bash.org archive

<JPierre> Helping noobs on IRC who refuse to listen is an
all-too-common waste of time.
<biznatch> It's like you have this talking horse
and the talking horse says "I'm thirsty"
then you lead the horse to some water
and it still won't drink.
<PVicky> Simple solution: slaughter it for the meat.

(Pulse): did u know it was part of dayly life in egypt to wank
(cypheh): its part of my daily life too
(Pulse): aye
(senn): same

<me|sleep> Friends, let me regale you with a story of my past
and enlighten you with wisdom far beyond the reach of your
feeble minds...
*** Signoff: me|sleep (Excess Flood)

<Nani-chan> hey folks, can we keep it semi clean right now? my
parents might be watching and i dont wanna get in trouble
<Nani-chan> crack: 14 y.o girl, you  dumbass cockless bitch
<RikisuuDelta> quite hypocritical if you ask me

[Synoptica] Just when you thought porn spam couldn't stoop any
lower...
[Synoptica] 'DOGFART SLUTS!'

<LrdZombie> So last night my sister comes in and wants to
borrow a dvd.  She goes "What do you have that I'd like?" and
i go, "Well, I got Goonies, Dark Crystal, and Adventures of
Baron Munchausen."  She goes "I just saw goonies.  Which is
better, dark crystal or baron munchausen?"
<_Shorty> haha
<LrdZombie> "Do you want to sleep tonight?"  "Yes."  *hands
her baron munchausen.*
<blazemore> tsk tsk.. laughing before the punch line

Osaka> There's no room to be deppressed anymore.
Osaka> I'd angst, but you'd all go to the "Emo" routine.
Osaka> What am I to do, bottle my emotions?
CodenameROFL> yes.
Osaka> ...
Osaka> Teh world = Teh suck
CodenameROFL> YOU'RE NOT BOTTLING!!!!
Osaka> Code, you suck.
CodenameROFL> :P
CodenameROFL> I know
Osaka> Well, suck elsewhere.
CodenameROFL> ...
CodenameROFL> If I could do that, do you think I'd be lurking
on the internet?
Osaka> Nuff said.

(@^duckman^) shit i ate soap brb

<Xney> how goes the job search?
<Stemish> xeeneee....it'll go, once i start it :)
<Xney> oh you haven't started?
<Stemish> not seriously, i'm not hurting yet
<Xney> brian: You should start way early.. it's quite ugly :)
<fouts> no shit. one company i applied to went out of business
between posting
the ad and my email to them

<mD5> i thought everything on the internet was aol

<n3wt> FFS, I am not reading anything with 'The Naughty Goat'
in the title
<n3wt> Not unless it has pictures, anyway

(bigwurm) if your concerned about the ammount of cpu time an
onboard sound card uses, you should really get a new cpu +
mobo
(@|-ZenitH-|) or a life

<rivvah> dude, he's from montana or some shit. 17.50 would buy
a new house
<Ouroboros> What's a house?

<RedRabbit> guys does os/2 mean only half an operating system
?

{TSL}-{Capo>School crams the giant cock of knowledge down your
throat.

-MemoServ- DALnet would like to recommend that you exercise
some standard password security precautions and regularly
change your password(s). Please remember that it is your
responsibility to remember your password(s).
<Huz> Hey, is that news post DALnet code for "We got hax0red
and someone saw everyone's passwords"? :)

<DAL9000> you've never called me dustin before
<DAL9000> you sick?
<Guilty> I bet you thought you had a decent name until Saved
by the Bell's Dustin Diamond came "screeching" in

<Bryan> I need to find some vanilla cock to drink...

<@patm> monty die and go to hell now please
<Monty> url?

<Phuser> Someone asked me if I knew what time it was today
<Phuser> I said, Yes, but not right now.

<Spooky42> my uncle took off his shoes and it instantly filled
the room with a strong odor of sweatyballs rubbed with
parmesan cheese.
<ZippyOne> oh, that's not me then
<Spooky42> haha
<Spooky42> god..
<Spooky42> its stinks so bad
<Spooky42> sigh
<Spooky42> i WAS eating.. now im not and cant breathe
<ZippyOne> got some air freshener?
<DarkPhan> <Spooky42> my uncle took off his shoes and it
instantly filled the room with a strong odor of sweatyballs
rubbed with parmesan cheese. <-- uhm... just how do you know
what that smells like?
<Spooky42> lets just say i have an unpopular scratch and sniff
book
<Spooky42> and dont ask why i scrathed the 'sweatyballs rubbed
with parmesan cheese' sticker.
<ZippyOne> you were tired, and it was next to strawberry
<Spooky42> across the page from runny baby poop

<dine-sa> no it won't MoP, amusment park jobs actually suck
<dine-sa> I had a friend who worked at six flags all summer.
<SA-MoP> dine had a friend! *dies* :D
<SA-Metathrom> Hehe
<dine-sa> :P it was before I had a modem
<SA-MoP> lol ok

<ccowboy> @chanserv took over my chat-room!

<MaxPower> so I'm on this ftp site today
<thammy> haha
<thammy> that sounds like the beginning of a bad geek joke

<Rorschach`> Idiocy is the default state of all IRC channels. 
It takes a great deal of effort to raise the level of things
to only moderately moronic.

<RushMore> I had a hendrix video playing on the computer and
my dad goes in. I go "Watch this"
<RushMore> guess what he said
<RushMore> "Is that hendrix? i didnt know he was black"

<DarkDawg> hrm
<DarkDawg> somethign doesn;t seem right...
<Xplosive> the spelling of 'something' and 'doesn't'?
<fukdis> ahahaha

<Elpacoloco> Seriously! Your voice is...uhm....
<Elpacoloco> Words fail me, but I'd pay $3.99 a minute for it.
<TheTourist|away> ELp, refering to phone sex is NOT romantic.

<GoodScrat> my gf is twice your age
<db-x> goodscrat, twice is about the time i get her in a week
<GoodScrat> to do what, change your diaper?

<PYRoTkNiX> i dont look at naked horses

<toxic> i found out about lesbians in 6th grade
<toxic> :)
<toxic> no actually not lesbians
<CrdStang> hahaha
<toxic> but that they could finger themselves
<spazzer> lol
<toxic> i was like oh shit! they use pencils too?!
<sy|{0ti|{> i watched a clip of some pron when i was in 5th
grade
<sy|{0ti|{> and some chick was pinchin her nipples and shakin
em round
<sy|{0ti|{> and i was like "WTF" girls jack off their tittys "
<CrdStang> LOL
<sy|{0ti|{> yeah
<sy|{0ti|{> by the time i was in 5th grade
<sy|{0ti|{> i was a regular jerk a holic
<sy|{0ti|{> by the time i was in 8th grade , i was skippin
school to do it
<sy|{0ti|{> hell by the time i was in 10th grade , i quit
school to do it fulltime

<midi> I wonder how hard it'd be to piece together clips from
hogan's heroes into a mentos commercial.

<DangerousBeauty> do u seeing me giving two fucks?
<Phuser> i see you giving everyone fucks

<Geno> What Brandon needs, is BATTLEFIELD 1942.
<Brandon64> Geno, I GOT IT!
<Geno> hooray!
<Brandon64> I bought it Thursday!  You wanna play?  Give me a
server
<Geno> 159.234.141.275 14567
<Brandon64> I'm just kidding, I didn't buy it.  And I probably
never will.  Hahahaha
<Geno> Once again you tear my heart in two.
<Brandon64> It's fun

<Ria> Type in the search word,
<Ria> apply pressure to button,
<Ria> then read the results.
<Ria> it's a haiku!

<l0wkey> usually if someone pisses me off i punch their
girlfriend in the mouth and scram

sidacola: I wonder if the house would burn down if I set it on
fire?
sidacola: Er, I meant the incense stick, not the house.

<FuRiOuS1> how bout a place where u can post something u need,
like an answer to a question, or something, anything. this
will all be categorized. ppl can post replies
<FuRiOuS1> help eachother
<braindancer> newsgroups?
<braindancer> forums?
<FuRiOuS1> fuck

MasochisticAngyl: what i wouldn't give for some flesh or
pancres covered in blood right now
XxJoeZeroxX: pancreas?
MasochisticAngyl: thank you for the correction
XxJoeZeroxX: wasnt intended as such, more as a question as to
why this organ was singled out.
MasochisticAngyl: the sweetest one
XxJoeZeroxX: i somehow have the feeling being involved with
you is going to get me in trouble one day.

<CLIP3r> PLease can anybody help me how can I unpack this? 
mysql-3.23.52-pc-linux-gnu-i686.tar.gz
<stuu> CLIP3r: tar only works on versions of mysql earlier
than 2.01.15 i think theres another command though, i'm not
sure
<Apollo-> stuu: So, tar doesn't work on any tar files that
have mysql in the filename?
<stuu> Apollo-: as long as the version number isn't higher
than what i speacified it should be fine
<Apollo-> stuu: I see
<Apollo-> stuu: DO you have clue why tar wouldn't untar a file
called mysql-3.23.52-pc-linux-gnu-i686.tar.gz? what if I just
named the file this and it was really something else?
<stuu> Apollo-: it examines the binary information stored in
the files boot sector
<Apollo-> stuu: the tar file has a boot sector?
<Apollo-> stuu: So, I can boot to it?
<stuu> Apollo-: oh yeah, well no tar uses it to boot
<Apollo-> stuu: Wow...you're full of knowledge, I had not clue
tar had to go through a boot process to be able to work
<stuu> Apollo-: oh yeah, thats just the start

<MacGunner> were learning about the holocust for the 100th
time, so my history teacher, takes us all and makes us stand
in the corner to make it feel like a train car
<MacGunner> ANND
<MacGunner> since its suppose to smell bad he got some pizza
spices from his kitchen and made us smell them
<Arkangel> that's ok in my computer graphics design class the
teacher was teaching us about how to use symbol brushes so he
got all the hot chicks in class to take off their clothes and
kneel by the wall then he jacked off on them. man I tell
you... it was pretty gay.
<MacGunner>...

<PetrDoubt> I think knowing what you're talking about on IRC
violates the RFC

<cygnus> i need to go grocery shopping 
<avi-> nice  
<cygnus> i don't have shit for food 
<avi-> that's a good thing, i've seen those shit eating videos
and it doesn't look tasty

<Pi> GMT is the best
<Pi> coslike
<Pi> everyone else is wrong

<aNuBiS-> hit it before before puberty does
<aNuBiS-> thats my motto

<Adie> I could see pinching pain but fire pain?
<Adie> owwwie
<Cel|Work> its quick
<HeiWork> you just need to moisten the breast a little so the
vaporizing liquid absorbs the heat instead of the breast
<HeiWork> really, there's hard scientific reasons for why i
need to lick your titties

<LinearA> so my boss emails me this resume for a 10AM
interview
<LinearA> within 5 mins I trace the email address to a handle
to an
adultfriendfinder account.
<LinearA> !! Why can't people be more careful !!
<LinearA> "Need Hot Top To Fill Me UP!!"

* flyback- has joined #asm
* flyback- gets off his mom'
* flyback- gets off his mom's crappy laptop
<Spec-Chum> haha
<Spec-Chum> bad typo

<aegis> my penis fits in electrical sockets!

<Ashe3> Some dumbass at work covered his computer in magnets
<PlatinumDragon> ha ha
<PlatinumDragon> no shit?
<Ashe3> yeah
<Ashe3> bunch of smily face magnets
<BosTony> Ashe: Some idiot put a plant on top of his.. and
used to water it.
<Ashe3> lol
<BosTony> I told him not to call me with problems... EVER.

<loss> i met this japanese kid at comdex who could sms 65 wpm
<_dren_> fucker prolly rip his weenier off when he whacks

<draxx> my friend has an mirc script that will delete any
channel
<draxx> or server
<draxx> ive been trying to get it
<draxx> from him
<XenoWolf> lol
<XenoWolf> you cant delete channels..
<draxx> oh yah
<draxx> you dont understand
<draxx> this kids a hardcore

<XX01XX> What's an interesting website?
<Phlegyas> an oxymoron

vickiholt: do you know what I hate?
fyrestorm: What?
vickiholt: I spent over three months writing a friggin' manual
for our document control system and people still do a quick
tutorial around the desk
vickiholt: I don't mind that
vickiholt: what I hate is when THEY DON'T READ THE FRIGGIN'
MANUAL FIRST
vickiholt: A tutorial should not include the words "lets just
see what happens if I do <click> this"
vickiholt: The friggin' book tells you
vickiholt: it's not a big document as I spent time making sure
it was short
vickiholt: <fume>
vickiholt: 3 f***in' months
vickiholt: of having meetings with some of the most boring
(admin) people in the world
vickiholt: <super power fume>
vickiholt: Oooh chocolate
vickiholt: </fume>

<DoktorSeven> emacs is an okay OS but its text editor sucks.

<HomerJ> damn, how many newsgroups are there now?
<HomerJ> 80k+
<HomerJ> I just want some porn

<MongORiaN> a woman in the mens room is SOOOO FUNAY
<Exor[B-AFK]> a woman in the mens room = awkward
<Exor[B-AFK]> a man in the womans room = lawsuit

<RichiH> i am also pretty sure that the a key on this keybord
needs a slightly stronger push thn ll the other keys

ArgosBM : hell, i think i modong protty good for typihg whting
my eyes closed
ArgosBM : ...or not...

<tyrannosaurus> less is more
<tyrannosaurus> actually no
<tyrannosaurus> they're different binaries
<tyrannosaurus> my bad

<Darkseid> anyone want to hear a song i'm writing
<RaTS_FYA> :)
<Darkseid> it's called "if girls bled cranberry juice"
<RaTS_FYA> lol
<RaTS_FYA> lets here it dark
<oldskoolsenate> yeah
<oldskoolsenate> i wanna hear
<oldskoolsenate> please pleaes please
<Darkseid> ok
<Darkseid> keep in mind that it's metalish
<Darkseid> Ahem
* Darkseid clears throat
<oldskoolsenate> Darkseid that's alright
<Darkseid> if girls bled cranberry juice would you press and
squeeze them dry
<Darkseid> would you hold their heads so sweetly til juice ran
from their eye
<Darkseid> f juice ran from girls' ears would you have them
for a snack.
<Darkseid> What if orange juice was dripping from her snatch
<Darkseid> I would
<Darkseid> Chorus
<Darkseid> I mean no one likes a glass of juice better than
me... better than me... better than me... no one likes a glass
of juice better than me... better than me me me....
<oldskoolsenate> Darkseid: That's really touching.

<Calren> CPU Usage: 102% score
<+Olanis> Is that possible?
<Calren> I'm throwing all my resources into running everything
at top speed, lol
<+Andross> um, how do you do that
<Sterri> lovely, you trying to warm the room up?
<Calren> Andross: chant very, very hard
<Calren> and currently I'm trying to toast a poptart
<Sterri> on the cpu, right?
<Calren> it's sitting behind the fan

~ TwinWork is craving chinese
(TwinWork) any asian girls in here?

<@humble> soliciting sex with an underage minor gets +2
sentence points for using a computer
<@jsb> you've got jail

<+DrPoole> my muscles are huge since i became a gym fag
* thom cannot make that statement any funnier, so he keeps his
mouth shut for a change. :)

<pussyfart> jesus h. christ..
<mycheese> wtf does the h stand for
<pussyfart> ...
<pussyfart> henry

<sick-rdi> haha..i had sex in the car the other day
<BlAkEaGe> haha..i had sex on a pooltable yesterday
<sick-rdi> liar
<BlAkEaGe> Truths.
<sick-rdi> there is no girl, there is no pooltable
<BlAkEaGe> Just because you haven't seen a vagina doesn't mean
it doesn't exist.
<sick-rdi> ive seen a vagina
<BlAkEaGe> Yeah.. porn.
<sick-rdi> ive actually licked and sucked on one
<BlAkEaGe> Don't lick your screen, it'll fuck it up.

cranky> I upgraded to the internet 8.0 as soon as AOL released
it

<Zephyr> Isn't American cheese appropriately named? It's fake
and processed, just like America.