bash.org archive

<gelfwag> So, I'm in the administration room now. What do I do
to really fuck them up bad?
<@mooie> how did you get on the computer in there?
<+greg> give the computer a good shock to fuck up the hard
drive or just knock it over
<+greg> and burn the windows/office/etc CDs
<gelfwag> haha! this is awesome the CD cases are melting.
<gelfwag> the mouse is melting it's so awesome
<gelfwag> oh shit the mousepad caught fire
<+greg> dump it somewhere
<gelfwag> fuck the room's getting filled with smoke what the
hell do I do now?!
<+greg> let it start burning then get away and pull a fire
alarm somewhere in the halls
<gelfwag> hahaha
<gelfwag> oh shit the library bitch is coming wtf do I do
now?!?!?!!
<+greg> Beat the shit out of her and run.. or if she saw your
face, kill the ho and move to mexico
* Quits: gelfwag (Connection reset by peer)

<Byte> i cant find a good isp :(
<Byte> vcisp.net looked good
<Byte> but 30 hours/week...
<Byte> i use at least 56 hours
<Byte> per day

<stack> if($want == "illegal") connect(efnet);

<McFly> Note to Self: Make sure boxers firmly attached and
functioning before walking into room of 8th graders.

<Emika> Somedays, I wish I could ctl+z everything
<Emika> and alt+F4 parts of my life

<grey`> how much do cheek clenches help ass shape?
<grey`> i need to firm up my ass
<grey`> like i'm always clenching to tunes in winamp, i'd like
to think its effective

<Jenosyn> i've seen piccies of u screwing things in your PC :)

<douchebag> do u declare your variables when doing pseudo
code?

<moistyman> i saw in paper a position for tiolet cleaner at a
laxative company

<GuyMontag> What do you call four thousand lawyers?
<BigEars> microsoft

<Supe> <Beelzebub> www.xxxxxxxxx.com/gulfgirls2004 SeX SeX SeX
!!
<Supe> beelze are you trying to harbour viruses?
<Beelzebub> nothing wrong with viruses
<Beelzebub> they are part of the natural selection process on
the internet

Chargon[HorsebackArchery] is now known as Sir_Chargon    
<Eric> Horseback Archery.
<Eric> D00d, drive-by shooting. It's a sign of the times.
<Kataclysm> Yes, but  a ride-by shooting just doesn't have the
same effect as a drive-by. 
<Eric> Good point. ANYONE can kill a horse, but a car doesn't
stagger when it's down.
<Kataclysm> That, and horses don't have tinted power windows
either.

<_Bas> folks, when people say "power train", do they mean
"automatic transmission"?

<whifflebat2000> Holy crap... this is incredible. Never played
this level. Great atmosphere.
<Seppel> Whiff: Finally make it to level 3 on Super Mario
Brothers?

[Unforgiven] you needed help to share a printer, and you
administer a unix box?
[doot]  windows is tough

<deltax> i saw a dog teabag another dog today

<synthetic-> God simply does not want me to have any
meaningful relationships
<synthetic-> I'm up until 5:15 in the morning talking to a
nice 18-year-old girl from Louisiana...
<synthetic-> AND SHE'S MARRIED
<synthetic-> even though I have no hope of ever meeting her,
she's still unavailable

<KoNrAdEk> in november turn 21
<KoNrAdEk> so 16 pretty young for me
<spoko_bre> true true
<spoko_bre> but 16 is the freshest u can get without getting
g-lined from society
<KoNrAdEk> yea thats true
<KoNrAdEk> but parents could try to give me ban -noexpire
<KoNrAdEk> but i just see her on the other channel
<KoNrAdEk> and baaaaaaaang
<spoko_bre> hahahah
<spoko_bre> yes!
<spoko_bre> sneaky cunt
<spoko_bre> give parents trojan
<spoko_bre> and u can sneak into the house
<spoko_bre> and fuck daughter
<KoNrAdEk> yes x
<KoNrAdEk> hahahhahahahaa
<spoko_bre> and then sneak out
<KoNrAdEk> get her pregnant
<KoNrAdEk> and change nicks
<KoNrAdEk> no1 will kno its me

<@Fuse> !spin
<+SugarFairy>  Fuse spinned the bottle.. and it lands on .. 
Sophos
<+SugarFairy>  Now, go kiss  ^-^
<+Sophos> who the hell plays spin the bottle in a room ful of
boys

<goh> i've got this itching inside me that tells me i can beat
you
<intra> like a vaginal itching?
<goh> intra: yes
<intra> just get some vagasil

<epoch--> crap, getting my license renewed while baked was a
bad idea
<epoch--> every time they take my picture for it, i end up
looking like a criminal.. this time i look like a stoned
criminal

<NCommander> Its nothing like coming back from a two month
vacation, and discovering a surprise in the toliet
<g4lt-U60> TMI
<g4lt-U60> in fact, you've left the TMI thoroughfare and
entered the "why the fuck do you have free speech" turnpike
<NCommander> g4lt-U60: I didn't say that surprise was shit.

<susan> haloooooo
<Phuser> susan
<Phuser> now theres a soon to be guest nick if i ever saw one
*** susan is now known as Guest70397

<Slasher> Remember that some of us have a social life...
<Crusher> Social life? Where can I download that?

<TREllis> avajdjddkdkkkkah
<geekster> oh look, trellis is looking at the bottom of his
laptop again
<drochaid> someone tell him it's NOT an etch-a-sketch please
<geekster> shaking it dosen't make irc go away, it will still
abuse you, more so if you break your laptop being stupid

<Blixt> a buddhists last life before nirvana is spent as a
lesbian pornstar most of the time

<antix> im bored
<antix> i think i might go mod my toilet
<Shady> what are you going to do? :S
<antix> i think i might add some little flashin lights so i
can read the paper in the dark...

<unclefu> why the hell is network browsing so slow with xp
<unclefu> ... perhaps it's cause the other computer is off...

<Jester{work}> butt sex is like spinach , if you're forced to
eat it when you're a kid you wont like it as an adult.

<mightyflo> why is the k in cmyk a k?
<nitrifik_> cause it's kool like dat.
<mightyflo> cyan, magenta, and yellow kool-aid
<mightyflo> that would go over pretty well with the geek crowd
<mightyflo> they should market a new flavor that way
<nitrifik_> CMYKOOL
<nitrifik_> I'd buy it.

<MpTaNk> one time on a test we had to find answers to
questions that were in a book and insted of looking for the
page I tryed to ctrl+f
<MpTaNk> it was a shocking feeling when I realized I couldn't
do it

<aNuBiS-> I think Taurus is greek for Recall

<Camo> i licked the adhesive on the envelope cuz i thought it
would be erotic

<dabblerblue> i hate pants that are only comfortable when
you're standing :(
<nzc> so takem off
<dabblerblue> i can't, i'm about to go out
<dabblerblue> i put them on so i could leave without being
arrested
<dabblerblue> i hate that

<jw> is that a cucumber or are you just happy to see shaggy-h
and me?
<shaggy-h> jw: it's a cucumber. But you gotta wonder what he's
going to do with it

* Fighter notes at his store Pepsi Blue is cheaper than
water......

*** [ircnic]
([email protected]) has
left #trance

<Misty> ...but it's sold out. ;.;
<Sue>  ;_;
<Alex> Her eyes are producing commas...
<Alex> Maybe you should get that checked

<human> beethoven and mozart should have had a kid
<human> then marry this kid to enya
<human> then have their children play with a roland xp-30
<human> then you'll get some nice tunes

tilt: WHAT ARE YOU GONNA SAY TO HAR
jolt: I DONT KNOW I WROTE A POEM BUT I DONT KNOW IF I SHOULD
USE IT!!!!@! IT GOES " IM GLAD WE DIDNT EAT AT LUBY'S! CAN I
PLEASE TOUCH YOU BOOBIES?"

<MrFreeze> AND I PUT 3 OZ OF WEED IN 2 COOKIES
<MrFreeze> AND THEY WERE LIKE 1" ACROSS
<MrFreeze> MMM THEY WERE YUM!
<noj> and 2 feet high!

(Kawmun_Sentz): Tip of the day: Your daily fudgesicles intake
should be less than 7

<Chrisodeo> In Soviet Russia... the jokes tell you!
<CrazySteve> Am I the only one bothered by the fact that there
is now no longer a Soviet Russia?
--- ChanServ sets ban on *!
*[email protected]
<-- ChanServ has kicked Chrisodeo from #jack (Gunned down by
the russian mafia.)
<CrazySteve> I guess not.

Mace|brb has quit (COBOL programmers understand why women hate
periods.)

<_cobra_> how can i allow right-click on links only while
preventing right-click on the rest of a webpage ??
<yossarian> why would you want to prevent right-click
anywhere?
<_cobra_> to prevent newbies stealing the html

<Midvalley> Kinjin-Zero: mod your rio to add a wireless nic
<Kinjin-Zero> (Midvalley): I could... using wi-fi, nice 54mbit
connection
<Kinjin-Zero> (Midvalley): but, it'd be no use with it in the
car, and me upstairs
<Kinjin-Zero> (Midvalley): easier to just plug it in on my
desk
<Midvalley> technology isn't about making our lives "easier"
<Midvalley> it's about bragging rights

<Trivia>  011.1753. What is measured on the Cephalic Index?
<Trivia>  1st Hint: ***** ****   Question Value : 12 Points
<Olmec> penis size

<Trauma> craig: cracked rib and torn cartiledge and 1800mg of
ibprofen in the last 5 hours
<utahsaint> damn dood what happened?
<utahsaint> i told you not to jack off on the roof

<Donut[4]> DEFRAG TIME
<_ry0suke_> deFAG
* Donut[4] has quit IRC (Quit: DEFRAG IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN
EVERYONE)
* Donut has joined #walktheplank
<Donut> HEY WAIT
<Donut> F U =(
* Donut has quit IRC (Quit: )
<_ry0suke_> :(

quits SuB-RiC ([email protected]) (I am short"
is Womanese for, "I am fat)

* icenine --train &
<j0ker> luck with your new job
<j0ker> :)
<icenine> not going to my job
<icenine> i'm going to go punch a recruiter in the face
<icenine> but close enough

* sAh got rearended on his way to work today
< soybean> how
< sAh> the girl's car skidded
< sAh> minor damage to my bumper
< sAh> i could care less
< soybean> but the most important question
< soybean> WAS SHE CUTE
< sAh> easiest phone number i ever got

<gh0z> Microsoft gives you windows, linux gives you the whole
house

<groulder> god i smell like a peice of shit.
<groulder> i shold have a shower.
<j03bl0w> or stop smearing shit on yourself?

<DaReN^|53|> if ya ever wanna get outta class, just shit your
pants

<RamonG> where are hash tables stored when you create
<fuzion-work> plz refrain from using any sort of drug related
words in here

<URinsane> i'll restart after i sync my palm
<element> oh fancy pants with a palm
<URinsane> HANDSPRING VISOR EDGE BIZATCH
<element> do you keep your bitchs digits on there
<URinsane> hell yea
<element> do you stylus them in at bars
<URinsane> i whip that shit out
<element> HOLD ON I CANT FIND MY STYLUS
<element> DONT LEAVE
<element> ARE YOU SOBERING UP
<element> ILL BUY YOU ANOTHER
<element> JUST DONT LEAVE
<URinsane> pfft plz when u have as sexy of a pda as me you
dont need to buy them drinks
<element> yeah thats just wasted money for them to find out
you are a nerd and not sleep with you anyway
<element> now you have a warning device

<samafk> ui'm fuckt'
<samafk> 1/2 ogke
<samafk> vodka
<samafk> bp
<+Ajurian> pretending to be drunk on irc isnt cool anymore

<Bookworm> Jeremiah, I don't tell you what to do, now quit
telling people that.

<iaruj> some idiot keeps unplugging lan cable
<seniaguol> is his name...
<seniagoul> whatever your name is?

<_Cyan_> my cat is bored ;P
<_Cyan_> so I told him, "If you're bored, clean my room" ;P
<_Cyan_> cat ~/room | sort > ~/room.new

<gikmo> ill sell you my sister for a sausage roll and a
beer...
<gikmo> would be more, but she's used.

<tha|didier> the cigarette packages here say that tobacco
smoke contains HCN, Benzene, Formaldehyde en nitrosamines
<Dilbert|sleep> really? the cigarette packs that i get list
the ingredients as Lung Cancer, and Emphysema

<Oolong> <Mansion_Maniac> 3 types of people on the internet =
convinced they're ugly, convinced they're life has no meaning,
and convinced they could kick your ass despite they don't know
jack about you
<Oolong> he forgot convinced they're japanese
<Oolong> "aya, Britney Spears no kawaii desu nyo! ^O^^^O^O^^O^
"

* DiscoFever ignores all you dicks
<Joelz> Good.
<Joelz> You shouldn't be looking at our penises anyway.

*** Topic is 'Current IQ is, make no mistake, 0120 (your IQ is
subtantially higher, if you know what that is in decimal)'
<DuneBoy> fr0zen: it looked like base 3 to me, which would
mean it was 25 isn;t it??? 0(3^3) + 1(3^3) + 2(2^3) + 1?

<Batou> QUIT FUCKING MIDGETS
<Malf> i cant
<Malf> they're so hot
<Malf> they are tight like kids but legal

<santa> if nasa was smart they'd send something tomars to grab
a huge fucking bucket of mars sand
<santa> and take it back
<santa> and sell it by the gram
<santa> like "MARS SAND KEYCHAINS - 300 bucks"
<santa> talk about grassroots funding programs ;)

<gande34> so my azn friend has a kid, and he turns out to be
black
<JamespDen> and...?
<gande34> they are like boaters man
<gande34> they named him "Sum Ting Wong"
<JamespDen> omg