bash.org archive

<tak> you are like a huggies diaper.. always on someones ass,
and constantly full of shit

<Culex> Why did LatinKing get fired from the sperm bank? He
got caught drinking on the job :)

<slippy> wtf is this shit on bbc1
<slippy> how on earth do you prevent friendly fire?
<slippy> don't fight with the americans?
<slippy> hrhrhr
<doggie^> hahah
<doggie^> maybe if we painted all our military equipment red
white and blue
<doggie^> they would be so overcome with patriotism they
wouldnt be able to blow us up
<slippy> lol
<slippy> paint golden arches on all the tanks
<slippy> then a little sign under saying "this is not a
drive-thru, you dopey obese fools"
<doggie^> hahaha

<DildoDaggins> isn't this a great hobbit porno name?

<AdeptaCheese> now
<AdeptaCheese> im scared to ask this
<AdeptaCheese> but what the fuck
<AdeptaCheese> is bukkake
<Al3xand3r> :o
<Al3xand3r> :x
<Al3xand3r> XD
<Al3xand3r> I have no idea...

<Ifenna> In a CDROM drive on a PC, does the CD spin or the
laser?

<|Yimbo|> i know this is stupidly elitist but i lieked eminem
before 11 year old girls started hailing him as their idol.
<WoodenPlank> hes good angry music
<WoodenPlank> 11 year old girls are fucking sheep more than
anyone else on the planet
<WoodenPlank> that sounds so dirty its pathetic

<SD-Washu> ST. LOUIS - A former Southern Baptist Convention
president stirred interfaith tumult when he described
Muhammad, Islam's revered founder, as a "demon-possessed
pedophile."

<Hitei> I can also IMPLY that you are an idiot.
<Hitei> Which, you are, but I'm not saying it, just IMPLYING
it. IMPLY is the key word there.
<Si`Howe> Look at that. You typed more than three words.
<Hitei> Shut up, you.

<sommerfeld> perl: what you get when you take a couple
features from every known language and toss them in a blender.
<sommerfeld> with 20g of crack and a dab of lsd
<perry> sommerfeld: the LSD is purely for flavor.

<jD> Best thing about a 12 year old girl, though...
<jD> ...when you flip her over, she looks just like a 12 year
old boy
<jD> ...
*** Geothermal has quit IRC (Ping timeout)
<jD> I guess he's away off to get a 12 year old girl.
* Fishbird flips jD over.
<jD> Yes, except that I'm more 18 than 12.
<jD> I'd look like a girl with a really hairy arse.

<red> just because something makes you briefly nauseous
doesn't mean it's wrong
<mute> red, that's what i tell my woman

<Otto[half-a-always]> I made AI smarter than George W. Bush
with 47 events

<Raine> Loggy, you ever hear of Escape Velocity?
<Loggy> I DONT KNOW THE NAME, BUT THE FACE SURE RINGS A
BELL!!!  BWAHAHAHAHHA!!!  LOLZ LOLZ LOLZ
*** Loggy has been kicked off channel #mooniverse by Raine
(jerk)
<Raine> LMAO
*** Loggy ([email protected]) has joined channel #mooniverse
<Loggy> damn AT&T...
*** Loggy has been kicked off channel #mooniverse by Al (You
go to hell and you die!)
<Raine> ROFL
<Al> hehe
*** Loggy ([email protected]) has joined channel #mooniverse
<Loggy> better give them a call..

<Cain> whatever yoy want... but I am not cumin again
<Cain> GDSfsa
<Cain> hj
<Cain> auhjs
<Cain> NO
<asagiri> WRONG WINDOW BABU
<Cain> I am so never ever having netmeeting and IRC open at
the same time

<Yoshi> I watch way too much leave it to beaver.
<Yoshi> I'm just going to stop resisting and start calling my
dad pops and saying gee wizz alot.
<hampsterdance> g wizz alot?
<hampsterdance> isn't that a rapper?

<memo> I AM NOW TAKING REQUESTS REGARDING PRESSING SPECIFIC
LETTERS OF THE ALPHABET AND THEN HITTING ENTER   <memo> IF
ANYONE WOULD LIKE TO REQUEST A LETTER PLEASE DO SO NOW AND I
WILL TYPE IT

<Black_Mage> i need the program that enables you to make
flash; damned if i remember what it's called
<Assgoblin> ...flash.

* inkedmn is BORED
< jbm> inkedmn: drink beers. fuck wife.
< inkedmn> jbm: no beer/money, wife's at work
< jbm> uh. got any pets?

<D> I've been blowing my nose on the leg of my pants for the
past few hours, and now my spoon just fell out of my bowl.
<D> It landed on a towel.
<Jens> ...
<D> I believe this to be God's way of saying "You fucking
dumbass."
<ZMan> D. Never reproduce.

<My`Albanian`Ass> FUCK!!!! MY MUM BUSTED ME LOOKING AT THE
GOATSE GUY!
<CoMPLeX> and u were looking at it becoz....
<My`Albanian`Ass> leave me alone, my mum's looking at me
funny, brb talking.

<Mak0> history class was hilarious today
<Mak0> teacher asks "can anyone name a law put into effect by
a president that they dont agree with?"
<Mak0> my response: "the Emancipation Proclamation"
<Mak0> its ok though, its a honors class so of course no black
people are in it

marek: hey, this is great. we finally have our own chatroom on
irc.
marek: now we can be on bash with our amazingly witty retorts,
counter retorts, and general repartee!
Palladia: fag

<MMouse> finding me a CIO or CTO position is harder
<undrewb> heh
<jamesn> *laugh*
<jamesn> your going for upper management jobs?
<MMouse> of course ;)
<jamesn> you cant even get a bill paid on time:)
<MMouse> that actually makes me more suited for upper
management

<evenpar123> "I believe" "But how do you know that you exist
to believe?" "Becuase I believe I exist to believe"
<evenpar123> and so on
* evenpar123/#sydvoc is hungry, assuming evenpar123 exists

<CptPlanet> ever get the urge to have someone videotape you
masturbating in public so you can watch it later and laugh? or
masturbate again.
<slick> i have a tripod

* nickname has joined #mp3friendschat
<nickname>  word
<+bobbbit10>  excel?
<+Davman>  rofl

<HandiKap23> Man, I am completely in love with this girl and I
don't even know her name. 
<uk55> hmmm, is it Sarah ?
<HandiKap23> I told you I dunno her name
<uk55> what about Tanya?
<HandiKap23> shut up man, I really need your serious advice on
this one.
<uk55> is it Lisa, or Betty,  what about Nora, Catherine is
possible, hey maybe its Barbara, yeah Barbara, definitely
Barbara- I think it is Barbara
<HandiKap23> you are an asshole
*** Quits: HandiKap23

* Lucca|DigitalMayhem used to use AOL a lot
* Lucca|DigitalMayhem thought it was cool
* Aezia used to shit in his pants. we all grow out of it
someday.

<Genasirus> #3928 +(8)- [X]
<Genasirus> <illfates> the first time I had an orgasm
<Genasirus> <illfates> i had my dick buried all the way into a
stuffed animal
<Genasirus> <illfates> a kangaroo named "Fred"
<jhtm> that so beats my first orgasm story
<jhtm> I was playing with my parents massager
<Genasirus> wtf?
<jhtm> and all of a sudden I passed out
<jhtm> it sucked

<bludot> and then i said that the deadline for the oxford
coding competition was valentines day, they were like, "do you
geeks have weird alternative holidays for every thing?"

<joey``> ryan...what are you doing for new year's
<ryano> going on dalnet

<gnawol> i hate can beer
<gnawol> i cant drink it
<gnawol> tastes like metal
<gnawol> like a steel dildo
<gnawol> not like ive sucked a steel dildo or anything

<Korbel> hey, at least IM not the one asking questions today
<[X]odus> wow
<Korbel> wow what?

[ @Treach ] can you hump in the sims online
[ @qoncept ] Treach, i think so but i dont know how. figures.
[ @TribalJedi ] you need the love bed i think
[ @qoncept ] thats stupid why cant you just do it out by the
dumpster like in real life

<grimrat> oh.. migod
<grimrat> I just reviewed a Usenet post of mine... I wrote
"must of"...
<grimrat> I feel faint
<grimrat> this will be associated with me for the rest of time
<grimrat> how much does it cost to change your name?

<Throttle> man, farting in the shower kinda kills that whole
clean feeling u get

(Smidge|Proggin) Someone's been usin' my computer...
(Smidge|Proggin) They tainted it by visiting aol.com
(Smidge|Proggin) I feel violated

<Comanche> fuck off windows with your low dick space thing.
<Comanche> err. *disk :P
<Kim> LOL
<Comanche> typo :P
<xeon> lol, warning no dick found

<Trahen0ts> nobody loves me
<Trahen0ts> that's it
<Usiel> grow boobs. i'll love you
<Trahen0ts> *turn up polka*
<Trahen0ts> how do you know I don't have boobs?
<Usiel> your picture
<Trahen0ts> that could be somebody else
<Usiel> looks like you
<Trahen0ts> how do you know?
<Usiel> i saw you
<Trahen0ts> when?
<Usiel> couple years ago
<Trahen0ts> ..
<Trahen0ts> that coulda been somebody else.
<Usiel> kind of an elaborate hoax just to fool me
<Trahen0ts> well, I'm an elaborate guy
<Trahen0ts> I have boobs, trust me

<gloone> seriously, i can watch porn for like 500 hours
straight and still not get bored..
<gloone> without jax0ring or anything..
<gloone> there's something wrong with me :|

<buzgub> do drakconf and drakxconf look at all different?
<puttputt> find / -name "*drak*" -exec rm -f "{}" ;
<Robzy> not at all
<Robzy> puttputt, it returns:
<Robzy> rm: cannot remove `/etc/bootsplash/themes/Mandrake':
Is a directory
<Robzy> find: /mnt/floppy: Input/output error
<Robzy> find: . changed during execution of find
<puttputt> oh my god

<PixieDee> GIVE ME A YOUNG MAN TO SACRIFICE
*** tao|Cyrus- is now known as tao|Cyrus-dieing
<PixieDee> omg i don't want a grammatically incorrect
sacrificial young man.

<MiK> dont question me
<abuse[phone]> about what mik?

<budb> i find chicks in real life, and they are dating someone
else, chicks find me online, and they are bisexual guys

<WonderMut> Interesting, if Khan died from the Genesis thingy,
and Spock was sent to the planet the Genesis thingy exploded
on, how did Spock come back from the dead while Khan didn't?
<halcyon--> jesus
<halcyon--> this is like watching movies with my grandmother

(DiscoFever) bah, twas the night befor christmas and all
through the house
(DiscoFever) not a creature was stiring
(+cow) not even a mouse?
(DiscoFever) except for cow because he was a fucking jew and
didn't believe in christmas

<Ezandora> from an infrastructure perspective, accurate and
complete transmission of all data is paramount when creating a
reliable system
<MorningStar> okay, seriously
<MorningStar> what time is it where you are ez?
<Ezandora> er, 5:44, why?
<MorningStar> am?
<Ezandora> ya
<MorningStar> I have decided that you are not allowed to use
words with more than two syllables between the hours of 3 and
8 am

<Logic_BomB> supprise your friends: put a chip bag over your
croch and cut out the bottom of the bag, undo zipper, take it
from there
<Logic_BomB> or put mouse traps inside, whatever, just dont do
both

<DilleMMa> heyyyy eyyyy baby ouuu ahhh i wanna knowwww
(oooowwww) if youll be my girl
<Iceman> DilleMMa: sure, i'll be your girl
<Iceman> DilleMMa: what do I have to do?
<DilleMMa> wear a skirt, shave your legs, paint your nails and
get your period everymonth

<Tom> Would it surprise you if a Mozilla browser on the Mac
failed to adhere to max lengths set in a textbox?
<Jon> It doesn't surprise me, because nobody adheres to the
fucking W3C. it's like, of all the standards organizations in
the world, they are universally ignored by pretty much
everyone.
<Jon> W3C says: "Electricity must flow from negative to
positive, because that's the way electricity works."
<Jon> Microsoft would say: "You can specify the direction of
electrical flow, as well as whether or not you can kill
yourself with it."
<Jon> Mozilla would say: "Electricity?"

*** CitizenC changes topic to 'Slippers, all of you <-- But
aren't slippers comfy? <=- no <-- You must have beta slippers
then.'
(@d-_-b): CitizenC: yeah, Slippers v0.05b is full of bugs
(@CitizenC): Stupid beta slippers. When is the sole not going
to have these huge holes in them?
(@CitizenC): I reported that bug when I first got this build.
(@frOsty-): CitizenC: i just got Slippers v0.07a, cvs from
last night.
(@frOsty-): CitizenC: they're fucking hot man, seriously.
(@frOsty-): CitizenC: new silk insole, fluffy toes.
(@d-_-b): frOsty-: did they fix the backdoor?
(@frOsty-): CitizenC: and i don't fall down on the hardwood
anymore. Crash constantly on the concrete, unfortunatly.
(@frOsty-): d-_-b: yeah, it's all fixed. they have a velcro
flap now.
(@frOsty-): d-_-b: but it's only the hook side right now, not
the soft side.
(@frOsty-): d-_-b: so i had to hand-compile some tape for it.

<Khuffie> you know there's something inherently wrong when the
first thing you do after you wake up is check your computer
for any messages, yet you know for a fact that you can count
the number of people who care using two hands
<Khuffie> wait
<Khuffie> make that one hand

* hotwetlilgurl13 is now known as MrPinky
<Strawberry-Holocaust> .... damn dude I was gonna pm u for a
second there

<DarthSemiAway> man, I passed a church the other day who had
something like "Not Christian?" on the top line of their board
outside, and on the line below it, it said "Dude, you're going
to Hell!" Seriously.

<Swish> life is so ironic
<Swish> Happy hour: when you imbibe great quantities of
depressant

]-eX-[Mad^AfK is
[email protected]
* nfwuor
[]-eX-[Mad^AfK VERSION reply]: mIRC32 v6.0 + dEfCoN oNe v0.74.65
by Ecronika

<Kash> MY BUM IS ON YOUR FACE
<Kash> MY BUM IS ON YOUR FACE
<Kash> LOOK AT ME
<Kash> MY BUM IS ON YOUR FACE
*** Kash was kicked by da_slog (ITS NOT VERY PHUN)
<CrashCat> MY FOOT IS ON YOUR BUM

(@Gramps) Too sunny to go out today. Reflection off my head
starts fires

<^Baka^> I wish there was a unix command called train
<^Baka^> then someone would eventually have to type man train

Reynir > Have you ever tried prostituation?
Reynir > it's not like sex at all. more like multiplayer
masturbation

<Cerebus> when i go on a rampage killing all women on the
planet, i'll spare you
<yunicus> yer a dear heart
<yunicus> really
<yunicus> please leave me with a bunch of stinky men

<roOt-dIR> where can i get a free shopping cart?
<roOt-dIR> ?
<collapser> supermarket, then run away quickly

<rworks> But seriously, I wish Steve Jobs would accidentally
drag himself to the trash can.

<hep> husbands girlfriend EXTREMELY annoying
<Ach|medicated> damn husbands, and their whiny girlfriends!
<Ach|medicated> (number 37 of The Big List of Things You Never
Expected to
Say)

<CmnstR> so i calls it ScRnr?
<Lord-Data> CmnstR: you call it a screener
<Lord-Data> the only reason you would type ScRnr would be if
your e key wasnt working

<GenLeo> I had sex in 5th grade, 6th grade, 8th grade, and
sophomore year
<GenLeo> er, sex ed even

* Cheez is now known as rwxr-xr-x
<MudBlud> ./Cheez

ComTraXG3: i dont usually shave... but i got a haircut a
couple of weeks ago, which was the first haircut ive had in
almost a year. Now i have short hair and my beard looked dumb,
so I shaved it off.
ocaJ+: Did you also get a new set of dice for D&D?