bash.org archive

[4th]Tortu: i've never had a single STD...but i think it's
cause you have to have sex to get em

< jv> personally, who the fuck cares either way.
<@phar> baby jesus cares
< jv> baby jesus is a pussy. always with the crying.

Phanth: What is Black and Red and can't get through a revoling
door?
Kono: what?
Phanth:A Nun with a spear through her head
Dev: LOL
Kono: ROFL

<PapaWo|f> any girls care to chat with 17/m/Van/Lamer/zits for
days/hideously overweight/naked right at this moment spanking
off to animal porn? msg me

<Avie> the only effect that videogames have had on my morals
is deciding what weapon I would kill someone with if I did

<MrSaturn> oh yeah, and I've run a shopping cart into John
Romero
<MrSaturn> on accident, of course ... but when I saw who it
was, I almost did it again
<MrSaturn> my first thought was "damn slow hippie woman"
<MrSaturn> then he turns around.
<Trikky_Dikk> After he turned around, I still would have
thought, "Damn slow hippie woman."

<SumGeye> I met God once.
<Bern> Ok...
<SumGeye> Yeah. He was on the same bus as me. He smelt like
whiskey.

<mightyflo> i still want the milli vanilli cd
<mightyflo> the only place i've seen it is a smoky as hell
pool hall
<scummo> Dr Q's.
<scummo> I go there specifically to play that entire CD all
the time!!!
<scummo> And the best part is, all the people there never get
that I was the one who put it on
<scummo> So they always strike up conversation like "Haha.. I
wonder who the faggot who put this shit on was.."
<scummo> especially when I had the whole long-haired rocker
image

<stupidMM> A District council must have designed woman.
<stupidMM> Only a they would put a playground next to a sewage
plant

<mrfrosty> From: [email protected]
<mrfrosty> Subject: Learn the secrets of the rich!
<mrfrosty> [-- Error: unexpected end of file! --]
<mrfrosty> he's a tosser
<mrfrosty> i had the secrets of the rich in my grasp
<mrfrosty> i feel like a shakespearean tragedy
<mrfrosty> actually it's jsut these tights
<mrfrosty> and this shoulder length wig
<mrfrosty> and nothing to do with the injustices perpetuated
upon me by [email protected]
<mrfrosty> (who shall be known as cunt from this moment forth)

<Sumez> Eminem has really deep lyrics
<Sumez> and amazing well written sohpisticated jokes
<Sumez> like "you fag blow me"

<Celestar> They have found an enourmous security hole in
Microsofts VPN implementation on all Win2000 and WinXP
versions
<RichiH> Celestar: did they have enough free space on the bug
list to add it?

({emily}): ACK! Amazon.com's gold box offer today contains CSE
Natural Menopause Relief
({emily}): wtf?!
(Gwydion-): O.o
({emily}): then deodorant
({emily}): so I'm smelly and old.  lovely.
({emily}): and oooh, a yoga mat.
({emily}): smelly, old, and out-of-shape
({emily}): where do I put in my credit card number?

<Jimmothy> i have girl hands
<Jimmothy> and nice nails to match
<@D1> the better to handle my ballz
<Jimmothy> anyone can hold peanuts D1
<@D1> ;[

<highdrow> when you finally get to the end of all the spam
<highdrow> it's kind of dissapointing that there isn't more to
delete
<highdrow> ;

<Slant> In the process of arguing for chinese food
<Slant> I appear to have slipped my guilt in .. err ..
inability to cook food.
<Slant> If it reaches the complexity of boiling water, I don't
have the attention span.
<Slant> As such, we have had a few vict.. err .. accidents
around the house.
<Slant> So it looks like I'll be eating ramen tonight. Worse,
I'll be eating it carefully monitored.

<XvoiD> We need more members for the forums. I've told all my
friends now tell all yours. Im sure they will love it here.
Come on and help out the forums.
<debian_> What if people start to advertise and the forums get
a flood of people like Ra... noobs.
<thomas> what if we became an elite group of forumers who took
over the world by sticking together in a pack of small
numbers, fighting the odds, and defeating cobra commander
whenever possible?

<Scofco> I have the ass of a homosexual
<Scofco> shame I'm not gay
<Scofco> I'd make a good gay guy

<Doctor_Vamp> damnit!!
<Doctor_Vamp> i got an orange dick
<Doctor_Vamp> i shouldn't eat doritos and masturbate

(@sno) Emacs can mow down forests too. But it mows down
forests with the passing of its fat, bloated ass.

* mod7t9z730 has joined #sojaHASH
<mod7t9z730> ehe lets spam these soja lamas ;)
<mod7t9z730> oops wrong chan
<+CHiPiTA> lmao
* sH_Lime sets mode +b *!*@pD9E7C066.dip0.t-ipconnect.de
*** mod7t9z730 has been kicked by sH_Lime (wrong chan)

<LayMon> PH33r me
<themage> AAAAHHHHHHHHH!
<LayMon> woot
<LayMon> i am pheered
* LayMon ([email protected]) Quit (Read error: 54 (Connection
reset by peer))
<themage> oooh, I though you said "PEER me" ... my bad

*** Malrothien was kicked by Malrothien (this rooms too ghey
for me)
<Mardom> whoa shit
<Mardom> you can kick yourself?
<Mardom> thats deep

<Want3840> yes, i thought brownouts were caused by excessive
use of electricity without an adequate supply
<een> i don't personally care why they happen, cuz i just know
that they do
<Want3840> according to the weather channel, as you say, they
happen more during storms
<Want3840> oh!
<Want3840> i figured it out
<een> YAY
<Want3840> during storms lightning strikes, and lightning uses
up all the electricity!
<Want3840> duh

<BuSteR> afk my eyes are bleeding from this intense
conversation

*** Now talking in #christian
<ircbuddy> :matrix.de.eu.dal.net 432 ircbuddy irc-pope
:Non-Ethical nickname
<ircbuddy> Even DALNet knows that the pope is 'non-ethical' :P
<BiblThmpr> excuse me

<Khrosscpp> If by "whup" you mean "penetrate until colon
rupture", I'm way ahead of you.

<k0reany0> hey it's been long time since I've talked to you.
<Xilokumsh0t> let's meet up and have a beer sometime
<k0reany0> sure.  btw how is your wife nancy doing?
<Xilokumsh0t> her name is suzy
<k0reany0> who cares!

(bovril): i realised yesterday
(bovril): that every old lady you walk past in the street
probably fancies you
(bovril): :(
(doggie^): yeah
(doggie^): one was checking me out in marks and spencers the
other week
(doggie^): then she licked her lips at me
(doggie^): i was weirded out for days
(bovril): if thats not a strong argument for euthenasia i dont
know what is

<m0bi_work> what is the "care for the comfort of a dying
person" called
<hydro-> euthanasia

<CapnKev> btw, chicks really dig a man with a palmpilot.
<goosedaemon> really?
<piman> Yeah. Do they politely excuse themselves rather than
blatently run away?

<[d]-kCmCg-> at least your computer didnt lock up like a
nervous virgin on prom night....

<AlbinoEatpod> You both need to get MSN, so we can have
multi-user chats.

<Entriech> Theatre tickets are 91$ at the cheapest?
<Entriech> Jesus Christ.
<Entriech> What do they think I am, made of money?
<Entriech> Cause even if I was, that's like sawing my dick in
half for theatre tickets.

*** tanner has joined #support
<Tabby_Tech> Welcome to ISP Support Chat, How can we help you?
<tanner> i need a good dildo site to go to
<@jeff-ISP-away> tanner why dont you go away
<Tabby_Tech> tanner: you should find a search engine like
www.google.com
<Tabby_Tech> tanner: we don't provide support for things like
that
<tanner> then what
<tanner> do i type in dildo shop
<Tabby_Tech> tanner: you type in whatever you want to search
for in the search window
* @jeff-ISP-away thinks tanner is a little kid who learned a
new word today
<tanner> I am 20 and i am a sexy woman
<@jeff-ISP-away> uh huh
<tanner> i am
<@jeff-ISP-away> and one who is about to be without an
internet connection if you do not stop asking those questions
in here
*** tanner has left #support

<+ [Frost2] > fuck theres something in my eye
<psychicbug> frost got a cumshot in the eye
<psychicbug> ...again
<@ [ArtForz]> he prolly saw it cumming
<psychicbug> hahaha
<+ [Frost2] > you guys are sick k thx

<sin|away> wanna see a turtle ride a slug?
<sin|away> compile a vb program in wine

<Masoumi> guys do you know what 133t means?
<Zandog> ít mëâñ§ í'££ fµ¢kíñg hâ¢k ÿøµ® ß®âíñ§

<qrg> how do they deal with dice rolling
<cmplx> you need vr dice. they're usb.
<cmplx> then you put on these special glvoes
<cmplx> and roll them acrtoss a vr desk.
<cmplx> no, ass, you click a button and the dice are rolled
for you
<qrg> i meant the randomization
<qrg> of the dice being rolled
<orion> i've never heard of a computer spitting out a random
number
<orion> or a random quote
<orion> never.
<nyisles> qrg: cat /dev/urandom
<orion> thus, random numbers from dice == impossible
<orion> it's not like computers generate photorealistic motion
pictures
<orion> or perform millions and billions and trillions of
intense calculations per second
<orion> i seriously doubt they could simulate die being rolled
<orion> i mean jesus, they control the stockmarket and most
modern finance, big business, corporations
<orion> but as far as picking two random numbers from 1 to 6
<orion> it's fucking unfathomable.
<cmplx> until computers can acccurately model the behavior of
a giant glob of cum entering the earth's atmosphere, computer
science has failed.

Xith: I didn't know shit could be digitaly transfered
UPC747|Rob: yeah
BouncyFish: It's called the internet.

<Lord-Data> chmod 777 is the kinda thing i do on my own
personal box when i cant be fucked figureing out what the
perm's SHOULD be
<Lord-Data> which is, sadly, most of the time

<CiXeL> america where a poor black boy can grow up to become a
rich white woman
<CiXeL> michael jackson

dsp/#nz2600 boggles at chick logic , "i know you're upset with
me, and that
upsets me, which is why i'm bitchy at you"
-dsp, nz2600

<caNcer_b0y> my boy just shit in the can for the first time :)
<route> lol congrats
<caNcer_b0y> its a HUGE step for him :)
<route> heh i can imagine
<dr_binks> how old is he?
<caNcer_b0y> 2.5
<dr_binks> see route, if a 2yr old can do it, why cant u?
<route> cause i like my nappy's

<neored13> It's weird. I can masturbate all day with little to
no ill effects, but I swing an axe for a few minutes and my
hands ache.

<Bane|Gone> that's ok...i had a dream once that a friend came
over in the morning and was stabbing me in the nutsack.  then
i woke up and it turned out that a spring in my mattress had
broken and was poking through.

* True_Yoshi kicks his keyboardtkgenfouj.

<becky> 18 f* Pic on Profile
<kari> hey becky?.. what does * mean?
<martha> kari, it means she hasnt completed her operation yet

<Ouroboros> suds: You are drunk, we are sober. Why are you
sad?
<suds> i dunno
<suds> maybe cuz all the chicas at the club were so underage
it was like walkin into jail
*** suds has some standards
<suds> noone under 18
<suds> now that i'm 22
<Ouroboros> I only have 2 standards.
<Ouroboros> A left one and a right one.

<Titu§ Crow> does that upset you tsukiyo?
<Titu§ Crow> §)
<Tsukiyo> no
<Tsukiyo> do whatever floats your boat
<Tsukiyo> unless it has to do with me
<Titu§ Crow> I don't have a boat.
<Tsukiyo> swim then
<Titu§ Crow> What the hell are you talking about?

<Dramon_Killer> i watch gay porn
<Dramon_Killer> err
<Dramon_Killer> i meant to say im secure in my sexuality
<Dramon_Killer> like, secure enough to watch it, masturbate
and still like chicks

aznsmilingirl: if u had an accent, what would it be?
AgentScrewball: russian
AgentScrewball: because then i'd sound pissed no matter what i
say

<Kaneda> im downloading furniture for my sims, they have more
of life then I do.

<Sloan_Chanston> I wonder if eating dropped froot loops off a
semen-stained floor is acceptable under the 10-Second Rule
convention
<Yeyende> No, I really dont think it is
<Sloan_Chanston> Too late.
<Yeyende> eeeeewww
<Dredly> No. Fucking. Way.
<Yeyende> That is disgusting Sloan
<Sloan_Chanston> Oh, like neither of you have tasted your own
semen.
<Yeyende> ...
<Yeyende> No, I can't say that I have
<Sloan_Chanston> In liberal California we call that
"self-discovery"

<shigelojoe>Y'know, the NAACP is always complaining about how
black unemployment is up half the time
<shigelojoe>but if you think about it, the last time there
were no unemployed black people in America, they didn't have
benefits to go with it
<shigelojoe>like freedom, for instance

<Xnoia> I chose to believe that argument drove him to
drinking.
<Xnoia> And I chose to claim that a victory.
<@RWolf> And you chose to speak in past tense.
<Xnoia> I do.
<@RWolf> did.
<Xnoia> Damn it!

*** Joins: Tornus
*** ChanServ sets mode: +o Tornus
<+WOJ> It's Tornus.
<@NiteShok> It sure is.
<@GregTG> no it isn't
<@GregTG> [/iraqi information minister]

irc.aol.com Message of the Day - 
irc.aol.com (If you packet us, we will send you a bunch of
cd's)

<freshbob> man, this banana is huge
<freshbob> i don't think bananas this big are natural
<freshbob> they must be genetically engineered or something
<manna> dude, it's not natural, but you have to give your ass
a chance to relax

(Calren): question: if I get three female friends saying they
like me int he space of 3 minutes, does this mean the end of
the world is here?
(@Zaphod): Calren - it means some fucker let the guide dogs
off their leashes again at the blind school

-   quit: (CIA) ([email protected]) (Killed
(NickServ (Ghost command used by FBI)))
(@NSA) OMG GHOST GOVERMENT

<Xoap> HAHAHHA MAONTH YOU ARE HETEROSEXUAL
<Maonth> whatever

<gwend> my 6 key doesnt work half the time ><
<Kiri> my CTRL key types a ` when i press it
<Kiri> lol
<gwend> lol
<Kiri> and my numpad opens internet explorer
<Kiri> or my computer
<Kiri> depends on which number lol
*** Kiri has quit IRC (Read error: 54 (Connection reset by
peer))
<EvilCouch> guess she pushed the wrong number

<Philgone> also what is wrong with keeping your penis in a
woman
* Philgone strokes his cabbage patch doll
<Philgone> toasty warm
<BFG> is her name cynthia veronica picklesbury?
<Philgone> no.. roland

<test4> ive been tied up before with ethernet cable to my
bedpost

<+perl> nerve trauma to the arm is nice
<+sm4k[X-D]> sounds like it
<+perl> im just happy i can still use my hand
<+[TC]Quicksilver> Yeah, I bet your penis is too

<b1u3> i hate those fat/ugly girls who go around wo bras like
theyre playboy bunnies
<b1u3> them: 'im secure with my body!' me: 'im not'

<[m1]> i HATE real world
<[m1]> its a fucking platform for outspoken faggots with a
high school vocabulary
<mrwhite> dave, sounds like irc

<Sphexi_LOTU> Volvo has a new concept car out, designed by
women for women.
<Sphexi_LOTU> It has verticle wing-type doors so women won't
get their dresses torn when getting out, lots of luggage space
for shopping bags, removable seat covers and carpeting so you
can remodel the car at will, and extra large visor mirrors for
applying makeup.
<Sphexi_LOTU> it's going to be extra reliable and maintenance
free, so women won't have to worry about remembering to get
the oil changed or the engine tuned up.
<CaesarMaximus> Volvo swedish quality =)
<Tempest_MD> Does it come with a driver?
<Tempest_MD> (women don't know how to drive)