bash.org archive

<Birdzii> i've got this fucked rash all over my body
<Morbii> heh
* Slander takes a step back from birdsigh
<Birdzii> heh
<Birdzii> sore throat + rash
<Morbii maybe you're allergic to masturbation
<Morbii> jkjk ;P
<Birdzii> I would have been dead long ago then

<PsychoOne> I found the coolest tshirt for my friend today
<PsychoOne> I am getting it for his birthday. he'll hate me
forever.
<PsychoOne> he is gay
<PsychoOne> and the shirt I am getting him reads "Sorry girls,
I suck dick"

<rohirrim-not-a-mofo> i have to go now
<rohirrim-not-a-mofo> toodloo
<rohirrim-not-a-mofo> au revoir
<rohirrim-not-a-mofo> aufwierdershen
<rohirrim-not-a-mofo> chin chow tay
* rohirrim-not-a-mofo was kicked by Sarumatt||Lurking (Or just
plain "Goodbye.")

*** sCHrAnZeR has joined #jungle
<sCHrAnZeR> ok is that Polish room ?
<EllesDee> you mean  this  room?
<EllesDee> yeah
<EllesDee> we're all polish
<EllesDee> but disguised cause no one likes us
<sCHrAnZeR> czemu nikt nie lubi Was ?
<sCHrAnZeR> :)
<EllesDee> DISGUISE MAN!
<EllesDee> speak english, people should think we're ordinary
<EllesDee> otherwise the undercover will blow up and we'll all
get k-lined
<sCHrAnZeR> oh I didn't know
<EllesDee> hmm..
<EllesDee> gee
<sCHrAnZeR> I'm not good in mIRC
*** sCHrAnZeR has quit IRC

<timmo> which sucks because
<timmo> sometimes you forget the thing behind the sn
<timmo> is a fucking ugly troll
<timmo> you start thinking youre talking to a person and shit

<unlord> you are now talking to a man who owns a piece of
furniture for the express purpose of sleeping on it
<Animix> oooooooooooh
<Animix> can I have your autograph

<[Smoke]> "Every gay club in the world owns one and only one
CD, a disc entitled "TRANCE-A-HOLIC TECHNO BEAT CLUB HAPPYCORE
TRANCE NATION DRUMSTEP BIG BEAT DISCO REMIX FEVER." This CD
has three tracks, all of which have the same four-on-the-floor
rhythm that loops for roughly 100 minutes and is accompanied
by a woman moaning, "ooohhhh ahhhh oowwweeeeee!" at random
intervals while a $199 Roland "DJ In a Box" synth plays up to
three different minor chords"
<NrgSpoon> ph33r the Real Folk Blues chiptune
<[Smoke]> "Homosexuals love this CD; it's like turning on a
porch light and watching the waves of June Bugs and moths fly
in and and start making out with each other."
<NrgSpoon> damn. i think my comment got sandwiched into gay
sex
<NrgSpoon> it was so young, too.

<sikory> hmmm, people found a severed head in amsterdam
<sikory> police thinks that it might be connected to the
headless body they found yesterday
<Gamah> sikory: well obviously it's not connected...

<sirex> is there an enlightenment key sequence to run a
command without a shell?
<Ralp> Probably
<sirex> thanks ralp
<Ralp> I'm here to help!
<Ralp> Wait, no I'm not, I'm here to avoid the drudgery of my
real life and wallow in denial.

<NES> In about 1-3 grades we used to have long peeing
competitions
<NES> To see who could continue peeing while taking steps back
from the urinal
<NES> Those bathrooms were a damn mess, hahe
<Kufat> NES I would like to remind you that your GIRLFRIEND is
in this CHANNEL at this time.
<NES> shit, you're right

<Gabooz> I wouldn't say I'm a geek
<Steve> You live at a computer, and claim you know your IP,
but not your home phone #
<Steve> You're a geek

<][blah][> i mean, are there any downloadble cd burners?, or
do you need hardware?

*** [ric] is now known as reign
*** reign is now known as [ric]
<[ric]> heh... mental note... try /whois instead of /nick next
time

<ian__> Am I gay?
<qin> yes.
<ian__> ahhhh
<ian__> i knew something wasn't quite right

<fuckin`eh> If you think your cool CLICK HERE!
<JtHM> fuckin`eh: nothing happened when I clicked :(

<hoolar> i haf to go in to the doctor to get my colon examed
tommorow
<tReMeR> At least its not a anal exam!
<tReMeR> o wait..

<td> i use my webcam as a mirror
<td> i dont have a mirror
<td> :|
<td> damn i am a geek

<Rayt> I blame Jesus for everything
<Shu> I BLAME IT ALL ON ALLAH.
<Rayt> Allah is kewl in my book
<Rayt> If you can convince people to blow themself up in your
name, you've done well in life

<NicNac`> well, i heard that looks could kill
* NicNac` looks at sexmen
*** Quits: sexmen (Ping timeout)
<NicNac`> !!
<Amaltea> WOAH!!!
[11:50] <Amaltea> a killer look!

(Klynx) Are you sure you're running linux, Oliverglass? is
there a start menu on the bottom left of your screen? ;)
(Oliverglass) Klynx: yeah why?
(One-) Oliverglass: what desktop environment?
(Oliverglass) One-: What do you mean
(Oliverglass) uh
(subgeek) Gnome?
(ke1th) GNOME?
(Oliverglass) XP or something

<Model_Atheist> I want a fucking girlfriend.
<CuriousGrugg> None of those non-fucking girlfriends, huh?

<Alien> I believe our girls' softball team had something about
them never being loose or something on their shirts ... they
misspelled lose with HILARIOUS RESULTS.

<Squall^> does she looks like a japanese anime?
<LStranger> Sorta.
<Squall^> then go fuck her up
<LStranger> I'd like to.
<LStranger> Two problems... I have a girlfriend, and I haven't
even talked to her yet.
<Gage> two solutions, cheating and rape

(|Kore|): whats the best webcam to get lads?
(DawnRazor): to get lads you'll need breasts

<@Catgirl> The three stages of Catgirl hating: #1) "FUCK YOU
I'M RIGHT YOU'RE WRONG" #2) "FUCK YOU I BET YOU'RE NOT A GIRL"
#3) "FUCK YOU" *ban* PM: "I'd like to fuck you."

<nexxai> man, I love having hookups
<MTrez> found someone who works in an abnormally large dildo
factory?

<GOD> whats next on my list?
<GOD> ah yes
* moogle has quit IRC (Ping timeout)

* Kurayamino chews on 3DSmax
<Kurayamino> it knows i'm gonna replace it with version 6, i
swear to my lack of fucking god.
<Kurayamino> max5: "whats this cunt downloading? holy shit!
max6!" max6: "muah hah hah, bow to me, for i am superior and
you will be deleted" max5: "fuck this. lets CRASH TO DESKTOP
at RANDOM INTERVALS for NO FUCKING APPARANT REASON!"

<karl> becouse hetersexual impersonaters are in reality none
sexuals becouse they lie about there sexualidentity and there
fore dont use there true sexuality whatever that may be hence
there nothing real just bull shit talking with no truthful
axctions
<mobius> I hate to sound like your Dad's boyfriend, but what
the hell did you just say Karl?

* terra melts JDigital
* JDigital melts
* JDigital respawns, and is quickly telefragged by a newbie

<Vada> is it bad when you are at work and someone that is
being rude says something to you and you all of a sudden see
YOU FRAGGED SOANDSO about their head?

<Skitzo> fuck my image, i get off on huge horse wangs inside
of human female vaginas
<Skitzo> esp when they fill with cum and it gushes out
<Skitzo> yeah
<Skitzo> bestiality :D
<Skitzo> this is what happens when you go to church as a child
and attend christian private schools, folks
<Skitzo> <--------- end result

<HomesickAlien> 17" iMac - that's like having a nine inch
penis but being impotent

[WorkDeed] bahahaha
[WorkDeed] I just heard someone say "I measured the thermal
conductivity of one of my loogies and..."
[KArmA-] isn't Berkley cool?

<sysrq> 10 mins till next period
<Nitronium> till your next period?
<sysrq> im in school heh
<Nitronium> shit, better get home quick then!

<ANTIDEAD> I had a dream last night that I met you in real
life, so we dressed up as zoro and smuggled drugs over the
mexican border
<ANTIDEAD> Perhaps I should lay off the burritos

<largo[mt]> "I'm so mis-understood.." .. "So ill wear all
black, get really pale, read anne rice novels, and bite my
boyfriend until he bleeds."

<ICEMAN|SmurF> I wish my girlfriend went down as much as
gamesnet

<holgie> One day a husband and wife were in the bathroom,The
wife was getting out of the shower   and the husband grabs her
boobs and says "If these were firmer you wouldn`t need a bra."
The wife was repulsed by his behavior and ignores him. The
next week the two are again in the bathroom and while the wife
was getting out of the shower he grabs her ass and says "If
your ass was firmer you wouldn`t need a girdle." The wife is
now pissed and is ploting her revenge. One day a week later
the husband is getting out of the shower and the wife grabs
his dick and says "If this was a little bit bigger I wouldn`t
need your brother."

<Floach-> I guess DDoS is like a network bukkake? :)

<Eckostyle> any girls want sex? send me a message privately
<Eckostyle> fuck, my mom saw me type that

<Twister> vim is great, but I honestly need an editor that can
delete lines.

*** Suicidal_Bear is now known as The_Clodu
<True_Yoshi> ...
<The_Clodu> yeah, foo'
<The_Clodu> I AM... THE CLODU!!
<True_Yoshi> LOL
<The_Clodu> You dare laugh at the Clodu?!
<The_Clodu> prepare to be punished!!!
<True_Yoshi> No.
*** The_Clodu sets mode: +o True_Yoshi
<The_Clodu> I have taken away that which makes you special!
Now, you are merely a pawn with a danish!
<True_Yoshi> ...
<True_Yoshi> O....kay....

<Joe_> I got arrested by a school poice officer.
<Joe_> Up until I was sitting in Juvi for a couple hours, I
was being illegaly detained.
<Joe_> Heh.. last time I try to ditch school to take a shit.
<Joe_> From now on, I'm shitting in my locker. Let them find
THAT the next time they do a random search.
<Joe_> I can see it now. A stare down. Me, with my pants down.
The cop, nose covered, gun drawn.

<orion> the cube is but an infant
<orion> soon it will be flexing and thinking about cubettes
<orion> noticing files in weird places
<orion> experiencing new and unusual programs and applications
<Guilty> MY GOD WE MUST KILL IT NOW

(|Chris) bang her and change your phone number

<Sharkey> When you talk to your cactus at the end of the quest
he says "He got hard?"
<kill> at least you wouldn't have to water a cactus
<kill> it's pretty low-maintenance, if you got one
<Starchild> That's my ideal adopted kid. One you don't have to
water or feed.
<kill> you just have to cloth it
<DigiGnome> And you don't even have to do that, as long as you
don't let it out of its room.

<D-viant> it's not like her ass is caked in shit
<D-viant> and it's not like I'm sticking my tongue IN her ass

*** Quits: nanm (Quit: Unable to join #real_life (You're
banned))

<Jered> you should have to stand on a scale to get fries
<Jered> "must be at least this thin to eat"

<@Pk_L_Kim> It makes you not die
<@Pk_L_Kim> which is like the best part of eating

<@Rune[Somewhere]> the guy playing SC played until his heart
gave out
<@Rune[Somewhere]> I think dying playing a computer game is
the single most embarressing way to enter the afterlife
<@Rune[Somewhere]> "So, what happened to you?" "Oh, shark
attack, you?" ".......Battlenet"
<@Rune[Somewhere]> the guy playing CS died from starvation and
sleep deprivation
<@skold> CS gives you fucking 5 minute breaks every 2 minutes
<@skold> youd think he could grab a snack
<@Rune[Somewhere]> no kidding

<Koult> ah yes, but fat people are harder to kidnap

<_Rojo_> I want to compile her kernel
<_Rojo_> christ
<_Rojo_> computer-geek foreplay

Anonymous: I once sort-of-stalked a girl like this. It was all
going great, she opened up her ThinkPad, loaded up Debian etc.
I was seriously considering telling her I love her but then
she opened Opera and I walked away disappointed.

<Goemon> There is no good mp3 trading programs now.
<maff> sure there are
<maff> ftp.
<Goemon> I tried that.\
<Goemon> In order to get name/password I had to sign up for
porn.

(rusty): You know....
(rusty): Those police officers must have had this happen to
them....
(rusty): Cop: We have a red blur going pass us at -ERR MPH on
the speed radar... please advise

<Cuban Atlas> See, Zeir, FD is smart..He ops himself the
moment he enters
<FD> This way I can abuse the power faster
<Polo> That's the American way
<FD> Damn right

<kisama> my playlist is full of essential mixes
<var> essential to what?   your pursuit of perfected queendom?

<ZeroZerv> I need condoms, but I dont want to go to a store to
pick some up
<ZeroZerv> i'm timid
<aNuBiS-> ZeroZerv: timidly pull out
<Dildosaur> ZeroZerv: get some JB Weld, about a 1/4" ball, and
shove it down your penile hole, wait for 3 hours
<ZeroZerv> wtf is that
<Dildosaur> that should do
<ZeroZerv> does that work?

<Slant> I'm adding "Masturbation" to my HotOrNot profiile.
<Slant> Hopefully this will reduce the number of matches I've
been getting lately.
<Slant> Or it'll hook me up with a woman I can truly
appreciate. ;-)

<Ed> P2 Celeron was good though, because it used the same slot
as the P3.
<Mime> P3 has two different slots!
<Mime> I had a SNES game style P3, my mate had a flat one.
<Ed> Mime, that's a socket.
<waffle> Mime: you mean a slot and socket
<Mime> Yes, socket and slot.
<waffle> amd really loved the slot
<kawaii_kekekeke> I love that slot.
<Mime> I love your mom's slot
<waffle> your moms a slot

Justin: fred got a new motherboard
Justin: bbl, geekhuddle

<sampson> twisted my fuckin ankle...don't go to riots in
birkenstocks
<sampson> they aren't good rioting shoes

<loretian> They'd say "wow, look at this cute kid with a
broken leg. Can't even walk around. That's so cute! I wonder
what his dick tastes like"

<cardinal> huh, a friend of mine pissed in his girlfriend's
typewriter
<cardinal> under similar circumstances
<alayna> :blink:
<cardinal> drunk, needing to pee, didn't want to turn on the
light, found
<cardinal> the "bathroom" door, found the "toilet", opened the
lid,
<cardinal> pissed, couldn't find the flusher, went back to bed
<cardinal> discovered the next morning he'd opened the wrong
door, and
<cardinal> found the typewriter, not the toilet, which
explains the lack
<cardinal> of flush lever
<Deke> and the *ding* when he finished
<cardinal> all I could say when he told me the story was "Good
thing it
<cardinal> wasn't a Selectric"

<AlmtyBob> I gotta go to the doc for my shoulder anyways so I
might as well hit him up for some prozac

<SarahS> With my large internal capacity to hold water, and
your creative igeniuty, we can rule the world!

*** Joins: bowswer ([email protected])
[20:38] * Freshbrew jumps over bowswers head, and pulls the
key on the other side of the bridge and laughes manically as
he watches bowswer fall into the 8-bit lava