bash.org archive

<LPCx> hrm alabama has some IT jobs
<HenryV> heh
<HenryV> you'd need a new suit though
<HenryV> one of them kkk things
<LPCx> to bad i wouldn't fit in my sisters are allready
married :|
<HenryV> doh!

<Cyc66> http://cgi.ebay.ca/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=****
<Cyc66> plz ruin that auction
<bbz_> what do i want to do that for?
<Cyc66> she's a dirty whore
<bbz> maybe i could get her phone number
<Cyc66> uh why would u do that
<bbz> well, if she is a dirty whore

<pogo> i get to write on "intertextuality"
<Kevron5000> say what
<pogo> exaclty
<pogo> n: bullshit v: stupid
<serdar_argic> write 10 pages on masturbation
<Kevron5000> now that i can do
<pogo> or i could just masterbate on ten blank pages
<serdar_argic> ewww
<pogo> sign the bottom
<serdar_argic> thats pretty intertextual
<pogo> indeed

< bluehat> the more I think about it, the more I realize I
don't really need a perfect world to be happy
< bluehat> I'd easily settle for one where it is physically
impossible for a bathroom to run out of toilet paper
< andrewjb> careful what you wish for
< andrewjb> you may get that, but have to reuse the same
sheets of toilet paper

<ilovebeer> dont hate just cuz i fuked ur gurl
* GBL|DJ_Huxtable thinks......socrates.........can you even
get a gurl?
<Socrates> hey yeah... ilovebeer i dont even have a girl.. so
how can you fuk her....
<Socrates> gg i win
<Socrates> kinda...

<Pyro-> if he's childish enough to go on like it prove the
better man and ignore him
<Aslan> yes, that would be a very mature and excellent
solution
<Pyro-> Banning him only gives him the attention he wants.
<Aslan> I don't subscribe to 'turn the other cheek, though'...
I am more like an Old Testament jew
<Pyro-> Where exactly does the old testament tell you to ban
other people for calling you names over the internet?
<Pyro-> I'd love to hear it from THAT rabbi.
<Aslan> you have to look deep into leviticus
<Aslan> it's there... trust me

(@Kensey): what's a cack
(@TheNoid): kensey: PENIS
(@Kensey): cool i have a cack

*** Nilx ([email protected]) has joined channel #unixhelp
<Nilx> are there any webpages which are allowed to get hacked?
<Nilx> HELP

<@unionguy> let me tell you what i did with my saxaphone
<souletr> please don't start this off with one time at
bandcamp...

[ @Jesper ] windows is really secure, they just hid the close
exploits check box very well

SmarterChild: Market data (delayed 20 minutes) provided by
Reuters  
Ticker  Price  Change  Percent  Volume 
1  :-) B    26.50  +0.22   +0.84    18300
2  :-( A    22.15  -0.05   -0.23    747600
3  :-) S    38.50  +0.07   +0.18    688700
4  :-) T    14.45  +0.15   +1.05    930700
5  :-( A    22.15  -0.05   -0.23    747600
6  :-) R    43.55  +0.05   +0.11    157700
7  :-) D    64.77  +0.07   +0.11    342600

<Dulan> And if anyone here doesn't know what bukkake is....ask
Unifex to explain it. :P
<unifex> It's a kind of pastry, obviously.
<unifex> From Sweden.
<unifex> Not alot of people like that pastry though.
<unifex> People get so messy when eating it, too.

<stony> i'm sort of distracted at the moment]
<Skip>  getting laid?
<stony> lol no
<Skip>  then you have no excuse

<Ronwe> wtf.. I'm ignoring this commercial on the TV behind me
and then it says..
<Ronwe> "you can beat your beef. OR you can watch Britney Day"
<Maur> WTF
<Ronwe> I think I'm going to beat my beef *while* watching
Britney Day

<DRBS> this is so ghey what happened
<MoDoDynam> I know Bradford, I know.
<DRBS> matts an ayesshole
<MoDoDynam> Well sometimes in a friendship the parties
involved have to tear apart and develop a scar tissue in order
to strengthen the bond that they never had before. Maybe
that's our purpose in life: fighting to eventually gain
fulfillment with others.
<DRBS> ...
<DRBS> hold on i have to take a nasty shit.

crossoverfanatic: well, go to chinatown in your state, if its
possible and soak in the atmosphere
crossoverfanatic: its fun
crossoverfanatic: word of caution, wear bright colours
crossoverfanatic: preferably red
DWKomodo: why's that?
crossoverfanatic: red is a lucky colour
DWKomodo: that explains why communism caught on so well....

<DeadKenne> we're all naked under our clothes
<DeadKenne> hehe
<DocGonzo> we are?!?!!? shit!
<DocGonzo> i'll never look at 13 yr olds the same again

<blaz1n> if a chick clones herself... and proceeds to
basically have sex... would she be a lesbian? or just would
she be masturbating?

<DinoNeil> where the hell is Dan keeping himself these days?
<homeslice> In a jar under the sink.
<homeslice> He's saving it for marriage.

<StuGhattz> have you ever had a shit take so much out of you
that you needed to lie down after?
<flawed> no, but tell me more.. i'm getting turned on
<Linkadmin> StuGhattz: I had a nosebleed on the shitter once
<Linkadmin> from pushing so hard

<Karma`> Shit, you know you're in trouble when you find
yourself listening to ACDC
<Vast|away> yeh, acdc always sneaks up behind me and starts
playing and shit
<Vast|away> fucking annoying
<Karma`> You'd think they would have something better to do
eh?

<ev-> Here's a cute item from Japan that's a lot of fun --
instead of making boring ice cubes that you don't think
anything about, this will enable you to make fun heart-shaped
ice cubes. Works in any standard freezer, just fill with water
and freeze.
<ev-> works in any standard freezer
<ev-> thank god for that!

<JimAM> I wonder how long before illegal operations really are
illegal operations with DRM.

<Matt_of_Ni> is there anyway of overclocking your modem?

<Firestorm-> my parents
<Firestorm-> lol
<Firestorm-> they walked in on my once
<Firestorm-> that.. sucked.
<Firestorm-> seriously
<Firestorm-> nope
<Firestorm-> they walked in, screamed, left.
<Firestorm-> and I continued
<Hinkey> you continued after they left?
<Hinkey> you sick fuck
<Firestorm-> yes Hinkey I finished up.
<Firestorm-> and then I screamed at them

(@Furrikain) quickly, put your head to my anus!
(@Furrikain) you can hear the sea =D

<WimpBastard> so tired
<WimpBastard> 3am
<Buchwald> it's only 11am.  you should be wide awake
<WimpBastard> ...
<WimpBastard> wtf
<Buchwald> dude, i live in america.  our time is the correct
time.
<Buchwald> therefore, you should be awake
<WimpBastard> >:|

<Garr|ncha> metallica is a terrible mix of heavy metal and
country

<Ryk> you know the bottom half of an egg carton? I got me one
of those, and cut holes where the eggs sit. I'm gonna take it
home tonight, get nekkid, and have my own game of "smack the
weasel".

<tgopiate> you're such an integral part of the channel you
just took over, you know. =]
<massa> i'd probably be insulted
<massa> but i dont know what integral means

<J-DOgg> 52.  What does cobol stand for?
<Java_Lang> programming
<J-DOgg> Here's your 1st hint: common bus_____ ________
________
<GodDess|Lang> really stupid computer language
<GodDess|Lang> that i aced
<GodDess|Lang> and forgot the name
<GLOW|SonicReducer> Completely Obsolete Business Orientated
Langauge

<omglolbah> our official template database had a digital test
logic page called "DIGITEST" (from the times when we used 8.3
filenames)
<omglolbah> so my coworker needed to create one for analog
test logic <.<
<omglolbah> I got to write the docs for "Template: ANALTEST"

<opiate> i think i just got a new personal best for solitaire
<opiate> 10109 points, in 74 seconds.
<chewy-> sound like you live an incredibily interesting life
<opiate> its not that im bored, i actually like solitaire

meg32185: you're weird
meg32185: where do u think you can find wholesale socks on the
internet?

*** bflyblue ([email protected]) has joined #gothik
<bflyblue> identify d
*** bflyblue has quit IRC (Killed (NickServ (Ghost command
used by Jezebel)))
<Jezebel> *blink*
<Jezebel> omigod
<Jezebel> hahahahha
*** Jezebel is now known as Wither
<Wither> no one say a thing :)

<InvisableMan> with the new P4s and the amd opteron...
<Wish> Apple getting bashed everywhere :)
<InvisableMan> apple is the chick at the bukakke party

<{EDF}SS> and you can send files to people at 160kB/s?
<{EDF}SS> or kb/s?
<DRoawn> no they can download from me
<DRoawn> that fat
<DRoawn> fast
<{EDF}SS> so.....there's a difference between you sending
files to people and them downloading from you?
<DRoawn> yesd
<DRoawn> yes*
<{EDF}SS> ....I.....see......

<Afsan> the question is.. would the fbi suspect a terrorist
from a university in Australia?  arn't we ment to be the good
guys?
<Gothmog> we're everywhere...
<Gothmog> i mean...
<Gothmog> _they're_ everywhere
<Gothmog> phew lucky save there
<Afsan> yes you almost exposed us!
<Afsan> one of your camels must now be castrated!

<CactusJac> masturbating is like pringles
<ori0n> once you pop, you can't stop!

<K`> mithrandi: where's this bash.org ?

smallchild ([email protected]) has joined. «46
people»
* @Liam touches smallchild......
<@Liam> I'm so sorry

<fuzzwad> theres like that one kid in every state that goes to
best buy JUST to destroy the controller
<fuzzwad> you know the one that smells funny and follows you
around
<fuzzwad> STARING at you...
<fuzzwad> I WANT TO SQUEEZE A LEMON IN THAT KID'S EYE
<Lazz> wow
<Lazz> how can you fit a lemon in an eye?
<fuzzwad> ILL FIND OUT!!!

<Atarax> Canada is the USA's largest national park

<madvirii> you gotta wake up with a certain "attitude" to face
the day and lick some asshole
<CoMBo> yeah or grow up eating some really shitty cooking to
acquire a taste for anus
<madvirii> yes anus would be an acquired taste
<madvirii> not something you instinctively put to your mouth

<mp> wanna invest in some mp love coupons?
<dev0n> mp: no. i think my mutual fund will perform better :)

<gh5046> The day a boy becomes a man is the day he realizes
even pretty girls go poop.
<felix> haha
<felix> the day he becomes a dirty man is the day he realizes
poop is sexy
* felix shudders

Hurricane_Hasney- hehe, my g/f gets scared of talking to other
people, god knows why lol
Hurricane_Hasney- Probably cuz shes used to being locked in my
garage...

<Recca_sama> ok ok ok...........cyber........yesterday
afternoon.......my mom knocked on my door and I opened it and
she was talking to me about if i had enough money for the
night and stuff like that.......and out of no where from
iparty comes cyber's voice saying "your mom cab sit on my big
cock. I want to fuck her hard"

<woops> people without porn invent stuff like computers or
solve world hunger

teh Tycho fan: none of us can get laid
Ketrus: Sure you can.  Go commit a felony.
Ketrus: Granted, by 'laid', I mean 'sodomized', but still.

<Melissa> skinny is teh win
<Melissa> bettar than fat
<DarkShadow> true
<Melissa> nothing weirder than hearing a guys flab smack
against you while fucking
<Melissa> talk about a mood killer

BeHeMoTh101 : but he told my dad that the whores who worked
for him were the most honest people he ever knew
TX Luder : interesting
TX Luder : i would think it would be quite hard to not be
honest after youve had a dick in you ass
TX Luder : thats when ya realize life needs to be taken
seriously

<ruckuz> but then again i was really poor as a child. good
thing i was a boy otherwise i wouldn't have had anything to
play with

<alex> well with the intel pentium III processor enhancing the
web as it is, who knows

<guest1101> techno...  I pity you..
<guest1101> I really do
<@Technogeek> Because I have the burden of intelligence?
<guest1101> NOT AT ALL
<guest1101> U ALWAYS SAY THAT SHIT
<@Boogaleeboo> "U"
<@Boogaleeboo> Good move

<Turd_Ferguson> static he is also a digital gangster
<static> digital gangster?
<static> wtf does that mean?
<static> he haf a digital crew of thugs?
<static> a shit load of 1's and 0's?

<ph^pr0phet> i got kicked in the balls earlier in the summer
<chaowork> ouch
<Booger> hah
<chaowork> by a chick?
<Booger> try to NOT do that
<ph^pr0phet> yea
<ph^pr0phet> heh
<Booger> or wear a nutcup
<chaowork> u need to learn to stand sideways when u hit on em

<Innocent_ASK> Spike from Buffy is my ideal man!
<BishiGartt> he's the male version of Cher
<BishiLatino> only with less penis and more makeup

<Zeuxy> I have to take all the dead small children out of my
walls.
<Zeuxy> Cable guy's coming on monday.
<Kayin> Zeuxy: so you're a pedonecrophiliac?
<Zeuxy> Kayin: I never said I fucked them.
<Zeuxy> .. well.. just the chicks
<Zeuxy> But usually while they're alive
<astral> 'usually.'

<Gryphon> any ideas what this error is when i try to ping a pc
on my LAN: connect: Netowork is unreachable

<RazorX> tired of hearing my 200 pound upstairs neighbor walk
<chemdog> hey, I'm 200 lbs!
<RazorX> so is she
<chemdog> doh!
<FS_Falcon_GA> Raxoz you haven't tried to hit it yet?
<RazorX> no ive heard it getting hit.... i think it hits back
<FS_Falcon_GA> Man we didn't get you drunk enough yet. I'll
have to work on that
<RazorX> not enough beer in the world my man

<Aury> O.o;; You all have to wait longer for movies to come
out?
<leckie> Well yeah... sometimes.
<Aury> What is that, some sort of backwater hell of a town?
<leckie> It's the UK Aury.

<|Phreak|> Mind2: do you know of anything to benchmark/
stresstest an ftpd?
<PsychoOne> phreak: make a post to slashdot telling them you
have naked pictures of richard stallman
<Mind2> you don't want naked pics of stallman.
<Mind2> the nutbag of a nutbag is not recommended viewing.

[hehohno] I really swear rev is a music columnist.
[hehohno] You have that bitter, "radiohead is ok, if you like
rehashed pink floyd tracks" feel about you.

<ChewToy> hrm... my girlfriend should be getting off work soon
<ChewToy> i should get really really stoned before she gets
here
<spazzer> actually
<spazzer> chew
<spazzer> i got off your girlfriend this afternoon first
<ChewToy> spazzer she's fucking hot :)
<ChewToy> she puts out!
<spazzer> hence, i said i got off of her first
<ChewToy> she sucks good dick doesnt she?
<spazzer> i was getting close, and she told me to put my
finger in her ass
<ChewToy> she's a manager at a victorias secret
<ChewToy> :>
* KNG_SNK wonders how chew scored that
<dazemobil> he ordered her in the catalog =o

<bill> Last time christ went to church, they killed him. What
makes you think he wants to return?

<therioman> at this rate i'll end up working for some company,
being married and having 4 kids
<therioman> which i will ensure doesn't happen
<therioman> i shall barricade myself with 45U racks

<Valvados> Words cannot express just how much Joe Hisaishi
ownz me
<Vicious> how about "Joe Hisaishi is gay" ?
<Valvados> YOU TAKE THAT BACK YOU THUNDERING MORON
<Vicious> MAKE ME YOU BLATHERING DOLT

<[Banned-H]G-Daddy>no, see, do a threesome 2guys/1girl... so
you have the bigger dick (gotta take a chance) and she'll
ignore him.. so you can do his boyfriend with him watching :)
<Claus> woah there G!
<Isajeep> rofl
<Claus> "so you can do his boyfriend with him watching"
<Isajeep> I don't call him Gay-Daddy for nothing
<[Banned-H]G-Daddy> er.. her her her
<[Banned-H]G-Daddy> jesus... what am I thinking