bash.org archive

YukiNagato: As much as I do tend to play games that are
generally enjoyed by virginal fat dudes, I wouldn't touch WoW
with a ten foot pole.
YukiNagato: It's just that the whole "KILL MONSTERS LEVEL UP.
RINSE. REPEAT" thing is kinda old.
Semantic: That's not entirely true. It turns out that many WoW
players forget the rinse part.

<Judg3> well, i get laid too. But you have to keep it secret,
or your not as geeky
<JPres> I got laid once.
<JPres> but mom said it made her feel dirty

<Tellah> Ok who is the lamer who thinketh they can be more
1337 then I and hack my com?? Cause your IP 244.688.994 has
been caught and you are now SHIATED..Don't be shy..If you pm
me I will not retaliate..I may even give you pointers..

<Slant> ....
<FutabaAoi> i see your ... and raise you ..
<FutabaAoi> !
<Slant> four baby.
* Slant shoots FutabaAoi for cheating at the '.' table.

*** Jagged changes topic to 'haiku is like sex / except there
is less penis / and no sticky mess'

<LaaG> i wonder if sponge bob has a square dick

<heath> then wouldn't being vegetarian mess up the food chain
doing the ecological system harm?
<heath> just a thought...
<hoemonkey> yeah.....cause then you let the cows think that
they're better.. and then the cows will start eating us. good
point, heath.

<jotun> i saw this cute little asian girl on tv last night. i
said to my friend, "she's hot." turned out to be a young boy,
dressed as a girl. i shall never hear the end
<jona> !!
<cows> haha.
<jona> Ha ha.
<jotun> :<

<{GOD}> who has the internet

<Rzrshrp8> and they told this kid that they were gonna have a
fapping contest and whoever comes first wins....they all
turned the lights out and started making sounds, then turned
the lights on and only the kid they played the trick on was
doing it

·SpOoNmAn· my grandpa gave me some cayenne peppers so i could
cut some up and add it to food (I like spicy food), so i cut
some up. I then went to take a piss. About 2 minutes later, I
had a burning sensation on my penis that would make even the
mightiest men weep like a little school girl..i tore my pants
off and my penis was red and on fire. I jumped in the shower
(this is at 2am) and let the cold water hit my peter, but
alas, nothing helped.

<Rival|prophecy> god some guy named whois keeps messaging me
with all this hacker shit

<Fat-Burrick> you have an obsession, Fuegan
<Fat-Burrick> let me help you
* Fuegan unzips
<Fat-Burrick> oh jesus

<Kythren> I think it would be hilarious if North Korea decided
to launch a pre-emptive attack on the US while we're busy
messing around with Iraq.
<Ryuujin> Kythren, NK has already warned they will
<Ryuujin> if the US doesn't stop shoving their troops into
south korea
<Kythren> Coming soon from Jerry "I love explosions"
Bruckheimer:
<Kythren> Pearl Harbor II : North Korea Strikes First!
<Ryuujin> Pearl Harbor III: We really should have seen it
coming after the last two times
<Silence> If that wasn't so serious it might even be funny
<Kythren> Eh, I'll probably still be laughing about it when
I'm being dragged up against the wall by their troops.

<datacide> i just wanted to type shutdown -r now
<datacide> and what i typed was stfu -r now
<datacide> and for a moment...it looked as though the damn
machine was gonna do soemthing
<datacide> like a....stfu hidden binary

<Sarah> Press 321 to talk to 18/f/dick
<W0lf> Eww
<The Void> 321
<The Void> Wait, shit.

<sleeper> I wonder if it would be illegal to take scans of a
magazine from 1960 and sell them
<sleeper> I figure it must be....but is it?
<Sku> has to be older then that to be legal fer sure
<sleeper> you're sure that isn't public domain by now?
<ZeroHour> no sleeper, PlayBoy is still in business
<ZeroHour> lol
<sleeper> how'd you know it was playboy?

<Toke> I remember that time i was talking to mod on ICQ
<Toke> and she was telling me about how you guys confiscated
your sons marijuana
<Toke> and she turned around and saw you rollin up a joint
<fodders_DS> i had to burn the evidence

<Boo|Marking> Can you think of any reason why IE, on my dad's
laptop, won't display animated .gifs ?
<Mirabilis> Because they're disabled in the IE options
<Mirabilis> Other than that, security settings
<Boo|Marking> Hm. I looked for it.
<Boo|Marking> I'll have another lookie-see.
<Donovan> I dunno, Boo|Marking, I have a feeling it may have
to do with "Microsoft KB #2383892: Internet Explorer is a
Steaming Pile of Shit"

<FE2work> http://abcnews.go.com/sections/living/DailyNews/
video_game_vibrations020201.html
<blazemore> good thing i always turn vibration off ^_^
<mightyflo> smart money says the kid that got it got it from
one of those 3rd party "RIP YOUR FUCKING ARM OFF XTREME SHOCK"
controllers
<blazemore> "WARNING: DO NOT GET ALLOW YOUR CHARACTER TO GET
HIT WHILE USING THIS CONTROLLER OR YOU COULD LOSE A LIMB."

<skmt> efnet is to a computer nerd what cigarettes are to a
heroin addict.
<Digamy> i don't get it
<skmt> Digamy, if you ever come off of a hard-core drug
addiction, you will find yourself addicted to cigarettes
instead.
<Digamy> oh
* Digamy adds shooting up to his to-do list

<Tippytoes> i got a cute winnie the pooh keyring for my bike
today
<Tippytoes> he's cuddling piglet
<undrewb> aww thats nice
<undrewb> uh
<undrewb> thats not cuddling
<Tippytoes> or slipping him the pork sword
<Tippytoes> oh well
<undrewb> THATS ILLEGAL IN TASMANIA
<Tippytoes> piglet's happy
<Tippytoes> he's smiling
<jamesn> piglet is a bitch
<Tippytoes> or it could be a wince

<boxed> I still have the marks of her nails on my back I think
:P
<jwzrd-> boxed: ahahahahah
<jwzrd-> boxed: I get marks on my chest :)
<boxed> well, that happens too
<jwzrd-> boxed++
<nightfal> I bruised my right nipple while I was sleeping 3
nights ago

<Scruuf> i'd rather live in a basement with 100mb then in a
castle with 56k
<Shub> er...I rather have a connection something in between
and live in a normal house ;P
<Scruuf> that just proves you're weird

<Has_Bean> And very soon, they shall have an aisle in the toy
store devoted to it
<Has_Bean> Aisle 6...the sims expansion pack aisle

<@Jugernaut> bah this shirt is full of holes
<@temptah> eat less corn
<@temptah> and more fiber
<@temptah> oh
<@temptah> I thought you said "shit"

< _Maber_> "Hi, my name is perl.  Feed me an orange peel and
some moldy bread, and I'll construct a 747 out of post-it
notes."

<GreenJeanz> Go gnaw on your delicious genitals, Squink.
<Squinky> If I could touch my mouth to my genitals, do you
think I'd be HERE?

<DrWoody> alcohol is my anti-drug.

<|-|LoD|-|> What website?
<danno> one of my side employments
<danno> redesigning the website for a dance studio
<danno> my girlfriend is a teacher there
<|-|LoD|-|> ooh
<|-|LoD|-|> Dancers are flexible ^_^
<danno> ya
<danno> but they can also kick hard >_<

<eidos> INFINITE/2 = middle, DUH

::: [email protected]> m|ch ([email protected]);
to get over someone old, get under someone new

<Mbwana> When i was 10 I was on a ferry and it was very windy
out, so I decided to take an entire roll of toilet paper and
see if I could let it all out into the wind and see if I could
unroll the whole thing before it touched the water.
<Mbwana> It was quite amusing.
<Rialian> well? did you?
<Mbwana> Yes
<Rialian> hehehehe
<Mbwana> It looked very neat
<Qaulorn> you're easily amused too?
<Sealom> How far did it get before it hit the water?
<Mbwana> Of course I am, why do you think I'm on this channel?
<Qaulorn> how did it not tear? did you get the super absorbant
quilted kind?
<Qaulorn> do you get the runs? share with us, we are here to
help you
<Mbwana> Once I had the entire roll unraveled. I would
estimate that it flew in the wind for about 1 1/2 minutes or
so
<Qaulorn> was it patterned? or plain white?
<Mbwana> It plain
<Mbwana> Uh
<Mbwana> Minus the it
<Mbwana> People were awestruck at my amazing feat. People even
videotaped it and took pictures of it.
<Sealom> I accuse you of lying.

<Naivete> god, this shit is so much more efficient than
windows
<Naivete> linux kernel=1 file
<Naivete> windows kernel=2/3 of your total ram, NO MATTER HOW
MUCH OF THAT RAM THERE IS.

<Speef> man
<Speef> I have some killer gas
<matts> go to the terrorists... they'll need your help

Captain Morgan: I swear I'm going to kill whoever lives above
me
Saiu: the chair again?
Captain Morgan: it's like he's playing ddr with combat boots
Captain Morgan: and jumping as hard as he can
Captain Morgan is now Away.
Saiu: uh-oh

<deltax> cancer is due to sloppy programming on god's part

Lukerul1: my mom got a laptop, she opened it up, and was
looking at it, and asked what it was
Lukerul1: i wanted to cry

<SPD-DMN> i wanna get a 6.5L turbo-diesel and like.. put it
into a honda accord
<SPD-DMN> or is that.. put a honda accord into a 6.5L
turbo-diesel?

<hopi> let's talk about my need for once
<hopi> er wrong window

<D3KK0N> i am in such a good mood today!
<JudasX> lose your virginity?
<D3KK0N> many times
<JudasX> your hand doesn't count
<D3KK0N> even your left?

<Lethe> man, if Christ is real, I'm so fucked

<lech> if i want a 3d file browser, i might as well have a bfg
and some monsters to shoot
<Wevah> word
<antiuser> shoot the file you want to open
<Wevah> instead of "rm -rf file" you shoot it with the
railgun!
<lech> yeah, then the fun is over
<lech> "I BEAT MY FILE SYSTEM!"

<Antiarc> Ever have one of those moments where you get out of
the shower, get dressed and all, and then realize that you
left your webcam on broadcast mode?

<mentor> How do you escape handcuffs?
<fudge> Are you in handcuffs?
<fudge> Depend very much on the design.
<fudge> Well-designed handcuffs are, unsurprisingly, quite
hard to escape.
<fudge> Houdini's stuff was mostly based on having hidden bits
of metal that could be used to pick the lock.
<mentor> backslashes
* fudge hits mentor

<Martel> i'm naked
<gotenks> i'm disgusted

<D4NG3R0U5> i swear to god my college is selling personal info
to bookies or somethen
<D4NG3R0U5> "Do you plan on living in the residence you've
written above, for at least a year 1=yes 2=no  |__|"
<R4V3N0U5 1> every college asks that
<D4NG3R0U5> "Would you say you're a fan of college sports, and
are responsible when it comes to making bets 1=yes 2=no |__|"
<D4NG3R0U5> "Do you have a domestic animal that could be
killed if you were to fail to pay a dept 1=yes 2=no |__|

<Prescient1> what's the syntax for sending a message to the
whole channel on a timer?
<|sliq|> /timer 0 (delay in seconds) msg #channelname Message
<|sliq|> don't do 0 0, you'll flood out right away
* Prescient1 Quit (Excess Flood)

<zugz> I can't stand people that preach, "Only God can judge"
and yet simultaneously ridicule others for adultery, etc
<zugz> I don't know about what they believe, but my God wants
me to get some.

[@cOoke]: If there were a building that stood for average
intelligence, you would be the plane that crashed into it

<Arydrall> A printout....'Taoist Taichi Style-Missionary
Position' on a printout with Kama Sutra stuff...
<Arydrall> WTF IS MY MOM LOOKING UP :O

<Abracadav> thats a pretty ambiguous statement
<timmo> i wish someone would ban you.
* Abracadav was kicked by knucklz (ask and ye shall receive)
* knucklz sets mode: +b *!*alk3@*.tpgi.com.au
<timmo> hey look at that wishes do come true
<timmo> and you dont even need cancer to make it happen

<ruumis> ahhh, nothing nurtures a productive workplace
enviroment like fresh paint fumes.
<ruumis> I am in flavor country.

<bean> i remember back when irc was different
<unseenn> it still is different

(+emil) hahahahahahshsahhahshahhhhhash
(@Spellbinder) hash?
(+emil) what?
(+emil) oh
(+emil) i have fat fingers
(+emil) so when i laugh on irc
(+emil) i press the s button too

<tweak> fucking stupid program
<OmniWyse> at least you know where your problem lies
<tweak> why can't I just plug my brain into the pc, lightwave
reads what I want and does it
<tweak> this is driving me up the fucking wall
<OmniWyse> cause then MS would find a way to hack your brain
and copy all the stuff you wouldnt want them to see
<tweak> nahh I'd have a brainwall
<tweak> I'd start thinking about tits and beer and they'd get
bored and leave

<jre> I know how to end racism.  It involves a lot of fucking.
<egg> 1st ANNUAL ORGY TO END RACIAL DISCRIMINATION
<Idiotsavant> Usher in the vaunted age of syphilis

<Viscant> I am proud of having an average sized penis.
<Viscant> Little Viscant is 6 3/4 and proud.
<Hentai007> i thought 7 was average
<tragic> viscant "average" you realize there are 1 billion
chinese people
<Viscant> tragic: Damn them.

(+[MO]GeX) James[UH] you got a GF ain't you ?
(@James[UH]) gf, geforce or girlfriend...

<Splunge> ye gods, I must be bored
<Splunge> I almost visited goatse because I hadn't been in a
while and couldn't really remember how gross it was
<Splunge> thankfully, my fingers wouldn't type it

<Ward> man, at work I had to demo Vista for some customers
<Ward> and I was like, MAN VISTAS SO AWESOME
<Ward> but XP is so much easier to use
<Burty> wtf dude, you've been using XP for what.. 5 years?
<Burty> thats like going from vag to anal
<Burty> sure it feels different
<Burty> and its a bit hard to get into at the start
<Burty> but its true merit shines after a few trys

<u238|duhasst> pdf's suck for reading on the toilet

<ue-Soul_Chaser> yeah sniper, normally, you can't stick your
penis all the way unless you would want to rip her cervix
apart
<ue-Soul_Chaser> or, in your case, his rectum

<Kyou|awaying> omfg i almost had a heart attack
<Kyou|awaying> I FUCKING HATE STUPID ADS WITH SOUND >_<
<HKR|Paper> LOL
<HKR|Paper> Especially if it's a pr0n add, and your speakers
are cranked and your parents are in the room next door
<Kyou|awaying> my speakers are always cranked =
<HKR|Paper> They suddenly hear "AH AH AH!"
<HKR|Paper> "WTF IS THAT?!" they yell
<HKR|Paper> Uh...my brothers rap cd's.

<Mime> Fruit Pastelles are also acceptable.
<Mime> As are Wine Gums.
<Chris_A> Oh yeah.
<Chris_A> But never Fruit Gums.
<Mime> No.
<Chris_A> It's like the worst half of each!
<Mime> Wine Pastelles!
<Chris_A> Note to self: Invent Win...
<Chris_A> ...Mime, I'm going to have to kill you.
<Chris_A> You know too much.

<hypr> joker is playing all his vinyl from 1998
<hypr> heh
<hypr> or somthing
<hypr> old ;P
<caspuh> hah
<caspuh> 98?
<caspuh> they had vinyal then?

<KrudOnAStick> haha i read a story about a brazilian dude who
married a blow up sex doll
<KrudOnAStick> his parents told him to divorce it and he
killed them

<aegis> Well, I come on AIM, and I say to Mike...
<aegis> "Guess what I had for dinner? THREE HELPINGS OF NAN!
:D"
<aegis> Right after that I realized his ex-girlfriend's
nickname was nan...

<Rogue> You can have quit messages?
<Rogue> I always try and rejoin real fast to read it but i
always miss it
<Rogue> Im getting closer