bash.org archive

<Amanda`> I'm not taking a shower today.
<Amanda`> bastards in class won't know what hit them.
<Guilty> At least take a dip in the swimmin' hole

<Lynyc> that's so last month
<Nine> last month? they made it on the 23rd
<Measure> OF LAST MONTH

<Masa> I never had a brother I could fight with
<Masa> very unsatisfactory
<Kevyn> I punched my sister once. Heh.
<Kevyn> I was too young to know better.
<Masa> and I couldnt hit my sister too much
<Kevyn> Pow, right in the nose.
<waffle> you're quite the enlightened male
<Kevyn> Eh. I love my family and that's how I show it.
<Kevyn> I can't wait to have kids.
<Kevyn> I'm gonna beat their fucking asses.

<NoAzRk> So everyday I make my pb&j when I get home. One night
I wake up for a snack and go to the kitchen. Moms smeared
peanut butter and has the dog lapping.
<Argmyeye> sick! what did you do?
<NoAzRk> I made a fucking pb&j when she was done. I was
hungry.

<Ashe> I'm really busty this summer, with School and the trip
to Colorado.
<Ashe> busy
* Dingy feels busty this spring

<josh> I was on this conf one time and they were doing 3way
calling to prank call grocery stores, and this chick would ask
if they had keilbasa, then ask if it would be good for
'experimenting" with
<josh> this one guy was like "yeah, it'd work good for that"

<hitman> and
<hitman> UNLIKE RageFury...
<hitman> I do do guys.
<hitman> er
<hitman> don't
<hitman> heh
<hitman> man
<ambrosia> lol
<hitman> that was a bad typo
* ambrosia pages dr. freud

<@debaser> so
<@debaser> i'm kinda looking forward to seeing the passion
<blister> the question is though: which bitch is going to get
naked in this story (the hotty from Braveheart == win!)
<Azra`el> jesus died a virgin man
<Azra`el> remember?
<Pi> Azra`el: but Jesus got tempted like a mofo
<Pi> so some chick's probably all "let's sex0r" and he's all
"get thee behind me"
<blister> if they did that
<blister> i'd go see it

<TreFitty> bloodClot`, I remember when you made fun of my
viewsonic monitor
<TreFitty> :(
<bloodClot`> you remember a lot of weird shit that never
happened

<cognac> i've discovered some serious design flaws regarding
the human body!
<cognac> you see, we got two or more of almost all body
parts..
<cognac> like ears, eyes, arms, legs, fingers, toes ++
<cognac> however, for the things that we REALLY like to do,
like eating and fucking, we're only equipped with one tool
<cognac> or perhaps my discovery is just the answer to why we
like oral sex and why "american pie" was made?

<kryz> You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to build me
the ultimate weapon of mass l33tness. Instead of some lame
chemical or nuclear POS, it's going to be a giant bomb of ice
cream. So when It hits, there will be no collateral damage,
but everyone will have the biggest ice cream headache. Then I
will win the prizes.

<special-k> woohoo sodomy law changed
<`rush> FUCK YEAH

<j03bl0w> I did a /ignroe *@* CHAN in one window earlier today
and only just realised, it worked in every window, and i've
had EVERY channel I've been in on ignore today ..
<j03bl0w> No fucking wonder I was bored
<j03bl0w> I just thought "strange, no ones talking today"
<j03bl0w> fucking hell.

<Jon^D> if I was gay and in ireland I'd score with gav
<Jon^D> he's my hero
<Jon^D> he'd probably have to be gay too mind
<arioch> those repressed homosexual tendencies are coming to
the surface now
<Jon^D> I wish I was gay

<TFA|MikeRotch> it's that Yamaha CRW-D1
<TFA|MikeRotch> F1 I ean
<TFA|MikeRotch> mwena
<TFA|MikeRotch> god damn
<TFA|MikeRotch> my fingers are getting to dat
<TFA|MikeRotch> fat
<TFA|MikeRotch> I need to go on a diet just so I can type
properly on IRC
<TFA|FulDog> haha
<v3ktor> rofl

nih: I've had it with young girls.. often emotionally
underdeveloped, insecure and terrible in bed
nih: feel free to prove me wrong ;)
Ruth: lol
Ruth: nah, i agree with you
Ruth: young girls are terrible in bed
nih: they get better once they hit puberty

<Taz^> i seen your picutre
<Taz^> your like what 14 or 15
<Kevin666> 14, and alot smarter then you, in meny ways

<redhook> <--- 22
<redhook> and I got a 7 year old on my nuts, how pathetic
<redhook> s/7/17/
<redhook> that looked bad

<Blue> drunk girls are easier than programming
<JC|WooWoo> blue just can't program

< zeedo> now the use of nmap in the matrix reloaded, that was
leetnes
in a movie
< mcp33p4n75> and ssh
< zeedo> an ssh exploit no less
< setenv> oh yea and the crc32 vulnerability
18:02:37 < zeedo> I paused it and started explaining it to my
gf, she just
looked at me like I was a moron

<ismell> drove like 2.5 hrs
<travolta> 15 year olds can drive?
<ismell> permit
<MattDC> shit smelly, where do you live
<ismell> colorado
<travolta> they let kids do anything in colorado, like have
guns and trench coats

<@a> i should get "butt plug" tattooed on my cock

<Heather> penises are scary =/
<Kevyn> how so?
<Heather> they feel weird.
<Kevyn> how do they feel?
<Heather> like the rubber lizard in spencer's.

<PhD> i got woken up by a freakin woodpecker today
<PhD> i thought someone was knocking :-(
<Katlizy> doesnt every guy get one of those in the morning?

<antonio> yeah, i whipped out the binder for this one kid who
thought he misunderstood me when i said "satan"
<kisama> how i wish i could have been there
<kisama> to see the look on a man's face when you whip out a
self portrait of the devil
<kisama> and say "SATAN DID MY HOMEWORK"

<mrfy> "If you're a technology early adopter, but you're not
in the first wave of 'bleeding edge' users, then you're on the
scabby edge (where the bleeding edge has crusted over, but
it's still raw)."
<Rascal> this is why johnny come latelies get picked on

<@Afterglow> .  I also have a familiarity with local area
networks, including DHCP, DNS, penis, and Microsoft networking
file shares.

* Arielana flashes Anvile
<Anvile> omg i saw e-breasts

<eastwood[i]> get wasted ..come back and get some
<Booger> mmm, some

<deathscout> did she like its size?
<Medic911> not at first. It grew on her

<Jin|ForSale> I HAVE NO USE FOR MONEY
<Jin|ForSale> (unless it is a lot)

<FrogboY> i hate this, i have pretty much no transfer limit
for the next 9 days and can't think of anything to download
<Rambo_6> get a virus
<Rambo_6> or fill your harddrive with beastiality
<Rambo_6> whichever comes first

<mercury> CANADA: WE PUT THE "U" IN SATIRE

*** Sipx ([email protected]) has joined #aol
<kas> do you enjoy cox?
<Sipx> hm
<Sipx> its OK
<Sipx> not really though
<Sipx> im in rhode island.
<kas> is cox big in rhode island?
<Sipx> yes, it is

<irq> what acronym is posv?
> Pirates of Silicon Valley.
<irq> ah yes
> And it sucks, because I actually had a decent tape.
> Then I loaned it to a co-worker, whose wife interpreted
"silicon" as "silicone," got the wrong idea, and threw it out.

<TriviaBot> WHAT IS HANSEN'S DISEASE MORE COMMONLY KNOWN AS ?
<TriviaBot> HINT : @@@@@@@
<moodlet> shitty taste in music

Aria: So you heard about the software failure on the space
shuttle that caused the windshield to crack?
Aria: The programmers explained it that with so many holes, at
that altitude, windows sucks bad.
Vruba: Now /that's/ a BSOD.
Bodger: Talk about breathtaking incompetence.

<`2c^Husemoller|Kazi> pm me if u know some good ftps for
movies
<coene|awake> ftp://this:[email protected]
<`2c^Husemoller|Kazi> is that up right now?

<pHluid-> And that theoretical cap of 12k/sec, I've never seen
it. 8k/sec is the tops I ever saw moving text around, except
for that one mystical time when the moon was aligned properly.
:
<Tom> sometimes if I drink goats blood thats still warm and
cut fresh from the goat I get 800k/s
<datacide> i have sacrificed virgins and managed an extra 0.1
kb/s
<datacide> in the end i decided it is better to defile them
<datacide> gives you more on the long run
<pHluid-> datacide: That's because virgins create line noise.

<Ludwig> thats amazing, how a company can charge you extra for
what you shoulda gotten originally
<Ludwig> its like buying a hamburger, getting the buns only,
then having to pay more for the meat
<@Gaile[diinet]> Ludwig, you're wrong, clear and simple
<Ludwig> only thing clear and simple is getting through your
panties
*** Ludwig was kicked by Gaile[diinet] (Gaile[diinet])

<th0m> i've had cocaine stuck in my ass since then
<PTM> *snort*

idrinkdeodorant> what OS are u using?
kingart3> i just use the computer

< 04+Makkavelli> damn it all
* +Makkavelli is back from "Carefully soldering a mod chip
into my PS2." I was gone for 1hr 51mins <+Makkavelli> As soon
as my dad saw what I was doing, he tried to "help"
<+Makkavelli> His version of "help" was to burn through the
fucking laser cable
<+Makkavelli> with the soldering iron
<+Makkavelli> Son of a bitch

<ian__> I feel like an idiot sitting here with my face 5" away
from the monitor with my eyes crossed trying to see a picture
of a mans asshole hidden in a jpeg.

<Dayv> Australia is basically Canada with marsupials and funny
hats.

--> Sunny ([email protected]) has joined #gtk+
<Sunny> hello every one
<Sunny> can anyone tell me waht to choose QT or GTK+

<systick> my diet consists of anything I can get my hands on
<apeiron> so you eat your dick?

<BLackGuyFrom_Canada> who is asl?

<Mad|Mungkee> I was playing everquest once and this guy killed
himself with a shotgun and broadcasted it in East Commons
<Mad|Mungkee> pretty sad
<brasshorse> did his elf die

<haole-writing> did you ever read my story, vampress?
<Vampress> I'm sorry I didn't get a chance yet
<Vampress> it's sitting on my nightstand
<Vampress> staring at me everyday
<Ragnarok> haole must have put a lot of himself in that story

[GOD]Smithereens> Condoms are VERY good if you don't have any
water balloons near you
[GOD]Smithereens> Don't EVER try the other way around though.
Xyranius> It's not fun>_<

« Mo0ze » ye u better not be sucking on your own penis again
«@ young_einstein» i tried but im not flexible enough
<CrashMan79> Mwa ha ha ha ha ha.....
«@ Octalus» I wish i could suck my own penis
<CrashMan79> I don't
<CrashMan79> who knows where it's been

< Bayls > Sheesus. Was it this dead -before- I got here? :)
< annie > yeah
< Bayls > Hmmm, musta been. Weird, I didn't see any Star Trek
marathons on tonight.

<soul|FL> say hypothetically yesterday i bought a life size
buffy blow up doll and had sex with it

[HyperKinetic] They ate each other, they moaned. They were
zombies

<Cam> its good thing kids don't get all their sex ed from porn
flicks, cuz its more difficult to conceive when you always
blow your load on her face.

* Schroe enjoys the benifits of dial-up
<ZRaven> benifits?
<Schroe> In between page loads, I have time to clean various
parts of this eternally dirty house.

<BBR-SpeZ> do you know in mexico its illegal to wash your sink
on a sunday
<BBR-SpeZ> just so you know
<BBR-SpeZ> making sure you dont, ya know, go washing any sinks
in mexico
<BBR-SpeZ> i know what they r like, wave $50 in your face and
tempt you with a washcloth
<BBR-SpeZ> 'go on buddy you know you wanna try it, just
imagine all that dirt just sliding away....'
<BBR-SpeZ> i was a 20 sinks a day man :(

<rone> OH BY THE WAY WE'RE BEING ACQUIRED.  AGAIN.
<rone> hey, at least we didn't merge with tab.net
<PetrDoubt> Yes, we did.
<PetrDoubt> Verio owns tabnet.
<rone> o fuck

<Straylight> THIS JUST IN: Never trust your 9 year-old
daughter with a babysitter named "Penishead McMurphy"
<Straylight> you cant trust those Micks

<Oolong> you know, i read somewhere that botulism is powerful
enough, if like 10 milligrams of it got in the water supply,
to kill everyone in a town the size of new york city
<Oolong> i wonder what marketing genius thought, "hey, maybe
if women inject this into their lips, it will make them plump
and kissable"
<Oolong> it scares me to think that there might be an
underground lab somewhere discovering the cosmetic benefits of
anthrax

<fmadero> banshee what service starts submission??
<loucura> fmadero: bdsmServ

<sothis> theres nothing quite like the feeling of a 60 year
old woman shoving her cold, gloved, ky-jellied-up fingers up
your vagina trying to touch your cervix

<Tovart> "She sees that he is ready to splash white liquid, so
she attaches
his penis on her nipple"
<Dareon> O_o Oh, those inscrutable Orientals...
<Zephy> lol. "With a staplegun"

<+MegamanX2K> buh
<@Dragon_Ninja> HIya X
<+MegamanX2K> Diablo 2 pisses me off
<@Dragon_Ninja> what is pissing you off about it now?
<+MegamanX2K> stupid fucking Venom Lord rush
<+MegamanX2K> who do they think they are, Zerg?
<@Dragon_Ninja> LOL
<+MegamanX2K> god, I was waiting for Diablo to go
"KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE ^______________________^"

JokingClown: I want to have a "wall plug" (electrical socket)
surgically implanted into my skin.
JokingClown: Maybe on my side, above my hip.
JokingClown: It would have to actually work or anything... Itd
just be funny to see people stare.
JokingClown: I wonder how much a surgery like that would
cost...
SpyBreak: :|
JokingClown: Insurance wouldnt cover it, because its cosmetic
SpyBreak: WAAAAY too much time on your hands. go look at porn
or something.

Blade: "it was extremely unusual and we really wanted to find
out why this thing had - what we call - burst"
Blade: please explain this obscure phenomenon known as burst
Blade: to the laypeople like myself
Blade: i don't understand this parlance
Blade: technical jargon isn't my forte
Blade: scientific lingo baffles me

<Rhombus> Rich fat cats hoarding sleep
<Rhombus> cheap taiwanese sleep flooding the market

<Mug> ncencence
<Deke> i think you mean unceunceunceunce
<Deke> if you're going to be an unce'ing wanker, at least do
it right
<Hiroechan> unce?
<Hiroechan> unf?
<Hiroechan> you aussies have got all sorts of weird noise
sounds
<^WaR^Zzz> wtf is unce :)
<Deke> unce is the noise a wog's car makes as it drives past
<Deke> the techno bass beat
<Deke> "unceunceunceunce"
<Deke> nothing like unf
<Hiroechan> heh
<Hiroechan> i was going to suggest: Universal Noise of Cock
Eating
<Deke> lmao