bash.org archive

<cin> i have friends in my bum
<cin> My mum says they're worms
<cin> But I know better

Notnilc:       Is Eric working today?
Jwald90726:    If by  working  you mean  Fucking a minor  then
yes.

<nem0> you gotta pee on jellyfish stings to make it better
<nem0> wonder if that'd work on Rey's foot?
<REY> tried it.
<boorman> i tend to just pee on people on the OFF CHANCE that
theyve got a jelyfish sting. One day, ill save a life doin
that

<Dead_One> and when i restarted it it goes *there wasa problem
with the registry*
<Dead_One> *would you like us to slam it in all at once, or
inch by inch like a gentleman* ?
<Dead_One> and the *nicer* option was gr3yed out.

<z_evil1> does _anyone_ on IRC update the topic field of a
channel to suit the actual topic of conversation?
*** Madeleine changes topic to 'fuck all, as usual'
<Madeleine> set that to keeptopic, forever

<Asuna|Sola_and_Sleep> Heh, I just plugged in a printer for
the first time in a year
<Asuna|Sola_and_Sleep> and a homework assignment that I needed
3 months ago immediately printed out
<me[dot]> hahaha
<Asuna|Sola_and_Sleep> Yeah
<Asuna|Sola_and_Sleep> Isn't that great?
<me[dot]> Modern technology, always expediting our needs

<punchcard_w0rk> "fuck with me and I convert your job into a
shell script"

<@unlord> yah I've gotten good at typing in the past few dasy

<Shana> such memories
<Jake> I had some decent memories with Stacy's mom
<Axel> jake unless you had a nice time with a 50 year old
you're a sicko
<Jake> She wasn't 50 at the time
<Jake> Hello, son

(Craig): watching something on suicide bombers on discovery
(doggie^): lol
(doggie^): wonder how they managed that
(doggie^): not many people to interview or anything

<@JeffRaven> I posted a question about putting a time limit on
how long someone can be logged onto win2k
<@JeffRaven> and several people from IT departments of
companies have emailed me wondering if I found an answer
<@JeffRaven> boy they'd be shocked if they found out I'm just
a unemployed college graduate trying to limit the time of my
brother on the computer

<@DrPoole> i wish i had a friendly panda
<@DrPoole> he'd be my buddy. watch tv and stuff.
<@DrPoole> drink beer.
<@niklas> get high
<@DrPoole> yeah. he'd get fucked right up and he'd beat on me
from time to time.
<@DrPoole> that, would, RULE

<@Miz> Buffys on. You told me to remind you, Porn-Star.
<@Porn-Star> erm i dont like buffy???
<@Cheez> you gay or something?
<@Porn-Star> no i think its boring and predictable
<@Cheez> ok ill rephrase. do you like sarah michelle geller?
<@Porn-Star> of course!
<@Porn-Star> look anyone who doesnt like "that scene" in cruel
intentions is a bit weird
<@Miz> the one where the guy is naked in the pool?

<GTi-brenter> just went to read the paper, our movie reviewer
is so homo
<GTi-brenter> he gives low star ratings to all the blockbuster
movies
<GTi-brenter> but then gives 4 stars to all the foreign films
that tells about the french mans penis falling off
<GTi-fippy> that one was good

<alpha0> dude i shoot smack every day
<alpha0> i am so far from being a drug wuss
<mEta> shooting smakc is for gays
<alpha0> well
<alpha0> considering im now gay
<alpha0> i guess it isnt
<alpha0> not
<alpha0> *
<alpha0> fuck
<alpha0> :(

<Anatole> The PS2 is the *only* choice, if you like those
kinds of games.
<SINsApple> Not *really* since the xbox *is* the *one* that
has Nascar *Thunder* and Outlaw *Golf*
<SINsApple> I'm mocking your use of asterisks, in *case* you
didn't *notice*
<SINsApple> :D
<Anatole> Wow...you sure are *funny* when you're *drunk*, you
dirty *bitch*

>>> dsfh [[email protected]] has joined #computers
<dsfh> hey i got 512 ddr ram and my computer is only using...
<dsfh> Memory Usage: (Usage: 197/512MB (38.48%)) º
(|||||||||||||||||||-------------------------------)
<dsfh> how do i make it use more?

<ComputerNap> if you burn something at a lower speed, it
doesn't read slower, does it?

<morte> Jesus Peanut Butter Cups: Little pieces of the Son of
God in a milk chocolate cup! There's no wrong way to eat a
Jesus!

[KodiaK] my definition of back up is move all my porn to the E
Drive

<Spankle> What the fuck is a furniture cover?
<Al> Spankle: a sheet you put over chairs and shit to stop
dust or dirt getting on them
<Al> like a foreskin for your sofa.
<Jre-La> And retracts when guests come by

* Now talking in #9-11
<[9-11]|vS|darkwinter> cant we just have a moment of silence?
<[9-11]GodLovesFiremen> YOU ARE ALL INVITED TO MY TERROR DAY
BARBECUE
<[9-11]GodLovesFiremen> WE WILL HAVE GAMES
<[9-11]GodLovesFiremen> LIKE
<[9-11]ILLuSiOnZ|GaS|> we did b4
<[ws]-storm[9-11]> hi
<Will> holy shui
<[9-11]GodLovesFiremen> PIN THE JET ON THE WTC TOWER
<Will> no one is oped either
<[9-11]GodLovesFiremen> KABOOM
<nLs|rOnny[9-11]> omfg
* *** G-line requested by Jaden.. (465)
* Disconnected

<mixedknut> drac killed the chats again
<mixedknut> bastard
<Dracon|s> bah
<Dracon|s> I was the only person other than you chatting
<Dracon|s> as if my terrible punning would drive people away
<GOD|away> <---

e l i t e m r p (11:56:26 PM): 80 dagrees 95% humidity
Tom McFarlin 4 (11:56:50 PM): yesterday it was 90 deg and
90humidity here
Tom McFarlin 4 (11:56:53 PM): so i can relate
e l i t e m r p (11:57:47 PM): yeah but im wearing a 300 pound
suit of lard

<treepwood> i wanna go anna nicole tipping

<ShajJee> i am muslim and i never belive on sex
<jackfig> oh, that's good
<Dormir> congrats
<ShajJee> and a muslim can never do sex with anyone
<jackfig> ummm, then why are there so  many of them?

Steal My Bagels: okay
Steal My Bagels: amy
amy did not say: okay
amy did not say: mat
Steal My Bagels: best friend to best friend here
amy did not say: yes?
Steal My Bagels: whats the key to scoring
amy did not say: hahahaha
Steal My Bagels: you know there's an actual way that will
always work
Steal My Bagels: but girls won't say
Steal My Bagels: what is it?
amy did not say: hmm
amy did not say: well the way that will ALWAYS work involves
drugs/alcohol
amy did not say: hahaha
Steal My Bagels: hahahah
amy did not say: the other ones take time and lots of
getting-to-know-you shit

<Jezabel-n-hell> im in a size 7 jeans now
<TheMusclesFromBrussels> no you're not.
<Jezabel-n-hell> my ass looks bangin
<TheMusclesFromBrussels> no it isn't
<Jezabel-n-hell> i stopped traffic today
<TheMusclesFromBrussels> Jezabel-n-hell: it was probably near
a red light

<_p> my lack of morals has absolutely nothing to do with my
loins.
<_p> it just so happens that many immoral acts that are
genuinely worth doing involve my dick.

* wrostek [[email protected]] has
joined #root
<wrostek> can anyone tell me if its possible to get windows ME
to boot to the command prompt and not load windows?
<Varak> ask in #windows
<wrostek> They dont know
<Varak> big suprise
<Varak> go ask in #cisco, they are really helpful with windows
questions too
<wrostek> ok thanks

<CapnHardcastle> do the ppl on bash.org randomly move from
chat server to chat server taking ppl's comments out of
context or do they sit on just one server?

<A-KO> heh
<A-KO> so
<A-KO> what's the latest on Iraq? heh
<@crw> eh, apparently it's still there.
<@crw> we're working to rectify the problem :P
<A-KO> lol

--> Kelle has joined #vendetta
<StarFreeze> What goes up must come down. You're gonna run out
of Viagra soon enough.
<Kelle> I came in here at the WRONG time..

<Ophiel> someone asked me if LOL was a different version of
AOL :O

<kat-write> disturb me and suffer castration
<Doppelganger> that almost sounded interesting till I
remembered what that meant

<Tovart > I have alot of people in my aim thingy
<Neris|ffx > you professional thing you =P
<Tovart > neris stop laughing I use windows 98 MOUSE EDITION'
<Tovart > where i use a mouse
<Tovart > i could hack u so bad your ancestors house would
burst into flames

<Mandingo> This is why I go to CNN.com.
<Mandingo> http://www.cnn.com/2002/US/08/08/porn.patriot/
index.html
<American> im not clicking on anything that says porn patriot
<AirsickMoth> some american.

<@Drezdar> !google teen pregnancy crisis hotline
<@Drezdar> Heh, don't ask.

<BongOP> if there's anything more bizarre than fucking a blow
up doll, it's having 'group sex' with a bunch of blow up
dolls.

<RoadJoe> I put the F in spelling
<me-money-mix> i put the cum in company
<We_are_Dad> I put the fun in funeral
<GNAustin> I put the myself in killing myself

<ZeBFFd00d> oh yea, just set up my sixth CPU running
Folding@Home
<pl3x> you must be quite the ladies man

<SyL> and I'm trying to get some work done, and I'm watching
the keoki musicvideo and they have all these women that look
like that they were in the same room at Rainbow Brite when she
exploded and couldn't get all the color off and they're all
kissing and stuff, and it's just "distracting" to say the
least...

(_dev) you go get what you want for supper
(_dev) and i will cook it
(Ashley) wings!
(TwinWorkn) Ashley: with dry weave?
(TwinWorkn) for added panty protection?

<Wang_Ninja> oh boy
<Wang_Ninja> minigame
<Wang_Ninja> I have to find four 6 year old boys
<Goonigoogoo> it's a michael jackson minigame?

<Extigy> Ships are Long, Hard and full of sea men!
<blondee> i don't get it....

* animosity`snow`boardin is now known as animosity`FUCKING
`PARENTS
<tP-InfamousGadget> ewww

<mefwork> haha, someone from purchasing sent out an email
marked urgent -- WE WILL NOT BE BUYING COLORED POST-IT NOTES
ANY LONGER AS THEY ARE MORE EXPENSIVE THAN THE STANDARD YELLOW
COLORED ONES

<Red_Green> Dar wants me.
<Daroneasa> to die.

* NovaScorp just taped his old 15" monitor connected to his
server sideways on a chair so he can IRC while in bed =-D

<ryda> <Skitzo> hold alt and press F+A+X for mirc fax mode
<ryda> lol im not that stupid
<milenko> nah
<milenko> you dont have to hold alt
<milenko> just press alt then type fax,  its for dccing files,
not faxing
<ryda> pressing alt f a x quits mirc, you n00b
<milenko> no it dosent
<milenko> it brings up the dcc window
*** ryda has quit IRC
<milenko> whos the n00b now?

<STUDYIuG_4_PreCal> everyone type /clear so i can hide my
shame

<Zarzig> If i had a cup of liquid nitrogen right now, i would
drink it.
<Zarzig> Granted my stomach would solidify and i would die in
a matter of seconds...
<Zarzig> but at least my underwear woulden't be so sweaty...

<Marcus> Heaven has no videogames. I saw for myself. It's just
a bunch of old guys in tunics, laughing cause nobody has been
admitted for the last three centuries.

<darkdawg> bout how long till you can check my box out?
<Trolan> no clue.  this shouldn't be taking me this long,
excpet the guy who coded it needs to be shot.
<Trolan> and otherwise, try an OB/GYN
<darkdawg> ob/gyn?  type that as root?

<TriNitY> how are u only 1/2 hour ahed?
<TriNitY> ur clock iz fux0r3d
<Mr_Man> i set my clocks ahead for no good reason other than i
feel like i step into the future when i enter my room

21:28 < tijmen> WHO wants to meet a very handsome boy?
21:28 -!- harma [[email protected]] has left #sweden.ladies
[]
21:28 -!- zn1tz]MiniMilk [[email protected]] has quit [Signed
off]
21:29 -!- wMa|Syph3r^ [[email protected]] has left #
sweden.ladies []
21:29 -!- Archer|cs [[email protected]] has quit [Signed
Off]

(markut) that this was a bicycly accident
(@El-Ztevo) bicycly? does that mean it kinda involved
bicycles?

<pyxl> my schedule says I'm taking physics this year
<matterless> Good, it builds character.
<pyxl> your sympathy is overwhelming

<dirtYbird> I am looking for a ecommerce package or someone to
make one up, mulitlingual etc. Found one in Jamaica but I find
it hard to take anything from there too serious, I can picture
them sitting back in front of their PC's with joints the size
of rolled newspapers on the phone telling me "it'll be coool
mon"

<@Seth> *** How to Create a Religion in 4 easy steps ***
<@Seth> Step 1: Create "god", "evil" and "theories"
<@Seth> Step 2: Write book (should take about a page)
<@Seth> Step 3: Layer on the bullshit (should now be ~1000
pages)
<@Seth> Step 4: Publish and wait for the suckers

*** ChanServ ([email protected]) Quit
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*** BuM ([email protected]) Quit
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from: Aussie-Hub.EnterTheGame.Com
<Nemephosis> thanks for telling us after the fact
<Nemephosis> isn't that like getting hit by a car then having
someone say "dude there's a car coming"

<dregan> EGADS THE PAIN
<dregan> THE BITING, GNAWING PAIN
<dregan> THE SEARING, UNENDING.. UN.. mmm..

<Erodice> 1 time last year we just had freezing rain and
people where goin' 60-70 mps over the bridge form where i live
to the main city New Bern. you never seen so many morons
slipin' an' swervin' and wouldn't anyone slow down it was
insane
<Bligyith> On the fire department we call those return
customers
<Bligyith> ...well not really, but I do

<^erica^> god, why dont you apear infront of me when i pray?
<GodFu> because i like to watch

<JibbleWork> I'd rather jiz in the can than shit on the seat
<JibbleWork> holy god that came out wrong

<Dabz> u know i'm currently being paid to sit home reading
bash
<FuzzBuzz`> lol
<Dabz> sick pay rules
<Dabz> mind u, i would usually be being paid to sit in work
and read bash :/

<JeyK> 7) I wanted to see if my penis would fit through the
CD.  It did, but the firemen and rescue squad had to break the
CD to free me.

<assman2> i hate getting cum on my hand
<assman2> its fucking annoying
<assman2> have to find something to wipe if off on
<mabbz> assman shoots it all over his chest and belly and then
smears it around so he can pretend he's a glazed donut
<assman2> mabbz
<assman2> i cant shoot that far
<mabbz> oh so when you cum it just oozes out into your belly
button?
<hydro> jesus
<assman2> i fucking hate when that happens
<hydro> this is fucking disgusting
<assman2> it happened to me once

<Ishimura> woah
<Ishimura> finger is apparently functional cross-platform
<SilentPenguin> yeah, users understand the finger irrespective
of the operating system they are using