bash.org archive

(fishead) "I fucked your girlfriend and all I got was this
lousy t-shirt... and crabs"
(TwinX) " I got a handjob from Cunty McChicken and then he
made me BUY this fuckin t-shirt."

<mindlace> i ate a pig that had probably been tortured its
entire life before finally being put out of its misery in a
festering pile of its screaming kin.
<space> i mean, part of the fun of having a pet is being able
to interact with it

<JonyBlaze> u have anyideas why a computer wouldnt boot the
slack cd
<drw> good taste?

<rone> please speak in whole sentences.  thanks.
<rone> because this
<rone> is fucking annoying
<rone> to read.

<Z-U> how do u say that u r leaving
<Z-U> ?
<Xelloss> bye typing "i'm leaving" without the quotation marks
<Z-U> oh

<h4ndb07> {MoxQuizz} The question no. 32 by PaulMcCartney is:
<h4ndb07> (Quick! Quick!) What key is to the right of T on a
keyboard?
<Allio> r

*** Vor sets mode: -b *!*f@*.ipt.aol.com
*** Vor (disposable@=Uun814-ye4.cvx1-a.lei.dial.ntli.net) Quit
(nexus.ca.us.webchat.org sauron.ca.us.webchat.org)
<Yates> thats what you get for unbanning aol.

<Ac3d> i guess this isn't TOO bad..i mean it could be worse...
<Ac3d> I only have to re-install my modem everytime i want to
get on the net

<Gunslinger> The current version of Land Warrior had been
intended for operational use in 2004. Although it has been
much improved over earlier prototypes, the system was deemed  
unreliable  and unlikely to survive the rigors of combat.
<Gunslinger> He explained that LW has three basic  assemblies,
the helmet, the body and the weapons. The helmet assembly
has a wireless antenna, a helmet mounted display and a helmet
interface assembly. The body assembly has a GPS receiver, a
navigation box, a 500-megahertz rugged com-
<Gunslinger> puter operating Windows 2000, another smaller
computer connected to the other PC and a voice-data
communications control set.
<Gunslinger> Their RUnning Windows 2K! HAHAHAHAHAHA
<Gunslinger> We're so fucked...
<Weirdo_God_of_Insanity> aroo?
<KaiserPanda> lol!!
<Takkie> good lord
<Takkie> can you imagine?
<Takkie> "Illegal operation"
<Gunslinger> "Sir, I can't call in for Air support! Should I
Ctrl+Alt+Del?"

<RpgTheIdler> you know, if there was this girl, and she was
all like, "Let's have sex", but I was playing DDR, I'd be all
like "Bitch, can't you see I'm busy?"

fukapuka: im gonna go to my other pc for a bit
idolcrash: ooh your other PC?
idolcrash: where you talk dirty to me and act like your dad?
idolcrash: and I act like some kid in michigan?
idolcrash: and if that is your dad please don't tell me

<TheMaxx> "A Tomahawk cruise missile might have missed its
target in Iraq and landed in southwest Iran"
<TheMaxx> those things are bitch to steer

<Nanobot> I wish I had a girlfriend...
<Nanobot> My only friend is a sock puppet
<Nanobot> Lucky for me though, it has a hole in it

<hit_doctor> Man, I had the longest shit today at work. my
legs went numb

<@Twitch`> i should get "caution: filling is hot" tatooed on
my ass
<@Twitch`> i'd be just like a mcdonalds pie

*** Sickenen
([email protected]) has joined
#cnn
<Sickenen> is the war in Iraq over yet?
<Sickenen> din't pay cable bill and phone was cut off awhile
ago
<DooD> yet he still has broadband

<ZombiiPro> pretty please with a virgin cherry on top

* punxy has joined #emo
<punxy> hi all
<_John> hi
<_John> do you have a vagina?
* punxy has quit IRC (Read error: No route to host)
<_John> asking people if they have a vagina is a new h4x0ring
technique to crash people boxes

<Cantu> whats a SARS? ;[
<FoshM|J1> =/
<FoshM|J1> true..
<acidangel> do u live in a cave cantu lol
<Cantu> n, los angeles
<Cantu> and i dont know all the cute little irc abbreviations
anymore

[suxbad] scott
[suxbad] im coming to visit asheville soon
[@teki] oh god
[@teki] maybe we not get arrested this time

<_molly_> i only shower when i A: smell, or B: fall into the
mudd
<melf> Does B happen a lot ?

<@maroo> I jumped off a bridge into a river once... they asked
me what I was doing... I told them I was LARPing a fish.

<\slick> i hate when girls smile at the camera and act like
they enjoy it in porn
<\slick> ruins my mentality that they are being raped

<aSSMAGGOT> [badpeon_] all humans have to die
<paniq> i dont have to
<paniq> i have won in a lottery for immortality
<wayfinder> i thought you've won a key fob?
<jco> an immortal key fob

<DMAUL-agay> i was gonna watch slackers but im to lazy to put
the cd in.

< MrZippy> BBC: "The brains of thousands of mentally ill
people were illegally removed for research, a report is
expected to reveal."
< MrZippy> Big surprise.
< Leimy> research like what?
< MrZippy> I dunno. Prolly to figure out why crazy people
don't go stealing other people's brains?

<urandom> hrm...do you have kids?
<RangerRick> nope
<urandom> route add -host 192.168.0.5 gw 127.0.0.1 <--- It's
comes to this, the only way I can get them to do their chores

(kap) damn im gassy tonight
(kap) too bad eSmell went out of buisness
(kap) i could punish you guys forever

<AaronAFK> Anyone Active?
<SenorWeir> i am
<Spoon35> I think he meant sexually.

<Boned> ever watched scrambled porn only to learn 5 mins later
that its two guys?

<@j0no> tigerbot_hesh: These are not the brains you are
looking for. Move along.
<tigerbot_hesh> shouldnt that be droids?
<@j0no> You don't really need droids, do you?

<Hunter`> someone has a life long grudge against me
<ineffable> Hunter` : yeah, thats probably god

<+Jenda_away> javascript:OpenPortalContentWin
(110714,%20400,%20550,%20'110714_dragracer.swf',%20'DragRacer%20v2');
<@contagious> Not sure that link is gunna werk;]
<+Jenda_away> www.javascript:OpenPortalContentWin
(110714,%20400,%20550,%20'110714_dragracer.swf',%20'DragRacer%20v2');.com
<@contagious> lol
<@contagious> That one either
<+Jenda_away> hmm
<+Jenda_away> fuck you

<MadHatter> kids are out of school for now...
<MadHatter> that means 2x the takeovers

<+Acksaw> how do you get 100 babies in a bucket?
<+crank> 100?
<+Acksaw> with a blender.
<+crank> auch
<+Acksaw> how do you get them back out?
<+crank> i dunno
<+Acksaw> with doritos

<Taslos>  I know there are no life gaurds on the gene pool,
but God damn it there aught to be at least a few sharks in the
water.

<Jubei301> I want a director's cut version of the matrix where
the red and blue pills are suppositories...

<SLURPee> i remember in yr 9 i questioned something
<SLURPee> ohh about genesis and the order in which it occured
<SLURPee> her response was
<SLURPee> 'as catholics we don't question. we just accept'

<MSN-02> MARCUS!
<MSN-02> HELP!
<MSN-02> My white Microsoft optical mouse clashes terribly
with my black Dell computer!
<Marcus> Vlad has been attacked by the Homosexual Interior
Designer!
<MSN-02> Actually, I pride myself on being one.
<MSN-02> Ah...
<MSN-02> Skecth off the homosexual aspect first, mind you...
<MSN-02> >_<
<Marcus> ...
<Marcus> Too late to take it back now.

-!- [lsd] has quit [Remote closed the connection]
-!- [lsd] has joined #lgl
<[lsd]> hehe
<[lsd]> i love it when you change the time on your box
<[lsd]> and xchat thinks "shit, i haven't seen a ping for 20
mins"

<xjeff> the other day a tree almost fall on my house!
<Mithandir> damn
<xjeff> a big tree
<Mithandir> better luck next time

<CrashCat> downloading lineage: 10 hours. patching lineage: 3
hours. uninstalling lineage: priceless.

<aNuBiS-> RaMTuFF: You should know better than to drive under
the influence of a hard-on

<Abbadaba> Client just came and filled out our forms before
her appointment.
<Abbadaba> Was looking them over to make sure she filled in
everything properly.
<Abbadaba> Reason for visit: "I think I'm going nuts."
<Abbadaba> Occupation: "Postal Service."

<vortex> Emo lol. The intentionally bad singing of punk with
all the angst and whining of a 13 year olds Livejournal

<Ecko24> yo does anyone have a driver for an ethernet cable?

<Booyah> what's 18 inches long and makes women scream?
<Gen|us> a black mans cock
<ismell> you toenails ?
<Booyah> crib death

<Snoopen_Man> who wants to be nuked?
<jeffx> me!
<dedsmurf> i have already been nuked, my microwave is one of
the first models made, it's leaking i think

<kingmob> lisa is being very resistant to this whole
"dreadlock" thing
<kingmob> probably concerned about all the fly bitches i'll
have

<JibberJim> Your bios doesn't like your 5 1/4" drive roded?
<roded> vmware doesn't actaully
<Jumper_> yeah, downgrade to the 8" again
* Jumper_ had a dual 8" drive - rocked
<JibberJim> 8" is a downgrade? - man you must be liked by the
ladies.

<Mr_Bandit> its LMAO not imo

<Sys> What's *really* not funny is the nasty
metal-on-oh-so-sensitive-metal sound my hard drive makes when
I try and access anything in the last 2 gig.... oh dear....

Lord x Bee: then where do you get them?
geoffduman: usenet
Lord x Bee: irc.usenet.net?

(bovril): food escapes me
(nark): it ran away?
(nark): try killing it before you eat it sam
(bovril): its nicer fresh

<the_hydra> I got a hemorroid once and used Preparation H's
little "anal applicator" and didn't think it was really worth
it. I think they just included that as a joke.

<Lyndrek> I don't like Pulp Fiction
<Nalani> Why would you dislike Pulp?
<DarkLich> Maybe it confused him.
<DarkLich> Maybe he was like, "What?! John Travolta died two
scenes ago!"

SMARTGIRL483: by the way i think i need to tell you this
SMARTGIRL483: i had a baby by my ex boyfriend
Protege Chris: i should buy you a box of condoms for your next
birthday :p... you country girls are just so eager to ride a
cowboy
SMARTGIRL483: omg
SMARTGIRL483: i cant help that
SMARTGIRL483: it was a girl
SMARTGIRL483: her name is elizabeth allison rainbow johnson
Protege Chris: rofl.. the white trash equivalent of "shaquana"

<N[]vA> I threw a chiken nuget at a trafic cops while driving
back home
<N[]vA> he was on his bonet talking on his cell phone
<N[]vA> fucker has no sence of humor
<N[]vA> 850
<N[]vA>  agravating a police officer
<N[]vA> ROFL
<N[]vA> he had mayo on his hat tho
<N[]vA> WAHAHAHAH

Wayfarer[GX] has joined the channel.
<Wayfarer[GX> wow, takes a few minutes to connect to chat :(
But it sure is nice to be here :)
<MrMac> Wayfarer: only happens to me when going through a NAT
<MrMac> through direct its fine
* Wayfarer[GX] doesn't do nat
<Wayfarer[GX]> wots NAT?
<MrMac> Network Address Translation
<Wayfarer[GX]> But mines english :)
<Wayfarer[GX]> it doesn't need translation

* @Jaykul[GonCrazy] is jamming along to Winamp not started

<TheWoland> If anyone molests me while I'm gone, take some
pictures for my website

<kikuichimonji> Okay, you know how in Revelation in the Bible
it talks about how in the end times everyone will be marked
with a number?
<kikuichimonji> And how you will need that number to buy or
sell anything?
<kikuichimonji> I think that the Bible is refering to DRM.
<kikuichimonji> Bill Gates is the antichrist, and Vista
registration keys are the mark of the beast.

<DarkImportGrey> god there's nothing greater than using people
to your advantage
<DarkImportGrey> well... bowel movements are quite
rewarding...
<DarkImportGrey> but it's close
<DarkImportGrey> manipulation vs. dumping
<DarkImportGrey> i guess i'd have to do both at once to see
which would win

[54]Drekknni: I've noticed that Mario Sunshine makes me feel
pretty violent. More so than GTA3 or other "violent", "adult"
games, anyway. I can't stand more than 20 minutes or so of it
without getting pissed off and throwing the controller.

<melx0rz> we just polled some guy .. out of the following he
is a) child molester b) FILTHY LIAR
<melx0rz> i didn't answer
<melx0rz> er.. HE
<melx0rz> He didn't answer

<TK-Work> Don't know if I should get 1 1,000 watt fog machine
or 2 700 watt fag machines.
<Ouroboros> Whoa.
<Ouroboros> fag machines?
<Ouroboros> What do those do?
<TK-Work> bend over the trick or treaters as they come to the
door

<tricid> I'm going to tattoo two dots on the head of my dick.
<tricid> then when I cum, my dick will go :o

<HA|MI-Edam> I read about this guy, and he was having sex with
a girl, and his, you-know-what sorta like, spontaniously
combusted
<EvilMonkey> ...
<DrWoody> Started on FIRE?
<MI-Edam> no, exploded
<MI-Edam> They say it was under so much pressure or something
<DrWoody> AHHHHHHHHH
<EvilMonkey> wt im never having sex!
<Suzie> your missing out
<EvilMonkey> missing out on having my mangina explode?
<EvilMonkey> no thanks

<BlackDeth> and why does my calculator smell like weed? :)
<EtherMan> BlackDeth: that explains it: your calculator is
obviously high