bash.org archive

<whitcomb> there's this thing on the news about what to do if
someone cheats on you
<whitcomb> the simple answer, whether this is a relationship
or a video game, is to kill them

<wo1fwork> maybe if you got a giant pole made of the strongest
thing in the universe
<wo1fwork> and attached one end to the moon and one to the
earth
<wo1fwork> you could fuck shit up, or break the pole
<NOCKY2K> maybe if everyone peed in the atlantic ocean at once
jesus would come back and tell us to not be so naughty

<EvilJoven> the canadian navy has 2 submarines, the biggest
mall in canada has 3
<EvilJoven> something is wrong with this country

*** Maquiavelo changes the topic to 'If you don't want to have
kids, have sex with your sister in law and you'll have
nephews'

<Actinium> so she's like "hey" and i swooned, drooled, and wet
my pants
<Actinium> and I came back with "hello"
<Actinium> i think it's love

<krazegurl> fuck
<krazegurl> i smell like cock
<krazegurl> i didnt wash my face well enough or it went up my
nose

[11:29] *** kiwix is now known as kiwiGF
[11:34] *** kiwiGF is now known as kiwix
<mightyflo> that was quick.

@(mhweaver) new philosophy on life:
@(mhweaver) "I may have to share this planet with animals, but
I'm doing my damn best to eat every last one of them."

<Yukanojo> Man, dyn.optonline.net just took a massive shit
<SPOONprez> Yukanojo: too much fiber in the network? :D

<davis> you're site reminds me of a commercial
<MyBodyIs4Sale> which commercial?
<davis> the one where the girl dumps the guy because of his
lack of substance on his web page

<Feranis> Is it bad...
<Feranis> When this:
<Feranis> )=
<Feranis> Vividly reminds me of the planetary ion cannon they
had on Hoth?
<Gararion> what?
<Gararion> ah lol
<Zork> That's bad. It's a frowny-face, not an ion cannon
<Zork> dork

<crunchyfish> It's easier to talk to girls if you find little
ways to surprise them.
<crunchyfish> Like punching them in their fucking whore face
in a dark parking lot.

<Aboshi> Women. I drive 'em crazy.
<Trinity> crazy = away

<Dejer> anyone know where the hell Femunda cheese comes from
<InCDeathmeister> Femunda these nuts

<SuM_gUy> wat did i do rong
<SuM_gUy> ô¿ô
<wok> learn to spell then i will tell you
<SuM_gUy> wat did i spell rong
<SuM_gUy> hay

<Hamsters> is there any tips that i can pass my writen test?
<shagman> hamsters, learn english

<Bmann> -sigh- was looking for my chap stick blindly and
picked up a battery and started rubbing it on my lips

<skunk>What's a slut like you doing in a classy joint like
this??

<BRAVESTAR> AOL HACKED ME NOW I CANT USE LOWER CASE
<BRAVESTAR> THIS WILL FUCK MY UNIX SHIT UP
<BRAVESTAR> -bash-2.05b$ LS
<BRAVESTAR> -bash: LS: command not found
<BRAVESTAR> FUCK

<dustin> i'm hung like a zombie process

<Bobman> Im gonna take the catalytic converter off my car,
bend the muffler to the side and rig a spark plug on the
inside
<Bobman> Drive-by flamethrower

<#seattle/ThisGirl> SONOFABITCH
<#seattle/ThisGirl> i hate it when ppl ask me if im male or
female

<God_of_Mischief> SODOMIZING ME WILL NOT WARM MY ASS UP!

<Icedude> you know what pisses me off? when morpheus was
jumping for the helicopter in the matrix, agent smith uses a
wallhack! THIS IS NOT CS, ITS THE MATRIX! GET YOUR FACTS RIGHT
AGENT!

<DigiGnome> When you recognise most of the links from Portal
of Evil because they're on your favourites list, that's the
time to start worrying.

<fireserve> now, if you were to say "you stupid elephant cock
sucker" in a font like apple chancery, it would be rude yet
classy

<PeopleProgrammer> www.masterprocrastinator.com is taken
<TungstenCarbide> you shouldn't have waited so long

<KeeperX> i have my time machine built into a '67 el camino
<TrueBlue> The front is like a car!
<TrueBlue> The back is like a truck!
<TrueBlue> The front is where we sit!
<TrueBlue> The back is where we... EL CAMINO!

<ZondrZout> Dammit, something is coming out of my ass!
<ZondrZout> brb

(FishBulb) i exposed my lie once, then |w|dcc made an .avi
(|W|DCC) #6 101x (680kb): avi of a 2' dick

<@Pumiliocumfustis> these speakers have so much bass
<@qrg> how do they fit fish in such small boxes

<Gareth>: i was tryin to make a :S face in real life while at
the doctors, and all these handicaps walked in while i was
doing it
<Gareth>: and they sat down next to me, and started stroking
my head and stuff, saying, "friend, friend"
<Gareth>: Thats When i Realised.........
<Bill>: .......yes.......what did u realise
<Gareth>: I Fucken realised there were a bunch of retards
stroking my head!!!

<Geothermal> "<Sphlynxo> Watch your mouth, son." what the hell
was that
<Geothermal> he better be joking
<Geothermal> 'cause this is fucking finalfight
<Kazz-readin> Yeah.  Fight the power!
<dregan> Where the men are men, the women are women, the sheep
are scared, and the preteen girls are 40-year-old men!

<LADYCHUMY> rebooting everyone
*** LADYCHUMY has quit IRC (Quit: U asked me whom I luv d most
, i said my life, u cried n turned away, tears fell coz u left
abt 2 say ur my life...)
<Viggo> hmmm
<Viggo> that sentiment was ruined by AOL slang

<BobXP> imagine if computers were like genes
<BobXP> they'd all be different and not quite work right
<@backdrifts> computers like genes / defective and failure
prone / dude, you got a Dell
<@backdrifts> computers like girls / nice curvaceous money
traps / dude, you got a Mac

<Dissident> I just wrote an entire paper of complete BS
<Dissident> and not just BS, but horribly obvious BS
<Dissident> like something a stoned person would have written
<Dissident> a very stoned person
<Dissident> who passed out on the keyboard halfway through
<Chaos> "The industrial revolution was
gggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg"

Nostradomz: this sounds funny but can udownload memory

<@Rakzor> I hate gravity, it's always keepin me down.

<Sh0t> i have bumps among my pubes
<Dirge> Sh0t: those are testacles

<Capt_Suicide> god fucking damnit
<Capt_Suicide> my sister puked all over my toilet
<Capt_Suicide> i just fucking cleaned that thing earlier from
where nathan shit all over it
<Capt_Suicide> good thing i bought that toilet bowl cleaner
today
<Kornered> what a rediculous thing to waste your money on
<FaQz0r> get a dog
<FaQz0r> dogs clean everything

<brent> I think when you check all the empty beer cans you
have a problem on your hands
<sledge> and that would be no more beer

<DarkSun> I ask for a n64 emu and a big nerd syz me go to
http://www.emu's.shoved.up.my.arse.com
<DarkSun> Anyone have a good webpage with EMU????

<JonJonB> <FantasyGa> coz if u want i have this free user and
pass to a gay site
<Onyx> JonJonB: tell an Oper he's bothering you
<JonJonB> Not yet dude, I'm about to get a free pass to a
gay...um yeah...oper...

<Joe-> put
<Joe-> cant u do
<Joe-> if like
<Joe-> it
<Joe-> joins
<Joe-> any proxy
<Phunk> cant
<Phunk> you put
<Phunk> your shit
<Phunk> on
<Phunk> one line
<Phunk> ?

<RedHart> apparently an african-american waitress went
ballistic when overhearing some people who just competed at a
local dogshow proclaim "That black bitch was the ugliest I've
seen all day" (referring of course to a cocker spaniel female
who beat their dog that day)

<BloodNose> I'm actually going out for the weekend ... *gasp*
<BloodNose> to spend a night ...
<Blender13> woah
<BloodNose> at a girls house *bigger gasp*
<cryptonix> his aunts
<BloodNose> lol
<Blender13> lol
<BloodNose> and like, I've never even met this girl before
<Blender13> obviously his aunt
<cryptonix> great aunt
<Blender13> ah
<BloodNose> apparently she's really fit and been offered a
modeling job
<cryptonix> hot great aunt
<Blender13> and why the hell are you going there?
<BloodNose> ok, brb ... I need to phone my uncle to see if
it's alright with my aunt still

barry: 41 pix til my cam rolls over
barry: woo
Eoghann: how many til it plays dead?
Zaren: </rimshot>

<rH-rogue> just cuz there's no bulge because i don
<rH-rogue> 't asdlhfaslhdfasdf
<rH-rogue> damn it
<rH-rogue> i just had premature enterkeyation

<Techbert> I'm an idiot, it's your fault for confusing me. :P

<markogogo> :(
<markogogo> I try and try and try....
<markogogo> ... and nothing comes out of it.
<Yellow-Snow> try using the other hand mark

(bc) i have the newest version of windows from microsoft...
Fuck ME

<PyRo_ZaCh> i think i gota try sellin weed or something
<KeLLy`R> i'll buy some!
<PyRo_ZaCh> u got a heat lamp i could borrow?
<KeLLy`R> no sorry
<PyRo_ZaCh> hrmmmmmmm
<PyRo_ZaCh> i need that first
<PyRo_ZaCh> i got it planed so if i would  no one could find
<PyRo_ZaCh> but i need a heat lamp
<PyRo_ZaCh> and a rabbit
<PyRo_ZaCh> and some sort of hover craft

<MrMonkey> Erdrick: I speak your language a lot better than I
speak yours, ok?

<@w0k> i love myself, i'm so full of myself i could puke up a
Clone

<Snag> *beep*beep*
<Steil> snag you set off the gaydar again didnt you???
<Snag> funny
<Snag> :|

Leftist   i like songs where they count or spell things, to
fill space.
Eeyore    so you're a big fan of sesame street songs, leftist?

<Creeper> yeah the last time I tried social activity, I get
home...and BAM
<Creeper> Herpies

<NightGyr> have you tried EFnet?
<hamann> No, I don't do drugs

[topic changed [ @lelesan [ Attention IRC Users: No one
fucking cares what mp3 you are listening to ]

<memo> Kazz, do you WANT your dick bit off? Didn't we just
have an in-depth discussion earlier today on why that's not a
good thing?

<astyanax>  /topic Yes, slashdot is down, please remain seated
and oxygen masks will drop frmo the overhead compartment

<AfraidOfAmericans> I have money that smells like marijuana
smoke
<AfraidOfAmericans> I am annoyed.
<Popples> I like the normal smell of money.
<AfraidOfAmericans> heh.
<AfraidOfAmericans> you mean cocaine?

<Dayv> I was also raised by women.
<Dayv> Soft mother and wire mother, to be specific.
<Dayv> I chose wire mother.

<raelee> I wont take it in the ass until I am married.

<m_neshue> sorry for repeating... but. does anybody know what
apps there are for testing the real size of a cdr media?
<Supachikn> A RULER
<Supachikn> AND GENERALLY ITS ABOUT 12 CENTIMETERS

<Mat> what's a mac sysadmin?
<Ryk> bru's a mac sysadmin.
<Bru> someone who can remove shrinkwrap from macromedia and
adobe packages and knows the difference between appleshare and
appletalk

<cursedgenie> damn it i have pins and needles in my foot
<Draco889> wtf did you put them in there for?

<Object> next thing you know she'll be sticking dildo's up my
ass
<Object> that's just harsh
<[ric]> well it's harsh if it isn't lubed

uiu CTCP VERSION reply from Dr_DOS: DREAMCAST-IRC-CLIENT-2