bash.org archive

<afhersn> I'm a trojan infected computer set to spam. I got
this way because I went to a p0rn site someone messaged me.
I'm an idiot. Find an IRCop and get me klined please!

(+^Bunny) without the sex
(@Squiggle) the sex doesnt matter
(+^Bunny) like prison mates :)
(+^Bunny) lol j/k
(@Squiggle) I would SO much rather have someone hold me and
play with my hair and snuggle me while I sleep than have sex.
(@Squiggle) sex is irrelevant to me most times.
(+^Bunny) i think a lot of women would ;)
(@Squiggle) Besides, my washing machine has a great spin
cycle.

<Ashen> sometimes, we get users that suddenly make me realise
why the mirc troutslap command was invented.

<@Gaz> my rgby team is losing so ...
<FrozenFood> ..ok
<@Gaz> I should change channels :)
<@Gaz> but ...
<FrozenFood> just tile them! i have 4 channels open
<Mike> spoken like a true IRC addict
* Mike is pretty sure Gaz meant a TV channel....

<Sassy> if the GC ends up sucking, i will start calling it the
LameCube and reap the benefits of my witticisms

<Angelz> cya bskfdhdt
<Hoopy> can I buy a vowel? :/

<Karate|Superbowl> i hate on football they always assume u
know all the colors and which team name and team city they go
with :|
<Karate|Superbowl> cuz for scores tehy just show like a pic
and the number
<@Azhrarn> I hate on football how they always have like 10-15
minutes of crap in between all the good commercials

<S|ip> if I wanted to see scenery I'd go to google. Like, I
know the resolution would be better if I actually decided to
go hiking, but I'd have to get up...

<@Shively> my last college had a guy who was smearing feces on
the bathroom walls
<+PickleHead> ewww
<@Shively> yea well the guy at our college was becomming so
popular that the student goverment put an article out on him
<+PickleHead> have you seen the book called Brown spots on the
walls by "hooflung pooh"?
<+PickleHead> :P
<@Shively> he said he would stop if he could have a spot for
somehting he wanted to say
<@Shively> so they gave it to him and he defended it as an art
form
<+PickleHead> LMAO
<+PickleHead> you can't be serious
<@Shively> saying that feces drawn on walls is an expression
of fecal art
<@Shively> so
<+PickleHead> ......................................
<+PickleHead> fecal... art....
<@Shively> the janitors responded with their own article

<GothYena> I have a brother who breeds wolves in Alabama.
<RosenOttr> breeds them, or with them?
<|Wolf|> :D
<GothYena> I'll assume both.

<Doh_> programming is the act of creating a computer program
<Doh_> not of copying and pasting other peoples code
<Doh_> not to mention on the grand scheme of things, youre
program is about as complex as the little clicky thing on the
end of some pens

<oblique> i dated a canadian once
<Znutar> Did you get a refund?

*** mark ([email protected]) has quit IRC:
-eXtreme- WOMAN.ZIP: Great Shareware, but be careful of
viruses...

<FireEgl> so hurngy =(
<tito> why don't you eat your dick?
<tito> heh
<FireEgl> I need something more filling.

<Dan> I was at a funeral
<Saria> catholics suck..
<Dan> And I was drinking a pop
<Dan> And for some stupid reason... the holy water was plugged
into an electrical socket
<Dan> So the wire was just kinda hanging out
<Saria> so do pentecostals
<Dan> So I trip on it... land in the holy water, spilling this
brown pop in the holy water
<Saria> lol
<Saria> :/
<lophyte> LOL
<lophyte> awesome
<Dan> I look down and said "Whoa.. it's holy crap!"
<lophyte> LMAO
<lophyte> HAHAHA
<Saria> LOL
<Dan> Never saw the inside of that church again...

<Kitsa> I didn't know wtf he was talking about.
<Kitsa> and why drunk ppl always think they have so much
insight
<Kitsa> OMG TRAIN POODLES TO RESCUE MINERS, WHY DIDN'T ANYONE
THINK OF THAT BEFORE?!?!?!?!?
<Kitsa> I MUST GET ON IRC AND TELL EVERYONE
<Kitsa> WITH FREQUENT UPDATES ON HOW DRUNK I AM

<Elfhelm> ya can never have to much coffee.
<Elfhelm> the stuff is great for the soul
<Spriggan|UT> just like heroin .... i mean church

<sev> there is no big brother
<sev> just a big pervert

<lildaemon> every girl i meet and talk to ..so far ..(about
mental
disabilities).. like personality ones
<lildaemon> they all seem to have one
<lildaemon> my brief analysis concludes that all girls have
issues because of me
<lildaemon> men*

<Bad-Co> Next time your having a bad day, think of this...
Your a siamese twin, your brother is gay and your not. But you
only got one arsehole.

<Graeme> Fifty-nine people have attempted suicide and, out of
this, 26 people have died. This is of great concern
<Graeme> i bet it fucking is.. a return rate of 50% is pretty
shitty

<KMFDM> Your rank out of 1918856 total users is: 411951st
place
<bocz> aha whats that for
<bocz> a beauty contest?

<Sede> That's a big word.. does it mean 'blowjob'?
<Potato> I thought that was "affection".
<Nyphur> Affection, Blowjob, same thing, isn't it?
<Potato> That's how I was raised.

<@Beesta> damn
<@Beesta> I really need a sewing machine.
<@Pandaemon> Beesta, of course, is very secure in his
masculinity

<N3xtAxchunz3r0> y'ever had to take a shit, but were already
listening to music and playing gameboy so you went in the
bathroom with your headphones and gameboy, took a shit, and
didn't come out for 2 hours cuz you still needed to catch a
friggin pikachu?
<N3xtAxchunz3r0> I have..

Seth: its sad when Perl is the closest thing to a girl in your
life

<zed> I wonder what kind of look my dad would give me if I
said "dpkg dash
dash purge coca dash cola" as I chucked an empty coke
bottle into
the recycling bin.

<@zartik> i just banned someone from #freebsdhelp
<@zartik> and he msg's me:
<@zartik> -06:46- [      hegemon ] So I have nobody to turn to
and must go back to Windows.
<@madog> should be nice and unban him, thats evil to make him
use windows =<

<Winta> I Am Single...
<Playette69> aww poor winta
<Winta> I'm not asking for sympathy, im hyping myself up to
rob a house tonight...
<Winta> Hey, do you live near here? you seem cool..

Sway21: dude frondz how do you type so fast
Frondz: It's not something I'm proud of.
Sway21: why's that
Frondz: It's detrimental to masturbation.
Sway21: .. guess i should stop asking so many questions

<Trelane>it'd be really weird if we died at the same time
<LOAF> We could die at 8/7 central.

<Castle> To drive a cab in NYC, you have to get at least a B
in Crazy Taxi

<Dllem> I like free stuff
<EyePulp> Like herpes?

<danbee> Ah well. I'm going for a shower in my new rave
bathroom.
<weealan> rave bathroom??
<danbee> Aye. The bulb is on the fritz.
<danbee> So now I get an epileptic fit every time I go for a
piss.
<danbee> It's... messy.

* MoonKatz munches some girl scout cookies.
<MoonKatz> for some reason, these aren't all that great. Maybe
it's because I had shortbread recently.
<Da5id> could be that they didn't use fresh girlscouts this
year too
<MoonKatz> true. I got them from a different troop, so that
must be it.

<Fox_Alan> when you have to resort to using pickup lines from
bash.org things are bad :)
<Borlath_Mon> Yeah, but nobody I know over here READS bash.org
- I read a bit before I go out, and I'm the life of the party.
Telling jokes, making fun of things...
<Borlath_Mon> Of course, I -did- get into a bit of trouble
when I went to the Black Pride thing.
<Borlath_Mon> That antique farm equipment joke didn't go down
too well.

<octalpuss> that's right... i'm on my way back to being
beautiful
<octalpuss> fuck brains  =o)
<octalpuss> oh, and drinking adequate water really kicks ass
<octalpuss> the extra skin on my tummy that i thought i was
going to need a
tummy tuck for is now 85% gone
<el_kab0ng> turn around, I think I found it

<Mr_p> so hows ur man love?
<Mr_Bandit> its a pain in the arse

<Fireklar> Anyone know what could cause a monitor to dim like
that besides impending death?
<mig|flurry> fireklar: impending death.
<slurpee> impending death of your eyesight
<mig|flurry> fireklar: capacitors pretending to be resistors.
<Fireklar> DAMN YOU CAPACITORS
<Fireklar> I hate those bastards

<BombScare> hmmm...choices choices, either get dressed and go
get lunch, or sit here and wait for dinner
<BombScare> damn im lazy

<res0> LapCat says elizabeth hurley has DSLs
<mattt> broadband?
<res0> dick sucking lips
<res0> she does have some nice lips, but reducing such an
astoundingly attractive woman to a sexual object that any
street slut could embody is something i'd never do.
<jotun> yeah, that's my job!
<res0> sucking dick?
<jotun> :<

<nondesc> All I need's a basic optical mouse.
<nondesc> This Logitech is like $12 street price.
<Livewireo> Strret price? are you buying illegal mice from
ugly mexicans on the street corner?

<control_m> hi.. im 21/m :) any girl here want to remote
control my pc, and use and abuse it to make me slave? i have
Radmin and Netbus 2,1 Servers running on 80.213.12.2 and i
have autoaccept on if you want to send me another program or
something? msg me? :)

[10:11] <meiso> ok guys im loading up mozilla 0.9.1
<meiso> time how long before it crashes
[10:18] <meiso> ok mozilla just crashed

<ik0n:#2600> It doesn't take much more then a bored college
student, and an ounce of pot to spawn a new warez network.

<DJ_Phatiguez> there is a way you can actually do a jedi mind
trick?
<cow> of course there is
<@tolikin-skywalk> DJ_Phatiguez: rohypnol
<Githzerai> Why does he wave his hand then?
<cow> misdirection
<DJ_Phatiguez> ahahah i got ejected from a pub for trying to
do a jedi mind trick when they ID'd me
<DJ_Phatiguez> 'you dont need to see any identification.'

<Rapture> i need to hit someone
<Rapture> a guy from work just came online
<Rapture> can we smurf him

<J0RD4N> where do they find these retards?
<reptile_> randomly picked from dalnet

<Wraith> What IP addressing scheme should we use for the new
lab?
<Rance> 10.10.220 plus the number...

<Kasugai> matthias_: You could get a job at Google telling
their tech dept. what they are doing wrong!
<matthias_> for one they still haven't got a mind-reader
interface going
<Kasugai> I hear they are still trying to implement safe
search filtering on that one
<Kasugai> Otherwise you get pr0n popping up every 8 seconds.

<phx> crap
* phx just upgraded winrar
<phx> rather, i upgraded to a russian version of winrar
* phx does not speak russian

<slA>hmm, saw this on the QDB
<slA><MegaMechaMrEd> I saw a funeral hearse with "BBL" on the
reg plate today. It was funny in a macabre sort of way.
<slA>There's a funeral company where I live, and one of their
hearses' licence plates is "YUR NEXT"

DoYouKnow: Anyone know how to describe the sequence 0.1666,
0.06666, 0.016666, 0.006666, etc, it would be greatly
appreciated
Polytope: "useless"

<the__man> does anyone know if any brothel is open at this
hour? i need some action right away
<+Octane> the__man: you've been blessed with two hands and ten
fingers. go figure it out.

<damocles> osama bin laden is hiding in my shed.  I feed him
boiled cabbage once a week, and when he sleeps I read the
bible to him

<DAL9000> i was kicking ass at scrabble
<DAL9000> and got dropped
<DAL9000> i really should spend my time much more
constructively than pummeling lonely housewives and unemployed
fatguys in scrabble

* Zapp is now known as Zapp|party
<Zapp|party> see yall
<Zapp|party> PARTY!!
<Zapp|party> w00t
<Zapp|party> drunk white woman for everybody!
* Zapp|party has quit IRC (Quit: Zapp|party)
<W-Cid> busy girl ;)

[+Sirex]: ...busy moving from gentoo to debian :)
[Si|verwire]: gentoo, debian? eh? where do u live then

<visi-work> what's the hairy stuff in the cat5 cable for?
<BrassMonk> insulation?
<rm> its fur.

<sceptre70> anybody here know how i can get laid or eat out a
pussy without spending money msg me

<mm13> people who eat people
<mm13> are the hungriest people

* jwz has sh0px0red
<ogw-iii> whatcha get for me?
<@jwz> plastic bags
<@jwz> slightly used

<[Bryan]> maladono: Make with the showing of the boobies.
<maladono> never
<Venom|WorkProblem> :D|8-<
<Venom|WorkProblem> lol
<Coan_Arcanius> Venom|WorkProblem: you have way too much time
on your hands...and i hope thats all you have on your hands...
<[Bryan]> maladono: Why don't you show.
<maladono> im no slut!
<[Bryan]> maladono: well you don't have to be a slut, there
are other things you can be. You could be an exhibitionist, or
promiscous.... or even just free spirited.

<fugi> 64 bytes from 207.46.197.32: icmp_seq=0 ttl=115 time=
69.422 ms
<fugi> 64 bytes from 207.46.197.32: icmp_seq=0 DUP! ttl=115
time=69.887 ms
<fugi> 64 bytes from 207.46.197.32: icmp_seq=0 DUP! ttl=115
time=86.464 ms
<fugi> microsoft.com sends duplicates..
<fugi> it like they got bored of making new security holes so
they just brought back some old ones

<[DMK]Relvox> can anyone tell me what "BUST A CAP" means?
<DrStrangelove> It means they'll friggin slit your throat if
you use caps, ever again.

<Hroth> http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=
8795795223394289910
<Hroth> bush's family supported the nazi's
<videogameaholic> you know who didn't support the nazi's? 
jews.  look what happened to them.

<feral> woo hoo..... i knew watchin MacGyver all these nights
would pay off <feral> i just rewired the end of my cat5 cable
with a pocket knife and a safety pin

<tethfs> you're a bit dim, arent you?
<Hazza|1942> dim?
<tethfs> evidently so.

<Tigs> does anyone have a ruler i can borrow?