bash.org archive

<RageFury|Work> Like just 2 days ago I casually dropped some
Jalapeno into the can of Alpo Cat food I set out for the
kitten.
<RageFury|Work> Freaking bastard tried to claw my pants.

<+ariana_> good perl code is indistinguishable from line noise

<Spyre-> the beers just sit there, silently staring, and
mocking the mistakes my animal mind makes sometimes

* Q-ball shoots SpoonRanger in the head with a 9 millimeter.
MrCoulomb> how can you shoot someone with a length mesurement?

<[Cable]KingKapalone2> anyone have a blackhawk down serial or
key generator?
<Claus> 6uy-th3-m0v1e-1n5t3d

<treke|laptop> wtf is terrier_explosion
<hendersa> An exploding terrier.
<hendersa> Geez.  I though the filename was self explanatory.

<Nicklon> agh i just typed in lego technic into limewire
search and i got porn results
<Reubenoit> probably because you typoed 'lego' as 'hardcore
penetration"

<kritical> where can I buy a freon tank?
<novocain> you can't
<novocain> you can't even buy a can of spray paint
<novocain> because you're 16
<tenfour> haha

<homerj> damn
<homerj> it's hotter then the devil's dick in a pair of heated
speedos here

<sisko> did you castrate jason for hiding the pron?
<Kaff> no. that would defeat the purpose.
<sisko> suppose so.
<Kaff> i just shook my fist a lot and said "grr"
<sisko> haha. and I suppose he was utterly intimidated
<Kaff> like a good husband, he's suitably scared of me.
<Kaff> he's seen me naked.

<Cthulhu> What the fuck is up with all the "roses are red"
quotes on bash.org?
<Matt> They're cool, that's what...
<Cthulhu> Roses are red, violets are blue, SHUT THE FUCK UP,
YOU FUCKING JEW

<enrol> pure fucking godfather of IDM
<jj_> whats IDM
<jj_> is it
<jj_> INTENSIVE DICK MAINTENANCE
<enrol> intelligent dance music
<jj_> oh
<jj_> close enough

<Pants> you know .. living in australia .. and being raised
watching so much american television .. sometimes you get
confused and think to dial 911 instead of 000 for emergencies

<moku> oh god
<moku> i typed "PENISHED" instead of "PUNISHED" in an e-mail

<Dark_Ayanami> Popups have been around since the dawn of porn.
Prehistoric, pornographic cave paintings would interrupt
primitive man's masturbation with other paintings popping up
hawking larger genitalia/clubs/wheels/fires.
<Dark_Ayanami> Then the first man would bash the new painter
with his club (a primitive version of a mouse) and get back to
"work".
<Dark_Ayanami> This is the first demonstrated case of "popup
rage".

<colins> Anyone got $50 to lend me, I'm thinking of taking
over WorldCom
<fallous> not anymore.  I just bought xerox for $27.95
<colins> you got ripped
<fallous> it included a new toner cartridge for my photocopier

[ExCal]: hey andre, do you live on welfare?
[ANDrEY]: NOO, BARRINGTON AVE.

<Vis> ill open it in notepad, print it
<Vis> fax it
<Vis> and you can type it up
<Vis> and save as .avi

aphextron > Friends are highly overrated.
aphextron > Have you ever once masturbated with a friend?
aphextron > I should hope not, unless it s a girl friend
aphextron > but if that were the case you wouldn t be reading
this

<Rx> I am eating hot dogs that have little bits of cheese
inside the frankfurter
<Rx> It is amazing.
<Rx> I am sure this must be an american invention
<Rx> but it's like a man who ejaculates cream cheese is having
sex in my mouth with a beautiful pork woman

<Shaft> my dad used to buy them for his coffee and i would
always just eat them out of the box
<@kaanchy> i used to eat powdered milk
<Shaft> that was coke
<Shaft> your mom was a cocaine addict
<@kaanchy> so that explains why im eating it right now

<Japhro> I like my coffee like I like my women: $2.50

[Nokturnal] I remember when i worked at holiday in...if our
employees got a free stay, they had to have the "greencard"
signed. it was just a little green card saying you worked at
holiday inn. i once asked this one employee for his greencard
and he went apeshit on me.
[Nokturnal]he's all "I GOT MY FUCKING GREENCARD YOU RACIST
MOTHERFUCKER"

<IMP-Scott> Transferred: rzr-wc3.017 15,000,000 bytes in 1.60
(9,143.84 KB/Sec)
<IMP-Scott> my local Box
<IMP-Scott> whooohoooo
<IMP-Scott> 100Mbit
<JtHM> WOW! YOU MUST HAVE A GIGANTIC PENIS !
<IMP-Scott> errrr?
<dt|BadAss> lol

<Romhog> anyone know what an (edict 75) repeating error is in
3wctf?
<Superf0Rk> Romhog- yes
<Superf0Rk> Romhog- but i'm not telling you
<Superf0Rk> Romhog- until you comment on my nipples
<Romhog> they look like little stereo knobs  ;o

<CyberBotX> did you know, Alt+Z makes your text go backwards.
<CyberBotX> .ereh ti did i ?ees
*** Kuraj[Away] ([email protected]) has left
#bobandgeorge
*** Megami ([email protected])
has left #bobandgeorge
<Lady_Vahn|Balloon_Fight> !seod ti, looc yeh

<Seppukoi> kthx so today in driver's ed we had a guest speaker
<Seppukoi> and he was talking about teh alcohol, and also teh
seatbelts
<Seppukoi> he was explaining this article he read
<Seppukoi> well, the article was talking about these two
idiots who crashed their car into the front doors of a school
<Seppukoi> and said they were tyring to kill themselves, but
they survived with minor injuries because they were wearing
seatbelts
<Seppukoi> so I screamed out "HAHA NOOB!!!"
<Seppukoi> and my friend screamed out "those guys SUCK at the
killing themselves"
<Seppukoi> he also said "those newbs got fux0red up!"
<Seppukoi> I said "they probably had wallhacks" and the
teacher was looking at us like "wtf"
<Seppukoi> we kept talking about it and comparing it to things
:/

<Ein-> ha, I bet my school is a million times worse
<Pez666> Doubt it.
<Pez666> Unless it's a community college.
<Ein-> ever live with a 300lb man in a skirt?
<Pez666> Man our "dorm" is a fucking hotel they cleaned out.
<Pez666> and they just added it this semester.
<Ein-> so I take that as a "no", you never put up with the
sounds of a vibrator being shoved up the ass of a sweaty 300lb
man in a skirt before.
<Scarly> wtf
<Scarly> Ew
<Scarly> Ewwwww
<Pez666> haha
* RobertRence recoils in shock and horror.
<Scarly> Ewwwwwwwwwww
<RobertRence> Pleaaaase tell me you're lying.
<RobertRence> And that you washed your hands afterwards.

<Thru^Me^Cool> you don't know cool until you've played the
tuba!!

<Ronwe> when I signed onto IRC I didn't expect to be involved
in sodomy
<Ronwe> or incest....
<Ronwe> or be enjoying it....

<CoMBo> so for job titles, i should put Wholesale Distributor,
Bookkeeping and ...what goes here
<jube> Village Idiot

<MSminion> /msg $*.net a/s/l
<MSminion> Let's see how many death threats I can get.

<DarbySniper> My mother got a digital camera today. She wanted
to know how many pictures it could take before she replaced
the film in the memory card.

<ez1|#trance> hey anyone who has experience with ecstasi
please msg me , rush

<productiveslacker> what is the +v and +o and stuff, blood
types?

<rbgrn> I HAVE ONE GOD DAMN THING TO SAY
<rbgrn> The author put up $10,000 for anyone that could find
any hole in qmail over the coarse of 2 years
<rbgrn> no one did.
<foop> because nobody cared

<]AoV[Virus|OGC> anyone know an altanative to napster?
<TIK|wombat> Walmart
<]AoV[Virus|OGC> can ya dcc it?

poetica09: i need to think of more ways to make an ass of
myself
poetica09: it's fun stuff
poetica09: i was considering going somewhere next weekend
poetica09: and putting up a sign, like maybe outside of a
store
poetica09: and a tin can
poetica09: and the sign would say
poetica09: "donate to help a deaf blind man stay alive"
poetica09: and i could be sitting on a lawn chair
poetica09: reading a magazine and listening to my cd player
poetica09: and waving at people who walk by :-p

<@*****> :( i suck
* @SpeedyPhoenix zips up
<@SpeedyPhoenix> why the sad face? it was good.

<marlais> for i am no longer a stranger in the ways of the
woman :P
<SoulSteal> marlais:  you finally killed one, eh?

Dervish: I want boxer shorts that have text " Geek inside" in
the front =)
plan-9: why? noone will ever see that

<Sco0ter> kelly osbourne is hot
<Eficent> i would hit it
<Carface> I would hit it
<Carface> In the face with a sledgehammer

<Hydra> * penguin has joined #12-15yrz
<Hydra> <penguin> any chicks there
<Hydra> lol
<Kevorkian> what scares me hydra, is that you are in that
channel

<Skulljack> Funny how all zombies have muscles, skin and
everything else nearly falling off of them, yet they almost
always have a fully functioning digestive system.

<coppo> what are methods of assuming someone's identity? Just
curi...no, actually I plan to rip people off.

<MrSaturn> <Sergo_k> so you say that you r a good player in CS
<MrSaturn> <MrSaturn> Yes.
<MrSaturn> <MrSaturn> I am l33t beyond all mortal
comprehension.
<Sergo_k> no way man
<MrSaturn> Yes.
<Sergo_k> i think you talk bvetter than pley
<Sergo_k> i think you talk bvetter than play
<MrSaturn> I certainly hope you play better than you talk

<Asmodean> WTF?  I'm watching this guy with a leaf blower,
blowing mulch across he parking lot.
<Xuande> Lots of people with names from Three Kingdoms on
bash.org
<Asmodean> He blew it all one way
<Asmodean> then walked around, and blew it back in the
opposite direction.
<Asmodean> da hell?
<Icchan-san> he's getting paid by the hour

<LucyAway> Pina coladas are girl drinks too
<LucyAway> They are just so fruity and cold
<Nailbunny> like queer eskimos

<Whisper> k so I have come to a conclusion about the sniper in
DC and it isnt good news for CS players
<Whisper> want to hear it?
<CJ> Sure
<Trent_Alkaline> dont tell me he's wallhacking...

--> therevelator ([email protected]) has
joined #linux-kernel
<therevelator> hi. does anybody know how to make the
init-process look look like star wars?

cougah66: dude, i am so uber fucked
cougah66: I mean, the uberness, of the fuckage....it boggles
the mind

<GenOberst> I had to mule kick out, and grab his foot to
reverse it
<GenOberst> bent his big toe outwards away from the foot...
<Tac0> oh nothing compared to my day, I flew an F-16 across
the DMZ for kicks, resuerected Bruce Lee then killed him again
with my bare hand (one tied behind my back), then after that i
proceeded to sleep with 20 supermodels at the same time, and
to top it off i bitch-slapped the pope

<pip> what does the +iz mean by my name?
<MrFalcon> it means you can /disco
<-- pip has quit (Quit: Disconnecting)

Metl_AtWork: "Whatever comes out of the resolution must
address the root cause," Bush said
Metl_AtWork: I love bush quotes.
Metl_AtWork: he makes me feel smart when I read them.
Metl_AtWork: hes like the John Madden of politics =D

<freakar> In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man likes to
snicker and yell "Polo!"

<energizer> how should i tell her?
<flawed> just draw a little stick figure in photoshop then
some barb wire then another stick figure on the other side of
the wire, then put arrows pointing at each, one with "brian"
and the other with "shannon"
<flawed> doesn't have to be barb wire either, it can be a
dragon.. or a moat

<sean> And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto
the chicken,
<sean> "Thou shalt cross the road."
<sean> And the chicken crossed the road
<krohnjw__> that chicken should have been like "back off god,
im doing this my way"
<krohnjw__> then he would have gotten owned

<Shuichi-k> I learn something new everyday
<Shuichi-k> whether it be about norse religion or how far a
man can stretch his ass
<Shuichi-k> ah, irc

<Deepsy`SilentHill4> my ex came with BitchX internally
intergrated.

<Ez> I'm having an orgy tonight
<Ez> Right decided to invite left and her friend pillow

<Jarvik7> wonder if they'll have a 'real life' type show, but
with people in a rom channel

Shark: there was one kinda funny bit in unreal2
Shark: i was waiting around in this defence bit.. and i was
pickin my nose
Shark: and suddenly one of my guys yells BOGIES!! BOGIES!!!
Shark: i was like haha omg? ..oh he means incomming enemy :|

<eyeball> you know you're a geek when you run your webcam
software to see what you look like instead of going to the
bathroom mirror

* KiLLerMiK has joined #tonyhawksproskater
<KiLLerMiK> are we talking about tony hawk?
<bens0nio> mmm wendy's bacon cheeseburger
<KiLLerMiK> best combo?
<bens0nio> best combo is #2

<bin_Laden> Some English teacher got beaten to death a couple
months ago.
<Morris> hahaha
<Morris> must've given an AP student a B

<[33rd-A]Ruger> i've actually considered assassination in
order to get a girl
<Logic_BomB> your into necrophilia too eh?

<iddqd> have you read hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy?
<elf> ya
<iddqd> it r l333t
<iddqd> i've only read up to halfway of restaurant @ the end
of the universe...
<iddqd> need to carry on
<elf> have u read my gf jsut dumpped me so i played quake all
night ?
<iddqd> ouch
<iddqd> soz man :/
<elf> dont worry , i have bash.org , i can laugh at all the
OTHER pathetic loosers out there
<iddqd> haha that's the spirit

<Amante> Do you guys know how many 24hr porno shops they have
going down 75?
<@Breathe> 138.
<@Breathe> And you don't want to know how I know that.
<Amante> I thought I recognized your picture :)

<drdink> drwiii: pipe it, assmonkey.
<drwiii> |