bash.org archive

<madz> sbs, would you choose:  Linux, or Windows?
<sbs> I would choose: Oral Sex.

<@DocGonzo> yeh, my gf + monitor was 109lbs
<@DocGonzo> and it wasnt even trinitron
<usunoro> your gf weighs like 60lb?
<usunoro> she's TINY
<@DocGonzo> er, i mean g4

(Guilty) Fionna's body is similar to that of a 13 year old boy
in Etheopia

<zero|afk> I'M A COMPUTER NERD LOOKING FOR SOMEWHERE TO POKE
MY DICK IM NOT TOO SPECIFIC. PLZ RESPOND

tom: you know it's not a good sign when you go for a trip, and
only realize a week later that you forgot to unpack your bag
tom: and your bag includes your deodorant and toothbrush

<DragonBlaze> I want to name my kids after people I hate, so I
can beat them - and feel good about it.

<AlmtyBob> I think they should make 'Powerpuff Girls: 2012', a
live action movie, where the powerpuff girls are played by mad
hot chicks
<AlmtyBob> teenage chicks

<Nathicana> invasion, penetration, domination ... tis all
related.
<Sirithil> Yes, my militarism is just all Freudian
expression...

<niles> If you use that logic, then using a completely open
and unsecured network would be ok if you sealed the computer
in a locked metal box, since it would deter physical attacks
by baseball bats (ALL attacks are of equal value, right?). Or
you could say that adding the line "WWJD" to the telnet login
prompt would be a valid defense since it would lower the
instance of attacks by Christians by 80%.

<+maaneeack> and I can't get off 56k if there is nothing else
<+maaneeack> 56k, or yelling, and there is waaaay too much
packet loss and downtime on yelling
<acquacow> that's what I tried to tell my mom
<acquacow> so I moved out
<acquacow> we now communicate digitally
<acquacow> and with the right spam filter
<acquacow> I hear nothing at all.

<notaku> why do toasters always have a setting that burns the
toast to a horrible crisp which no decent human being would
eat?
<asiago> notaku, so you can cook slabs of concrete
<asiago> don't worry, as your toaster ages that setting will
barely brown the bread

--> heha (cyber@????????.ipt.aol.com) has joined #linux
--- YeahBabY sets ban on *!*@*.aol.???
<-- Crikey has kicked heha from #linux (banned: Too many
problems with AOL.  Use another ISP.  Permban)
<thinko> nice ban, covers those pesky aol.mil ppl too

jd1seeker: ok heres the the problem ... ive been seeing this
girl for like a year now and i think shes getting bored of me
... we havent gone out or done anything fun in months , all we
do is sit home and watch movies... so what i need help with is
what should i with this girl , meaning bring her somewhere fun
so she dosent think i a total loser ..
TripleZero: Stick it in her butt, that always brings new
excitment to the relationship

<Zaph23> I am getting so sick of my underling
<Zaph23> He sucks ass
<Zaph23> Almost every time I come out of my office I catch him
web surfing
<biggles> any good sites?
<biggles> i'd be pissed if he was only looking at
fatchicksinpartyhats

<Shea-> it makes me giggle like a giddy asian schoolgirl on a
rainbow brite pony
<Shea-> mmmm pony.

<Gwindor> I like how horses can shit and walk at the same
time.  what an achievment!  must have taken centuries of
adaption.

< peter> alanis morrisette is a prime example of why horses
shouldn't be allowed to sing.

* ProdigalGenius ([email protected]) Quit (Read
error: Connection reset by peer)
<Namen> Who is peer and why is he running around the net
resetting connections?
<Inquisitor> Peer is a drunkard who beats his kids and resets
connections because his inability to retain fluids, more
specifically of an urinal nature, prevents him from remaining
dry for more than 20 minutes, causing him much ridicule and
disdain.  This is a frustration which has scarred him, and
some accounts inform that he has been seen wading on his own
pool of piss screaming "I AM NO BEDWETTER I AM NO BEDWETTER".

<pagan> dude youll be talking about that still when were 60
years old
<jstepka-w> i know
<jstepka-w> because it's the triumph of my life
<jstepka-w> two bitches at once
<jstepka-w> and i didn't pay

<Kasugai>  Oh my...  I seem to have spilled vodka all over
myself
<joust>  Kasugai's remaining brain cells must be delighted

<Guyp> i want to join the red army and then kill the
capitalist snake!
<Guyp> hmmm
<Guyp> you cant join the russian army online :(

* choric gets annoyed with typing out bash.org into mozilla
all the time:
<choric> bashorg () { lynx -dump "www.bash.org?$1" | less; }
<rik> choric: heh. i did this one yesterday: qdb () { links
http://bash.org/\?$1 }
<martin> You lazy addicted fucks.
* martin adds it.

<pyre> I need to download more hardware

<Ferd|inking> what the heck is a Chaotic Slacker?
<Seritaph> I'd tell you, but I lost my notes.

<genesis> mommy, why doesnt bc do logic math?
<ch> because you touch yourself.
<genesis> a world without bit shifts is a world i dont want to
masturbate in

<tr0n> I want a brazil renderfarm licence. =(
<EvilKosh> AND ALSO A REGULAR FARM WITH SEXY TEEN SLUTS WHO
GET IT ON WITH FARM ANIMALS

<MrSaturn> google dosent seem to be working.  when i press the
"i'm feeling lucky" button i'm left unsatisfied

<u-238> PARA FOR SHIT'S SAKE JUST LOOK AT MY ATOMIC MASS

:::: Now in #bearcave
* martraci slowly leaves; back against the wall

<Wilik> I should make a virus
<Wilik> one that installs the bible on the a computer
<Fishbait> rofl
<Fishbait> that'd be a huge as bible
<Fishbait> err virus
<Wilik> rofl
<Wilik> yea
<Wilik> it goes in
<Wilik> and everytime you open a .avi
<Wilik> it'll say thats against the law of god
<Fishbait> the lord shall smite thy porn
<Wilik> and crash wmp

@j0hn: haha
@j0hn: 35 trojans
j0hn quit (formatting)

<splice> a duran, a thomson twin, eddie money, huey lewis, and
keith richards
<splice> get those clowns together and you've got cocaine
voltron

(akerom) anyone gota picture of a fat naked stomach?
(akerom) or a fat naked girl
(akerom) im making a comic of last night

<Durand:#depressed> Nobody's talking to me. I'm moving to #
suicide

<Afxtwin> I am looking for some really good ascii art
<ecto> I got it
<ecto> but you got to suck my dick first.
<sXr> show him your cok pls
<ecto>            _
<ecto>           /\) _  
<ecto>      _   / / (/\ 
<ecto>     /\) ( Y)  \ \
<ecto>    / /   ""   (Y )
<ecto>   ( Y)  _      ""
<ecto>    ""  (/\       _ 
<ecto>         \ \     /\)
<ecto>         (Y )   / /
<ecto>          ""   ( Y)
<ecto>                ""

<ChunLi> my friend works at a hospital and said this guy came
in with an aspargaus stuck up his ass =)

<ideal`> The cable television network YTN estimated that up to
3,000 people had been killed or injured in huge explosions
that followed the collision of a train carrying gasoline and a
second carrying liquefied petroleum gas.
<ideal`> talk about an unlucky turn of events
<AtriumXP> Yeah, our gas prices are going to go up :(

<Linguica> heh
<Quasar`> bone thugs called the street they lived on the
Double Glock because its East 99th
<Linguica> has anyone noticed that quasar almost never talks
about bone thugsFUCK

<SYch0> >>> Spelling error in digdug. Suggestions:
<SYch0> uiu 1. lamer

(GoatBoy) WHO IS THIS SANCHEZ GUY
(GoatBoy) AND WHY IS HE DIRTY?

<mappyman> i sent off for a PAL videotape of Captain Jack
<mappyman> still in backorder
<Hiko> heh
<Hiko> how you gonna play a PAL tape?
<mightyflo> just crack it
<mightyflo> www.vhscopyworld.com

<+Xta-C> once, dad told me about the birds and the bees
<+Xta-C> i tried to shag a wasp :/

<Rikhei> I am *not* a pricktease
<K`shandra> oh - you follow through.  Okay. ;-)

<Watermelon> so many fruits...kiwi, peaches, banana
<Watermelon> and me!
<Watermelon> bwhahaha
<Kiwi> ...
<Watermelon> we almost have a salad

<@pork> whats best buy
<@Al> pork: it's a store, they're kind of like the trading
posts you have in australia only with carpet and fewer cured
crocodile hides.

<enid> laz. sounds like you just need to get sex.
<enid> hold on, i'll scan my tits for you.
<^Laz> yeah... theres been a serious lack of that lately for
me
<^Laz> lately being the last 20 years

<kisama> these penguin mints are weak
<Guilty> Snow you're in college now, you need amphetamines
<Guilty> No weak caffeine mints

<jaff> once my heater caught on fire while I was playing t1 ,
but I had the flag so I was fucking torn, luckily I was on RW
and organised a very quick hand off

<carcoal> what's a good car?
<carcoal> truck or sub
<jitspoe> sumbarines are usually good cars, carcoal

<dive> hey
<dive> i got something we can debate
<dive> which is worse, MS as in multiple sclerosis or MS as in
microsoft
<dive> i honestly am not sure.
<zan> heh
<zan> microsoft is
<dive> yeah
<zan> because with multiple sclerosis you can use unix still

<BluBandit> hello kitty is one cat i'd like to violate

<luftmeister> i love the way the chicken nuggets are all the
same shape
<Celestar> so that you need only one instruction manual to
swallow them?

<gage> i drank a beer in the shower today
<christ> dude, you drank a beer in the shower?
<gage> i sho did
<gage> cold beer + hot shower = good
<christ> dude, this is what state OPs is in, we don't have
time to drink a
beer like normal people anymore

[01:05] <Hiyaz> I have my Windows 95 dick from my old Desk top
[01:05] <Elysian`> hmm
[01:05] <Elysian`> win95 dick
[01:05] <magtec> some may call me desperate, but i really
don't think i'd want one of those.
[01:07] <MrSparkle> magtec:  you never know what kinda virus
you could get from a Win95 d....
[01:07] <Elysian`> a STD
[01:07] <Elysian`> Setup Transmitted Disease

<jafo> one more drink and I'll be ready for gay sex

[ @Billy ] elim you type while away
[ Elim-away ] yea, im in my bathroom taking a shit
[ Elim-away ] i have a lil midget tell me what your saying,
and ill tell him what to type

<fenix> YOU VARNISHED PINOCHIO'S GENITALS???

<Ogredude> neat, but the 2k doesn't work
<Ogredude> now comes decision time
<Ogredude> do I try to repair WinME or do I wipe the hard
drive and install the much better win98SE
<JeremiahSmith> You throw the whole thing out the window and
become Amish.

Mizz0Spiegel:  There were so many southerners in florida
Shinigaami: Uhh, maybe that's because Florida's in the south.

<unixpeon> we need a Bush Family vs Iraq episode for MTV
Deathmatch

<@RuneCaster> but they cost you an arm, leg and your left
testicle
<skold> i wonder why someone would want your arm, leg and
testicle
<@RuneCaster> skold: MacDonald's

<inflex> the best way would be to be a lesbian stuck in a
chicks body
<inflex> that way when you couldn't get any, you would still
enjoy fucking
yourself
<inflex> wheras whenever i want to fuck myself i've gotta
touch some dick
<inflex> and any situation where i have to touch a dick is
undesirable

<ChaosBob> somebody needs to write an irc client that makes
chat text look like source code
<ChaosBob> for when your boss walks in the room

<@Daren> anyone wanna buy a second hand BMW?
<@Daren> it fell off the back of a ferry

<Joghurt^> hell yeah i want some lego porn

<reppy> I made her cum with the cock of fury!
<_bigd_> reppy, she made you buy the Cock of Fury(tm) and use
it on her?

<Mort-Hog> Is 'clenches' spelt right?
<Flirbnic> No, it's 'headphones'.

<DaScott> I want to be in the @home commercials, when they
interview the dorks that use it "I can sure download a ton of
porn!"

<stryhf> why do people persist in continuing to write SHIT
APPLICATIONS IN JAVA
<stryhf> writing SHIT in JAVA doesn't make it ANY LESS SHITTY
<stryhf> IT JUST MKAES IT SLOW ASS SHIT