bash.org archive

<SaintAlvus> I wrote a book on an object that lets you
accelerate the passage of time.
<Bean> What was it called?
<SaintAlvus> Bong Mechanics

<BigSkippy> everybody forgets to turn /away off.
<BigSkippy> I was gone for 3 days once masturbating if you
listen to my /back
message

<Ddamn> watching someone get banned is like watching a retard
throw eggs at an old lady

<r00> man making photoshop swap out on a 512MB system is like
hitting cervix with a 2" penis
<r00> forget i said that

<cranefist> i love it when cool bands cover madonna
<zed> So that way you don't have to admit that you like
Madonna?

<cynical`> Math was cool until it's homosexual friend algebra
came along

<ScumDog> in some ways, I wish I could sit around picking
bananas all day

<DA_BUTCHER> Annie will you marry me?
<DA_BUTCHER> I don't care what gender you are!
<|Annie|> shizz
<DA_BUTCHER> I'm Greek
<|Annie|> that's like the 6th time someone's asked me that in
here
<|Annie|> I'll get back to you k ._.
<Scotch> It's your own fault for making your gender so obvious
in your nick
<DA_BUTCHER> yes but the others would freak out if you turned
out to be a 30 year old wrestler named Bernard

<mantid> outlander, it's a simple analog controller
<warptail> like my wang.

<alicetr> is anyone good with win2k networking?
<fatbrain> alicetr: just ask
<MBoffin> Maybe he did ask. Maybe he's doing a survey.

<endura> winme is like wrapping ur penis in pink saran wrap
and dipping it in melted crayons, then in a freezer and
shattering it with a brick

<Hardlined> badtz just the man I wanted to see
<Badtz> I didn't do it

belgarion|ESC: what u mean what am i on
belgarion|ESC: im on poverty, its like life but with less
money

<Paulo> What KOF babe has the sexiest navel?
<Angelblade> Is the navel where your thing-thing is supposed
to go?
<K9999> YOUR THING-THING CAN'T GO INTO A NAVEL! Although it
might be an intriguing experience...
<MilleniumWEAPON> Your... thing-thing??? Though it does not go
into the navel too well, I could recommend some "educational"
sites as to where you put your thing-thing, but I'd get
banned...

-!- marlies [[email protected]] has joined #gamesoc
< marlies> ello all
< Jops> welcome to the tumbleweed zone
< kev> o.
< kev>     'o
< kev>                 `o
< kev>                                 o'
< marlies>                                                   
o,
< kev> congratulations, you have won tonights star prize!
-!- marlies [[email protected]] has quit [Client Quit]
< kev> freedom from irc

<@ev-> there was a dog at the gym tonight
<@PookaIN> WHAT WAS HE WORKING ON?

<Kris> Gay men, after diamonds, are a girl's best friend

Nuclear Veasel: That's on the same island as Pearl Harbor,
right?
LiveThLfe: yes, it's all on Kaui (I think that's how you spell
it)
LiveThLfe: No wait...
LiveThLfe: Oahu
Nuclear Veasel: That's one hell of a different spelling...

<comet_11> ooh! 33 new emails
<comet_11> let's see what they are...
<comet_11> product spam, loan spam, loan spam, survey spam,
product spam, sex spam, product spam, virus spam, porn spam,
product spam, product spam, contest spam, loan spam, product
spam, product spam, loan spam, online payment spam, fake porn
virus spam, education spam, product spam, fake contact virus
spam, contest spam, product spam, loan spam, product spam,
product spam, fake virus cleaner virus spam, fake chick email
virus spam, product spam, (cont)
<comet_11> fake update virus spam, fake questionnaire virus
spam, loan spam
<comet_11> you know... it's nice to see some variety in my
emails

<|StuNNa|> !addpeon Murdoc
<Murdoc> hey
<Murdoc> dont you pee on me

<Cosmic_Bard> King-Bob: You're about as articulate as Johnny
cochrane, born an epilleptic claustrophic retard, in a small
room with a strobe light.

Dieldo: Heh no way, the best is Tantric sex
AnalRetribuiton: well i am the master of something i have come
to call
AnalRetribuiton: wtf'ing
AnalRetribuiton: it's where i have sex with a girl finish in 3
seconds and she goes "what the fuck?"
Dieldo: Lol

<Freezed> Just wondering if its possible to download a windows
95/98 source code, or ..

<%Zero> then i broke my wrist in the growth plate twice
<%Zero> once snowboarding
<@mjc> ok.....
<%Zero> and a fat kid fell on me
<@Mike> ROFLMAO
<@mjc> hehehehehehehehehe
<%Zero> :(
<%Zero> it hurt
<%Zero> the kid was running
<%Zero> tripped on his shoe lace
<%Zero> and crushed me
<@Mike> lmao

<prym> little did i know later in my life id come to terms
with things like
31337, 69, and 187

<jalist> im giving lin what i always give her
<jalist> my knob with a ribbon round it
<jalist> maybe one day she'll actually want it
<kuhndog> kind of a small gift dont ya think jalist?

<SteamedHams> heroin should be more widespread. it's like an
off button for morons

[WaRe-WoLf] you know i gotta find a girl, get her pregnant so
i can have a kid to dig around with those cables behind the tv

snachodog: should i be able to see that I timed out?
jestuh: yeah normally you do
jestuh: efnet tries to hold on to you baby
jestuh: keep you warm
jestuh: comfort you
jestuh: hoping you won't leave it's grasp
jestuh: ever.
snachodog: damn clingy girlfriends
snachodog: er
snachodog: servers

<imsuxok> Maybe there'll be some breakthrough in internet
technology
<imsuxok> I hear the powerline stuff is close to being
released commercially
<imsuxok> I'm just worried that it'll overload the outlets in
my old house. I don't feel like burning to death just so I can
download porn faster.

<The_Great_Bob> stupid tv shows, stereotyping asian guys as
horney bastards
<The_Great_Bob> we are not that horny!!!
<Chucklez> .....
<Chucklez> this coming from you, bob?
<The_Great_Bob> yeah, i lost it for a minute there
<The_Great_Bob> back to thinking about sex

(Circastes) hmm
(Circastes) i want to watch tomb raider
(Circastes) but i just jacked off
(Circastes) so it wont be very interesting

CHz16: So, I was trying to figure out why I keep playing Super
Monkey Ball 2.
CHz16: Was it the puzzles? The action? The vibrant landscapes?
CHz16: And then I realized, I didn't need an excuse.
CHz16: You don't need to rationalize making monkeys encased in
clear, plastic balls fall off a level into a lake of fiery
death.
mactigerz: rofl
CHz16: I just hope the ASPCA doesn't find out.

<JohnMaron7> JaySea We believe that the Apostles at the Last
Supper were not drinking wine, for Jesus said to them "This is
My BLOOD".
<JaySea> JohnMaron7: "Oh no!  There's blood in my alcohol
system!"

<andyd> No, I'm not being difficult
<andyd> but it is ACTUALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO BUY LICENSES FOR
SOFTWARE WHEN THE LICENSES HAVE BEEN WITHDRAWN FROM SALE,
<gardron> lol
<gardron> client?
<andyd> I can't tell.  For a moment I thought that it was a
brick wall.

<Ark> ops kick you from th eroom, opers kick you from the
network.  I kick you in the nuts.
<Ark> choose wisely

<Treen> Damnit, why on earth are they making Max Payne 2 a
fricking LOVE STORY?
<Mithrandir> because love is cool
<Exspes> Because everything has to have a love story in it
<Exspes> Lord of the Rings was about Sam and Frodo
<Treen> <_<
* Dr_Nick smacks Ex
<Exspes> Smoochies.
<Exspes> The Hobbit was about Bilbo and that dwarf king
<Exspes> It'd be cool to be able to jump into books
<Treen> ...

*** Amanda sets mode: -s
<DAL9000> i feel naked now.

<diegost> omfg lol
<diegost> i tried to change my gmail pass to "boobies" and it
went like...
<diegost> "please use another password, the one you hv just
entered is very used on the internet" ^^

<eller> i ate sushi today
<eller> i hoped that it would cure my hangover
<eller> but i just puked it up
<motardo> not good
<eller> raw fish is even more disgusting when it comes out of
your mouth...
<eller> it swims in the toilet on its own.

<Marticus> i am perusing wil wheatons web log
<toe2toe> What is "being fucking bored and running out of
things to do on the internet"
<toe2toe> oh sorry...  i thought this was jeopardy there for a
second

<Kyle|> I AM THE MOST STRONGER PROGRAMMING MEN IN THE
WORLD!!!!!

<Minion> I think I might have genital herpes.
<Minion> Holy fucking shit
<Minion> Why does herpes.com have a dating service?
<Minion> "I got genital herpes! Better go spread it!"

*** Lachlann was kicked by Gromph (omg , are u illeterate?)

harleyb: we're not dumb like that up in canda
harleyb: and we can also spell our countrie's name
harleyb: and use proper everything
harleyb: *country's

<Mr-Ikari> X is being evil on my laptop :(((
<adrian> you have to shake it to clear the screen

<Hito> Golden showers, fecal, fisting, bondage, S&M,
cock-pumping, beastiality, dead people, babies, women,
children, men, stuffed animals, trees, etc.
<Chubbzilla> ¤¦Hito¦¤ nice weekend planned

<taglin>   ok, so te pretty menu came up and is asking you to
add drives?
<suds>   yeh
<suds>   done that
<taglin>   k... whats next?
<suds>   weee
<suds>   hang on a sec...
<suds>   need more rum+coke+spritz of lime
<suds>   :)
<taglin>   heh
<taglin>   i think some of the problems with this crazy
install could be alcohol related

<TsB-Thuggish> i hate it when you can't explain what i mean

<bitchcunt> for the love of god, kathleen, he doesn't care
about your hair! and if he does, maybe he should be going out
with your brother.

[Shinji] my pants are pretty disturbed too!
[Shinji] then again, you'd be pretty disturbed if you spent
your life this close to my crotch.

<DoctorRiff> captain planet didnt teach me to save the earth,
it taught me to stab hippies for giving me crap cartoons

<Ryutaro> hard minty eyedrops?
<Ryutaro> WTFD
<miharu> oO
<miharu> WTF... D?
<miharu> What The Fuckwouldjesus Do?

<DrNick668> HI EVERYBODY
<datacide> don't shout
<datacide> my head hurts
<datacide> please

<m477[LainOS]> Phone call: "I can't get online" Sir do you use
AOL? "Yes" It's working then

<[_pitch_]> florida is shaped like a big droopy dick for a
reason...

<buzgub> so what you actually wanted to do was change doom?
<damnerror> yes
<damnerror> I didnt know it was C
<damnerror> I thought most games were written in Macromedia

<TunkeyMicket> who wants to go shower up and jerk each other
off...its heterosexual if we all think about women
<El_Cid> Tunkey u sick sicko sick of sickness.......I love it,
when can we?

(bannsheebot): I was so distracted by this banner ad, I typed
my login password into the url field.
(Ntruder): hah
(bannsheebot): it shows this little kid smacking his forehead,
and the word "College" next to him.
(Ntruder): someone somewhere deserves a marketing award

<dk> im trying out tantric peeing

<MeTh|pizzza> ack! i think some1 is tryin 2 break into my
house! i just saw a kladder go by the window...
<ddrfreak> really?
<MeTh|pizzza> in other chan...
<ddrfreak> somoene is trying to break into your house in the
other channel?

<verb`> baby blue pumas are guy shoes?
<Twilo`> yes
<molesto> i might not know how to dress, but i know how not to
invite a serial assfucking by the entire crew of an aircraft
carrier
<Twilo`> baby blue isnt a girls color
<molesto> <Twilo`> baby blue isnt a girls color
<verb`> any color preceded by baby is a girl color
<molesto> i'll pretend you didn't say that
<Twilo`> dude u serious?
<molesto> any colour preceded by baby gets you on the
paedophile register
<Twilo`> u stuck in the 90's?
<molesto> no i'm stuck back in the days when people that wore
shoes like that didn't have anuses like exit wounds

<sm4k> i wish you could record dreams
<sm4k> i'd have the best porn

[@haro] 220-You are connected to our server, please note that
[@haro] all hack attempts are reported to the FBI.
[@haro] lol, right..
[@haro] a israeli site, reporting to the fbi

<ScottY> I think you're number 65344 that asks me to beam them
up... please stop that, it's annoying!'
<Rain> that's what you get for taking the nick scotty

denisbaldwin: I think I love you...
denisbaldwin: So what am I so afraid of...
denisbaldwin: I'm afraid that I'm not sure of...
denisbaldwin: A love there is no cure for.
alexusslave: like herpes?

<@:s4t4n> #christian can't join channel (channel is full)
<@:s4t4n> guess no one else is gettin into heaven!

<milenko> brand new gaming pc $2500
<milenko> upgrades to play the latest games $500
<milenko> losing your girlfriend  $0  
<milenko> having a state of the art rig and spending all of
your time bumming around on irc with other losers just like
you PRICELESS

Dr SpaZZo: Why the hell do they call it fox undercover when
they just go up to the people on the street and go "WHY R U
SWINDALING TEH COMMUN PUBLIK :-("