bash.org archive

<Phonoflux> So I was watching TV last night
<Phonoflux> and my mom
<Phonoflux> she lent over and opened her legs
<cuebol> and I climbed out

<+sp0re> most CS players are illiterate
<+sp0re> infact nearly everyone on the internet is
<@nem0r> sp0re
<@nem0r> its alliterate
<+sp0re> no
<+sp0re> illiterate
<@nem0r> nah
<@nem0r> alliterate
<+sp0re> shut up
<+[IRF]Peng> illiterate nem0r :P
<+DCCwis> <nem0r> alliterate
<+DCCwis> lol
<+sp0re> he's a n00b
<@nem0r> smb
<+DCCwis> so if you were sick you'd say i'm "all"
<@nem0r> forget it
<@nem0r> fucking n00b clan anyway
* Parts: nem0r
([email protected])
<+sp0re> you can tell the CS players from a mile

jason: i used to always get free pizza hut for reading books
and shit :o/
jason: my family depended on my book reading to provide dinner

<chris> Spit or Swallow?
<holly> both, I spit and let you swallow

<profuse> its rather good, this is the first of anything of
his that ive listened to
<profuse> heh im talkinglike im british or some shit
<al-x> hey
<al-x> americans say "rather" too
<al-x> except they say "i'd rather have a big slow car that's
flashy than a car that isn't flashy but runs better"

<Amanda> Uncle Bud's Catfish is a PRODUCT OF CORPORATE
MONOPOLIES ATTEMPTING TO STEAL OUR CATFISH TRADITION
<Amanda> AND CAPITALIZE ON IT WHILE LOSING THE TRUE VALUE OF
AND LOVE FOR THE FISH
<kisama_> alright
<kisama_> so you're against christmas presents too?

<Saddam> wtf?

(laguna`) i wank to her occasionally
(Jyrka) for how long have u been doing this?
(laguna`) a month
(Jyrka) what did u used to do before?
(laguna`) go to school

<Dr_Greenthumb-> tomarrow I got the house to myself for 4 days
<Dr_Greenthumb-> ahhh, the orgies...
<@EnD-Raistlin> left and right hand at the same time ? :o

<eMeow-v2> WTF, why is nmbd dying each time?!
<Tamahome> Meow: it hates you, it's personal.
<eMeow-v2> Tamahome: you used that line already
<Tamahome> Meow: it's true.
<Tamahome> Meow: your computer is getting you back for all the
years you     abused it
<eMeow-v2> Tamahome: it's a new computer. The old one is
locked in the  cupboard.
<eMeow-v2> Oh wait. it's the old one that runs samba
<eMeow-v2> FUCK

GGamoGamo: The unofficial newspaper of the college my friend
went to was investigated by the Secret Service once
Wintyr Feanim: why?
GGamoGamo: For printing an editorial called "Jesus, please
strike down Geroge W. Bush"

<TrouT> anyone know what this means:
<TrouT> python2.1: can't open file '/usr/local/sbin/
RegisterVh3Service'
<+toad-> I think python2.1 can't open the file /usr/local/sbin
/RegisterVh3Service

<MisterZ> You're all retards, only retards join this channel
hahahaha!

<qwerty> that girl told me its a sin to wank
<qwerty> and i deleted like 200 megs of pr0n :(
<xor|shabl> !@$N$:@NK$!K!@N
<Wanderer> muahahaha
<Kristoph> tell her you want to sin all over her face :D

<PO_Dorn> Hey, those of you familiar with iPod's -- how do you
put text files onto them?
<Xearz|away> Magic marker?

<stig> LCST: do you have a crack?
<LCST> sure i do
<LCST> |     |
<LCST> |( . )|
<LCST> |  |  |
<LCST> |__|__|
<stig> lol
<stig> um.. i mean for SecureCRT

<chikster> I am 15
<hardlined> 15 is prime age to start experimenting with anal
sex.

<Spear> what's an american idol?
<Exorcist|iDM> money

<Linguica> penisgirls are all the rage in hentai now
<darknation> men with vaginas seem to be less popular for some
reason...

<_grunt> wife washed my damned wallet
<_grunt> i got freshly laundred money
<_grunt> my driving record is now clean
<_grunt> a new social security card washed up
<_grunt> wonder if the soap washed the debit off my credit
cards

(@HS): yes, i was around a very powerfull political figure,
and all i could think about was banging his daughter

<SHn> how come its cheaper to fly from brisbane to sydney then
the other way?!!!
<disco[burrito]> cause you need all the smart people you can
get

* taz chills to : [Shonen Knife - Do The Bartman (Simpsons)]
[3:20] [3.05MB/44KHz/128Kbit]
* Jumper chills to : [Your MOM and I.DIVX.XXX.AVI] [45:60]
[560.04MB/44Khz/1024KBit]

<SasukeUch> I loved SA because i was finally living the dream
of being a black man and being able to say "nigger" without
getting beaten down in the comfort of my own home.

<GaRlic_Iv> wanna hear a joke
<drunkers> hold on let me get my headphones

* gjinn[a] points to his atheist side
* EmersonOw points to his love for underaged boys
<EmersonOw> i mean my catholic side

<Lowridah> I don't like getting  8===========D dcc'd to me

<rob`> wai, self-pity.  is there anything more pathetic? :)
<nev> *nod* whining about it on irc ;)

(@Thwark): if masturbating improved penis growth, not only
would we all *know*, but it would have entire library wings
dedicated to the study.

<D_Knight> I have return
<D_Knight> And i will not be denied(....dont ban again plz)

<waug> Did anyone else discover that drunk chicks are easier
to seduce?

* Lots42 has just finished perusing Ladyj.net and is now very
frightened
<LJ-atwork> Lots: frightened?
<Lots42> LJ yes. Since you have the eyes and nose of my
ex-girlfriend.
<LJ-atwork> in a jar

<tm> meetings, the alternative to work
<Dane> meetings, the PRACTICAL alternative to work
<Rushn> Masterbation, the FUN alternative to work

<+Wyrd> Trahnse... will you dye your hair down there and send
me a picture?
<+Ziphy> :x
<+Trahnse> wyrd, I would do that for you if I had hair down
there ;)
<+Ziphy> My dreams just got better ^_^

*iRc-AsS* ok POOP story.......I knew this one fucked up
kid.,.he came to ohio from idaho....there was a special tree
hangin out over a freewayor something....daily....he would
climb that tree..and while being hidden by the trees
foliage..he would SHIT on the passing cars

<g33kk0r3> anyone know what carpet bombing is?
<vaportrail> umm...taking a crap on a vagina?

<ExDthGONE> What I really want to see is stuff like "Heart
Surgery For Dummies" and "What's With All Those Silly Dials
Anyway?: A Cliff Notes Piloting Crash Course"

* {JPM} is now known as {{{JPM}}}
<{{{JPM}}}> does this nick make me look fat?

<Navaash> SHIT-FUCKING ASSLICKING ELECTROPLATED BLACK JESUS
CHRIST ON AN ELECTRIC MOPED
<mightyflo> times 7.6
<FlipTopBox> squared
<FlipTopBox> with a cherry on top.
<mightyflo> plus alpha!
<FlipTopBox> for matching service

<ShenLong45> anyone know where to get a texture map of the
planet earth, neptune and uranus?
<mikesch> heh, texture map of uranus...
* mikesch dies.

<heffster> next thing on my to do list is to lose my virginity
<heffster> i'll probably have to fork out money for that too

<@KelPearl> sleeps comes after sex
<@KelPearl> gotta get tired ya know
<@mootlif3> goto sleep while having sex
<@mootlif3> it'll make dave thing he sucks
<@mootlif3> and he'll buy you stuff
<@KelPearl> whoa
<@KelPearl> sweet idea

<Ariakas> HAHAHA
<Ariakas> Look what happened on my MUD
<Ariakas> SylphW leaps into the Lynx fighting stance.
<Ariakas> MyAss slinks into the Ferret fighting stance.
<Ariakas> SylphW's strike does UNSPEAKABLE THINGS to MyAss!

<punkmac> people are dumb
<punkmac> i put my 2 333's on the local for-sale newsgroup
<punkmac> heres what some doofus emails me:
<punkmac> >>Will you sell them separate from each
other......In other word do I have to
<punkmac> >>buy both of them?
<punkmac> YES! YOU MUST BUY 2!! THEY ARE SIAMESE TWINS AND
CONNOT BE SEPERATED!
<TeamsterX> hah connected at birth by a crossover cable ;)

Bebej210: I really miss you Tim.
Bebej210: Except for the whole sodomy thing.

[8:39pm]«+ w2o » Are you religious?
[8:40pm]«@ Dwarf» no Christian

* Ashboy notices that solidair has changed his alias
<SolidLand> yes.
<Ashboy> wh00p! l8r.
*** Ashboy has quit IRC (yes)
<SolidLand> never seen a guy so excited about my nick change

[21:51] <Hatta> yee must be like FNTC, wants them fresh outa
the womb!
[21:51] <Uber`> too old for kuro
[21:51] <Nakago> >_<
[21:51] <britenite> what? kuro wants 'em in the womb?
[21:51] <Nakago> ack
[21:51] <Hatta> hmm.
[21:51] <Hatta> how would that work.
[21:51] <Nakago> don't ask
[21:52] <kisama> 2 for the price of 1

<JDigital> How has a white girl got a brown cock? That's just
weird.
<DigiGnome> YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE IT'S BEEN.

<Clutch-Dialup> You're like a guy who says to his beautiful
girlfriend, "I think we should see other people." And is
surprised when she says "Great!!" Then you have to watch her
enjoying herself with a multitude of studs, while you play D&D
with your geeky friends.

<Steve> http://www.cnn.com/2002/WORLD/asiapcf/east/12/14/
korea.nukes/index.html
<Jsangspar> I swear to god, CNN and the government are making
everything up
<Jsangspar> and it's starting to fall apart
<Jsangspar> 'The Yongbyon nuclear facility in North Korea.
Pyongyang says it will restart the nuclear reactor there '
<Jsangspar> "YONGBYON"? "PYONGYANG"? Now they're just making
fun of asian people
<Steve> "Neighbor and potential threat FLIEDLICE has
threatened to destroy any troops coming through their
territory, be it from the western YELLOWSKIN or the east's
SLANTEYEBASTIDS."
<Jsangspar> gahahah

<faded> i found a pocket pussy in my cousins room last night
<SpaceGoat> even fat chicks
<SpaceGoat> hahaha
<dfury> hahaha
<faded> so i put it in the dish washer
<faded> to clean it so i could use it
<faded> and it fucking melted

<Crack[H]eaD> That brings up an interesting point....
According to the license agreement of some software you dont
own it... you are merely renting it
<Crack[H]eaD> so by downloading the software am I borrowing
it?
<Lasuuco> yeah crack
<Lasuuco> hence the term
<Lasuuco> "licensed"
<Crack[H]eaD> I should make a bunch of bumper stickers that
say "Borrowing is not a crime" ;)
<bigfoot> could i borrow one?
<Crack[H]eaD> Fuck yeah

<tech-mage> could someone possibly help me. i am studying
linux but dont have a *nix box. can someone make me a root
shell account that i can practice with?

<CoMBo> man i got 12 hrs of sleep about to come in a couple
minutes
<vermifuge> you sleep 12 hours everyday ?
<CoMBo> yeah give or take an hour
<vermifuge> i hope thats fucking canadian hours
<CoMBo> main reason why i didn't do good in my grade 13
<CoMBo> i think thats why i look so young, and skinny
<CoMBo> cuz i get so much rest
<|]resta> or it could be the HIV

<krisi> anyone from ireland?
<Tbodd> no, we're all sober

<Ferney> WTF??? benchmarks for a fuggin VIBRATOR?

<UGPYitEarp> I think part of McDonalds employee training is a
seminar called "dealing with the failure you call life"

<Yukanojo> engrish.com is proof that the japanese are just as
bad as the americans in that they like to spout stupid things
in other languages
<Yukanojo> for all we know, those shirts with trendy kanji on
them probably say "WOODEN BLOATED CHICKEN PENIS"

<FarginBoard> I tried to get AIDS once, but even those people
wouldn't do it with me

<bhlaab> If I could pick from any supepower, it'd to be able
to have a gun up my ass, and be able to fire it at will.
People'd never know what hit them, and if they DID know,
nobody would believe them

<incoherent>:I AM not giving steam my fucking credit card.
<Adopted>: can I have it?
<incoherent>  Yah sure, you seem more secure then STEAM....
<KellyX>: LOL ouch....

<geekster> mossibly
<geekster> that's most poccibly, but it went thru a horible
translation from brain to fingers
<geekster> ARSE!!

<black_dub> Konami isn't American, IIRC.
<Wanderer> No, they are as Japanese as bukkake and Pocky.
<MMK> Which would be a *great* name for an anime cover band.
<Nash> Thank you, Knight. You have brightened my entire week.

<Marand> My girlfriend's parents are paranoid.  They don't
trust the internet and are extremely against chatrooms.
<Marand> if ($person == 'online') { $person = "pervert
dograping kiddiefucker" }
<Marand> Maybe it's because they know me

<neoMesis> thats like 11 year olds having sex
<neoMesis> WTF IS THIS WORLD COMING TO!?
<aux_> i dunno but i like it

<alexei^se> I need a new hd
<alexei^se> 10gb hd yah yah!
<xK|servo> ya i have a 20 just got a 40
<xK|servo> mfr at office max was like hey pal need some extra
space for all them mpeg files
<xK|servo> i was like shit you got me man
<xK|servo> hes like hey dont worry we all do

<Sumez> so, what's happened over the last week?
<RafaMan>

<nix>  what's with all these stores having stacks of those aol
cd's with free hours for FREE? what's the catch here?
<Morstis>  It's AOL