bash.org archive

<Meph|st0> Complaint : BOUGTH IT FOR MY COUSIN WHO HAD CANCER,
ITEM NEVER ARRIVED AND MY COUSIN DIED
<Meph|st0> thats the greatest ebay feedback i have ever seen

<MortalKombat> stfu mat|t u cu.nt
* Acaila sets mode: +b MortalKombat!*@*
<@Acaila> FINISH HIM
<mat|t> rofl
<MortalKombat> omg wtf man
* MortalKombat was kicked by Acaila (forward, forward, back,
back, forward, punch)
<@Acaila> FATALITY!

<ikkenai> i don't have hard drives. i just keep 30 chinese
teenagers in my basement and force them to memorize numbers

Gear Grinder X: once, we had these total freak seventh day
advenist (or whatever) freak ass neighbors
Gear Grinder X: and this girl Lanna was a little younger than
me
Gear Grinder X: she was a bitch, and they were all totally
religious
Gear Grinder X: she threw rocks at me once on my bike, and so
I turned around, and went to run over here
Gear Grinder X: I was hauling ASS, and you know what she did?
Gear Grinder X: put her hands on her hips, and stood there and
said "The lord will protect me"
Gear Grinder X: well.... he didn't

<Locke|Away> I found a note in one of my old word .docs that
said Note to self: Get revenge on Valvados.
<Locke|Away> Except I couldn't remember what I was supposed to
get revenge for.
<Locke|Away> But I trusted my own judgment, so I went with it.
<Valvados> ...
<Valvados> o.o
<Valvados> hmm
<Valvados> i dunno what you were supposed to get revenge for,
either
<Locke|Away> I can only assume you got what was coming to
you.  Not 100 percent sure, though.
<Valvados> well, whatever i did, i guess i deserved it
<Locke|Away> Let that possibly be a lesson to you.

dftpnkezln: For all of you reporting a score more than 100 as
you iq lol @ you. How can you possibly score more than 100%?
dftpnkezln:I'm very happy with my score of 89.

<factorial_nine> "Male masturbation is a personal turn off for
me. As a single woman, I'm especially looking for a man who
doesn't masturbate, even while he's single."
<factorial_nine> GOOD LUCK, BITCH.

<beser> Today my History class took a feild trip to the Museum
of Tolerance. Its a museum showing kids not to be prejudice
and all that good stuff.
<beser> Anyways, one exhibit is two doors next to each other.
One door has a sign hanging over it saying "Those with
prejudice walk through this door" The other door's sign said
"Those without prejudice walk through this door". Obviously
the door for people without prejudice isn't openable because
as the tour guide says "Everyone has prejudice".
<beser> So, I start tugging on the door and say "What the hell
is wrong with this damn door, did some damn Jew make this?"
and the tour guide kicked me out and i had to sit in the bus
for 15 minutes

<Raize> can you guys see what I type?
<vecna> no, raize
<Raize> How do I set it up so you can see it?

<+kritical> christin: you need to learn how to figure out
stuff yourself..
<+Christin1> how do i do that

ruide: hey chris, stop fuckin cybering and let me show you
something
cyph33r: what
cyph33r: i dont cyber cockbite, i have a gf
ruide: haha
cyph33r: what did you want to show me
ruide: i made an account on that scrabble website you go to
ruide: bubblegal_14
cyph33r: wtf
cyph33r: omg fuck you you fucking prick
ruide: chrisharker: i slide two fingers into your tight
asshole
cyph33r: YOU ARE A FUCKING FAGGOT YOU KNOW THAT
cyph33r: I FUCKING HATE YOU
ruide: chrisharker: i've never done this before, am i doing it
right?
cyph33r: FUCK OFF YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE

<reuben> somebody keeps jiggling the doorknob on my front
door, then running away
<reuben> i don't know if i should call the police, or hook up
some electricity to the doorknob
<cristobal> why don't you put ice on the stairs
<cristobal> and heat up the door knob
<cristobal> and swing paint buckets down from your two story
foyer
<cristobal> then a few years later, fade from the public
eye.....

<acidwar> last night, tony and I decided to stop off on the
way to the party to get some beer
<acidwar> we come out of the shop a few minutes later and
there's a parking guy writing a ticket
<acidwar> tony goes up to him and asks him what the ticket's
for, parking guy explains that the car is parked in a no
standing zone
<acidwar> tony starts abusing him and tells him to cram it up
his ass, so the guy writes a ticket for abusing him
<Nuzzler> haha
<acidwar> so tony gets up him even more, and every time he
says something the guy writes another ticket
<acidwar> 14 tickets later, the guy gives up and walks off
<dendyh0> ...
<acidwar> and we both PISS ourselves laughing as we walk back
to tony's car around the corner, leaving some poor bastard
with 14 parking fines :D
<dendyh0> AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
<Nuzzler> ROFL!!

<@maddox> FUCK!
<@maddox> my mom just found my website
<+DMTec> isn't she proud?
<+khoveraki> ha
<@naken> you've been on tv 2 times, in the newspapers several
times, been banned from a country, has 40 million pageviews
<@naken> and you didn't tell your mother?
<@maddox> "what is this? Did you draw this? It looks like a
penis."  "No mom, I didn't draw a penis"
<+DMTec> ROFL
<+DMTec> "no mom, i didn't draw a penis" thats good
<@maddox> now she's crying
<RichK> haha, your mom doesn't know about your website?
<@maddox> (on the phone)
<+DMTec> maddox: did she see the "suprise - I have a
penis"-greeting card?
<@maddox> dmtec: oh fuck, I forgot about that.. yeah I guess I
did draw a penis.
<RichK> bahahahaha
<@maddox> hahahahahaha she just said "I wish I would have died
and not raised you"
<+khoveraki> rofl
<@maddox> she hung up
<RichK> You are dispwned maddox

<XnD> Personally its not God I dislike, its his fan club I
cant stand

<Kazz> Do vampires have anuses? Cause that's why I wouldn't
let this kid invade a vampire's anus in this RPG, right, I was
GMing, and his character was an Anus Shade, with the power to
possess and control the anuses of people and animals.. and I
figured that vampires don't have anuses.
<Zaratustra> a vampire's anus is present, but non-working.
<Zaratustra> like a network card without the appropriate
driver.
<Kazz> Wow. You're the biggest dork on Earth.
<Sharkey> And you're DMing an rpg with Anus Shades.

Egger: Heres the history of our medicine.
"I have a sore throat."
2000 BC : "eat this root"
1200 AD : "That root is heathen, say this prayer."
1500 AD : "That prayer is superstition, drink this
elixir."
1800 AD : "That elixir is snake oil, Take this pill."
1900 AD : "That pill is ineffective, Take this
antibiotic."
2000 AD : "That antibiotic is artificial, Here why dont
you eat this root."

<Polytope> tetris is so unrealistic

<green> We vegetarians love the environment. carnivores are
sick freaks.
<Frank> How can vegetarians possibly love the environment..
you keep eating all the fucking plants

Spin: arrrr, pirates of the south west
Spin: thar be large pipes o'bandwith near ye'ol univarsety.
Pirate: yearg, ye may be an ta somethan thar.
Spin: what say ye we pull yonder USB hard disk longside yonder
NMSU puter and begin tha lutin and plunderin.
Pirate: yearg. The master done gaved me a testin machine with
a grand ol CDR.
Pirate: Avast!
Pirate: MP3s off the starboard bow!
Spin: stere clear of ye porn pop ups rollin in from tha east.
Pirate: I have mah trusty Opera browsa to help me fend em off.
Spin: encrypt the data holds, batton down thar security
patches, argh thar be spyware abound.

WallJam7: roses are red
WallJam7: violets are blue
WallJam7: all of my base
WallJam7: are belong to you

<+mOrphz> damn it :/
<@Lego> damn it :/
<+mOrphz> stop that
<@Lego> stop that
<+mOrphz> :D
<@Lego> :D
<+mOrphz> Lego smells
<@Lego> Lego smells
<+mOrphz> /quit
quit: (Lego) (~leet@apex|Lego.user.gamesnet) (Quit)

<DemonEater> wtf
<DemonEater> ESPN is showing 2003 national jump rope
championship
<DemonEater> who the hell watches jump rope competiti--- ooh
bouncy

<Pahalial> "ignorance more frequently begets confidence than
does knowledge" - Charles Darwin
<kionix> wtf? begets isn't a word. quit trying to make up
words, fuckface.

<Thumb> do you know of any major organizations that are
similar the CDC?
<Lucent> who?
<Thumb> center for disease control
<Lucent> i said WHO
<Thumb> what? i'm asking you
<Lucent> World Health Organization

<pihlopase> Jesus Saves
<jbroome> pases to moses, SCOOOOORE

<blazemore> omg i love this song
<blazemore> Now playing: Unknown Artist - Track 2 @ 128 Kbps.
(0:47/3:24)
<Javi> blazemore:  yeah, that's a bad ass song

<Fireslide> next person to talk after his line will be kicked
:)
<Fireslide> *this
* Fireslide was kicked by Fireslide ( 12  619 12  )

<Pax> I wish my lawn was emo, so it would cut itself.

<SRG> Metallica sold out in 45 mins :/
<NotOneOfUs> Yeah I know.
<NotOneOfUs> Oh wait
<NotOneOfUs> You mean, like, a concert?
<SRG> yes

<Sabdo> on one of those speech-to-text programs my friend
ripped ass onto the mic.
<Sabdo> and it typed out "France"
<Sabdo> we were like, wtf?

[01:33] (hilo21) ima looking for a site that seels amp
[01:33] (hilo21) ima looking for a site that seels amps
[01:33] (hilo21) iam looking for a site that seels amps
[01:34] (hilo21) I am looking for a site that sells amps
[01:35] (nexxai) how bout you look for a site that teaches
english?
[01:35] (hilo21) fuck you
[01:36] (nexxai) Lemme guess, you'd kick my ass, but can't
read the road signs to get to my house?

<aryov> This cake is soooo good
<aryov> it's like sex, except I'm having it

<blazemore> LITTLETON, Colo. - Colorado officials plan to try
a 15-year-old boy as an adult for allegedly offering a Sony
PlayStation to have his aunt killed.
<FlipTopBx> is it modded?

<superwoman> I had a boyfriend once that made me suck him off
while I had a mouthful of beer.
<GrandCow> HAHAHAHA that was me bitch!
<superwoman> DANNY?!?!?!
<GrandCow> MOM?!?!?!?!

<Goatroper> so i had a checkup at the doctor a couple months
ago
<Goatroper> i waited in the goddamn lobby for like 2 hours
<Goatroper> i was just starting to doze off when they called
me back into one of the exam rooms
<Goatroper> so i sit on this chair for like 30 more mins, and
then fall asleep
<Goatroper> i wake up and have no idea what time it is or how
long i've been waiting
<Goatroper> so 20 minutes later after I finished reading the
Hispanic Business Weekly
<Goatroper> I start diggin through the drawers in the exam
table and his desk drawer
<Goatroper> i find some hypos and don't touch them, some
dressing gowns, and then i get to the drawer marked "OB/GYN"
<Goatroper> i open it up, take a peeky-peek inside, and what
do I see? Speculums and rectal dilators.
<Goatroper> At this point I'm in his desk rolly-chair
<Goatroper> with about 40 rubber gloves in my pockets for
later use
<Goatroper> so I grab a speculum in each hand
<Goatroper> and start making them sing and talk like little
ducks
<Goatroper> i was rooting around for a sharpie and couldn't
find one
<Goatroper> so i put them down and did my glove-trick
<Goatroper> i stretched a rubber glove over my head and blew
it up
<Goatroper> then i grabbbed the speculums and started spinning
around in his chair
<Goatroper> glove inflated on my head the size of two
basketballs
<Goatroper> speculum in each hand
<Goatroper> spinning in his office chair
<Goatroper> i hear footsteps and as i'm extending my legs to
slow down, the door opens
<Goatroper> the doctor is standing there with my chart in his
hand
<kr0nus> omg
<Goatroper> i stopped spinning and just sat there, looking at
him through the thin film of the glove
<Goatroper> he was like "Corey.....?"
<Goatroper> I said "Yep."
<Goatroper> held up the speculums.
<Goatroper> said, "I got bored."
<Goatroper> and he was like "That's quite a trick with those
gloves. Where did you learn that?"
<Goatroper> I said "Many doctor's offices in many states."
<Goatroper> He was like "You want to take some with you?" as I
got up
<Goatroper> I pulled the wad out of my pocket and said
"Already did."
<Goatroper> then I walked out and i heard him laughing like a
goddamn maniac as soon as the door was closed
<Goatroper> then the other day i go in again rofl and he just
hands me a brand new unopened box of 100 gloves
<Goatroper> i was gonna ask for some speculums just to fuck
with him but I was afraid he'd give me some

<Tedward> so there's this pimp right. he's collecting money
from his three ho's.
<Tedward> he goes to the first ho and asks for his $100. she
says, "But I only owe you $50!"
<Tedward> he slaps her and says, "don't correct me, bitch!"
<Tedward> he asks the next ho for $150. she says, "But I only
owe you $100!"
<Tedward> he slaps her and says, "don't correct me, bitch!"
<Tedward> now he goes to his third ho.
<Tedward> he asks for $200. "but I only owe you $150!"
<Tedward> he slaps her and says, "don't correct me, bitch!"
<Tedward> next he visits the fourth ho.
<Tedward> he asks her for his $250.
<Thy_Dungeonman> hold on, wait a sec
<Tedward> what?
<Thy_Dungeonman> you said three ho's, not four. idioth.
*Tedward slaps Thy_Dungeonman
<Tedward> Don't correct me, bitch.

Josh: QUESTION FOR EVERYONE....
SecureXeC: IT'S TO THE LEFT OF YOUR 'A' KEY.

<Charlesowns> Man i was surfin porn and like "normal" surfin
at the same time, so my mom comes in and i quick as hell  tab
down the porn. So now im looking at a SWAT vest and an Mp5
submachinegun trying to hide the giant penis in my pants. Then
all of a sudden this realy gay male voice speaks out realy
loud goin "i want to suck your big dick ans swallow your hot
sperm" then like 100 popups open up all consisting of hardcore
fetish gayporn.
<Charlesowns> man my mom started crying and now she thinks im
gay... it owns

<broox> so my speakers haven't beeen working for a while
<broox> they were plugged into the mic port
<npl> umm, i think they are color-coded
<broox> haha, i know
<broox> i usually just reach back there and guess which hole
it is
* npl has set the topic on channel #cell6 to <broox> i usually
just reach back there and guess which hole it is

silic0nsilence: So it's black friday at CompUSA.
Slider: Yea
silic0nsilence: We were to open up at 12am. It's 11:58pm and
there is a HUGE line of blood-thirsty, hard drive-wanting,
maniacs. So my friend dares me to scream we have one xbox360.
Slider: Holy shit.
silic0nsilence: So he gives me $20. I go up to the gate and
scream, "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WE HAVE JUST RECIEVED ONE
XBOX360!!" Immediatly people are storming the gate, passing me
money through the cage to get it. They were screaming and
knocked over this old lady. My boss just looks at me with
these red eyes. In them, I saw fear and rage.
Slider: Omg you dumb shit!
Slider: Wait a second, it's 12:46A, and it's black Friday.
What did this happen minutes ago? Shouldn't you be at work?
silic0nsilence: Yeah..
silic0nsilence: Pretty sure I don't work at CompUSA any more..

<N> which is correct, seven and five IS thirteen, or seven and
five ARE thirteen?
<Joker> Neither.
<Joker> Because it's twelve.

<Firefly> Time for my prayers:
<Firefly> Our Father, who 0wnz heaven, j00 r0ck!
<Firefly> May all 0ur base someday be belong to you!
<Firefly> May j00 0wn earth just like j00 0wn heaven.
<Firefly> Give us this day our warez, mp3z, and pr0n through a
phat pipe.
<Firefly> And cut us some slack when we act like n00b lamerz,
just as we teach n00bz when they act lame on us.
<Firefly> Please don't give us root access on some poor d00d'z
box when we're too pissed off to think about what's right and
wrong, and if you could keep the fbi off our backs, we'd
appreciate it.
<Firefly> For j00 0wn r00t on all our b0x3s 4ever and ever,
4m3n.

<Tsk> oiuyniyu98h987h89yh87y98yjn987j987y897yhkiuk;''''
<Tsk> sorry.. there was a spider on my keyboard.

<riesto>  So I discovered that half my students are failing
because they just read bash.org every day in class.
<tumnest>  How'd you determine that?
<riesto>  One of them *accidentally* e-mailed me explaining
how no one does anything in the class, dumbasses.
<riesto>  So if you're reading this, students, GET TO FUCKING
WORK!  MODULE 10!

<Edofnor> #1 pickup line of all time: "Hey, does this rag
smell like chloroform to you?

* @Lan plays with his privates.
<Rintaun> ...
<@Lan> I got these new toy soldiers
<@Lan> They are really neat

* Quits: crag-- ([email protected]) (Dead girls dont say no)
* Quits: KiM ([email protected]) (going for a walk :p)
<@ShowDowN> that is sick
<@ShowDowN> we should ban him next time he comes in
<@nekro> yeah, who the hell goes for walks

<cooksii> incest is at least something the whole family can
do.

<booradley> I'd like to perform a one act play I call,
"Creative screwed me like a bitch"
<booradley> <audigy> Buy me! I'm ever so sexy
<booradley> <boo> ok. come home with me and we'll play among
the stars
<booradley> <audigy> tee hee! I love you, boo!
<booradley> <boo> I love you too, audigy
<booradley> :: later ::
<booradley> <boo> there, you're all installed. how do you
feel?
<neshura> down in front!
<booradley> <audigy> LET JESUS FUCK YOU! VRAAAGH!
* audience gasps.
<booradley> * audigy is putting noise across your PCI channels
<booradley> <hard drive> Mein leben!
<booradley> * hard drive has died
<booradley> <audigy> Blaaah! blaaaugh! your mother sucks cocks
in hell! graaagh!
<booradley> <modem> aaieee
<booradley> *modem has died
<booradley> and the new modem I got connects at 32k tops
<Shendal> By far, that's the best one-act IRC play I've read
this season.  Do I smell a Tony award?

<EyesofPrisms> and ou are an uytter newb
<KC48348751> dude
<KC48348751> how did that y move over like 12 characters

<Dark_Fox> Kami: if you changed your name to Kame, you would
have a much more interesting name :)
<Kami> Dark_Fox: And if you changed yours to Dark_Fax, you'd
have a more communicative name. :)
* Dark_Fox is now known as Dark_Fax
<Kami> It'd be... 'telecommunicative.'
* Dark_Fax makes noises and bitches because he's out of paper
ant toner *
<Kami> Oh god, that happened at work today.
<Dark_Fax> FEED MEE!!!
<SailorV> Nuuuuuuuu
* Dark_Fax displays wrong time *
* Dark_Fax rings for no reason *
* Kami is now known as VCR-clock
* Dark_Fax gets a paper jam *
* VCR-clock blinks
* VCR-clock blinks
* VCR-clock blinks
* VCR-clock blinks
* VCR-clock blinks
* VCR-clock blinks
<Dark_Fax> PAPPPERRRRR
* VCR-clock blinks
<Dark_Fax> TOOOOOONEEERRRR
* VCR-clock blinks
<VCR-clock> :)
* Dark_Fax breaks a bearing and bounces around on the counter
*
<Dark_Fax> FEEEED ERROORRR!!!! NEED PAPER!!
* Dark_Fax rings again for no reason *
* VCR-clock blinks some more
* SailorV runs and hides becuz there are weirdo's in here
* Dark_Fax chases SailorV *  MY PAPER!!! MY PREEESCIOUUUS!!
* VCR-clock blinks
* VCR-clock blinks
<SailorV> EEEE!
* SailorV unplugs the VCR
* VCR-clock has quit IRC
* Dark_Fax is now known as Dark_Fox
<Dark_Fox> ok i think ive peaked the humor of that

Mjordan2nd: If you could be any fictional character, who would
you be?
Chris: Spider Man
Tim: batman
Sidd: batman
Mjordan2nd: I'd be god

<Paradox> So, guys, I have some news.
<Paradox> I know I usually don't talk much about stuff unless
it's solid, but this is interesting, and I think you should
know.
<Paradox> I just got an E-mail about an interesting
proposition.
* volsung_ perks up.
<Paradox> Apparently, there are lesbians that want my 'hard
cock.'
* volsung_ flips Paradox the bird.
<volsung_> :)
<Paradox> They want it 'now,' apparently, so the timetable is
somewhat limited.
<volsung_> Are you going to just take their offer as
presented, or is there an opportunity for negotiation?
<Paradox> I'm not sure.
<volsung_> I'm sure your hard cock is in great demand.  An
exclusive deal might not be in your best interest.
<Paradox> Last time I got an offer like this, there were some
catches.

*** Zeron is now known as you
* you farted.
* you sigh in frustration.
* you lose
* you suck at life
*** Wildfyre is now known as our
* Goblin_Leecher thinks you need a life
* our conversation is entirely too weird
*** Goblin_Leecher is now known as we
* we are going stir crazy
* you are going a little too far
* our laughter fills the offices nearby.
* you are fired.
* we need new jobs
* you agree
* you wonder when this madness will end
* we are not sane
* you are correct
* our sanity has left?
<Talathar> you know...if a sane person were to walk in
here...they'd be very very confused right about now...
* you are one with the matrix.

<FM{FF1}> Rizen: I thought you didn't bang chicks, only me.
<FM{FF1}> ...men.
<FM{FF1}> GOD THAT WAS A BAD TYPO.

<Fooz> In a perfect world... spammers would get caught, go to
jail, and share a cell with many men who have enlarged their
penisses, taken Viagra and are looking for a new relationship.

<@Logan> I spent a minute looking at my own code by accident.
<@Logan> I was thinking "What the hell is this guy doing?"

<Casey8> Diana Ross' husband died
<Tarrier> how
<Casey8> fell while climbing in South Africa or something
<JennAway> that's sad
<Bubbaprog> i guess there is a mountain high enough

[ron`] Roses are red, violets are blue, I'll fuck you with a
rake

<malaclypse> The general rule on about people on IRC seems to
be "Attractive, single, mentally stable: choose two"

<Kyuss> how big should disk 1 of neverwinter be?
<JtHM> |<----------------------------->|
<JtHM> (not to scale)

(JHawk111420) Hey whats up, a/s/l?
(Lady Renegade) more than you want, I'm sure :)
(JHawk111420) ill take that as a challenge ;-)
(Lady Renegade) take it any way you want sweetie
(JHawk111420) k, how old are ya?
(Lady Renegade) probably too old for you, but let's pretend
I'm 20 ;)
(JHawk111420) k, what do ya look like?
(Lady Renegade) before or after I'm dressed up?
(JHawk111420) both :-D
(Lady Renegade) well......after I'm dressed up, I have long
sexy red hair, nails painted red to match the slinky dress I
have on, stiletto heels, pouty lips, green eyes, boobs out to
here, and a smile that stops
traffic
(JHawk111420) and before your dressed up?
(Lady Renegade) before I'm dressed up, I'm bald and wearing
boxers...sometimes my weenie is peeking out
(Lady Renegade) hello?
(Lady Renegade) hello?
(Lady Renegade) hello ....

* Vesper is now known as CodyB
<Teku> why the nick change?
<CodyB> I'm teaching this hot chick how to use IRC
<xanatos> ...why
<CodyB> I got grounded for two weeks and I can't call anyone.
I figured I could talk to her here, at least.
<CodyB> be cool, I'm teaching her about channels and she might
come in here
<xanatos> how did you get grounded
<CodyB> I locked my sister outside for three hours.
<xanatos> i bet she didnt like that
* StacyF has joined #randomshit
<CodyB> yeah I thought my parents were going to kill me
<CodyB> oh hey, there you are
<Teku> So you had sex with your sister on your parents bed and
they walked in on you? Wow Cody, you're lucky you only got
grounded for two weeks.
<StacyF> eeew you sick fuck
* StacyF has left #randomshit
<Teku> I know you're going to kill me later, but it was so
worth it
<CodyB> you motherfucker

<TRON> if my calculations are correct SLINKY + ESCULATOR =
EVERLASTING FUN

<+HoCkster> I got an official warning from my bank
<+HoCkster> I usually pay my rent as "Columbian Drug Money",
they never objected
<+HoCkster> but then I forgot my mates cell phone number,
<+HoCkster> we were both doing internet banking at the same
time right
<@Lilzvixen> welcome to my room
<+HoCkster> so I give him a 1 cent payment going "What's your
number"
<+HoCkster> and we start having this whole conversation
<+HoCkster> it was like webchat
<+HoCkster> so like 87 payments later, the bank rings me up
and were like
<+HoCkster> "have you thought of getting MSN?"

<Dr_DOS> Tupac Shakur sounds like a Protoss name.

<Turkeyslam> oh man I saw pure gold at lunch, I was sitting
near this group of black guys at a table and they all had
tucked in shirts and shit, looked educated, I think they were
studying calculus or some shit
<Turkeyslam> and across from there, there was another table
with a bunch of white guys, all ghetto looking, three of them
wore fucking grills, sagging pants, and one was playing some
50 cent ringtone or some shit
<Turkeyslam> going "yeah boiiii"
<Turkeyslam> and one of the black guys in the table next to me
muttered "fucking niggers"
<Turkeyslam> I choked on my fucking jolt cola

ElGarlic: Spending your life waiting for the messiah to come
save the world is like waiting around for the straight piece
to come in Tetris.
ElGarlic: Even if it comes, by that time you've accumulated a
mountain of shit so high that you're fucked no matter what you
do.