bash.org archive

<FLB> GRRR
<FLB> I put moisturizer on my hands in the washroom
<FLB> and couldnt turn the door knob to get out
<Hawk--> lol
<FLB> and there were no towels or anything
<FLB> Then I remember I could use my undershirt
<FLB> close call though

<Spirit> belgium is the capital of what country again?

<-- FaNt0m_ has quit (Quit: Procrastination is like
masturbation; it's all good until you realize you just fucked
yourself.)

<%revmoo> http://revmoo.home.insightbb.com/irox.jpg
<%revmoo> (yes that is a real screenshot)
<%revmoo> (no I do not have a life)

<PolestaR> what the hell is a segway
<Marudek> we already have electric wheel chairs
<PolestaR> how fast is it?
<DooD> about 15 mph
<PolestaR> pfft
<PolestaR> i can have sex quicker then that

(Lesley): yea I like the night because fewer people are out in
it
(Lesley): then again
(Lesley): everything is closed
(Lesley): except the 24 hours wal mart
(Supachikn): what is a wal mart?
(Supachikn): what do they sell?
(destiney): hehe
(Lesley): haha
(CoRPSe): it's like kmart
(Supachikn): ok
(destiney): they sell *
(Supachikn): i wouldnt mind getting me some asterisks

<Slant> I lost $50 to sexual laws in Washington.
<Corranfox> if I have to pay $50 to fuck my girlfriend so be
it

<RoseyCat> I didnt even nothice
<RoseyCat> wow, I type with a lisp now

* t watches win2k grind to a halt
<greg> Give it some credit.  It slows down quickly.

* mike rolls eyes WITH SEXY RESULTS
<RushMore> you got porn behind eyeballs?
<mike> yes
<RushMore> lucky cunt
<RushMore> mine is on the bottom of my foot
<RushMore> which is relly ackward for masturbation

<blazemore> Windows XP Professional Uptime: 4wks 4hrs 55secs
<blazemore> time to reboot
<ScumDog> that's so retarded
<mandarin> heh...uptime is sad
<mandarin> more sad is most *nix nerds have longer uptime
records than relationship records ;)
<mightyflo> Relationship OSR2 Sexual Uptime: 2wks 6hrs 12secs

e l i t e m r p: oohhhhhh naked chick on courttv
e l i t e m r p: shes dead but, nice ass

<simon-say> CNN is reporting that Lance Armstrong may be
stripped of his 6th Tour de France title.
<simon-say> In a random check for banned substances, three
were found in Armstrong's hotel room.
<simon-say> The substances banned by the French that were
found in his hotel room were as follows: (1) Toothpaste, (2)
Deodorant, (3) Soap
<simon-say> The French officials also found several other
items which they had never seen before, including a testicle
and a backbone...
<simon-say> Earlier reports that French Government officials
attempted to surrender to Armstrong as he entered Paris were
apparently erroneous.

<Lord_Cie> CNN (Boca Raton, FL) A new report has OJ Simpson
quoted as saying that he "will vow to search for the real
terrorists"

*** ProgrammerX ([email protected]) has joined #
vgmusic
<ProgrammerX> Hey, anyone in here want to cyber with a male?
<TriforceOfMusic> ?
<TriforceOfMusic> what do you mean?
<ProgrammerX> Cyber.
<TriforceOfMusic> ...?
<ProgrammerX> You know....cyber sex? sex over the internet?
<Shosuro-chan> jesus fucking christ, who advertized this place
to an AOL chatroom

<dfd> can someone tell me how fast is a k-line?

<addeman> the difference between me and a soccer player is
that i score then shoot

<Tak777> my intel FAILED TO INFORM ME THAT THIS PLACE IS
CRAWLING WITH SNIPERS
<Tak777> fucking shitty intel
<Ragnaar> Yeah... go with AMD.  ;)

urban13eatnik : I wonder. is there a feeling when you see a
woman in porno and you're sure that she's someone you know?
BeHeMoTh101 : yes
urban13eatnik : what is it?
BeHeMoTh101 : it's called IKNOWDATBITCH

<Joe_> how do you downgrade to IE5.5?
<Soulflame> fdisk

Reganbishop: my house may be sold, my boss is an idiot, and my
x is a pain......
Kanzure: ahhh grasshopper. You have achieved the american
dream....

<Mave> packetmonkey has a whole different meaning in jail :/

-!- red_one has quit ["Netscape 4 turned 5. 5 years ago, my
best friend wasn't even dating; now he's married and has two
kids. Fucking upgrade already."]

<JohnPnP> Hey, porn is good. SEX CAN WAIt, MASTURBATE.
<JohnPnP> Abstinance is in the palm of your hand.

<Mir> I'm based on a true story
<eldee> mir: what book? kamasutra for homos? :)
<Mir> no....
<Mir> not a book
<Mir> I'm based on the Story of Dave. The guy that was.
<eldee> the guy that was _____? (gay?)
<eldee> bwahahhaa
<boozie> hahaha
<Mir> no
<Mir> the guy that was.   theres no more words, I put the . in
there.
<eldee> dang
<eldee> he's right.
<eldee> punctuation's a bitch
<boozie> poop

<sad|st> grrrrrrrr
<sad|st> im going to *kill* my ex
<TblunT> good
<TblunT> ex's suck
<TblunT> fuck em
<sad|st> i spend 20 mins making fresh whipped cream every year
and she demands i put Cool MotherFucking Whip on her shit
<sad|st> %&)%&*%&
<TblunT> sounds like the cream isn't the only thing whipped y0

<lucid/#philosophy> your google-fu is weak.

<[Shinji]> Statitics say that 85% of College men mastrubate at
least once per day.   Hmmm... I'm about due....  I'll be back
in 10..

<spectre> hypno: did you see what braingrind wrote in the
front of the book ?
<spectre> "Yo Fran. I liked this book. I pissed myself. You
should like it too. If you don't, I can only assume you suck.
Shizzle. Braingrind"
<bluecgi> haha what he wrote is like his account of a normal
day
<bluecgi> he wakes up, says something, soils himself, emotes,
soils himself again

<Maxstah> GOD what i'd do for gwen (stefani) to just kiss the
tip of my cock
<Javi> you'd blow me?
<Maxstah> javi i'd swallow
<Maxstah> i'm comfortable with my hentrosexuality
<Maxstah> long as i have a coke to chase it down with

<Hexis> you guys read about the easter egg in mirc?
<Hexis> hold ALT and type "fxfire"
<Destruct> ?
*** Signoff: Destruct (Quit: )
<booger> type /server fxfire instead
<booger> that might work better
*** Signoff: Destruct (Quit: )

<Kanako> That's right kids. Unlike most of the Linux solutions
out there, Cinelerra requires no emulation of proprietary
operating systems, no commercial add-ons, no banner
advertizements, no corporate dependancies, no terrorists, just
pure, raw, hot blooded Linux boxes.
<Kanako> ^--- It does, however, require walking through hell,
fighting Satan himself, and saving the princess in the other
room.
<Neo1337> Just to find out the princess is in another
castle...

* Finn apologises for her rabbit like activity
<Finn> that could be read a few ways..I mean jumping about

<BladeXT> hehe www.geekissues.org is a pretty cool site
<Videl17> wtf does Gee Kiss Ues mean?
<BladeXT> *sigh*

*** Idiot__ has joined #israel
<Baa0595> Wow. The first honest man on IRC.

<+DrDiamond> I had a hot dog in Steamboat Springs Colorado at
the Kum n' Go market
<+DrDiamond> no joke
<+DrDiamond> terrible name
<@kelea> least it wasn't in Climax, Colorado.
<+DrDiamond> I'll bet Climax has one
<+DrDiamond> it's a chain
<@kelea> lordy.  A chain of Kum 'n Go sounds like my date
life.

<DrNick668> the guy that used to live at my house is
subscribed to the far eastern economic review and he didn't
get it forwarded to his new adress
<DrNick668> i like gettin free stuff, but couldn't he be a
pervert instead of an investor?

Topic in #os: hey guyz, stop pickin on irix.
<SCO> w00t! i bought unix! im gonna b so rich!
<novell> /msg atnt haha. idiot.
<novell> whoops. was that out loud?
<atnt> rotfl
<ibm> lol
<SCO> why r u laffin at me?
<novell> dude, unix is so 10 years ago. linux is in now.
<SCO> wtf?
<SCO> hey guyz, i bought caldera, I have linux now.
<red_hat> haha, your linux sucks.
<novell> lol
<atnt> lol
<ibm> lol
<SCO> no wayz, i will sell more linux than u!
<ibm> your linux sucks, you should look at SuSE
<SuSE> Ja. Wir bilden gutes Linux für IBM.
<SCO> can we do linux with you?
<SuSE> Ich bin nicht sicher...
<ibm> *cough*
<SuSE> Gut lassen Sie uns vereinigen.
* SuSE is now SuSE[UL]
* SCO is now caldera[UL]
<turbolinux> can we play?
<conectiva> we're bored... we'll go too.
<ibm> sure!
* turbolinux is now turbolinux[UL]
* conectiva is now conectiva[UL]
<ibm> redhat: you should join!
<SuSE[UL]> Ja! Wir sind vereinigtes Linux. Widerstand ist
vergeblich.
<red_hat> haha. no.
<red_hat> lamers.
<ibm> what about you debian?
<debian> we'll discuss it and let you know in 5 years.
<caldera[UL]> no one wants my linux!
<turbolinux[UL]> i got owned.
<caldera[UL]> u all tricked me. linux is lame.
* caldera[UL] is now known as SCO
<SCO> i'm going back to unix.
<SGI> yeah! want to do unix with me?
<SCO> haha. no. lamer.
<novell> lol
<ibm> snap!
<SGI> :~(
<SCO> hey, u shut up. im gonna sue u ibm.
<ibm> wtf?
<SCO> yea, you stole all the good stuff from unix.
<red_hat> lol
<SuSE[UL]> heraus laut lachen
<ibm> lol
<SCO> shutup. i'm gonna email all your friends and tell them
you suck.
<ibm> go ahead. baby.
<SCO> andandand... i revoke your unix! how do you like that?
<ibm> oh no, you didn't. AIX is forever.
<novell> actually, we still own unix, you can't do that.
<SCO> wtf? we bought it from u.
<novell> whoops. our bad.
<SCO> i own u. haha
<SCO> ibm: give me all your AIX now!
<ibm> whatever. lamer.
* ibm sets mode +b SCO!*@*
* SCO has been kicked from #os (own this.)

( Comatose  ) play dough is the food of kings
( Chino     ) play dough is too salty
( Comatose  ) but its not as crunchy as crayons

<slayer4si> hey does anyone have a good version of Hackers?
<slayer4si> or can get one?
<zMonk> no, but I could mail a pointy stick you could use to
poke one of your eyes out, if that helps

HalfShadow> Oh yeah. Ever see something so bad you wanted to
go into fetal position?
seventhcrow> spice world

(after a netsplit which booted most of the channel)
<JeremiahSmith> Ha! Empty room!
* JeremiahSmith dances in his underwear.
* Just[AFK]Yin () Quit (Ping Timeout)
* Rhamphoryncus () Quit (Ping Timeout)
<JeremiahSmith> o_O
<JeremiahSmith> My dancing cannot be THAT bad.
* Kazriko () Quit (Ping Timeout)
<JeremiahSmith> Gahhhh!
<JeremiahSmith> Fine, fine. I can take a hint.
* JeremiahSmith stops dancing and covers his underwear.

Knoxy: Her boobs are like "RAWR!"
Knoxy: Those boobs are like "Rawr."
Foofaloo: i wish they were like "winrar"
Knoxy: Then I could be like "I'm going to WinUnZip my pants
now"
Knoxy: "And wank until I explode all over your WinfACE"

<{GkC}-LiQ[na]> have... to... get... out of... chair
<{GkC}-LiQ[na]> argh
<{GkC}-LiQ[na]> i have to go to the toilet but i've to go all
the way down then
<{GkC}-LiQ[na]> downstairs
<{GkC}-LiQ[na]> i'm at the attick
* YoungBlood throws a pie down the stairs
* {GkC}-LiQ[na] runs after it
<Azzid> owned!! :D

<Delirium> AFK, tornado
*** Delirium quit irc: (no route to house)

* Andrew has quit IRC (Quit: In the year of our Lord 1314,
patriots of Scotland, starving and outnumbered, charged the
fields at Bannockburn. They fought like warrior poets. They
fought like Scotsmen. And won their freedom.)
<Mank> Andrew's quit makes me want to duct tape him to a tree
and rip his eyes out.
<Coco13> But then he wouldn't have his FREEDOM

<QuaKed_Oatmeal> i always wanted to be an evil genious\
<QuaKed_Oatmeal> ever since i saw all those james bond
movies...
<Shatai> You could start by spelling genius right ;)
<QuaKed_Oatmeal> stfu

<germonik> pot is the one truth in the universe.
<germonik> it will neverget pissed at you and not wanan hang
out.
<germonik> it never freaks out.
<germonik> it never whines.
<germonik> it never argues with you over stupid shit.
<germonik> even if all my friends abandoned me, pot would
still be there for me.
<germonik> pot's a member of my family.
<FDR> That's because it's dead and it lacks the ability to
move.

<Corranfox> GF?
<metroid23> you'll get it eventually...
<Corranfox> guitar freaks
<blazemore> it's not like it'd stand for girl friend.. this IS
#bemani after all

<Tajar> Just a heads up... I may be gone for a few days
<Tajar> Hurricane Lili is heading our way
<Tajar> and they evacuated the town next to us
<Guildenstern> Back up your harddrive just in case
<Tajar> Guildy, I'm unplugging it. And I have zip disks of the
important stuff
<Guildenstern> bout 900
<Kiir> you know you are a computer geek when you have a
hurricane headng your way and the first thing you do is backup
your harddrive

<moira> yoinkster is like the humpback of notre dame
cathedral, except no humpback, and it's the ogg vorbis
cathedral, and he keeps ringing the bells yelling
unintelligible things about how ogg owns your mom

* Kosaku has Lee raped by some random tentacles.
* Lee dies.
<Tash> Shit.
<Tash> Its Rape 'o clock.
<Kyle> ..
<Kyle> What?
<Tash> Oh wait.
<Tash> I'm reading my watch wrong.

<  NewsFlash  > Raw Sewage Spills Into Miami Bay
<zipperface> OoO let's go for a swim!
<zipperface> Might become super heroes.
<CremePuff> right. i call dibs on the Fantastic Condom Man

<cactoid> pr0n is critical internet infrastructure
<cactoid> if pron wasn't flowing freely, ISPs wouldn't need to
upgrade their gear and networking vendors would go out of
business

<Zedium> Sim Life
<Zedium> Pretend to have a life
<The_Cat> dude, that's what IRC is for

<Phillip> hi ex-wife
<Phillip> whats up
<FullySedated> my dick
<FullySedated> why?
<Phillip> never say that again

<LizziBabe> Kiri!  I got something you just *gotta* have!
<Lazarus> Lizzi: Sex?

<XtG|HW> and only an uncle would beat the shit out of the
great hio after hio hit a manoower truck
<TheGreatHio> manoower?
<XtG|HW> manoower
<TheGreatHio> i think you mean Manure
<XtG|HW> no
<XtG|HW> manoower
<TerraxNovae> WTF is that
<XtG|HW> poop
<XtG|HW> manoower
<TerraxNovae> BWAHAHAH   MANURE!
<XtG|HW> shit.

<jeremy^> everything i know about genetics, i learned from
beverly hills 90210 and other aaron spelling classics. :)
<jeremy^> oh, and biology class
<jeremy^> but i mean come on

SilverErek: ever smoke a hash brown dude?
Presuhn316: no
SilverErek: try it
SilverErek: see what it does to ya
Presuhn316: i'll pass
SilverErek: heh weak
SilverErek: i thought we were pals :-(
Presuhn316: not really
SilverErek: why not:-(
SilverErek: are you upset with me
Presuhn316: no, i just think you're a moron

(Segment7) You cant buy happiness.
(Segment7) but you can lease it for $10,000/month

<pinkeh> females are too confusing :/ theres no where where
you can hold it and press "quick save" incase something goes
wrong :/

<JigglyHandle> Who's the cockless drunk running my ISP?!
<K-Ecchi> You called?

<@Megaman> All your base are belong to us
* Arrow sets mode: +b *!*Donnyku@*
* Megaman was kicked by Arrow (That joke is now 2 years, 6
months, 8 days, 5 hours, 30 minutes, and 8 seconds old. Let it
die.)

<Diablo-D3> I think I will go to bed
<Diablo-D3> Nothing else to do anymore but sleep
<Diablo-D3> besides working on software
* Diablo-D3 hates working on software, anyhow
* Diablo-D3 sighs
(---about 10 minutes pause---)
<Diablo-D3> yay, everyone ignores me
<RichiH> you are sleeping
<RichiH> you don't exist any more
<RichiH> you just dream that you are in front of your box and
irc
<RichiH> in truth you are being raped by giant snails

OhTheCommotion: But checking accounts lead to credit cards,
and we both know what credit cards lead to
ardenthechicken: "LOTS OF FREEE STUFF!!!!!!! ^_^"
OhTheCommotion: RIGHT ON!

<Nope> how fast does semen travel?
<Dzza> slow
<Dzza> takes 9 months to reach the breast

<ufodude> im trying to find a good place to get linux. i tried
www.astakavista.com and i just got lost there with all these
files and shit

SomeNick: if you tell a girl to never call you again and that
she annoys you.... haven't spoke to her in over a month and
she's msg'd you a few times on aim but you didn't reply... do
you think calling her and telling her it was all a big joke is
believable?