
<@D1> OMG! MOM?

< []ikkebra[]werk> my brother uses Musicmatch Jukebox to play
MP3s
< []ikkebra[]werk> we don't talk anymore
< []ikkebra[]werk> I think he just got married awhile ago

<UllerSkewl> metric system is better anyways
<stx-suicidal> werd
<stx-suicidal> inches are gay
<puto> your just mad cause you dont have many of them nick

<@Netwizard> Osamas dead
<@Burned> perhaps
<@Burned> i just dont want osama to keep releasing albums like
tupac

<shithead1> oh good sir geoffrey
<shithead1> did you slay any dragons in the last fortnight?
<jeff> no
<jeff> unless by slay any dragons you mean rub one off

[Moe] Girl you know I like it when you climb on top
[Moe] Love muscles feel tighter than a headlock
[Moe] And you know I love the way you make the bed rock
[Moe] Take me to extasy without taking Extasy
[sp00n] You're a horrible rapper
[+LoGo] and person

(making NPCs for D&D)
<Stefanf> Hurrah! I have decided what to spend the remaining
535 gp on!
<Stefanf> The captain of the Stade city guard now owns 267
sheep!
<Neko_Ali> Stefanf: make sure to buy him lots of fantasy bling
bling.
<Neko_Ali> Gold plated chainmail.
<Neko_Ali> a solid platinum toasting fork.
<Sutekh> gold plated Bikini
<Stefanf> Diamond-covered ring of protection?
<Neko_Ali> and a totally tricked out low-rider horse with
hydraulics!
<Stefanf> lmao!
<Neko_Ali> can't you just see him on inspection parade,
bouncing along with his magical music box blaring from the
saddle?

* Cyst slaps Aranarth.
* Cyst runs away.
* Aranarth wonders what the hell.
<Aranarth> ..
<Aranarth> missed two periods :p
<Cirith> you're probably pregnant
<Aranarth> Cyst impregnated me with a slap?
<Cirith> well, you did miss two periods
<Aranarth> No, they were just late

<@E-vangelist> are asian masturbation jokes shorter?

* Mak- was kicked by Nec (buu)
<____> someone from israel kicking a dude from el salvador in
a swedish channel, critizised by a german..... talk about
globalisation

<Flameseeker> no analyze of my nick, please :D
* Spazz kills Flameseeker and demands that he change his name.
* Adonai seeks the flame which Flameseeker seeks.
* Flameseeker is now known as Lameseeker
<Lameseeker> better, eh?
<Adonai> Lameseeker has finished his quest!

<road_over> some one is hacking me
<road_over> help
<@InvadeR> hacking you how..
<road_over> the lights on my modem are always flashing
<road_over> is this normal?

<Kuros> So this guy was selling Final Fantasy 7 on craigslist
for $500
<Sniper_Wolf> hahahaha wow
<Kuros> yeah
<Kuros> so i just made another ad there with that dudes number
<Kuros> selling the game for $20

<BackF> like a month ago, i moved my mousepad to the left of
the keyboard
<BackF> to practice, i wanted to switch mouse-hand.
<BackF> so, when i got used to it, i went and bought a
lefthandmouse
<BackF> i spent 2 hours wondering why i was rightclicking all
the time

<Darth-Phenom> Hmm, good RPG's coming out of Russia
<Squinky> Food Quest 7?

* iMac therefore iSuck *

<Gir> brb I gota get out of the shitter now.
<Mardom> what
<Mardom> the fuck

[+Aled]: u cant count with out usign your hands
[@Trixta]: *sigh*
::: Mode: (Trixta) sets (+b *!
[email protected])
::: Kick: (Aled) was kicked by (Trixta) (The only superiority
complex allowed in this irc room is mine, come back in 10
minutes after your head has shrunk., 10m ban  3 )
[@Trixta]: i was going to give him a longer ban but i've only
got 10 fingers ;)

<MaNiAk> damnit
<MaNiAk> damnit damnit
<MaNiAk> maniak.tk is taken by some porn shit
<Psyko> lol
<Psyko> what kinda porn?
<MaNiAk> not even porn
<Andaru> German Scheisse
<MaNiAk> www.maniak.tk
<MaNiAk> yea
<MaNiAk> its lolita porn
* Psyko pretends he's not interested
<Psyko> ew lolita porn
<haylo> Thats horrible.
* haylo clicks
* Psyko clicks as well

Dudespunk7: 90% of domestic abuse happens due to shitty compaq
products.
Dudespunk7: They don't want to ruin their expensive shit so
they take it out on the wife, or kids.
Famethrow1: and because that bitch doesn't vacuum.
Dudespunk7: Exactly.

<ChuffyCow> I'm having a bagel with nutella
<chrish> gnutella?!  it'll take you all day to download that
bagel!

<Bivens> Internet Explorer Tip: when it says "turn off
images", it only refers to inline images.  Which is why it's
safe to go to Goatse but not Tubgirl.  I think it's obvious
how I figured this out.

<port80> I was trying to do my washing yesterday, she draggeed
me onto the bed handcuffed me (oh how I struggled) and
*censored* the *censored* out of me.
<Hajitorus> plungered the herpes out of you?
<port80> yes... yes indeed

<over> k though... my best line ive said in an interview...
they asked "what do u do if you explain something to somebody
and they dont understand... what can u do to make them
understand?"
<over> "say the exact same thing but louder"
<Unfy> hehe
<over> and the funny thing is that the interview i said that
at was the one i got my internship at

<yesyouam> marijuana and unix permissions don't mix

<i4get> life sucks.
<Waldo> yeah, but so do some girls so it kinda evens out
<i4get> X(
<i4get> funny Waldo

<Sageous> I had a dream that i met michael jackson and he held
my hand while we talked for about 10 minutes....i woke up
feeling like i understood all the weirdness about him...but
then it faded like dreams do and now i cant understand him
again.
<Miss_P> i'd be more worried about him holding your hand if i
were you

<[Piratez]> I think i'm allergic to porn, everytime I look at
porn my cock swells.

<bean-> penises are cute!
<carmzz> they look like little darth vaders

<Dice> I've done it
<Dice> I've made a calculate
<Dice> calculater*
<Prothe|Studying> make a spell check now

<Toby> can people stop useing the internet its getting slow
for me

<bpshuler> it all comes down to what your goal is. and once
again, because people don't want to figure out on their own
what they want, they allow marketers to dictate it to them,
then act on it. frustrates me to no end
<Yawgatog> I want Super Mario World for Game Boy Advance.
That'll rule!

<Bal> saw lotr2
<biff|JK2> u like Bal?
<Bal> when legolas calls out to gimli at the begining, i was
expecting him to say 'come on silent bob'
<Lun> LOL

<Mojo> FF games never appealed to me
<Mojo> i feel unique and smart
<Mojo> and less nerdy
<Mojo> wait i never was nerdy
<Mojo> YEA
<Threeboy> hey, NEWS FLASH YOU'RE ON GODDAMN IRC!

<dora> I got one of those new penus razors
<rigel> ...
<dora> shit, I meant venus
<dora> BAD typo
<KAb0rN78> p and v are not even next to each other..
<rigel> now we all know what she's thinking about
<dora> :P

[vvandering_nomad] I took some of that fake blood one night,
and made it look like my eye was gushing blood. I walked up to
the front office of the complex where this poor cute little
asian gal was working.
[vvandering_nomad] I walked up to her and said "Is Student
Health Services open?"
[Lehsa] ROFL
[vvandering_nomad] I scored some free wet-naps!
[Ku'vah] LOL
[Lehsa] you are so mean Nomie
[Ku'vah] I need to get some fake blood
[vvandering_nomad] She almost called an ambulance, until I
convinced her that I was "getting some pills for it." and that
it "Happens every winter."
[Lehsa] LOL
[Lehsa] rofl
[Ku'vah] LOL
[lvlarein] Haha

<noah> no I need a way to come to terms with the fact that I
wasted
<noah> my horny years whacking off to porn instead of bagging
college
<noah> tail
<dr.adam> might i suggest bourbon

<M-ROTDL> Something you NEVER want your mom to say to you:
"You've got a large PENIS!"
<M-ROTDL> I was sitting down to game of MegaMan Legends 2....
<M-ROTDL> And she strolls by and goes, "Wow... you have a
large penis."

<Budgie> Opencanvas is a free-for-30-days-and-then-it-breaks
program for windows.
<Budgie> unless you pay :(
<RabbitGod> well I think I'll stick to my photoshop 7 with the
kazza lite discount

<Rob_> What is the word where you think everything should die?
<+shortarabguy> emo?
<Rob_> heh
<Rob_> good one
<zenmastar> goth?
<Rob_> shut up

<Pepe> I need to know if college consists of a lot of fucking,
or is that just in movies and is it like, masturbation all the
time? This decides whether I buy fifty boxes of condoms, or
fifty boxes of Kleenex.

<celebrity_nitwit> scrotum
<W0RMW00D> scrotum
<d1rge> damn im hungry

<@Phucker> Calling people by their real-names on IRC is a
violation of RFC1459.

<WoobiE> hey.. i see me in that pic!
<WoobiE> hooray for me
<jimiw> your mum must be proud
<WoobiE> yep
<WoobiE> doesnt explain why she beats me and tells me i
destroyed the family though

<tweekie> omglife!
* tweekie promptly dies
<Davidious> Oooooo
<Davidious> Hey babes
<tweekie> no necrophilia play tonight, i'm too tired
* Davidious sighs
* Davidious Quit (Connection reset by peer)

<Brynneh|w3rk> im doing my girlfriend all weekend
<Brynneh|w3rk> lol whoops
<Penfold> doesnt stop
<Brynneh|w3rk> *doing stuff
<Brynneh|w3rk> *doing stuff with
<Cavey> I shall mention that quote to her when I next se her
<Brynneh|w3rk> that was the mother of all typos

<+The_Steel> I scored a 96% on the procrastination test
<+The_Steel> I'm not suprised
<+emul8or_> i put off the procrastination test till tomorrow

<zeitgeist> bobs car is now known as scomobile :)
<lsd> hehehe
<lsd> does that make bob 'scoman'?
<lsd> nananananananana
<lsd> SCOMAN!
<zeitgeist> lol
<lsd> quick scoman! into the scomobole!
<zeitgeist> holy floating point exception errors scoman!

<jay> when i get married im gonna buy my wife a BMW 318,
because they are really safe and yet sluggish enough for her
not to cause any trouble
<adam> yeah? when i get married, im gonna take out a big life
insurance policy on my wife and buy her a Hyundai Excel

<dr_rotcod> he's an ex marine and i was drunk so i said,
"alright marine, kill me with one touch!"
<hakan> holy shit. wrong thing to say
<dr_rotcod> and all the sudden i was in some weird hold having
my shoulder ripped apart
<dr_rotcod> and then i fell on the ground laughing/crying
<hakan> did it break??
<dr_rotcod> he looked at his hands and went, "oh my god! the
demons of the american military have shone through and i am
hopeless!! HOPELESS"

<@Epyon[UOPG]> Giren's Greed is being remade on PS2
* @Epyon[UOPG] faints
*** Joins: Buster
<Nomadic_Dragon> What was it for originally?
<Buster> self-arousal
<Buster> im pretty sure.

<DarkLich> This night has gone down hill ever since my pets
starting flinging dung  at me

<JackDaiLo> i need to learn how to sing chinese angry music

<@Keron> no i think only catholics can confess
<@LordBrian> time to convert
<@Keron> no need to convert
<@Keron> jesus has already prepaid your visa sin card
<@Keron> he's already predied for your sins
<@Keron> it's like being preapproved to sin
<@liwei> that must have been a spectacular death
<@Keron> only if you don't accept him as your savior, then
instead of breaking your knee caps like a loan shark
<@Keron> he sends you to hell
<@Keron> kind of a bum deal if you ask me.
<@LordBrian> sounds like a jew all right

<nakke> !dictionary fellatio
<FillyJonk>  2 entries found for fellatio.
<FillyJonk>  fel-la-ti-o (f-l, -sh, f-) n. Oral stimulation of
the penis. [New Latin, from Latin felltus, past participle of
fellre, to suck. See dh(i)- in Indo-European Roots.]
<JibberJim> So billions is spent on making it possible for
people to "chat" across the world, and access dictionary's and
what do you do? - look up dirty words...