bash.org archive

<J>: Why is there porn all over the place??
<M>: Are you kidding? Ever since my mom moved out, my dad has
been throwing that
shit around like confetti.

<@natclass> I smoke just so I can hang out with hot chicks
<@natclass> You don't actually have to smoke, just light up a
butt and hold it
<@natclass> occasionally take a little puff
<@d13> i do lines so i can hang out with old hookers

<Brando457> is 1 KB bigger then a 700 MB disk ?

<Samus> With some minor manipulation, I can make my
uncircumcised penis look like Birdo from Super Mario 2

<Brian_Davion> whats a good colour for a protocal droid?
<Brian_Davion> kaiser: I'm thinking a droid just like C3P0
<KaiserPanda> make it black with inlaid gold leaf designs, and
a funny hat
<KaiserPanda> and a pink lawn flamingo
<Wolf> yes, and its opening line would be "I am cornholio,
human-cornhole relations"

(peregrine): you know
(peregrine): if i ever setup an fserv
(peregrine): i should make my trigger the destructicon
(Chimerasame): i'm amused by people whose triggers are like
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(xeria): <people in chim's other channels> really?
(Breianna): WTF is that
(peregrine): i'm really not sure
(Chimerasame): ok, chalk one up for the dumbest thing i've
done, ever
(Ultimate_Houseplant): dumbass!
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Syn0P: RESPOND
aj64804: no

<daenonok> texas vs iraq round one
<b1u3> im not particularly worried that iraq start sending ppl
over here...but i live in ca, right on the coast, if they did
i'd taste the first wave
<b1u3> so right now im sittin here, all the lights turned off,
in my faded army fatiques, new tank of co2 in my paintball
gun, ready to give anyone to come through my door a hell of a
bruise

<assmongrel> my dick is covered in zits
<xar0> ew...
<assmongrel> no it's a good thing
<assmongrel> i'm ribbed for her pleasure

<superghos> sometimes my dick gets so hot it feels like it's
going to burn a hole through my mouth

<HrdwrBoB> alchohol
<HrdwrBoB> is
<HrdwrBoB> teh drink of teh godz
<Fryboy>   er
<Fryboy>   thought that was necter
<HrdwrBoB> nah
<HrdwrBoB> nectar is for fags

<Diggy> rgr
<S5474> stfu
<trinity> ?
<Ne0N> IRC is a strange thing... thousands of users... yet
less than 20 words said in a day

<Strimkind> I find programming too picky and precise for me
<gauze_> stupid computers doing what you tell them to :/

<FlypServ> ive only known two eq addicted people, one grew up
and the other dumped me to work on her character

|bardamu| y'know, sometimes i'm tempted to start a site at
www.christianitykills.org detailing stories of christians who
went on murderous rampages or killed themselves after praying
and stuff
|bardamu| i'd get real controversial and get hundreds of
thousands of hits
|bardamu| and then one day i'd pull the plug and replace it
with an homage site to myself
|bardamu| surely that would be a good way to get lots of
attention

<spoony> i'm not bright but i can lift heavy things

<dietz> Computers, the internet, it's just a large scale
version of Knott's Berry Farm.
<dietz> Oh, and instead of Snoopy, there's porn. Yeah.

<NekkidRisu> Oh wow
<Snakerboy> what?
<NekkidRisu> That's the first time I've fully shaved my
nutsack, and by fucking god does it feel so cool.
<NekkidRisu> Err
<NekkidRisu> Shit
<NekkidRisu> You shouldn't have seen that. Just like, imagine
it's not there or something

<Edventure> i don't like winamp 3
<DrPoole> never upgrade
<DrPoole> i use winamp 0.00001
<DrPoole> it's just a "Play" button

<Feared> Everyone's against me.
<Feared> It's like my school is here.

* ian wonders who was responsible for the "stuff that matters"
part of the /. slogan ......
<l_oke> ian: I know one thing
<l_oke> ian: he's a pathological liar

(gENERIC) who the hell came up with the word twat?
(gENERIC) that's the suavest thing i've heard next to
love-tunnel

<RollingBrass> hey...the us open is coming to long island
<BADGER> <RollingBrass> You want a U.S. Open?! * Rollingbrass
unveils a banner of Goatse Man
<RollingBrass> TigerWoods: Now THAT'S a 19th hole!
<BADGER> RollingBrass: More like a new hazard :P
<BADGER> <Ref> In the Goatse! Shoot from where it lands or
mulligan? <Tiger> MULLIGAN!!!!!!!!

<JMG> I went water skiing
<JMG> and It turns out that I scream the same way that i would
if a great white shark were about to attack me
<JMG> If seaweed touches my foot
<JMG> Theres a moment I want back

<AsylumXKP> Yeah no advertising. (This message was brought to
by ANALSEX.COM! ALL ANAL ALL THE TIME!)

<torment0r|wk|> !imdb butt pirates
<Vanamonde> Hackers (1995) ( http://www.imdb.com/Title?0113243
)

<RaVeNX> shut it you pig fucker :)
<Knight> it's horses you twat.. horses

<kisama_> the things i do to get my porn on
<kisama_> gonna wait until 1 am
<kisama_> then move comp into the bathroom

<Gwindor> I wasn't paying attention until I glanced and saw
"squishing" and "cleavage" in the same sentence

<shawn> refurbished is when something is defective and the
manufacturer finds it to be a simple repair and then resells
them to cheap bastards like myself

notkmad: whats the 35 for
Stemp35: how many times I give head a week
iluvduke213105: wjat?
iluvduke213105: what are u talkin about?
Stemp35: he asked me what the 35 meant on my name
notkmad: and the same goes for the 213105 ?

<HeadlessCow> urr...you've never touched a girl's breasts and
known her cup size?
<evilroot> HeadlessCow:  hrm, I rarely remember such things
<evilroot> Hard enough remembering their names

<cluelezz> ok... i'm in #bearcave... now what?

Hobbes_: Hmm.
Hobbes_: I'm too lazy to use the mouse, and go to the address
window.
Hobbes_: http://movies.yahoo.com
Hobbes_: Wait.
Hobbes_: Shit.
Hobbes_: I have to click that. =(

<Bahamut0> who cares about albany? stupid europeans

<[ric]> jeez... why is it the boss always walks in on me when
I am typing
on irc?
<[ric]> oh, yeh.. it's because I am always typing on irc.. :)

<scabb> Pfft. Rape? No. Love at first sight.

<+miz-> You need to STFU, aural!
<+miz-> :o
<@Aural-Fixation> stick your cock in my mouth, I'd gladly shut
up for that
<+Apocalipstick> O_O
<@Aural-Fixation> hahaha
<@Aural-Fixation> why, do you have aids?
<@sasseriansection> worse
<@sasseriansection> he's got SmallCox

<kinzillah> kronos is portable! *hrrrrk* *thump* *clunk* errr,
maybe not
<Pseudonym> kinzillah: It's about 50 lbs
<Pseudonym> The case being about 40 lbs of that
<Gygaxis> wtf is the case?!?!
<kinzillah> 50 lbs != portable
<Pseudonym> Wimp.
<Gygaxis> jesus christ, did you mod a god damn cinder block?

<Choc> CARDIFF: Twelve people have been taken to hospital
after Spanish world title contender Carlos Sainz's Ford left
the road and hit spectators at the British rally here.
<morty> they were obviously cheering for another driver

<Greystripe> one day, i'm gonna own my own company
<Greystripe> and it's gonna get big
<Greystripe> and i'll be like bill gates, but less of an arse
<Greystripe> and i'll be all rich and famous
<Greystripe> but i'll still come in here
<Greystripe> and i'll be like "hey guys, did you see me on the
news?"
<Greystripe> because, let's face it, i'm never gonna have a
social life

<Carlo> hand me the url
<S^^> it's in norwegian
<Carlo> so am I

<Guyp> unreal uses the Super Mario Bros. engine

<RanmaGuy> you know what would be a great logo for rice
pudding
<RanmaGuy> a tall black man with an asian hat working the rice
fields
<RanmaGuy> as a whiteman rides a horse carrying a whip
<xv0wind0vx> that's so utterly racist even the KKK would be
offended.

<RobertRence> Okay, since I've apparently got my definitions
screwed up, define a hacker for me.
<Straylight> Hackers are people who dress in fruity colors and
say things like "HACK THE PLANET" and hang around with Matthew
Lillard and stuff

<aen> That's weird. I thought someone told me .bins were
better than .isos because you can repair them more easily or
something, but also that it had compression.
<Gayo> He was a .bin propagandist, tricking you with his
honeyed lies.

<aqela> YES!
ùíù mode/#mandrake [+v nomercy] by level
<aqela> my linux came
<aqela> yes!
<[Mosher]> did yah get any on you ?

<Antimatter> for a moment I thought M$ was going into the arms
contracting business there
<Antimatter> oh, wait. they are, aren't they
<Antimatter> battleships running Windows... *shudder*
<NightmareBlade> o-O
<Antimatter> yes, they're pushing to get windows used in
control systems for ships & stuff
<Antimatter> gives a new dimension to "blue screen of death"
<Antimatter> "Uh-oh, the fire control computer got infected
with a virus"
<NightmareBlade> ***WARNING*** U.S.S New Jersey could not load
targetting codes. Please insert your Windows 98 SE cd into b:

<SilverJag> babyd did you get any play yet?
<eldee> babyd gets as much play as my atari

< MechaniZM> how do i hack the internet with unix using aol?

<teste_fly> "um yes, i'd like to withdraw from life please"
<teste_fly> "will that be checking or savings?"
<teste_fly> "hmm, i think i just want to cancel my account"

<undrewb> you know max, while the paralympics were very
inspiring, you shouldnt let them delude you into thihnking all
retards can achieve the impossible :)

<ShoeFlip6058>: I made this screenplay where a serial killer
goes to random victims houses, goes into their bedrooms, and
screams "DON'T WAKE UP" in their faces while they sleep. The
wake up, see him, and they die of fright
<ShoeFlip6058>: I would cast Christopher Walken as the killer
<Claypeople>: Dude, if i saw christopher walken in person I'd
die of fright
<Jenova>: He's a scary mofo

<zeedo> heh I got a delivery today and started to sign my name
"zeedo"
<zeedo> lmao
* Subliminal is playing Metallica - Jump In The Fire
<Subliminal> rofl
<Subliminal> your loosing your true identity
<Subliminal> and become a sequence of 0's and 1's
<zeedo> the dude just gave me a weird look when I said "can
you wipe that off its the wrong name"
<zeedo> he cleared the screen thinking I was a weirdo
<zeedo> I am but thats besides the point
<Subliminal> lmao
<Subliminal> you should spell itin binary or smt

<NoahSoft> wizdom: Where?
<wizdom> UK :p
<NoahSoft> Is that in australia?

<#hack/|al|> if i wrote a perl program, i wouldnt go telling
people about it

<orion> i was like MAN CHECK OUT THIS HOTTIE
<orion> he's all SLOW DOWN SCROLLING MAN SHE'S FUCKING HOT
<orion> OH MAN SHE'S EXTREMELY HOT
<orion> he complimented her more than any other female i've
ever heard him talking about
<orion> even models and shit
<orion> then BAM i went to the dick shot
<orion> "WHAT TEH FUCK I HATE YOU MAN THAT'S SO PHOTOSHOPPED"

<EuRaSiAn`GuY> If Someone query's me typing #Channel, and
there in a channel i have ops in, how do i auto ban them?
<@netwerk> thats stupid
<@netwerk> go sit in the corner and think about wat you just
said

<IAmQueenLara> Oh yeah, I remember you... You disappeared one
night after I sent you my photo

<PreZ> u'd think I'd dream about britney spears, or christina
ricci, or something
<PreZ> but nooooo
<PreZ> I dream I'm on IRC in #aussies
<PreZ> *sigh*
<goombah> wake up prez.. your having a hard disk crash

<veruca_girl> wtf?
<veruca_girl> you people make less sense than a david lynch
film

<greg> I like bush, but i dont like Busch or Bush.

<Tridon> hate cold water
* Tridon left the shower in a huff!
<Iksion> tridon ah your willy has shrinked in cold water?
<Tridon> this morning I had to talk him down, just so that I
could take a piss... Now he's not even there any longer

<White_Devil> ppl who put down other ppl from other countries
are basicly ingnorant...We are all from the human race and the
sooner ppl can put away their bias, the sooner they can be
dominated by the USA

<Mutsumi_Otohime> I just played SC with one of my IRL friends
:P
<Mutsumi_Otohime> My only REAL irl friend, actually :P
<MegamanX2K> your hand?

<SmokingCats> well, it's official, I've eaten so much turkey,
I have feathers coming out of my butt
<Daedalus> you're not supposed to eat the feathers
<SmokingCats> o
<SmokingCats> damnit

<drlion> squirrels have sexy tails
<drlion> like foxes
<[ric]> hmm.... define "sexy"
<[ric]> in fact, don't... I will leave it to my imagination..
:)

-Stevie-O- from what I hear, the average WebTV user makes it
look like the average AOLer belongs in MIT

*** Adee is now known as Elvis
<Elvis> Ah huh huh..
<Electric> Here, have a cheeseburger :)
<Electric> Now go take some drugs and sit on the toilet...
*** Elvis has quit IRC (Quit: )
<Electric> It worked!