bash.org archive

<CreepingDeath> what was that other guy
<CreepingDeath> during WWII
<CreepingDeath> he was in charge of the concentration camps
<CreepingDeath> argh can't remember his name
<Malek> colonel klink?

<Chrizto> one day someone on this channel will die and their
last words
will be construed as irc laughter from their head slapping the
keyboard on the way down.

(@Normandy) anyway, yes this girl has a nice arse, so maybe on
the next staff night out I might slip her one
(@Kazimierz) who says romance is dead

<w3nis> people with down syndrome are all "Hey check us out we
have an extra chromosome, weeee, wipe our ass"

<@B-Spider`> you young bastage
<@B-Spider`> your balls drop yet?
<@|Qc|Cutthroat> all 3 of them
<@|Qc|Cutthroat> to my surprise

* ILoveJackDaniels is gonna set up a "Ken's Typos" quote site
<kensplace>  msssake me anon but ken still
<ILoveJackDaniels> Ken: Lay off the crack. Seriously ;)
<kensplace>  lol
* kensplace promises not to slay antyother word

<evenpar123|Dean> how much is long distance?
<Slant> evenpar123|Dean: Depends on your carrier.
<evenpar123|Dean> Satan
<Slant> 666 cents a minute.

[+Mr_Day]: Santa Claus, now he's real. At least, that's what
they call the pervert around here, who masturbates on
rooftops. He comes down chimneys.

<WC|spieler> Installing photoshop from within a compressed
archive.
<WC|spieler> with my antivirus active
<WC|spieler> this ought to turn out well.
<WC|spieler> sometime next summer

<+Spazz> [12:41] <@w00tah> cope to dransik this spazz
<+Spazz> [12:41] <@w00tah> THRAF you m00f and you suck !
*** Thraf sets mode: -b *!*@adsl-212-59-30-231.takas.lt
<+Spazz> We've had our top military code experts try to
decifer his message.
<@Thraf> tell him to return
<+Spazz> It seems that Lithuania is officially declairing war
against the USA and the UK.
<@Curz> Talk about guerilla tactics, noone in the US knows
where Lithuania is, so they can strike freely

<sortof> i slept on a glowstick wrong

<tngkicksbum> that book sucked ass
<tngkicksbum> there was no sex in it!
<tngkicksbum> and the violence wasn't intense enough
<tngkicksbum> and there was no math either
<tngkicksbum> i liked reading euclid's elements
<fizzie> so euclidean geometry has violence intense enough for
your tastes? interesting.

<@arioch> the UT chicks looked too manly for my tastes
<@arftron> serious
<@meiso> wtf she is sexy
<@meiso> her beard is pure ripe for stroking

<Crash2xs> smoke time
* spider_gurl smokes
<Crash2xs> I wonder y all the sex workers smoke
<Inanna> friction?

<bahithnko> Girls are like Golf
<Moogle> whats golf
<bahithnko> Its a game where you gotta get your balls in a
hole without hitting them much

* CanuckSaq screws with people's minds way too much
<mindrape> CanuckSaq: you must have a little weewee, cuz i
didn't feel you were screwing mine :/
<CanuckSaq> mr: a) I have a gigantic cock, and b) you assume
you actually possess a mind

-Taking place in a Battlefield 1942 game-
<monk|GC> one time i saw a guy with binoculars,  he was just
standing there for like, 5 minutes
<monk|GC> and i asked what are you doing. he says if i wait
long enough the lasers will kill all of them

<Blondebeard> Sumez: Why are you always confusing me with
Blood? :)
<Sumez> Blondebeard: Nick completer
<Ben Whatsisname> Blondebeard486 It's called typing "blo" and
hitting [tab]
<Ben Whatsisname> Sumez just isn't watching who he's "blo"ing.
:)

<+Myke> omg you're such a gay poopooface
<+Myke> be mature

<spazzer> paul is sad because he had a bout of premature
ejaculation
<tobdude> everytime I think of premature ejaculation... I
think like a gun going off without anybody firing it... like
you are walking along... and BAM!@
<tobdude> oh crap! I just ejactulated myself

<DC> like i had this pet duck one time
<DC> he was the biggest fuck up ever
<DC> and he was such an asshole to me
<DC> and i would be like "come here quacker"
<DC> hmm maybe he was pissed because i named him quacker
<DC> yeah thats got to be it

<daenonok> i remember this one time, like two years ago my
girlfriend (at the time) was trying to learn me...somethen, i
wasn't really paying attention, but she said
<daenonok> 'if barbie was a real woman, she'd have to walk on
all fours'
<daenonok> after like a minute of thinking i was like 'that
seems like icing on the cake'

<shagman> k, keep words like cock and fuck out of here
* Runnigan fucks shagman with his cock

<halos> here's the thing about fucking pamela anderson:
<halos> it's been done

* freeloki hopes that this emote works; otherwise, he'll look
like an idiot.
<Abstruse> "emote"?
* freeloki notes that his emoting was successful. 8)
<Abstruse> I remember when the /me command was called an
ACTION...now it's an "emote"?  Dude, they've finally managed
to pussify IRC...

<Atob> The internet's like the Bible but with pictures.
<Atob> And those pictures are of naked ladies.

<ATAD> I saw a girl that has a pikachu umbrella
<ATAD> it's all yellow, has pikachu's face on it, and 2
pikachu ears sticking off the top
<Wagoo> Was she seckzy?
<ATAD> iono
<ATAD> I was looking at the pikachu umbrella more
<Wagoo> "Hello my dear, that's an awfully attractive pikachu
umberella you have there, maybe you'd like to come back to my
dorm room to discuss it's forms, themes, and concept."

[ace_kevi] heh, i didn't know there was a programming language
called
brainfuck.
[buz-] goes by "MIPS assembler" also

<sail> everyone must face their inner canadian

<FunnyPants> Do i look dumb or am i really dumb?
<Mr...> both...
<FunnyPants> I dont get it?

<danien> Here, Palden-, have this sample dildo I found in my
mailbox.
<Palden-> is it used?
<danien> No, it's still vacuum-sealed.
<Palden-> pfft, then i don't want it

* Joins: kickurass
*** wes changes the topic to 'latest: phoenix 2.1 gamecobe
loader'
*** wes changes the topic to 'latest: phoenix 2.1 gamecube
looder'
<wes> shit, that i suck lol.
*** wes changes the topic to 'update: latest phoenix 2.1
loader for gamecube'
<kickurass> can someone tell me what's the latest version of
the phoenix loader is???

<^Amber^> LEAVE MY ILLETERATE ASS ALONE!
<^Amber^> I didn't spell that right did I?

<signine> i walk into work wearing a hawaiian shirt, with pink
hair, wearing paint-covered shoes, a server is down, stuff is
happening that sucks and is causing massive fallout and my job
is probably in danger
<signine> and what do i get from my coworkers?
<signine> "nice shirt, where'd you get it?"

<JtHMx> not overly keen on a film that makes #warez-nz fanboys
cry
<billa> you need to respect.
<billa> to scared youll break down
<JtHMx> no, too scared I'll waste a couple of hours of my life
<JtHMx> says the man on irc at 1am

<Scire> if Milla Jovavich was sucking me off, when I came in
her mouth I'd scream, "BIG BA-DA-BOOM!"

(+Cougem) msns telling me to make sure im on the internet
(+Cougem) how do i check

<moira> o
<AnimeFreak> my new keyboard has improved my typing skills
<AnimeFreak> too bad other keyboards suck compared to this
keyboard
<moira> is it an ergonomic microsoft keyboard
<AnimeFreak> no
<AnimeFreak> ibm model m
<moira> sry ergonomic is best
<AnimeFreak> no
<AnimeFreak> model m > *
<jre> FUCKS SAKE, ARE THEY FORGETTING TO INSTALL SHIFT KEYS ON
THE NEW KEYBOARDS?!?@!

<@burzzzzzz> i must be drunk
<@burzzzzzz> i wanted to know what time it was
<@burzzzzzz> and to check if my arm pits smells
<@burzzzzzz> so i sniffed my watch and looked at my arm pit

<Grim> I have figured out a way to cut email spam in half
<Grim> Instead of "Make your penis larger" and "Lose 20
pounds", we can just have "Redistribute your weight".
<Grim> :p

<Doggy^666> i have just been mentally scarred
<Doggy^666> im never gunna look in my mothers underwear drawer
again

<Guilty> Wasnt there some option you changed last time when
DCC kept cutting off?
<maff> yeah I reinstalled windows

<freddieandthestarfish> if homosexuallity is a disease, can i
call into work gay??
<mal_s> u homo

* hals masturbiert zu: Mudvayne - dig
<shawnporn> is that german?
<hals> it is
<shawnporn> germans masturbate to some weird stuff

<Fa||an> Steve Irwin
<Fa||an> Description: Ever since he walked in on his wife and
an alligator having an affair, he hasn't been the same
<@Cyber|NWN> She loves the Croc ;)

<jim_the_hat> without programmers you would not be able to
chat on irc 15 hours a day ally^ :P
<ally^> i know
<ally^> i could be doing something else
<ally^> like sucking dick

(drmatitis) ya, i've graduated from the rockstar mullet to the
NASCAR mullet

<Deim0s|Medic> I used to live down the road from a brothel
<Deim0s|Medic> It was on TV
<Maestro|Medic> kewl
<Deim0s|Medic> ya
<Deim0s|Medic> err
<Deim0s|Medic> I never went in
<Jabberwocky> and if you did, you went in for the articles.

MageGal: MageGal: You know what one of the coolest things is?
BubblyLikeSoda: umm...a duck...?
MageGal: Baby wipes.
BubblyLikeSoda: lol
BubblyLikeSoda: really?
MageGal: We have no toilet paper downstairs right now, but
there are babywipes.
MageGal: I feel so very fresh and clean.

<ravon> kamikaze_: japp
<ravon> kamikaze_: Något i den stilen, men du får lugna dig
med parametrarna.
<ravon> kamikaze_: Vadå, förstår du inte vad jag säger? Bra
kodde.
<wipu> oh setLocale(Locale.EN)
<ravon> wipu: nah, just speak a random language as
retaliation.
<wipu> i just did, my choice was java :)

<Puff-working> I play the banjo..never learned fiddle..but I
might someday.
<Puff-working> and I can make a harmonica sing.
<Unfor|Work> I play the CD player

<MrMoves> Adam, you see driving a car, is a bit like making
love to a beautiful woman, take it easy at first, get
comfortable, then rag the arse off her until she dies, then
trade her in for a new model

* LordLinus has returned.. back again ..[gone/46d 16h 43m 32s]
* LordLinus is gone.. autoaway after 15 min [cyp/lp]..
<nester> and so it begins again...

<Ishtardances> See why dont guys have to prove they are "male"
on the internet?
<Slapahoewitapaperbag> because guys dominate the chatrooms
<Ishtardances> oh....I just figured they would be intimidated
by my large cock.
<slapahoewitapaperbag>...you are that same girl I just cybered
with right?

<shervin> Am I the only one that thinks Leela, the girl on
Futurama, would be really hot if she had 2 eyes?
<shervin> i'd bone her if she wore sunglasses

<muted> i dont like slackware
<Zephyrous> muted: what are you on?
<Accipiter> Zephyrous >> Crack, apparently.
<muted> suse

<Temujin> aight
<Hydrac7> it suprised me that Temujin would use "Aight"
<Hydrac7> Temujin using "aight" has crushed my will to live.
<Temujin> I live in Indiana, I have to fit in somehow.
<Temujin> I can't fake being retarded, so saying "a'ight" has
to suffice.

<Sumez> Q3 arena test
<Aximili> What is it?
<Sumez> don't you know what Quake is?!?
<Aximili> YES, I know what Quake is
<Aximili> But 'Q3' could have stood for 'Quicktime 3' as far
as I know
<Sumez> Quicktime 3 arena :P
<SpyFrog> but isn't quicktime up in version 4?
<Sumez> Spy: not the multiplayer version :)

<Arrgh> futhermore, the DMV shall be refered to from this
point on as "the dank troll pit"
<Arkangel> agreed
<Arkangel> There are many interesting specimens of the lower
caste of the human race residing there.
<Arrgh> the last time i was there, i overheard this: "no,
thats not a saxaphone, its a fire extinguisher"
<Arkangel> lol
<Arkangel> I was there three weeks ago and I saw a women who
looked straight out of "Killer Klowns from Outer Space"
<Arrgh> !
<Arrgh> you should have asked for her autograph
<Arkangel> pink hair
<Arkangel> reverse mohawk
<Arkangel> pig tails
<Arkangel> horrid make-up
<Arkangel> at least she looked happy!
<Arrgh> "i loved you in killer klowns! can you sign this for
me?!"
<Arkangel> *women proceeds to eat me*

<GreyPawn> My friend Dan once woke up screaming because his
nuts got twisted around each other.

<novocain> so i have a "lesbian hot tub party to go to next
weekend
<JFalcon> novocain, good for you, did you make sure they have
running water?
<novocain> its my wife's lesbian friends

<Ifrit> Hey H-fan?
<H-fan2002> hmmm?
<Ifrit> Have you heard it?
<H-fan2002> what?
<Ifrit> Have you heard it?
<H-fan2002> heard what?
<Ifrit> Have you heard the jokes they don't tell fags?
*** Cybil has joined #digiartistsdomain
<H-fan2002> no
<Ifrit> ......
* Ifrit stifles laughter
<H-fan2002> fuck of ifrit
<Ifrit> :D

[@Jimlad] http://am-i-pregnant.com/homeinse.shtml
[@Jimlad] uhm ok
[@Jimlad] you didn't see that.
º @Jimlad quickly puts something else on his clipboard

<MEGA-Shrike> lat you off my xmas card list
<MEGA-Shrike> you now on another list
<LatinoReheat> list of "Who to make love to before im 30"?
<MEGA-Shrike> THE LIST OF ALMIGHTY PUNISHMENT, PAIN, DEATH AND
GENERAL NASTINESS
<LatinoReheat> so shrike, the "Who to make love to before im
30"? then

<^Syke^> MAKES ME WANT TO COMMIT SUICIDE
<^Syke^> :'(
<nelixx> dude
<nelixx> do it on webcam

<[29th]ZueX> im gonna play ww2ol....lata
[29th]ZueX [[email protected]] has quit IRC
(Quit: Eeets got cheekan legs)
<Buchwald> i'm gonna go play
<Buchwald> "i hate my fucking job and it doesn't pay enough"
<Buchwald> it's a new game where i want to kill myself from
9-5
<Buchwald> and then when i get home and look at the bills, i
want to kill myself
<Buchwald> it's a pretty realistic game
<Buchwald> characters are kinda boring though
<Buchwald> hm... i'm talking to myself again huh

<Vod> that sentence is even more screwed up than even mine
usual are

DDR Takumi: Search for 'Social Life' returned 0 results.
DDR Takumi: bah, what now

<iMike> well so long as your penis is alright
<D1> whats a penis without hands???