bash.org archive

(/query)
<ThaMax> Do you want to marry me?
<Cheetara> Who are you ?
<ThaMax> Sorry, you helped me out on #linux once.

<xeiro> O_6: what does updating your kernel actaully do
<O_6> xeiro, gets me the chicks

<Kevyn> I lent my friend money last nite so he could get a lap
dance from a stripper. And he just said to me on AIM, "hey,
thanks for the lap dance"
<Kevyn> I'm so glad people can't overhear conversations on
AIM.

<LemmingAFK> I wasn't bothered by people calling me Lemming in
real life, until girls started yelling it during sex.

<Merl>: So I suppose you're going to change the world, huh?
Make it a pure Utopia with no war
<Merl>: hunger or pain?
<lyndak>: I would love to change the world, but they won't
give me the source code.

<Cozma> if i had breasts i'd sit around and feel them all day
<Cozma> oh wait
* Cozma bbl.

<Reeve> Every freaking time I ask for a Big Kid's Meal at this
one Burger King they give me a Kid's Meal
<Reeve> WHERE'S THE BIG YOU COCKSUCKERS?!
<Elmina> The big is in your pants.
<Reeve> Damn right it is
<Reeve> But I'd appreciate it if it could also be in my burger
once in a while
<Elmina> Reevey wants to have sex with burgers! :>

<x182ways> 4*7= 28, 28+2=20 dumbass

<Omega> why do your parents hate you
<Rai> they dont like it that I never come home... I've become
somewhat of a drifter of late, till I work things out with
airlines/bus
<Rai> I travel to friends houses on my bike, up and down the
highway and sleep where I can
<Rai> its fun
<Omega> lol
<Omega> so your a hobo
<Rai> we prefer to be called "domestically challenged"

<@Awt> 15 years for 3066 counts of accessory to murder? WTF
<XDice> yeh, he missed that 3,067th strike law.
<frash> hahaha

<@FrozenShade> Customer: "What kind of ink cartidges do I need
for this scanner?"

<Hackster> oh, i crack me up.
<lophyte> you crack me up too
<lophyte> *snuggles close to Hackster*
<lophyte> ;)
<Hackster> really.
<Hackster> awww. *lick*
<lophyte> yay :D
<p1asm1c> get a dcc chat you two

<fagg0t> I need no ignore list...I'm quite capable of ignoring
people with my BRAIN

<xNichG> 'when nuclear weapons... attack.'
<xNichG> next on fox
<Darwin> seriously?
<xNichG> no

Wan Xion: last night I created an array search that is O(log
base 4 n) I wonder if it's been done before
KarpenkoSoup: Probably.
Wan Xion: yeah
Wan Xion: it's s simple concept
Wan Xion: you just use 3 pivots
KarpenkoSoup: There are people who fuck chickens. I'm pretty
sure someone's written a search with O(log base 4 n) runtime.

<cyo> everytime i try to tell my parents that i have a
girlfriend they start to walk away
<cyo> i swear they want me to be gay or something

<crispexi> I guess I have to settle for internet pirate.
Yarrr, sail the seven ISPs.

<jas0n> man im a geek
<jas0n> im trying to find the RGB value of my hair

<Embercide> i was doing 3 things at once, went to take the
smoke out and it must have stuck to my lip and flipped up
<Embercide> i must have just closed my eye in time cause the
eye itself isnt damaged
<Avatar> who'd've thought a cigarette could be so dangerous?
<Scourge> Not only do they cause numerous cancers and other
lung problems but they can also burn your eyes.

<@Amitlu> errr
<@Amitlu> i mean do
<SpeedyPhoenix> do who?
<SpeedyPhoenix> >.>
<@Amitlu> -_-
* @Amitlu gives Speedy a black guy
<@Amitlu> eye*
<@Amitlu> If you quote me, I'll kill you >.<

<MarZi^> what are you doing on Quakenet if you dont play
Counterstrike?

<samurai> need to finish this crap for school but I can't get
it done... any help here?
<taleweaver> sure... what do you need?
<samurai> whats the opposite of eloquence?
<taleweaver> george w. bush?

<norsende> º dj aligator project - Water In The Ocean º
<roskkouro> water in the ocean. what a stupid, obvious fucking
sentance!
<roskkouro> IF THERE WERE NO WATER IN THE OCEAN! THERE
WOULD'NT BE NO
OCEAN! EINSTEIN!
<quoz|beer> roskkouro: hey, he's iranian
<quoz|beer> roskkouro: besides, on triton you have oceans of
methane
<roskkouro> quoz: bitch

<StephHauth> why the fuck did my nick have OWNED at the end? i
ddnt put that!!!!

<Graphic_V> Remember when you turned 18 and you could finally
start looking at those naked people on the internet?

<Superf0Rk> you're cute.. i'd do you :D
<Superf0Rk> i'd do my bed if it had a hole in it too but
anyways..

Gig103: on the BMW 745i, you can get "Active front seats with
gentle massage action"
Gig103: for $74000 i should get a blowjob every time i get in
the car
moe99j5: yeah but you'd ruin the leather upholstery
Gig103: no for $74000 she would swallow it all

<CursedBurger> i hate it when i'm watching some good porn and
the entire clip's ruined because one of the guys has a mullet

ZacCichy: or why is it I can't find a chick
ZacCichy: younger than 15!?
ZacCichy: :-(
ZacCichy: OLDER I MEAN

<@i386> NEXT Year, me, skool. pointelss educational films.
susicide
<BenZor> Dude
<BenZor> if you spell like that, it isnt pointless.

<barkode> it's all about getting drunk at defcon, and waking
up the next morning in a ditch, with a TRS-80, a wireless
modem, a
sombero, a pair of high heels, an angry midget and you're
dressed like a mariachi.

<NES> what?
<NES> the pope can't have sex with ANYTHING?

Number 3 Rugger: bitch fuck 1080
onkeybutt87: is that a skateboard trick?

<fstorm> i'd wonder if bill gates can win the presidency, with
all his money and such
<Cybe> NOOOOO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!!!
<Cybe> dude.....the government would crash and have to be
rebooted like 6 times a day
<Cybe> not to mention all the security issues

<@Kyoushu_Yatou> Hey Saka, or Paul.. someone.. I need a boy
<@Kyoushu_Yatou> bot
<@Kyoushu_Yatou> **
<@Kyoushu_Yatou> >_<

<Skywarp> Someone needs to shave zophars head and use his hair
as experimental flac vest material

<Reiko> girl who sit on judges lap, get honorable discharge

<KINGofEXTREME> i forgot cars come in manual man
<KINGofEXTREME> my friend starts changing gears
<KINGofEXTREME> im like what are you doing
<KINGofEXTREME> didnt know what was going on

<sparc5> how does a guy become a porn star?
<sparc5> that's what I wana find out
<Rhelic> sparc5: have at least 8inches and 4inches girth
<Rhelic> sparc5: and you usually pay them to be in the first
few
<eggo> or family business
<sparc5> Rehlic: pay???
<thinkmad> may you all catch this horrible disease and suffer
<Rhelic> sparc5: its easy to find any guy to fuk some hot pron
star
<sparc5> damn

<Blackmail> I should get a realdoll
<Blackmail> imagine me applying for a loan for that from my
bank "yeah, I need a love doll"
<tobdude> LOL
<zerox> I'm sure you could get a realdoll on ebay for half the
price
<Blackmail> ew, a used one
<Blackmail> and not made the way I want it either
<zerox> is this the one you want Blackmail
<zerox> http://www.realdoll.com/maledoll1.html
<aNuBiS-> hahah
<Blackmail> I want a she-he-doll
<tobdude>  thats so wrong
<CanOfSpam> We're long overdue for an Oprah doll
<Blackmail> UPS won't take anything that heavy
<CanOfSpam> oh

<Kiko> I love you guys
<@mjau> we love you too kiko
<@mjau> dude, kiko... isnt that a type of soy sauce
<@mjau> KIKOMAN
<@mjau> hehehe
<@mjau> salty yet delicious
<Kiko> Thats what SHE said
<Kiko> :)

<Kanitaria> ugh codi has a penis injury right now and can't
have sex or masturbate and hes gettin really fuckin bitchy lol
<Kanitaria> plus hes not helping with any of the dishes or
laundry this week cause im home he figures i'll do it all
<Kanitaria> fml
<random4t4x14> Kanitaria: what the hell did he do to his
penis?
<GCNinja> so that ^^^^^^^^^^
<Gollom> Masturbated too hard?
<GCNinja> dick punch?
<Gollom> Tried to ride a bannister down the stairs but
misjudged?
<GCNinja> modify the cowboy position?
<Gollom> Naked jumping jacks infront of a hungry dog?
<random4t4x14> drunk masterbated, stood up and fell over on
it?
<GCNinja> did you staple it to his stomach?
<random4t4x14> penacne?
<Kanitaria> he did it to himself, i didn't do anything
<GCNinja> mis alligned chisity belt?
<GCNinja> chastity*
<random4t4x14> vasectomy?
<Kanitaria> he grabbed a shitty condom last week and it caused
to much  much friction and he tore his frenulum then the other
day he thought he was good to go and it made3 it worse
<Gollom> Stuck it in a pencil sharpener "just to see what it's
like"

<the_Speed_Bump> I can't imagine a conversation that covers
both philosophy and shit without being terribly disjointed.
<the_Speed_Bump> "So, what do you think of God?" "I just took
the hugest shit ever!"

<fraggle> get in trouble?
<Afterglow> fraggle: getting in trouble because you look like
elton john, of course
<fraggle> yeah they're always disappointed when they find i
cant play candle in the wind
<fraggle> "so.. we measure the voltage across.... wait is that
elton john back there? can you play us a song?"

<@Lurker> live pics from baghdad on cnn
<@Lurker> nothing happening
<schitzo> nope nothing going on
<@Lurker> We should just go to an iraqi irc channel and when
they ping out the war is on

<clemmy> DarkFader: warning! reading of this line triggers a
hidden routine in your brain and you will forget some of the
information stored there
<clemmy> DF: it worked, right?
<Costis> cl, ahahahahahahahaha
<DarkFader> what did work?
<clemmy> DF: I knew it would
<Costis> cl, ahahahaha! good joke :D
<DarkFader> WHAT?

<TheCross> anybody up for a bible triva game ?
<Angel1289> I'll play trivia.
<JeremiahSmith> "What was Jesus' middle name?"
<Noah> Fucking.
<Consul> H
<Noah> Right? Jesus Fucking Christ?
<TheCross> gtg
<TheCross> later
*** TheCross ([email protected])
has left #bar

<\Gadget\> I have cable and my mom just handed me an AOL CD to
see if we could get the internet to go faster.

<Weng> If one were to download every piece of porn on the
internet, paysites and all, and remove the duplicates, how
many 120 gig hard drives would he have to span?
<Cray0la> hmm
<NaiWiste> a lot
<Weng> including gay, kiddie, fetish and assorted other
disgusting variations
<NaiWiste> i'de say. at least 200gb for kiddie pr0n
<Weng> only 200?
<Snickerdo> Wang: Maxtor and WD would get into a bidding war
over you, that's how much.
<Weng> Cool. Time to put this 56k pipe to work

(Sarojin) Haha nice, I got referred to the Jews for the
Preservation of Firearms Ownership by askjeeves.com, and the
banner on the top said across it "WHY PAY RETAIL!?"

Americanyankee: True or False? I have a really big penis...
who ever gets the right answer gets 500gil
Cookiemonster: False
Ziegfried: false
Tyechmo: haha looks like your out 1000 gil

<+TheKid> Quake is just IRC with rocket launchers.

<drunkers> is your real name gabe?
<Gabe-33> yes
<drunker> ever concider killing your parents with a shovel?
<Gabe-33> no
<drunker> concider it

<mjvh> stupid loose ethernet connection.
<Turbonutter> ducktape
<Turbonutter> ducktape is the answer to all life's problems
<Turbonutter> like beer. except ducktape rarely causes them in
the first place.
<zx64> ducktape is merely a physical manifestation of regexps
<Turbonutter> it can do anything but is a pain in the arse to
use?

<StrScream> jeremy: as long as you're going postal, can you
find out why I haven't gotten any mail for 3 days?

<EvilNekoSpork> You know, it's a bad sign when you hear a loud
crash and the build process you were watching take place via
SSH on another machine abruptly stops... and the other SSH
session freezes... brb.

*** CSGpunk
([email protected]) has
joined #winprog
<CSGpunk> anyone live in raleigh, nc and know where i can get
drugs

* `Glenn scribbles on Illy's face with a washable marker while
she is away.
<Lightspeed> Glenn prob seen too much Pokemon....
<BraveFencer> .... No, but by the fact you connected that to
Pokemon, maybe YOU have.

<sd> my mom got pissed at me today
<sd> I was wearing the "the axe effect" and it must have
turned her on, because she told me to leave the room and stay
away from her =/

Ademska: ....okay so is P. Diddy now just Diddy?
honestly x okay: I have no clue
honestly x okay: I can't follow all his names
Ademska: first he was Sean "Puffy" Combs, then Puff Daddy,
then P Diddy, now Diddy
Ademska: next he is just going to be a syllable
Ademska: "Duh"

<Daishi> ...
<Daishi> there should really be a "-" like there is a "+" on
irc
<Daishi> too let people know they suck

<Veen> if someone said they were 50% gay, would that probably
insinuate that they are bi?
<quatoria> It would insinuate they want you to blow them.

<rmalink> are you feeling any better?
<dep01> no... not really..
<rmalink> you know what it is?  allergies...
<dep01> no, you know what it is?  the crippling depression..

<<UT> ho//\rzd> just an option:
<<UT> ho//\rzd>  you tell me where your sentence ends, that
would help. ;D
<F3AR | Bailey> i
<F3AR | Bailey> broke
<F3AR | Bailey> my
<F3AR | Bailey> space
<F3AR | Bailey> bar
<F3AR | Bailey> lol

<@mike> i think what we all want to know, orion, is whether
the ice cream truck hit the kid
<@orion> unfortunately not
<@orion> it was just some kids screaming after the missed
creamy treat opportunity

<AvatarADV> Condensed version: "How the hell did his KNIGHTS
shoot down my strategic bombers?!"
<ShadowLotus> LOL
<meep_meep> lol. catapults

<CharCoal69> am I the only one who puts special plugs in all
my outlets so that the electricity doesn't leak out?

(lo^fi) ok who thinks the "burning schoolhouse" that comes in
boxes of fireworks sux ass
(tiko) bill: I do
(dawly) me too :)
(superdave) bill you just have to soak it with gas first

<arabella> when i was about 20, old enough not to be, i got
sent away from the table to my room for saying, "So today in
lab we put dog testes in the blender and then," and that's as
far as i got.